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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 9:07:32 PM

sylphgossamer

Posts: 383
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

I've had a particularly persistent erection for the past 10 hours. I saw on TV that this can be dangerous. What should I do?

This erection just keeps getting worse...or better...not sure... I really need some good advice on what to do. What if it explodes?

tell the neighbors it's an early cinqo de mayo fireworks and pinata celebration and pick up all the pieces of good stuff you can

now keep in mind that with that 10" 10 hour erection, you will have to notify the entire states of new mexico, arizona, colorado, oklahoma, texas, utah, northern mexico, and parts of california

i am starving on this, my first diet. what should i do so that i feel well fed and happy?

< Message edited by sylphgossamer -- 5/4/2006 9:37:48 PM >

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(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 601

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 9:26:53 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

I've had a particularly persistent erection for the past 10 hours. I saw on TV that this can be dangerous. What should I do?

This erection just keeps getting worse...or better...not sure... I really need some good advice on what to do. What if it explodes?

tell the neighbors it's an early cinqo de mayo fireworks and pinata celebration and pick up all the pieces of good stuff you can

i am starving on this, my first diet. what should i do so that i feel well fed and happy?

According to a good friend of mine, nothing beats dry Cheerios when it comes to gastronomic satisfaction.

I need to get my girl here, fast!! How can I best accomplish that?

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to sylphgossamer)

Post #: 602

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 9:28:27 PM

Takethiswaltz

Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Well, first make sure it is out of gas. Open up the gas cap and look in. If it is too dark and you don't see anything use a lighter or matches for light. Then push the car to the gas station, get the gas... be sure to secure the gas can in an upright position in the trunk of the car, push the car back home and put the gas in and start it up.

Too funny.

(sorry to cut in. carry on. )

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 603

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 9:45:37 PM

sylphgossamer

Posts: 383
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat
I've had a particularly persistent erection for the past 10 hours. I saw on TV that this can be dangerous. What should I do?
This erection just keeps getting worse...or better...not sure... I really need some good advice on what to do. What if it explodes?

tell the neighbors it's an early cinqo de mayo fireworks and pinata celebration and pick up all the pieces of good stuff you can

tell the neighbors it's an early cinqo de mayo fireworks and pinata celebration and pick up all the pieces of good stuff you can

now keep in mind that with that 10" 10 hour erection, you will have to notify the entire states of new mexico, arizona, colorado, oklahoma, texas, utah, northern mexico, and parts of california

i am starving on this, my first diet. what should i do so that i feel well fed and happy?

According to a good friend of mine, nothing beats dry Cheerios when it comes to gastronomic satisfaction.

I need to get my girl here, fast!! How can I best accomplish that?

don't let that 10" 10-hour erection explode, of course!

and cheerios suck; everyone knows special k has more taste : )

i'm really really hot for my guy, and i'm going nuts not being with him in what seems like years; what can i do?

< Message edited by sylphgossamer -- 5/4/2006 9:46:25 PM >

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Post #: 604

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 9:58:40 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

I need to get my girl here, fast!! How can I best accomplish that?

don't let that 10" 10-hour erection explode, of course!

and cheerios suck; everyone knows special k has more taste : )

i'm really really hot for my guy, and i'm going nuts not being with him in what seems like years; what can i do?

Have him cough up the dough for a plane ticket, fly there tomorrow, let him fuck your brains out for the whole weekend, then fly the redeye home on Sunday night or very early Monday morning.

hmmm...not sure that's really really bad advice, though.

My cats are staying here in my motel with me while I am on a job. We love being together, but they get kinda bored while I am out on the job. What can they do for entertainment while I am at work?

< Message edited by DesertRat -- 5/4/2006 10:02:20 PM >

(in reply to sylphgossamer)

Post #: 605

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 10:02:53 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

My cats are staying here in my motel with me while I am on a job. We love being together, but they get kinda bored while I am out on the job. What can they do for entertainment while I am at work?

Let about 4 dozen mice loose in the motel room. That should keep them busy.

Something is wrong with my computer printer. The text when it prints looks fuzzy. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 606

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 10:07:07 PM

sylphgossamer

Posts: 383
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat
I need to get my girl here, fast!! How can I best accomplish that?

don't let that 10" 10-hour erection explode, of course!
and cheerios suck; everyone knows special k has more taste : )

i'm really really hot for my guy, and i'm going nuts not being with him in what seems like years; what can i do?

Have him cough up the dough for a plane ticket, fly there tomorrow, let him fuck your brains out for the whole weekend, then fly the redeye home on Sunday night or very early Monday morning.

hmmm...not sure that's really really bad advice, though.

My cats are staying here in my motel with me while I am on a job. We love being together, but they get kinda bored while I am out on the job. What can they do for entertainment while I am at work?

(hoping he's calling the airlines as i type...gotta get to that 10" 10-hour and counting erection before it explodes!!!)

they can play with your submissive while you're at work and then disappear when you come home and fuck her brains out for the rest of the day and night

i'm worried that this monster erection will be more than i can handle; what can i do?? it's growing by the minute!

_____________________________

got shoes?

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 607

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 10:13:10 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

i'm worried that this monster erection will be more than i can handle; what can i do?? it's growing by the minute!

Insert a large propane tank inside of you and keep it there for at least a week.

Something is wrong with my computer printer. The text when it prints looks fuzzy. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to sylphgossamer)

Post #: 608

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 10:16:38 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer

(hoping he's calling the airlines as i type...gotta get to that 10" 10-hour and counting erection before it explodes!!!)

they can play with your submissive while you're at work and then disappear when you come home and fuck her brains out for the rest of the day and night

i'm worried that this monster erection will be more than i can handle; what can i do?? it's growing by the minute!

(Contacting airlines as I speak)
Stop worrying. Consider it an act of supreme submission.

Gauge's mouse idea for the kitties is a damn good one.

On the printer: Install a corrective lens over the printer nozzle assembly. You can get them at any NASA Space Telescope repair shop.

My pants seem too tight lately, but I don't seem to have gained weight. What's going on?

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to sylphgossamer)

Post #: 609

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 10:20:00 PM

sylphgossamer

Posts: 383
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: sylphgossamer

(hoping he's calling the airlines as i type...gotta get to that 10" 10-hour and counting erection before it explodes!!!)

they can play with your submissive while you're at work and then disappear when you come home and fuck her brains out for the rest of the day and night

i'm worried that this monster erection will be more than i can handle; what can i do?? it's growing by the minute!

(Contacting airlines as I speak)
Stop worrying. Consider it an act of supreme submission.

Gauge's mouse idea for the kitties is a damn good one.

On the printer: Install a corrective lens over the printer nozzle assembly. You can get them at any NASA Space Telescope repair shop.

My pants seem too tight lately, but I don't seem to have gained weight. What's going on?

your erection must have been into the miracle grow (or else you've been thinking of me a LOT lately). to fix this problem, go naked. just carry a big stick to beat off all the admirers you will attract.

i can't decide what to eat for my meager dessert. any ideas?

_____________________________

got shoes?

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 610

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 10:20:54 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

My pants seem too tight lately, but I don't seem to have gained weight. What's going on?

You are transforming into a space alien. Go to the White House and strip all your clothes off and tell tham to take you to their leader.

It is really warm in my apartment. What can I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 611

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 10:28:34 PM

ElectraGlide

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

10 Hour Erection ? What the hell are you doing, freebasing Viagra like Hugh Hefner does to satisfy his stable of blonde beauties.

(in reply to sylphgossamer)

Post #: 612

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 10:30:53 PM

sylphgossamer

Posts: 383
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElectraGlide

10 Hour Erection ? What the hell are you doing, freebasing Viagra like Hugh Hefner does to satisfy his stable of blonde beauties

he's been talking to his submissive and getting hotter than hell : ) i am the luckiest submissive on the planet!

he NEVER needs viagra; good lord, on that he'd have that 10-hour erection for weeks!!!

< Message edited by sylphgossamer -- 5/4/2006 10:33:26 PM >

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got shoes?

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Post #: 613

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/4/2006 10:31:26 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

My pants seem too tight lately, but I don't seem to have gained weight. What's going on?

You are transforming into a space alien. Go to the White House and strip all your clothes off and tell tham to take you to their leader.

It is really warm in my apartment. What can I do?

Try stepping away from the computer for a while and sitting in front of the air conditioner.

The plane tickets to fly my girl here on short notice are too damned expensive. It's a ripoff. How can I get a fair shake from the airlines?

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 614

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/5/2006 7:11:29 AM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

Not sure I should say this, ok I will but this answer may not be here in the morning.
Get your girlfriend to board a local plane and say to the passengers ‘Relax everyone we are going to NM USA God willing!’ Ensure she uses the god willing part.

My house needs a good clear out but I can’t be arsed to do it. So what should I do?

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 615

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/5/2006 7:26:36 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Strike anywhere matches can cover a multitude of sins.

I have so many problems that I can't seem to pick one to be advised on, can you help?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 616

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/5/2006 9:42:54 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I have so many problems that I can't seem to pick one to be advised on, can you help?

Tie your hands behind your back, put a noose around your neck, tie the other end of the rope to a high anchor position, stand on a huge block of ice, turn on the heat. Once in place try to untie yourself. You'll realize you really only have one problem and even if you can't untie yourself before the ice melts at the end of the day you won't have any.

I want to sell my company and retire now, but I can't decide whether to open that B&D-B&B beth and I always dreamed of having; or customizing a travel trailer complete with dungeon and traveling from one BDSM event to the other throughout the country.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 617

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/5/2006 10:52:16 AM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
...; or customizing a travel trailer complete with dungeon and traveling from one BDSM event to the other throughout the country.

You could call it, "gain, own, be"
(may have to work for that one)

After getting a speeding ticket the other day (the first in the history of the city of Houston), I'm suddenly attracted to policemen. What should I do to get their attention?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 618

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/5/2006 12:50:13 PM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

After getting a speeding ticket the other day (the first in the history of the city of Houston), I'm suddenly attracted to policemen. What should I do to get their attention?

Rent a shiny red corvette...hop on the toll road...going 80 mph and breeze through the toll booths...shan't take too long before you'll catch a man in uniform...remember to have your handcuffs handy so you can bring him home should he resist.

I have half a birthday cake left and noone to help me eat it...i'm resisting temptations to scarf it cause i hate to waste food...any suggestions?

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.

(in reply to caitlyn)

Post #: 619

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/5/2006 1:03:05 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I have half a birthday cake left and noone to help me eat it...i'm resisting temptations to scarf it cause i hate to waste food...any suggestions?

I don't understand what the problem is, but I will try to help anyway. Get someone to spraypaint pictures of vegetables on the cake... that way you won't feel guilty for eating it.

I really need to do something about my car, it keeps breaking down. Since it looks like I am getting a new one, what can I do with my old car?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to champagnewishes)

Post #: 620

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