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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/19/2006 2:44:55 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		uh...i think i will just run out to the store, but thanks

my dog is sick what should i do?

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 801
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/19/2006 3:15:18 PM   
littlesubjess


Posts: 305
Joined: 2/2/2006
Status: offline 		walk him round the garden 3 times over under a full moon then feed him whisky mixed with er .... carrots .... lol

i cant stop smoking .... what shall i do ?

jess xxx

_____________________________

And on the eighth day, He created Jessica ...

Anything is possible if you try hard enough ...... xxx

Only the one who hurts you can make you feel better. Only the one who inflicts the pain can take it away.

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 802
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/19/2006 3:20:02 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		roll around on the ground and douse yourself with water

i am addicted to the forums what should I do?

(in reply to littlesubjess)
Profile   Post #: 803
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/19/2006 3:31:54 PM   
littlesubjess


Posts: 305
Joined: 2/2/2006
Status: offline 		roll around on the ground and douse yourself with water  lol

im addicted to cutting and pasting lol ... what should i do ?

jess xxx



_____________________________

And on the eighth day, He created Jessica ...

Anything is possible if you try hard enough ...... xxx

Only the one who hurts you can make you feel better. Only the one who inflicts the pain can take it away.

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 804
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/19/2006 5:36:19 PM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline 		Lil, cutting and pasting? Oh my. Join a support group, get some counseling. Or perhaps convince your Dom/me to do some knife play and get out the glue.

There was some talk of using Crazy Glue on one's genitals. Good idea or not? 

(in reply to littlesubjess)
Profile   Post #: 805
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/19/2006 5:40:54 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Brilliant.  As long as their not mine or yours, who cares?

How do I get "it's a small world" out of my head?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 806
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/19/2006 8:39:10 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		(*swats benji* damnit you passed it on to me..... )
 
Start singing " this is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because... This is the song that never ends....
 
I want to make a daiquiri and I dont have a blender anymore ( ex broke it ... bastard!) what should I do?

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 807
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/19/2006 10:39:24 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I want to make a daiquiri and I dont have a blender anymore ( ex broke it ... bastard!) what should I do?


Go over to your ex's house. Shove all the ingredients for the daiquiri down their throat and then beat the hell out of them with a shovel. Have them throw up into a glass for you.


I am having some trouble remembering things. It isn't a good thing at my age. Are there ways to improve my memory?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 808
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/20/2006 12:06:50 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Hire a personal assistant to be with you 24/7 and write down
every last word that comes out of your mouth or is written
by your hands.
 
I want some new plants for the living room but there is
insuffient sunlight.  What should I do?
 
Vendaval


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I am having some trouble remembering things. It isn't a good thing at my age. Are there ways to improve my memory?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 809
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/20/2006 12:54:27 AM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		Take the roof off of your house and replace it with clear plastic, making it into a greenhouse.

My rice steamer has quit working, how do I repair it?

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 810
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/20/2006 1:02:07 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Hire a personal assistant to be with you 24/7 and write down
every last word that comes out of your mouth or is written
by your hands.
 
I want some new plants for the living room but there is
insuffient sunlight.  What should I do?
 
Vendaval


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I am having some trouble remembering things. It isn't a good thing at my age. Are there ways to improve my memory?



 
Cut a hole in your roof and turn it into a massive sky light.

I've just embarked on a three day trip to California. While driving, half way there already, I remembered that I had forgotten to leave food for the dogs. What should I do?


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 811
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/20/2006 9:42:27 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My rice steamer has quit working, how do I repair it?


Well, I am not sure how to repair it, but until you do get it repaired, take your rice to the dry cleaners and ask them to steam it for you.

quote:

 I've just embarked on a three day trip to California. While driving, half way there already, I remembered that I had forgotten to leave food for the dogs. What should I do?  


Did you say dogs, plural? Don't worry... if they get hungry enough one will eat the other one.


I think my oldest son downloaded music that he shouldn't have. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 812
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/20/2006 1:33:17 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Now's the time to break out the "birds and the bees" story, Gauge.
Be sure to make it as boring and clinical as possible.  He will
loose all interest in songs and videos about hot chicks and wild
sex.  Be sure to toss in a few stories of your wild youth and give
him the stern warning to, "Do as I say, not as I do!"
 
I need to stay awake all night for both shows.  Which soda
or energy drink will give Me the most bang for My bucks?
 
Vendaval



 
 


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I think my oldest son downloaded music that he shouldn't have. What should I do?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 813
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/21/2006 10:21:51 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I need to stay awake all night for both shows.  Which soda or energy drink will give Me the most bang for My bucks?


Well, hydrochloric acid works nicely as a pick-me-up.


I am running out of room in my freezer and there is a great sale on meats at the store... what can I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 814
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/23/2006 5:11:44 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		Give a big party inviting inviting everyone you know and use what is in your freezer now, then go out to the sale and fill it up again.

I have lost some weight and would like to scale down some of my bustiers.  What would be the easiest way to do this?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 815
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2006 12:19:46 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have lost some weight and would like to scale down some of my bustiers. What would be the easiest way to do this?

Uh, I hope we're talking about Bear's woman and not Bear himself.

Rather than reduce the bustiers, try stuffing 2 (or 3) girls into each. Lace them tightly and use to decorate parties.

Q: I need to pierce a clitoral hood and all I have are ordinary automotive tools. Oh, what shall I do?

(in reply to HouseofBear)
Profile   Post #: 816
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2006 12:22:34 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have lost some weight and would like to scale down some of my bustiers. What would be the easiest way to do this?

Uh, I hope we're talking about Bear's woman and not Bear himself.

Rather than reduce the bustiers, try stuffing 2 (or 3) girls into each. Lace them tightly and use to decorate parties.

Q: I need to pierce a clitoral hood and all I have are ordinary automotive tools. Oh, what shall I do?[/b

(in reply to HouseofBear)
Profile   Post #: 817
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2006 12:28:27 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Q: I need to pierce a clitoral hood and all I have are ordinary automotive tools. Oh, what shall I do?


Well first you have to prepare the surface of the hood. Grind any rust out and put on a nice coat of primer. Fill any holes with Bondo and then sand that down. Once the hood is in decent shape, then you can have it painted with 3 coats of automotive paint. Finally, use a punch awl and large mallet and pierce the hood.


I think I want to become a doctor. Should I?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 818
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2006 8:46:10 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		(to answer Petruchio, definitely the female half, lol, and not Bear answering here) 

Yes, Gauge, considering how you answered the piercing question, I think it would be an excellent idea for you to become a doctor and then become an educator at a medical school on your unique techniques, lol.

I am thinking about ways to soundproof the dungeon.  Any hints?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 819
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2006 9:50:17 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am thinking about ways to soundproof the dungeon.  Any hints?


Dead people make wonderful sound insulation. Do not ask me how I know this.


I need a different place to hide the bodies. Any thoughts?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to HouseofBear)
Profile   Post #: 820
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