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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2006 10:54:08 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		You need 2 items, a tree chopper and a compost pile.
Throw in some earthworms and you are good to go.
 
I cannot decide between the liquid or the powder form
of bubble bath.  Which one is better?

Vendaval 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I need a different place to hide the bodies. Any thoughts?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 821
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2006 10:55:25 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		sound proof Bear's Dungeon with them
 
my parents are moving and I dont want to help... how do I get out of it?

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 822
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/24/2006 11:32:01 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

my parents are moving and I dont want to help... how do I get out of it?


Call the police...report yourself missing.  If your lucky, your face will be on a milk carton by the time moving day roles around.

I've been living in a hotel until i can find a place to live.  I had a scene with a Dom friend of mind and ever since that time, my neighbors have been paying me back for my screams by turning their speakers towards our adjoining wall and turning the bass up.  What can I do?

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 823
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 6:32:19 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

 had a scene with a Dom friend of mind and ever since that time, my neighbors have been paying me back for my screams by turning their speakers towards our adjoining wall and turning the bass up.  What can I do?


Send a legal notification that they will be required to pay you royalties every time they play it.

Should I invite my 'ex' and her new husband to a dinner party I'm having for my son's graduation?


(in reply to champagnewishes)
Profile   Post #: 824
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 7:03:33 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Should I invite my 'ex' and her new husband to a dinner party I'm having for my son's graduation?




Most definitely invite them.  Just make sure to seat them right between that fabulous cross dressing pre op transsexual dom
and big 250 lb balding Beth.  I'm sure they'll have a blast.

I need to get the oil changed in my car but don't have the time.  What should I do?

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 5/25/2006 7:19:50 AM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 825
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 7:32:34 AM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I need to get the oil changed in my car but don't have the time.  What should I do?


Oooh I know this one...i do it all the time and its environmentally sound...Old oil simply gets a little too thick for your car's engine....add a couple bottles of baby oil to the existing oil...not only does it thin it out, it makes your car smell baby fresh. 

I'm really getting tired of having to walk my dog three times a day...any way this can be avoided? 

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 826
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 8:33:33 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'm really getting tired of having to walk my dog three times a day...any way this can be avoided? 


Stop giving the dog water and insert a butt plug so it can't do its "business," then put it on one of those horse exercisers in the middle of your living room.  No more walking the dog. 
 
I bought a shelving unit for my bathroom, but it's only got wire shelves and my makeup keeps falling between the wires.  What should I do?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to champagnewishes)
Profile   Post #: 827
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 8:50:39 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I bought a shelving unit for my bathroom, but it's only got wire shelves and my makeup keeps falling between the wires.  What should I do?


Look around your neighborhood for a high-voltage step-up generator (at least 50,000 Volts).  It will be either on a tall pole or wire structure, or on the ground on a concrete slab.  It will be easy to identify because of the many large signs saying "DANGER -- HIGH VOLTAGE" on it.  Run a cable to the shelving unit in your bathroom (don't use wire from Radio Shack which will melt -- buy or steal some good quality high voltage transmission line)   VOILA!  the makeup in plastic containers will stay on the shelves because the containers will melt a bit and adhere.  The makeup in metal containers will be attracted by the strong electromagnetic force that now exists around the shelving units.

Glad to be of help.  P.S. -- this will also reduce the presence of insects, vermin and children in the bathroom.

    My submissive can't take a compliment.  She gets flustered and defensive when I tell her she's done something right.  What should I do?

--E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 828
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 8:54:13 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i cant stop smoking .... what shall i do ?

jess xxx


I know, its a belated reply.  But you need a better lubricant that won't break down so quickly.  Better oil, no smoke!

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to littlesubjess)
Profile   Post #: 829
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 12:46:45 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I cannot decide between the liquid or the powder form
of bubble bath.  Which one is better?


Bubble bath is soap and is expensive soap at that. In order to save money and time, you can get dishwashing liquid or dishwasher powder and use that. Not only will it create nice bubbles, but you can do your dishes in the bathtub while you are bathing.

quote:

 My submissive can't take a compliment.  She gets flustered and defensive when I tell her she's done something right.  What should I do? 


This is easy. Chain her to the front of a large truck and speed down the freeway. Be sure to tape her eyes open so she can see things that you almost hit etc. Then stop and compliment her. If she reacts like you describe, then repeat the above until you break her of the habit.


I can't seem to keep myself on a consistant sleep schedule because of insomnia. Is there any way I can treat my insomnia without drugs or alcohol?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 830
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 12:50:03 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Treat your insomnia to an ALL John Wayne weekend on TBS.

I am going to have to hay my yard because rain is keeping me from mowing.  Any better ideas?

Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 831
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 2:05:41 PM   
Lidh2l


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/22/2006
Status: offline 		Oh, COME ON!!!  Is there a better opportunity to play with gasoline and matches?  Burn the fucker down.  Besides, the rain should keep it from getting too horribly out of hand...right?  Make sure and buy some over mitts.  You know, just in case.

His roommate is an overworked passive aggressive.  He's getting to be a bit of a problem, especially since the roommate is one of her supervisors.  He really needs a couple of days off, but the work just keeps piling up.  What to do, what to do?  (NOTE: suggestions to knock him out are insufficient, since they have already been tried.)

_____________________________

I want a lover I don't have to love,
I want a girl who's to sad to give a fuck...
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
--Bright Eyes, Lover I Don't Have to Love

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 832
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 2:21:39 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

His roommate is an overworked passive aggressive.  He's getting to be a bit of a problem, especially since the roommate is one of her supervisors.  He really needs a couple of days off, but the work just keeps piling up.  What to do, what to do?  (NOTE: suggestions to knock him out are insufficient, since they have already been tried.)


Kidnap him. Shave his entire body. Dress him up in a quail suit and release him where Dick Cheney is hunting. If the quail suit doesn't work, dress him up as a lawyer.


I am having a hard time coming up with bad advice. Is there something that I can do to keep the ideas flowing?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Lidh2l)
Profile   Post #: 833
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 6:18:21 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Well, if it sounds like a good idea when you are drunk, it is probably bad advice.  Keep the drinks flowing and you will keep the ideas flowing.  Remember quantity over quality.

I cannot decide what I want to be when I grow up.  Any suggestions?

Best,

LaMalinche


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 834
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/25/2006 8:55:55 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I am thinking of trying disposable contact lenses.
How long do they last?  And which brands are
the best?
 
Have two hot, bi-sexual female slaves come over and give you the full treatment,
dinner, a movie, a bath and lots of sex.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I can't seem to keep myself on a consistant sleep schedule because of insomnia. Is there any way I can treat my insomnia without drugs or alcohol?


< Message edited by Vendaval -- 5/25/2006 8:58:05 PM >

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 835
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2006 12:12:28 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am thinking of trying disposable contact lenses.
How long do they last?  And which brands are the best?


Well, the best way to find out if you even like disposable contact lenses is to take small pieces of plastic wrap and put them into your eyes. That way you can get a feel for them.

Disposable contacts last for years. There is really no need to throw them away, that is merely a marketing ploy.

The brands that are best? Well, I am not exactly sure so, if you can, go and borrow several other people's contact lenses and find out which brand you like. Of course, you can always test contact lense quality with a hammer.


I have to get my old car ready to be sold. Is there anything special I should do to it to insure it sells quickly?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 836
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2006 2:14:45 AM   
VandalHeart


Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

Well, if it sounds like a good idea when you are drunk, it is probably bad advice.  Keep the drinks flowing and you will keep the ideas flowing.  Remember quantity over quality.

I cannot decide what I want to be when I grow up.  Any suggestions?

Best,

LaMalinche




I wouldn't worry about it.  You've made it this far without growing up, why start now?  If you really want a career, though, go for professional sports referee (sp?).  That's the worst advice I can think of, right there.`

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 837
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2006 2:19:35 AM   
VandalHeart


Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I have to get my old car ready to be sold. Is there anything special I should do to it to insure it sells quickly?


Donate it to CfDDDs.  That's cars for Dee-Duh-Dees.  It's one of Carlos Mencia's most respected charities.  Make sure you take a sledgehammer to the engine block or a knife to the tires.  We don't want those people driving.  By the way, do not confuse cars for Dee-Duh-Dees with Cars for 'Tards.  Those people are rude, and I think they're making fun of the mentally challenged.

Maybe it's because the mentally challenged are retarded.  (Yes, I know, I'm going to burn in hell for this, spare me the lecture, it's a joke)

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 838
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2006 2:21:30 AM   
VandalHeart


Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline 		I have too many video games, and with my short attention span and busy work schedule, I don't think I'm going to be able to stick to one long enough to finish any of them.  Any advice?

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to VandalHeart)
Profile   Post #: 839
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/26/2006 2:27:45 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

I have too many video games, and with my short attention span and busy work schedule, I don't think I'm going to be able to stick to one long enough to finish any of them.  Any advice?


Use them as the pigons the next time that you go target shooting., it worked for Dick Cheney.  Those places that let you trade in games for movies or Music CD's are a rip off anyway.

I am starting my new career as a prostitute.  What is the best method of advertisement?  I was thinking about taking out a full page ad in the Watchtower.  Those poor souls really do need the money.

Best,

LaMalinche


< Message edited by LaMalinche -- 5/26/2006 2:28:52 AM >

(in reply to VandalHeart)
Profile   Post #: 840
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