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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 7:38:36 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		free toilet paper

I need a new car what should I get

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to SylentStryder)
Profile   Post #: 961
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 8:08:57 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		F-16 Fighter Jet. . . for when you need to be somewhere very very quickly.  Plus, it has the added feature of being able to bomb those people that piss you off.


I have to choose between the body of a 20 year old and the body of a forty year old. . . where should I keep it?

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 962
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 8:57:24 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		In the trunk of your car.  The smell will keep away the curious.

I have developed this open wound on my shoulder.  Should I be concerned about it spreading?


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 963
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 9:09:05 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		no, in fact you should pick at it untill it seeps and gets sore then scratch other places on your body as well
 
I'm bored... what should I do?

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 964
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 9:26:31 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:


 
I'm bored... what should I do?


Go down to the local police station and tell them you're a hooker and ask them if they can make change for a hundred dollar bill because you've got a client waiting.

Menopause is effecting me in ways I never dreamed off and I am to the point where I just want sex with anything that's smooth and girthy (doesn't even have to be alive at this point!) Should I just jump on everything I see or is there some sort of medication I can take to lessen my libido




_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 965
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 9:35:13 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Menopause is effecting me in ways I never dreamed off and I am to the point where I just want sex with anything that's smooth and girthy (doesn't even have to be alive at this point!) Should I just jump on everything I see or is there some sort of medication I can take to lessen my libido


Oh hell... go with it.  Attach dildos to every chair in your house, so no matter where you are, you can have something smooth and girthy. 
 
Now that I think about it... that's not such a bad idea... (I'm in that boat with you)
 
Thinking about attaching dildos on all the chairs in the house made me horny, I don't have permission to masturbate, and Master won't be home for 2 more days.  What should I do?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 966
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 9:38:03 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:


Oh hell... go with it.  Attach dildos to every chair in your house, so no matter where you are, you can have something smooth and girthy. 
 
Now that I think about it... that's not such a bad idea... (I'm in that boat with you)
 
Thinking about attaching dildos on all the chairs in the house made me horny, I don't have permission to masturbate, and Master won't be home for 2 more days.  What should I do?


Come over to my house! You can help me attach dildo's (or sumpin) to all the furniture.

I need $ for a plane ticket for Denise but I don't have any. What should I do?

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 967
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 9:38:29 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		<pulled cause Celeste beat me to it lol >

borrow the change I got from the local PD and start a collection....
 
I cant get the furniture humping idea out of my head... what should I do?


< Message edited by Reflectivesoul -- 6/1/2006 9:39:56 PM >

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 968
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 9:42:58 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		hump some furniture of course

I have no one to hump furniture anywhere I can watch how do I convince someone to let me visit

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 969
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 10:55:19 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Pose as a door to door steam cleaning salesman and offer to demonstrate the effectiveness of your product.

The wound on my shoulder is bleeding quite nicely now, but the smell of the blood is giving me the munchies... Any suggestions?


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 970
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 11:02:39 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have no one to hump furniture anywhere I can watch how do I convince someone to let me visit


Send the following email to them.

I cumand you bitch to neel b4 me n du as eye cumand! Inviet me 2 ur parti of fur nature hum ping. If u say know I wil ponish u bad.

That should wurk... I mean work.


The same guy, every single day, outside of work tries to hit me up for spare change. I keep telling him I go to work because I do not have spare change. He keeps bothering me. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 971
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 11:03:56 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The wound on my shoulder is bleeding quite nicely now, but the smell of the blood is giving me the munchies... Any suggestions?


Eat the scabs.

The same guy, every single day, outside of work tries to hit me up for spare change. I keep telling him I go to work because I do not have spare change. He keeps bothering me. What should I do?


_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 972
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 11:24:58 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

The same guy, every single day, outside of work tries to hit me up for spare change. I keep telling him I go to work because I do not have spare change. He keeps bothering me. What should I do?


Next time you walk by, hand him an employment application. He's probably qualified to work as CEO. They constantly ask for what you don't have and then bug the shit out of you to get it. It's perfect for him.

Is it ok to give peanuts to someone who's allergic just because it's fun to watch them swell?



< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 6/1/2006 11:25:26 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 973
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 11:25:36 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		first off ewwwww on the scabs thats nasty ... thank You Gauge for that wonderful mental pic.... *bleh* 
 
<edited cause Celeste beat me again... damnit woman muh ass is gettin sore! lol >
Yes, give them 5 bags of different kinds of nuts too so you can see which is the best sweller upper!

I kinda hit it off with a slave and he's adorable, what should I do now?

< Message edited by Reflectivesoul -- 6/1/2006 11:27:16 PM >

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 974
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 12:38:17 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I kinda hit it off with a slave and he's adorable, what should I do now?

If you hit 'it' off, he's not really male anymore, is he? So my advice, look into a sex change operation for both of you.

I'm getting suspicious: I'm finding dog hair in bed and we don't own a dog. Should I call Cheaters?

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 975
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 1:00:32 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



I'm getting suspicious: I'm finding dog hair in bed and we don't own a dog. Should I call Cheaters?



No.. just tell your wife to quit borrowing the neighbors dog and buy her one of her own ya cheap bastard.

Himself has been asleep for about 2 hours now. Should I wake him up to ask him if it's ok that I'm still awake?



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 976
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 1:02:04 AM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		yes, and when you wake him up make sure you use a nice cold glass of ice water, drizzle it down his face and back...
 
< edited cause she beat me to it again lol >

I went for gender reassignment and ended up with a 15" penis and now the girls wont talk to me, what should I do?

< Message edited by Reflectivesoul -- 6/2/2006 1:03:28 AM >

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 977
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 1:42:53 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I went for gender reassignment and ended up with a 15" penis and now the girls wont talk to me, what should I do?

(a) Never get an erection because it grows even bigger, and
(b) Stop wearing skirts.

My girlfriend refuses to wear panties and she keeps leaving damp spots on furniture.
Should her mother resort to plastic furniture covers?

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 978
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 1:56:24 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		No. . . use a rubber cork instead.  That way only she will have to deal with this problem.


I ate some bad mushrooms (they were really expensive but they tasted like dirt) and now the walls keep waving at me.  What should I do? 

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 979
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 6:29:06 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		don't be rude wave back

There is a bat in my roof what should I do

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 980
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