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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 7:43:26 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		CPR, and if that doesn't work, call an ambulance.

I'm hungry, but have no idea where my map of Europe is to find it.

Yours,


benji

PS:  That one may take some thought.  Sorry.

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 1001
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 7:54:33 AM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		not quite sure where hungary is either..damn public schools  (or was it my fondness for altered states of conciousness during my twenties ok and part of my thirties .....sheesh you people are tough!)

Go to the International House Of Panckes.  I think their placemat is a map!

I need to find a new job, but all I want to do is serve my Master and chat on the boards!  How can I come up with money to live?

_____________________________

"...... all that, a bag of chips AND a pickle!!!"

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1002
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 7:57:19 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Find a new Master, one that will whore you out online.  I hear there are a lot of those kicking around.

How can I break my CM addiction?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 1003
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 8:02:11 AM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		Easy, lock yourself in the bathroom with a lot of heroin...you'll forget all about CM and the forums.
I cannot seem to get myself to wash my dishes, what should I do?

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1004
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 8:05:57 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Punish yourself. One hour kneeling on rice.  Next time it's broken glass.

I can't seem...  brb.....

to break....  brb

my her....... brb

oin... brb

addiction....  What brb

Should I do...  brb

?

Yours,


brb


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 1005
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 8:05:59 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL
I cannot seem to get myself to wash my dishes, what should I do?

C


As soon as your done eating make sure you just lick em clean then put them right back into the cabinet.
Right and ready for your next meal.

There's this doggie running wild through the collarme message boards...what should we do with him?

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 1006
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 8:11:11 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Pet him, beat him, and do anything he desires.

Again, heroin issue.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 1007
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 8:11:14 AM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		tie him up and beat him with a rolled up newpaper!

I am considering taking the doggie's advice and am going to ask my Master if he can whore me out to pay the bills.  What kind of wine should I serve with dinner?

_____________________________

"...... all that, a bag of chips AND a pickle!!!"

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 1008
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 8:14:11 AM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		Forget the wine...join Benji in the bathroom with his baggie of heroin.

My son refuses to clean the rabbit cages what should I do?

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 1009
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 8:28:46 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline
kill the rabbits butcher them and then make him eat rabbit stew until he can't eat no more

Now I have a craving for rabbit stew.  Any suggestions on a good recipe?

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 1010
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 10:31:07 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Now I have a craving for rabbit stew.  Any suggestions on a good recipe?


Yes, I have got one but it calls for two hares and not many people like hare in their stew.


I let my oldest son drive the car for the first time today. He doesn't have a license. Should I let him do it again or not?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 1011
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/4/2006 1:37:28 AM   
ShreveportMaster


Posts: 899
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Dallas, Tx
Status: offline 		yes, but only if he has a large box of donuts to bribe the cops with if he gets pulled over.


a slave I know is thinking of getting a perm, but wants to save money...should I tell her to go French Kiss a light socket?

_____________________________

"And to sooth the Bosk, there was found a Singing Cowboy. To soothe the Cowboy, a kajira is needed."

Riders of Gor
Book 37, Pg 298 ;-)

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1012
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/4/2006 3:58:16 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		What are you, a sadist.  Sheesh. . . everyone knows that for a cheap perm you stick pennies in the light socket.  French Kissing it just makes your teeth extra clean because the electricity repels plaque and lets you save on money to the dentist.

Just my 2 cents. . . and I am handing them over right now.

I worked all night and drank 4 Red Bulls and 3 pots of coffee.  Now I can't sleep.  What should I do?

That heroin looks good Benji.  If I throw a ball will you drop it out of your mouth?


_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to ShreveportMaster)
Profile   Post #: 1013
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/4/2006 5:56:04 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Take part in a ‘Touch the truck’ style TV quiz where you get to keep the truck if you stay awake longer than the others touching it.

I’m in a dispute with my neighbour over an ancient covenant that says he can build a McDonalds franchise at the end of his garden if he wishes. How can I fight this?

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1014
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/4/2006 9:05:39 AM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Tell him you will build a Burger King and always undersale him. If you run yours in the nude you will get enough tips to make up for the low prices and he will be out of business in no time.

There is a dead mouse in my bedroom and I am afraid of dead mice. How do I get it out of there???

_____________________________

I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 1015
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/4/2006 9:57:35 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

There is a dead mouse in my bedroom and I am afraid of dead mice. How do I get it out of there???


Burn the house down.  Once the mouse is reduced to ashes, you'll be able to remove it.
 
I just told someone to burn their house down, and now I'm being questioned as an accessory to arson.  What should I tell the police?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to missgiveNTake)
Profile   Post #: 1016
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/4/2006 10:21:10 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I just told someone to burn their house down, and now I'm being questioned as an accessory to arson.  What should I tell the police?


Tell them there was a dead mouse in the house. This happens all the time and I am sure you will be released from custody... after you post bail.


I think I should be a lawyer. Is there any way to do that without having to go through all that silly school?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1017
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/4/2006 10:29:15 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		To become a lawyer all you really have to do is add the words ‘my client’ to the start of every sentence you speak. You also have to join a bar club, I hear there is usually at least one in every town.

My neighbour’s kids keep annoying me with the endless noise they make. How can I fix this problem?

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1018
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/4/2006 10:31:07 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		lots of duct tape

My neighbors keep calling the cops on me for walking around my house in the nude and all the body hair they find distrubing.  What should I do?

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 1019
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/4/2006 10:33:39 AM   
Pleasureprincess


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/18/2004
Status: offline 		You are in your own home. they need to stop watching you the perverts! LOL
You are in your house so they should just mind their business.


_____________________________

Something wicked is in my hand... do you know how I use it?

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 1020
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