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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/6/2006 10:01:05 PM   
VandalHeart


Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline 		Force feed them a Personalized Protein Shake...if you know what I mean.

My brain hurts from trying to make interesting posts.  What can I do?

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 1061
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/6/2006 10:07:32 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Take a whole bunch of No-Doze and keep writing all night.
 
The radio is playing some hot dance music but if I start dancing
this late, the neighbors will complain.  What should I do?
 
Vendaval


quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart
My brain hurts from trying to make interesting posts.  What can I do?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to VandalHeart)
Profile   Post #: 1062
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/6/2006 10:25:04 PM   
VandalHeart


Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline 		Go knock on their door naked and invite them over to dance

I TOOK TOO MUCH NO DOZE AND NOW I CAN'T STOP TYPING AND TALKING AND THINKING DEAR GOD THE THOUGHTS I KEEP THINKING BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE CONNECTIONS IN MY BRAIN THAT STILL HURTS AND NOW I WANT TO PLAY SOME VIDEO GAMES BUT I CAN'T DECIDE WHICH ONE TO PLAY BESIDES IT TAKES TOO LONG TO LOAD THE GAMES AND NOW I THINK I'LL GO DRINK SOME OSDA YOU DON'T THINK THAT MUCH CAFFEINNE IS BAD FOR YOU DO YOU DID I SPELL CAFFEINNE CORRECTLY OH CRAP I ThiNK I'm gOnNa cRAsh now...

zzzzZZZzzz...zzzZZZzzz...zzzZZZzzz...whuh...huh?  What should I do now?

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1063
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 12:43:42 AM   
ShreveportMaster


Posts: 899
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Dallas, Tx
Status: offline 		Eat some chocolate covered expresso beans to counteract the effects of the crash.

How do you stop a dog from barking in the fronst seat of your car?

_____________________________

"And to sooth the Bosk, there was found a Singing Cowboy. To soothe the Cowboy, a kajira is needed."

Riders of Gor
Book 37, Pg 298 ;-)

(in reply to VandalHeart)
Profile   Post #: 1064
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 1:38:36 AM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		Strap the dog to the roof of the car.

Its 4:37 am and i cant sleep.  I have errands to do in a few hours.  What do i do?


_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to ShreveportMaster)
Profile   Post #: 1065
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 9:56:21 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx

Its 4:37 am and i cant sleep. I have errands to do in a few hours. What do i do?

Just call in late; your boss won't mind. In fact, he suggested you not come in at all.

My boss is sexually harrassing me. What should I tell her?

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)
Profile   Post #: 1066
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 10:57:20 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My boss is sexually harrassing me. What should I tell her?


Ask her if her feet smell. When she says no, then say, "Well then it must be your stanky snatch." and walk away calmly.


I think I need some psychological help but I don't want to go to a therapist. Is there any way I can acomplish that?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 1067
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 12:43:37 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Post all your problems, worries and concerns here on the boards and all the wonderful people will give you very good sane, helpful advice. LOL


I have two dates on the same night. I like both guys alot, what should i do?

< Message edited by akisha -- 6/7/2006 12:45:20 PM >

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1068
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 12:46:35 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

My boss is sexually harrassing me. What should I tell her?


Ask her if her feet smell. When she says no, then say, "Well then it must be your stanky snatch." and walk away calmly.




snatch???  did he just say *snatch*???

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1069
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 1:41:29 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

I have two dates on the same night. I like both guys alot, what should i do?



Pretend you have a split personality and go on a double date...

I just got off the phone with my mother and my beer is no longer cold...  should I blame her?


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 1070
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 2:20:30 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, call her back and bitch that she called and talked to long and made your beer warm. Tell her she can only call at specific times and to always ask First if you have an open beer or anything else that will get warm or cold while she wants to talk to you. If you do she either can call back or wait patiently on the phone until you are finished said item. Then and only then will you speak to her.


ok i went out with both guys at the same time, they hit it off and now want to only date each other. How can i make them want me again?



_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 1071
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 2:37:14 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ok i went out with both guys at the same time, they hit it off and now want to only date each other. How can i make them want me again?


Tell them that you were once a man.


I keep hearing a knocking sound when I apply my breaks to my car. Is this serious and if you think it is, is there a way to fix it?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 1072
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 2:59:30 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Go back and hit the guy in the trunk till he stops moving, that way he'll quit knocking. Try not to make alot of blood splatter though as it's hard to clean up. Also blockade the body so it doesn't slide around when you hit the brakes.


I have an hour of work still but I don't want to be here. everyone else already left. what should I do?


sighs i really need to learn to spell

< Message edited by akisha -- 6/7/2006 3:00:22 PM >

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1073
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 4:03:53 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have an hour of work still but I don't want to be here. everyone else already left. what should I do?


Go masturbate on your boss' desk.


I am going on my first vacation in seven years next week. I am wondering if I should take anything along with me to do... just in case it rains.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 1074
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 7:55:33 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Sure, take a bunch of stuff you need to organize with you,
that way you can multi-task while laying out on the beach.
 
I want to take a train trip across the country.  Should I book
tickets or just hop on the freight trains in the yard?
 
Vendaval

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
I am going on my first vacation in seven years next week. I am wondering if I should take anything along with me to do... just in case it rains.


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1075
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 8:13:27 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I want to take a train trip across the country.  Should I book
tickets or just hop on the freight trains in the yard?


Neither.  Get yourself a horse and, once the train gets out of the switching yard and out in the open, race your horse alongside it and jump into the first open boxcar.  It's really cool, and super easy to do.  You'll love it.  Then, once you're inside the boxcar, you'll find all sorts of interesting... ummmm... people (?) to make the trip more exciting.
 
According to a certain someone, my grammar is slipping.  How can I correct this problem?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 1076
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/7/2006 11:12:33 PM   
ShreveportMaster


Posts: 899
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Dallas, Tx
Status: offline 		 tell grampa to hold her up!

I have a friend who's falling in love with a skunk, I think this really stinks. What should I tell her?

_____________________________

"And to sooth the Bosk, there was found a Singing Cowboy. To soothe the Cowboy, a kajira is needed."

Riders of Gor
Book 37, Pg 298 ;-)

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1077
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 3:20:48 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Tell her to make Skunk Marsala. . . just like on Iron Chef.  It is so disgusting that only the most expensive restraunts make it. . . without a trace of skunk in it.  Trust me.

How do I prevent getting brain freeze from eating Ice Cream?

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to ShreveportMaster)
Profile   Post #: 1078
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 3:25:12 AM   
ShreveportMaster


Posts: 899
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Dallas, Tx
Status: offline 		have a lobotomy first.

Hmm, now my friend wants to go out for Skunk marsala, how do I get LaMalinche to pay the check since bringing up the dish in question?

_____________________________

"And to sooth the Bosk, there was found a Singing Cowboy. To soothe the Cowboy, a kajira is needed."

Riders of Gor
Book 37, Pg 298 ;-)

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1079
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 4:16:38 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Well. . . first start by brushing her hair.  Then paint her nails.  Then you can walk her labs.  Change the oil in her car. . . and the filter.  Next, wash the windows.  Wash her dishes.  Mop her floors.  Massage her back.  Massage her feet.  Make her a coconut creme pie.  Feed her the coconut creme pie.  Peel her a grape.  Buy her a new outfit to go to dinner in.  Fuel her car.  Drive to pick up your friend.  Hold towels while she takes advantage of your friend.  Hand out towels afterwards.  Serve pre-dinner cocktails.  Drive us all to the restaurant. 

I ask for so little.


How do I stay awake at work?



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to ShreveportMaster)
Profile   Post #: 1080
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