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RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 2:17:49 PM

angelikaJ

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The way Auntie Katie presents her relationship with the slave she brings to camp is not mentioned anywhere.
Perhaps the OP would please provide a definitive answer, if he is aware of it.

If she presents him as just her help then I don't see any kind of issue provided he is allowed to dress appropriately.

If she identifies him as her slave in public and /or clearly demontrates their special dynamic then I can understand why people would have an issue with it, especially in the presence of minors.

But the original post is simply to vague to judge it either way imoho.

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Post #: 61

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 2:18:28 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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joey,

what a fabulous opportunity!!! this slave encourages you to go and make a fantastic impression on everyone---ESPECIALLY the kids. what a great opportunity for them to witness something they probably don't get a chance to view very often... that there are folks out there who enjoy being of service to others---not because they are obligated by a marriage contract or their religious dogma or a fat wad of cash afterwards---but because it fulfills them and is the sort of thing they shine at.

Best wishes!!!

(in reply to joey46)

Post #: 62

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 3:17:54 PM

joey46

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/19/2009
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Thank you to everyone who has responded. I really appreciate the thought you all have put into the issue(s).

By the time I had read all 60 or so comments, I realized that it is not something I am going to do, certainly not with the level of knowledge of the situation I have at the moment. It really helped to read each point of view and feel my own reactions as I read.

I do find myself wondering why it would be a unique problem for a 13 year old to know that Aunt Katie has a partner who is turned on by being controlled by Aunt Katie. Thinking about it now, is that different from his being attracted to Aunt Katie for whatever reason? I mean, is there any reason that wouldn't make a 13, 15, 18, year old not at least a little turned off by the idea of their 60 year old aunt being sexual in any form? And, for me at least, that is reason enough not to put a teen ager in that situation.

Sexuality is not a secret. That different people are turned on by different things also is no secret. I believe that age appropriate information on these topics is merely honest.

However, what excites specific people and specifically what they do, is appropriate to be kept private. I remember vividly one of my sons explaining that he understood that gay and straight people all had sex and he knew how it worked, he just didn't want it pushed in his face. Private and secret are two different things.

And yes, I too wonder about the family being comfortable with Katie's guest being referred to as her slave, with how positive being the full-time servant would be, and with parents being willing to have their children waited on, among other things.

Oh, by the way, the 13 year old is a boy.

Anyway, thanks all. Your posts were vital in my feeling what I actually I am going to do.

joey

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 63

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 3:20:12 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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After reading the first 4 pages of this thread, it all sounds like much ado about nothing. What's the big deal?

The OP really isn't clear about how much disclosure is actually going on. Things could be very open, or very subdued. That would make a big difference. But even if they are very open about the BDSM dynamic (e.g. she openly calls him her "slave"), it sounds like this would be the child's 13th time seeing it, so if there were any mental scarring that was going to take place, it has probably already occurred. But I don't know of many people who make D/s this overt when attending family functions.

Frankly, I have been in situations like this PLENTY of times, and I don't see why people are making it out to be a big deal. It's not like she is going to be dragging him around by a cock leash or anything.

For example, I have been to plenty of family holiday gatherings with a Domme that I used to date/serve. I would serve her, but nobody else. But she usually ordered me to help serve the meals and to help with the clean-up. So effectively, I did serve everyone, though I was only obedient to her. To the rest of her family, I appeared to be a very loving, doting boyfriend who was very courteous, and who always helped clean up. What's wrong with that?

My last Domme had 2 young children (ages 7 and 9). I served in their household 3-4 times per week. They saw me mow the lawn, shovel snow, wash dishes, cook dinner, bring groceries, mop floors, etc. When their mom got stuck at work, I was even authorized to pick them up from school. Yet they never saw anything sexual going on. I never wore fetish attire in front of them. Frankly, they loved me. We would play games, and they were always happy to see me when I came over. Was this exposing children to kink? I don't think so, but I'm sure there are some who would argue differently. To be clear, the term "sub" or "slave" was never used in public. The children merely thought that "he works for my mommy". That was the only answer they were given or needed.

My suggestion would be for the OP to take advantage of the trip and to enjoy himself. It sounds like a lot of fun. I would probably want to gain clarification about who I was to take orders from, though. I would be uncomfortable in a situation where I had to take orders from anyone and everyone. But if you only have to obey your Domme, then what is the problem? Sounds like a great time.

(Oops! Sorry Joey. When I started writing, you had not yet posted your last reply. Sorry to hear that you've decided to not participate)

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 6/22/2010 3:23:28 PM >

(in reply to joey46)

Post #: 64

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 3:22:48 PM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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My initial reaction was somewhat negative until I re-read the OP and reflected on conversations I had with a Mistress friend of mine (not here in Australia) who had her male slave living with her and her two children. They never played or did anything in the least kinky when the children were around and reserved that for a locked area which was the playroom but was officially known as "Mom's Conference Room". The only sign of the slavery was a surgical steel flat chain the lad wore ostensibly as personal jewellery, but was the collar. There was no down side as far as the kidletts went and the upside was they grew up in a home where the nice man who worked for mommy showed care and spoiled her after a hard day in her landscaping business where he also worked. Something so many children don't see or have this as an example of good manners and genuine caring.

My vote would be to go and be the best damned Butler, Dish Washer and General Handy Man any of them could imagine.

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Post #: 65

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 3:44:40 PM

LafayetteLady

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From: Northern New Jersey
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On the whole, I'm undecided about the whole "kids being around thing." What truly bothered me was this...

quote:

They don't have to be polite to a guest, or set an extra place at the table, or share hot shower water with an extra person.

This does truly indicate that "Aunt Katie" isn't simply bringing a friend. She is bringing a friend that they have no need to show any courtesy to, who will not eat with them, and who will not be entitled to a hot shower, and all are on board with this. BTW, they don't need to set an extra place? I'm assuming and hoping that at least he would be entitled to eat in the kitchen and not have to wait for their leftovers.

While if done properly he "could" have been viewed as the greatest house guest, these 3 things indicate he isn't a house guest at all, and the fact that these children would be shown it is ok to not be polite to "lessers" is appalling.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 66

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 3:54:15 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

On the whole, I'm undecided about the whole "kids being around thing." What truly bothered me was this...

quote:

They don't have to be polite to a guest, or set an extra place at the table, or share hot shower water with an extra person.

This does truly indicate that "Aunt Katie" isn't simply bringing a friend. She is bringing a friend that they have no need to show any courtesy to, who will not eat with them, and who will not be entitled to a hot shower, and all are on board with this. BTW, they don't need to set an extra place? I'm assuming and hoping that at least he would be entitled to eat in the kitchen and not have to wait for their leftovers.

Yeah, that part does make it sound a bit over the top. No common courtesy or hot showers? C'mon, that's a bit ridiculous.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 67

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 3:54:18 PM

dragonseeker

Posts: 554
Status: offline

I personally think that children should not be exposed to our lifestyle in the fullest. However, most children/teenagers DON'T want to know what their parents do behind closed doors anyhow. Then again it all depends on the family and the person. If I always wore a dog collar cause it matched my outfit and lifestyle, then most likely kids or people would not think twice about it. If I all of a sudden started wearing that same collar while wearing jeans and t-shirt, and had never in the past worn anything but a dainty little chain necklace with a charm.... then everyone would notice. I live 24/7 with my Sire and have a son that is 10. We manage to keep our D/s status in check and still not let him know of our kink. I serve my Sire everything, but my son doesn't see anything wrong with it. My Sire however doesn't make me crawl around the house naked, calling me bitch or slut, nor does he believe in exposing my son or any child to that side of our kink. So if you go there and it's seen as you are there as her personal butler, and will be treated as such, then go for it and be the best you can be. However if you are gonna sit on the floor, eat from a dog bowl while naked, and be fucked in the livingroom in front of the family, then I would suggest not to go. Even at 13, they are still kids.... no matter how much they want to be adults.

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Post #: 68

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 4:48:08 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
The solution here is very simple. If you aren't comfortable with it, don't go. Regardless of how many people here tell you they think it is fine, or think it isn't fine, YOU are the one who has to be comfortable with the situation.

+1

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Post #: 69

Over the Top - 6/22/2010 5:06:48 PM

joey46

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Joined: 8/19/2009
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Yes, those particulars caught my attention too.

< Message edited by joey46 -- 6/22/2010 5:14:51 PM >

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Post #: 70

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 5:55:38 PM

SirsJewel

Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
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i see your concerns quite clearly and would have them myself. You need to ask how much of the dominates lifestyle is known to all or anyone coming there,and to what degree do you serve them. You are entitled to your limits with children around as stated and sounds like the Domme is a bit showy with her subs having had many over the years do this service. You as a slave cannot say No,but you sure can word things to make you comfortable in mixed aged situations, i would for sure, let U/us know how it goes please, i wish you a great experience ~ jewels

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Post #: 71

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 6:01:05 PM

Aileen1968

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Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Shore is around my children and they see me do the chores, get him things and cater to him. There are ways to service someone openly and not cross boundaries or raise eyebrows.

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Post #: 72

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 6:05:01 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
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From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I would listen to your instincts.

Nothing needs to be sexual, just do what you are told (within limits, boundaries/SANITY!)

My landlady is a control freak. She is 88 years old. Smart as a whip. There is no sex there (nor would I invite it). I get to have my own personal space, I pay rent, I provide food, SO I CAN DO MY THING THAT I DO. That thing that has an indefinable quality tugging at the fabric of existence.

Moving along.

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As your desire is, so is your will.
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Post #: 73

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 6:20:00 PM

SirsJewel

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i might add that i have served Master in a mixed age setting, with vanillas who were aware i was a slave, my daughters who are in thier 20s and my two grand daughters present, There need be no sexuality present,just attentiveness,but He does not have me openly kneel etc. i simply sit to His right,wait to be spoken to and never take my eye off Him for His need to be met. Ask a few more questions to your dominate to settle your neves than go with your gut ~ jewels

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God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

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Post #: 74

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 7:11:30 PM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
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Limits are limits. They are neither fuzzy, hard, or soft -- which are called preferences.

(in reply to joey46)

Post #: 75

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/22/2010 7:39:16 PM

cassandria

Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
Status: offline

I'm with Beth on this - what a fabulous opportunity, go and serve, sort things out along the way if there are any questions or concerns. Make your Mistress happy, meet her family, enjoy your time - do your best, make an incredible impression!

~~~

In some societies, it's NORMAL for children to see their mother in service to their father. Or any woman, to any man. Where I've been, that wouldn't raise an eyebrow - why is it so wrong for a young boy to see a relationship where one person caters to the needs of another???

~~~

Whacking him around, fetishwear, yeah - the odds are , the 13 yr old boy, he'll be squicked out. This is where "protecting the innocence of children" comes into play, in terms of sexual things.

But simple service? c'mon.

(in reply to aldompdx)

Post #: 76

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/23/2010 3:25:13 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
Don't you? The entire group is aware Aunt Katie is kinky and has a slave.

Where did the op say that? Holly, I think you misread it. The fact that she's been bringing helpful guests does not mean they are out to the youngins and the old folks, or the inbetween ones.

If they don't know he's a sub, then he's just the world's greatest houseguest.

quote:

ORIGINAL...

She says that she has been bringing slaves with her to the cottage for years and that everyone loves it. Long ago they just wrote it off as another thing that crazy Aunt Katie does and they've looked for the positive.
He said "slave" as opposed to guest or hired help.

If Aunt Katie DID bring the hired help or a guest, one would assume the family would not write it off as another thing crazy Aunt Katie does. This tells me very clearly they are aware of the BDSM dynamic.

Read it again, Holly, she told him that she has been bringing slaves for years and that everyone loves it. NOWHERE does it say she told them they were slaves. It is possible that what her relatives have experienced was an extremely helpful guest.

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Post #: 77

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/23/2010 5:07:03 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
Don't you? The entire group is aware Aunt Katie is kinky and has a slave.

Where did the op say that? Holly, I think you misread it. The fact that she's been bringing helpful guests does not mean they are out to the youngins and the old folks, or the inbetween ones.

If they don't know he's a sub, then he's just the world's greatest houseguest.

quote:

ORIGINAL...

She says that she has been bringing slaves with her to the cottage for years and that everyone loves it. Long ago they just wrote it off as another thing that crazy Aunt Katie does and they've looked for the positive.
He said "slave" as opposed to guest or hired help.

If Aunt Katie DID bring the hired help or a guest, one would assume the family would not write it off as another thing crazy Aunt Katie does. This tells me very clearly they are aware of the BDSM dynamic.

Read it again, Holly, she told him that she has been bringing slaves for years and that everyone loves it. NOWHERE does it say she told them they were slaves. It is possible that what her relatives have experienced was an extremely helpful guest.

His quote:

quote:

She says that she has been bringing slaves with her to the cottage for years and that everyone loves it. Long ago they just wrote it off as another thing that crazy Aunt Katie does and they've looked for the positive

Why would they see it as something "crazy Aunt Katie does" if they saw the person as a friend, employee, etc?

Sorry...i got the impression from the first post and the OPs discomfort that the family was definitely aware. If they were not, i doubt he would have the issue he has.

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Post #: 78

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/23/2010 5:14:50 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
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From: Texas
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::snipped::

quote:

ORIGINAL: joey46

...and they've looked for the positive. They don't have to do dishes, or make beds, or clean up, or cook unless they want to. They don't have to be polite to a guest, or set an extra place at the table, or share hot shower water with an extra person.

If the positive is teaching children to be rude and indolent, I'd hate to see the negative. BDSM or not, this would be a complete pass for me.

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Post #: 79

RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? - 6/23/2010 5:31:51 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Nope cause it's STILL a collar, who cares what it LOOKS like, just like this guy LOOKING like a House Keeper or a Butler isn't good enough for you either because what he IS is a submissive and that is just wrong to do in front of a child.

The Collar is a Collar and it is worn in front of your children how is this not exposing them to your kink?

QSM

qsm,

You are derailing this thread.
It is ironic that you call people out about being "holier than thou" quite often, while doing the exact same thing in the calling out.
This is an interesting topic.
I see both sides of the issue and wish the OP would clarify the situation.
But your sniping at Holly is taking away from an otherwise interesting discussion. (imo)

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Post #: 80

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