quote:

ORIGINAL: mysecret40

Very often when talking to Doms or just people in D/S, they ask, well what kind of sub are you? And there are so many different styles....one said I was a pleasure sub, one said I was a husbandry sub, one said I was a take in hand,...so I decided to do some reading and research. Came across a site for something called a "High" End submissive. I've never heard this one before...has anyone else? http://www.steel-door.com/High_End_Submissive.html this is the site....secret

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirCumsSlut

quote:

ORIGINAL: mysecret40

Very often when talking to Doms or just people in D/S, they ask, well what kind of sub are you? And there are so many different styles....one said I was a pleasure sub, one said I was a husbandry sub, one said I was a take in hand,...so I decided to do some reading and research. Came across a site for something called a "High" End submissive. I've never heard this one before...has anyone else? http://www.steel-door.com/High_End_Submissive.html this is the site....secret

Have heard of it before, have been told it refers to subs that are looking for rich Doms..........they want a sugardaddy basically

quote:

ORIGINAL: willowheart
High End means the "higher end" of the spectrum. 

quote:

. A bit more pensive, more afraid, always comparing, pondering, trying to copy "normal" people in order to protect myself and hide...

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I dont get what that article has to do with a particular kind of submissive. It sounds like its describing a dysfunctional personality to me. (Btw we are all dysfunctional in different areas *no ones perfect*, so the liklihood of someone being able to relate to that article in some way or other is high).

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
It seems to me the main focus of the submissive type is the aspect that submission is a compulsion, not something openly understood and acknowledged and the resulting defense mechanism to that strange compulsion. I'm not sure the article goes into enough detail on that part, but it's almost like a hypnotic suggestion or feeling like being under a spell. It's not a real intrinsic desire on the part of the sub to submit, but rather something that is triggered with certain looks, voice inflection, body language etc....

quote:

I don't know why the writer named it "High end" which seems to imply that it is somehow a higher or better form of submission. Which in turn causes others to resent the implication and wonder "what the hell is so high about it?" But regardless of the name, for me, it resonates.  Don't know what I'm going to do about it, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: starymists

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
It seems to me the main focus of the submissive type is the aspect that submission is a compulsion, not something openly understood and acknowledged and the resulting defense mechanism to that strange compulsion. I'm not sure the article goes into enough detail on that part, but it's almost like a hypnotic suggestion or feeling like being under a spell. It's not a real intrinsic desire on the part of the sub to submit, but rather something that is triggered with certain looks, voice inflection, body language etc....

I don't believe it is a compulsion at all. Most, if not all of the High End submissives I've known are fully functional submissives, fully functional people. But when they get into relationships, its easy for them to loose their sense of security as they start to trust another. Just as there are different types of people, there are different types of personalities...having a different personality doesn't mean you can't have natural submissive tendancies...just means you need a different kind of care.

quote:

I don't know why the writer named it "High end" which seems to imply that it is somehow a higher or better form of submission. Which in turn causes others to resent the implication and wonder "what the hell is so high about it?" But regardless of the name, for me, it resonates.  Don't know what I'm going to do about it, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

It's not meant to imply that its a higher or better form of submission...more like a higher need for emotional support, a higher need for things like security and comitment than what would typically be expected for another person. Just as Dominant and submissive are descriptors, high end/high need is just another descriptor. Just one that isn't frequently utilized.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
I'm going by what's in this article. I think what you are describing is something else. This particular article specifically says it's a compulsion.  "When in the presence of an 'expressing' Dominant male or female this submissive will feel 'compelled' to respond. This is not a thought or voluntary choice. The best way I can describe it is on a primal or instinctive level. When I say 'expressing Dominant' I am describing any individual who is in the midst of a strongly emissive Dominant event."

The article then goes on to explain how the internet makes a high end/high need submissive more vulnerable to that which they fear. But it never really talks about what it is they are hiding. Because I've know a number of people like this and because I've done the reading on this subject *be happy to provide other articles discussing this in further depth for anyone interested* I'm aware of what it is they are hiding. And that is an intensive vulnerability, an intensive need for reasurance, amongst other things...which was the frame of reference of my original post

quote:

ORIGINAL: willowheart

nope. High End means the "higher end" of the spectrum. Not High Maintanance !!!!!
I'm a H.E.s. I'm Not a "volunteer" in this. I am very suseptible to many Dominant "voices". I cave-in --  in spite of my better judgement, not because i want to, it's because i "have" to. I used to hate myself for it. It's as if I was walking around in this flock of sheep, but i was the one who never seemed to simply run with the pack. A bit more pensive, more afraid, always comparing, pondering, trying to copy "normal" people in order to protect myself and hide...

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirCumsSlut

quote:

ORIGINAL: mysecret40

Very often when talking to Doms or just people in D/S, they ask, well what kind of sub are you? And there are so many different styles....one said I was a pleasure sub, one said I was a husbandry sub, one said I was a take in hand,...so I decided to do some reading and research. Came across a site for something called a "High" End submissive. I've never heard this one before...has anyone else? http://www.steel-door.com/High_End_Submissive.html this is the site....secret

Have heard of it before, have been told it refers to subs that are looking for rich Doms..........they want a sugardaddy basically

SirCumsSlut, please do me the favor of checking out the site and definition before saying something so hurtful?

quote:

The article spends a great deal of time talking about the masks that a High End/High Need submissive wears without really talking about what is going on beneath the masks. As the article states, the mask is really an attempt at self-protection. It is an attempt that allows the high end/high need submissive remain in control of him or herself. But underneath the mask is the dual fear of being discovered for who and what they are, coupled with a deep desire to set that part of themselves free. "Their greatest fear and desire is to be recognized, properly identified."

quote:

ORIGINAL: flowered
I wear a mask to the outside world that is of a very friendly but very flipant and sarcastic person...I am naturally friendly but the other parts are all from insecurities...but, my fear is not that beneath the mask will be recognized, but that it wont.

But I did object to the premise that a high end or high need submissive doesn't have a choice to submit, because we all have that choice. I also tend to think that when the choice is made to submit for a high end/high need submissive, bad things happen if the Dominant involved doesn't know what he/she is dealing with and/or doesn't know how to address those insecurities in a way that assists the submissive feel nurtured and safe in that domination