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Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:06:52 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline 		Mind you this is a bit more complex of a query than it may seem. Obviously we all enjoy being submissive to the extent that we receive gratification from interacting with dommes. However, if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:12:51 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I don't see relationships as "vanilla" or anything else. I simply get involved with men who I am attracted to. I've never been attracted to submissve personality men, only dominant men...whether they've heard of bdsm or not. I am fulfilled either way. It's not about kink for me. It's about the personality of the man I'm with.

(in reply to submissivemale22)
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RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:20:38 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline 		apparently you can't edit the original post...

i have tried to clarify what i was asking in this thread:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3276652/tm.htm

please join us.

< Message edited by submissivemale22 -- 6/24/2010 9:08:43 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:23:00 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22 However, if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?


Yes. Absolutely. No question about it. I would give quite a lot for that to be possible.


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In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


(in reply to submissivemale22)
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RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:24:04 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		OP, that's like asking whether or not I'd choose to be someone else, if I had the option. No, I wouldn't.

I LOVE being myself!
 


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(in reply to submissivemale22)
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RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:24:11 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I am equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships. Your presumption that we have to be either kinky OR vanilla is erroneous. I am both and neither and I am fulfilled because I love the person I am with for who they are.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to submissivemale22)
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RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:26:46 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I am equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships. Your presumption that we have to be either kinky OR vanilla is erroneous. I am both and neither and I am fulfilled because I love the person I am with for who they are.


awesome for you. im not presuming anything on a universal basis. many people (and i would venture to say the majority of this sites users) don't share your balance.

(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:28:41 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I disagree. 
I don't see relationships as nilla or bdsm.
Personality-wise, I am always attracted to men who are dominantly wired.  Kink is play.  Dominant is personality.
I am perfectly happy in a relationship, even when the ds has dwindled.  If my mate became ill or otherwise did not want to engage in bdsm I would still enjoy being in the relationship because I am with him, the person, the man.  I would have gone completely non bdsm-less nilla had my x asked. It isn't the kink, it is the relationship that fulfills me.

(in reply to submissivemale22)
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RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:29:39 PM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I enjoy being able to be myself. It's such a relief being with someone who not only understands me but fulfills a lot of my deep-seated needs like no one else ever has. That being said, there are some needs he won't ever meet. I have wished sometimes that I was "normal" because I've met a couple of really nice guys who would probably be inclined to have a serious relationship with me, if I was interested, but they don't have "it." They're about as vanilla as you can get, and I can feel nothing for them but friendship. Whichever way I choose to live, it seems I won't be able to have everything I want, so for now, I choose to do what makes me happiest and try not to worry about what I might be missing out on.

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

(in reply to submissivemale22)
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RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:31:27 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I am equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships. Your presumption that we have to be either kinky OR vanilla is erroneous. I am both and neither and I am fulfilled because I love the person I am with for who they are.


awesome for you. im not presuming anything on a universal basis. many people (and i would venture to say the majority of this sites users) don't share your balance.


and this is relevant to your question how? You have three posters disagreeing with that, it might be that your unfounded presumption just isn't correct, maybe?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to submissivemale22)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:31:52 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I disagree. 
I don't see relationships as nilla or bdsm.
Personality-wise, I am always attracted to men who are dominantly wired.  Kink is play.  Dominant is personality.
I am perfectly happy in a relationship, even when the ds has dwindled.  If my mate became ill or otherwise did not want to engage in bdsm I would still enjoy being in the relationship because I am with him, the person, the man.  I would have gone completely non bdsm-less nilla had my x asked. It isn't the kink, it is the relationship that fulfills me.


perhaps i should have qualified my comments better: im posing this specifically to people who do see relationships "as nilla or bdsm"

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:33:18 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I am equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships. Your presumption that we have to be either kinky OR vanilla is erroneous. I am both and neither and I am fulfilled because I love the person I am with for who they are.


awesome for you. im not presuming anything on a universal basis. many people (and i would venture to say the majority of this sites users) don't share your balance.


and this is relevant to your question how? You have three posters disagreeing with that, it might be that your unfounded presumption just isn't correct, maybe?


its relevant to my question, because those are the opinions i am seeking.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:34:49 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		People answer the question that you asked, not the one you wanted to.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to submissivemale22)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:38:22 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

People answer the question that you asked, not the one you wanted to.


not really. my question (which stands unedited) was, "...if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?"

I apologize for not being clearer- and thank the people who already replied for their participation- but i thought it followed that i was seeking the opinion of those incapable of being equally fulfilled.

< Message edited by submissivemale22 -- 6/24/2010 8:40:38 PM >

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:44:20 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

People answer the question that you asked, not the one you wanted to.


, "...if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?"




If by vanilla you mean a relationship that doesn't have a ds dynamic, I would have to say no, because I do not think it would be as fulfilling to me.

(in reply to submissivemale22)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:46:32 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Nope, no vanilla for me.  I had to wait years before becoming involved in the BDSM community.  Now that I'm here I am NOT going back.  

(in reply to submissivemale22)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:47:31 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

People answer the question that you asked, not the one you wanted to.


, "...if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?"




If by vanilla you mean a relationship that doesn't have a ds dynamic, I would have to say no, because I do not think it would be as fulfilling to me.


marie.... you are killing me. that disregards my entire hypothetical.

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:48:50 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Nope, no vanilla for me.  I had to wait years before becoming involved in the BDSM community.  Now that I'm here I am NOT going back.  


erghhhhh... ok, clearly i got a little lazy and authored way too ambiguous of an original post. i think i might have to start this one over with a new thread from the top.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:48:54 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I feel that I was "called" to be a slave. I have never felt more fulfilled. I have grown emotionally, feel in balance, and I never could have done that so quickly or so well in a vanilla relationship. For me there is a huge difference between BDSM and vanilla, though for others there is not. I understand your question completely. Each person will have their own answer, but I know that if I were to ever walk away from the lifestyle I would no longer be true to myself.

The one exception I see to this were if anything were ever to happen to my Master. After the wonders of our journey I don't know if I could be a slave to someone else or not. It is my hope that I go first so that I never have to worry about that.

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:50:01 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline 		lol, seriously.... are you guys fucking with me? is this like an inside joke? is anyone even reading the question at this point?

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 20
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