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RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:52:18 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22

lol, seriously.... are you guys fucking with me? is this like an inside joke? is anyone even reading the question at this point?

Writing a thread is much more difficult than it seems. Rather then telling people they are wrong for resonding to you and overreacting, participate and clarify as the discussion goes on.

Everyone here is responding to the question you actually asked by the way.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 6/24/2010 8:54:06 PM >

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When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Post #: 21

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:54:46 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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I read your question... and no, a vanilla relationship does not hold the same appeal for me as a lifestyle one. I cannot see myself as being equally satisfied by a vanilla match.

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Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Post #: 22

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:58:44 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22

However, if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?

Why wouldn't I choose to live a life that was fulfilling if the option presented itself to me? Are you asking would I choose to leave a fulfilling BDSM relationship, if I found I could be as equally fulfilled in a 'vanilla' one? No, I wouldn't. Not because vanilla or not matters to me, but because I just don't ever see me doing the "grass is greener elsewhere" mentality.

WinD

(in reply to submissivemale22)

Post #: 23

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 8:59:54 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

People answer the question that you asked, not the one you wanted to.

, "...if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?"

If by vanilla you mean a relationship that doesn't have a ds dynamic, I would have to say no, because I do not think it would be as fulfilling to me.

marie.... you are killing me. that disregards my entire hypothetical.

well, don't die on me just yet.

It's hard to wrap around exactly what you're asking.

Are you asking: If given the option would you choose to not have a desire to be submissive, and instead have the desire for a traditional relationship?

If that is your question, I guess I'd have to say no, but I'm already biased because I like being submissive in a relationship.

(in reply to submissivemale22)

Post #: 24

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 9:02:57 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

OP: "....If you had the option to change the color of the grass from black to another color, would you take it?"

Respondents: "The grass is not black."

OP: "I am addressing those who feel that the grass is black."

OP, you've got a false premise. And if you want only the opinions of those who feel as you do, good luck with that. Anyone is free to comment here.

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Post #: 25

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 9:06:32 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

You're probably going to hate this answer, but the truth is i don't know. It's like if someone asked me if i would prefer to be a man. How do i know if i would prefer it? i have no idea what it's like. i can't even imagine.

On the other hand...
i've always been sort of a freak. When i was young it bugged me, being so different from everyone else. But now i've kind of learned to embrace it. i guess in a way, i'm kind of proud of being submissive. i'm also kind of proud of being a freak. "Normal" is overrated.

On the other hand...
Finding the right person is hard enough, without adding kink into the equation. Sometimes i think winning the lottery would be more likely.

So, my answer is YESNOYESNOYESNOMAYBE
hope that clears things up

pam

(in reply to submissivemale22)

Post #: 26

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/24/2010 9:21:11 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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i took the liberty of pulling your OP quote from the take 2 thread and putting it here for clarification, in case anyone wants it:

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22
OK... clearly based upon the responses my last thread generated, i didn't word my question in a way that would generate the data i was seeking. thus, i am trying again.

Question: Provided that you are a submissive who is incapable of being as fulfilled by a traditional/vanilla relationship as you are by a d/s one, would you opt for the inverse if offered? By this i mean, you would be more satisfied by having a normal relationship like most people enjoy.

Basically im asking if to any extent you feel cursed/burdened by this aspect of your life.

My answer is, i spent the first 50 years of my life in unfulfulling vanilla relationships wondering what was missing & just before my 51st birthday i discovered bdsm. OMG, the excitement.......the warm fuzzies.....i knew right then and there that i would never go back to 'nilla. i need that D/s power exchange dynamic. i just suck it up. i love being submissive. It feels as natural and normal to me as breathing. If i were to go back to vanilla relationships i'd feel like a fish out of water, completely abnormal....for me. If i could somehow magickally be just as fulfilled in a 'nilla relationship, i would still not choose it. i just can't imagine that ever happening, ever.

~sweetsub~

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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Post #: 27

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 2:52:41 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I was in a vanilla marriage for 18 years. I left it for d/s relationships. So yeah, I enjoy being able to fully be who I am.

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Post #: 28

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 6:14:34 AM

RisingSea

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

I would give anything not to feel submissive. i hate it. its ruining my life right now. i wish it would go away so that i could just get on with my vanilla life and be happy in it.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 29

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 6:55:06 AM

BeIgnited

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline

FR

If I were equally fulfilled by either, then I suppose it wouldn't matter which I chose, right?

Re: what appears to be the subtext to your question:
Having said that, I don't feel particularly 'put upon' by being kinky. My D and I don't really need to hide anything from anyone (except maybe our collection of sex toys); to everyone else we just look like a happy couple. There are aspects of my personality that contribute to my submissiveness, but they'd still be there regardless of whether I were in a vanilla relationship or a D/s one.

(in reply to RisingSea)

Post #: 30

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 7:01:58 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22
not really. my question (which stands unedited) was, "...if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?"

I apologize for not being clearer- and thank the people who already replied for their participation- but i thought it followed that i was seeking the opinion of those incapable of being equally fulfilled.

The original title -
Do you enjoy being a submissive?
Doesn't correspond with the threads question.
However, if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it.

They are totally different questions but I'll attempt to respond to both.

quote:

Do you enjoy being a submissive?

I do not see submission as an act but an orientation. So I enjoy being submissive in the same way I enjoy being female or having blue eyes - all of which are yummy.

quote:

However, if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?

Possibly. It would depend how you defined the two however. I mean, from what I have gathered from your posts, you assume that beatings are always a part of Ds or Ms. I am slave to Master. It is not expected by Master that I receive any such punishments because he does not identify as a sadist. So if - as an example - he was taken ill and was unable to do such actions, then that would not be an issue in the slightest. I love him and I am commited to him. It is not expected that I should ever leave his side or his authority.

the.dark.

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Post #: 31

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 7:22:47 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemale22

However, if given the option to be equally fulfilled by vanilla relationships instead, would you take it?

No.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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Post #: 32

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 7:46:37 AM

81song

Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline

As to the question, well yes I do enjoy it. The key..trust and getting to let go once there I go into a head space that is hard to put into words but I am sure many here understand. Its the getting there that is not easy and it takes time with me. Sometimes and for no reason I start to laugh while in session, it just kind of comes out. But as always the Domme knows what to do.
But yes do enjoy it and want to learn more and keep learning, that's the key.

(in reply to submissivemale22)

Post #: 33

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 7:57:52 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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I haven't had a completely vanilla relationship in over 15 years. I've been happy in egalitarian kinky relationships, without any overt power dynamic, but I'm not sure whether you consider that to be vanilla or not.

(in reply to 81song)

Post #: 34

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 8:55:57 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
I do not see submission as an act but an orientation. So I enjoy being submissive in the same way I enjoy being female or having blue eyes - all of which are yummy.

i agree. i don't enjoy it like it's just something i do for fun, i enjoy it in that i enjoy being able to truly be myself.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 35

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 9:41:34 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
I do not see submission as an act but an orientation. So I enjoy being submissive in the same way I enjoy being female or having blue eyes - all of which are yummy.

i agree. i don't enjoy it like it's just something i do for fun, i enjoy it in that i enjoy being able to truly be myself.

~sweetsub~

What they said

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There's nowt so queer as folk

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Post #: 36

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 10:48:05 AM

submissivemale22

Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline

i appreciate the responses in this thread. i realize that the original question is worded poorly. nevertheless i appreciate all participation.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 37

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 11:00:31 AM

SirsJewel

Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline

i have been in both types of relationships,back and forth actually,but Always i remain submissive sexually. I have found i "need" a Dominant for personal growth, i just do better with someone who's attention to detail towards me is much clearer. Who wont let me back down on a goal,Who guides me on a forward path. i had to be in charge quite alot during my marriage,home,finances kids etc. In bed He was in charge. But it screwed with my psyche and i became sick and depressed down the road,and i got blamed for every wrong that happend. i couldn't thrive in a environment like that again. So hopefully i read your question the right way and answered it as best as i can~ jewels

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God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

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Post #: 38

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 11:03:25 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I will jump in. if i could be equally fiufilled in a nillia relationship would i take it? I would have to say no because then i would not be with my wonderful Master. He is not vanilla and he is the one who fulfills me so in a vanilla relationship i could not have not been fulfilled.

Do i enjoy being a submissive, it is just who i am. I enjoy being HIS submissive.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 39

RE: Do you enjoy being a submissive? - 6/25/2010 11:07:08 AM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I am not being anything but myself. The line between vanilla and kinky is hair thin and viable to break, in my opinion.

I enjoy being and so I simply am.

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You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to submissivemale22)

Post #: 40

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