RE: When does helping, turn into enabling?

RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (Full Version)

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Elisabella -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:03:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Insult me all you want, a bullying and rude demand for me to do anything only works for the men and women in black dresses (and Jeffff). [8D] Men and women in black dresses? I seriously have no idea what you're on about here so go ahead and have fun with that, fucking weirdo.

Jasmineinbloom -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:04:08 PM)
Some people just aren't as fortunate as others financially, scholastically, access to emotional or nurturing support systems. Sometimes their kids are all they have. Personally, I'd prefer to take the compassionate road in trying to figure a way to help a young girl or woman feel more empowered and loved as a human being. These women for the most part are used to being treated badly.

DarlingSavage -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:05:27 PM)
laurell3, Tell him you've said your piece and you've counted to 3, hand him this, then see what happens. It worked for Holly Hunter. [image]local://upfiles/875047/62D9B64405D3425A94D2906D5A0CCCDD.jpg[/image]

Elisabella -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:05:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jasmineinbloom Some people just aren't as fortunate as others financially, scholastically, access to emotional or nurturing support systems. Sometimes their kids are all they have. Personally, I'd prefer to take the compassionate road in trying to figure a way to help a young girl or woman feel more empowered and loved as a human being. These women for the most part are used to being treated badly. That's cool. I'm probably a sociopath, really. I don't care about people unless I know them and like them. I just look at this in terms of optimal solutions.

Jasmineinbloom -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:11:11 PM)
(smile) I don't think you're sociopathic. Many people feel as you do. Optimal to me means that the solution needs to be long standing. Sterilization will not solve the basic need for a young girl or woman to experience the love she is missing via a baby of her own who will love her unconditionally.

Elisabella -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:13:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jasmineinbloom (smile) I don't think you're sociopathic. Many people feel as you do. Optimal to me means that the solution needs to be long standing. Sterilization will not solve the basic need for a young girl or woman to experience the love she is missing via a baby of her own who will love her unconditionally. IMO having someone to love you unconditionally is a very bad reason to have a kid. Especially if you're unable to provide a stable environment for that kid - if it ends up hating you for that then you're screwed.

Owner59 -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:15:28 PM)
sex happens.... it just does.... any solution involving people not having sex is never going to work. Now letting UMs go without, is no solution either.

Elisabella -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:16:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owner59 sex happens.... it just does.... any solution involving people not having sex is never going to work. Now letting UMs go without, is no solution either. So...sterilization then? [:D]

DarlingSavage -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:19:13 PM)
What's a UM?

Jasmineinbloom -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:19:17 PM)
I agree. And you're right. That's why it's important to help these girls prior to them becoming pregnant. But I don't think these mothers should be thrown to the curb, or made to feel less than human.

laurell3 -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:22:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage What's a UM? It's what we used to refer to as a child before moderation eased up. Underage Minor. Thanks for the dress, I'd like to see a few judges in that...haha. LadyC you have mail. I'm quite serious about the number of programs that are designed for laypersons to participate in and better the lives of these children. You all should look into them if you're really concerned about the kids. Change starts with action, not tossing around theories on the internet and I've seen first hand the benefit a good mentor can bring to an underprivleged child's life and well-being.

Owner59 -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:23:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: Owner59 sex happens.... it just does.... any solution involving people not having sex is never going to work. Now letting UMs go without, is no solution either. So...sterilization then? [:D] Well,I got the big 'V' some years ago,so I`m do`n my part.[:D] Your turn......[;)]

Owner59 -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:25:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage What's a UM? It's what we used to refer to as a child before moderation eased up. Underage Minor. Thanks for the dress, I'd like to see a few judges in that...haha. LadyC you have mail. I'm quite serious about the number of programs that are designed for laypersons to participate in and better the lives of these children. You all should look into them if you're really concerned about the kids. Change starts with action, not tossing around theories on the internet and I've seen first hand the benefit a good mentor can bring to an underprivleged child's life and well-being. Especially UMs of mothers in prison.It`s truly tragic what`s happening to those families.

LadyCimarron -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:27:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: Owner59 sex happens.... it just does.... any solution involving people not having sex is never going to work. Now letting UMs go without, is no solution either. So...sterilization then? [:D] Here is what no one wants to get into because it is way off topic: Eugenics was used in the United States until it was outlawed in the 1960's I beleive. It involved forced sterilization and was used to control (or eliminate depending on who you ask) the population of poor, disabled and minorities in American society. It was indeed legal and it was forced. It was widely used and California had the highest number of forced sterilizations. It was so efficient that the Nazies at the Nuremburg trials praised us and called the US their "inspiration" for their genocide attempt on the Jews. With that in mind how many poor and minorities do you think are going to "volunteer" for this given the fact that the govn't has already pretty much tried to "off them" once before with sterilization. And human rights activists would never let this kind of law pass by them; not to mention the ACLU.

Elisabella -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:28:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owner59 Well,I got the big 'V' some years ago,so I`m do`n my part.[:D] Your turn......[;)] My husband got a V too. As for me, I'd totally get a hysterectomy, just to end my evil PCOS blood rage, if it weren't for the fact that my insane hormonal mood swings would be worse if I induced menopause, and I don't want to be a reject divorcee before my 27th birthday.

laurell3 -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:28:39 PM)
There's a program for that too! The problem is, these great theories aren't realized because there aren't enough volunteers willing to actually do anything to help. Our local mentor program has over a year waiting list. [:(]

Jasmineinbloom -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:31:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage What's a UM? It's what we used to refer to as a child before moderation eased up. Underage Minor. Thanks for the dress, I'd like to see a few judges in that...haha. LadyC you have mail. I'm quite serious about the number of programs that are designed for laypersons to participate in and better the lives of these children. You all should look into them if you're really concerned about the kids. Change starts with action, not tossing around theories on the internet and I've seen first hand the benefit a good mentor can bring to an underprivleged child's life and well-being. Bravo! Exactly! Hands on sincere positive support.

Jasmineinbloom -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:35:59 PM)
I've mentored young mothers who were not aware that holding a baby means comfort, not spoiling. It just takes time and patience to turn someone's life around for the better.

Elisabella -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:36:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron Here is what no one wants to get into because it is way off topic: Eugenics was used in the United States until it was outlawed in the 1960's I beleive. It involved forced sterilization and was used to control (or eliminate depending on who you ask) the population of poor, disabled and minorities in American society. It was indeed legal and it was forced. It was widely used and California had the highest number of forced sterilizations. It was so efficient that the Nazies at the Nuremburg trials praised us and called the US their "inspiration" for their genocide attempt on the Jews. With that in mind how many poor and minorities do you think are going to "volunteer" for this given the fact that the govn't has already pretty much tried to "off them" once before with sterilization. And human rights activists would never let this kind of law pass by them; not to mention the ACLU. Yeah I really don't think it's feasible, or even relevant, because the number of career "welfare queens" is only a small percentage of mothers that receive benefits. But I don't have any sort of horrible visceral reaction to it either. I genuinely do not understand why someone would want to have more kids if they're unable to take care of the ones they already have. And I'm not talking about intentionally getting pregnant, just...why keep your reproductive organs if you know that having more kids is just going to make life harder for both yourself and your children?

laurell3 -> RE: When does helping, turn into enabling? (6/26/2010 9:38:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jasmineinbloom I've mentored young mothers who were not aware that holding a baby means comfort, not spoiling. It just takes time and patience to turn someone's life around for the better. It's really amazing how some of these kids just taking them to a free day at the children's museum or he park is the highlight of their year. It's not difficult to make a difference with them. It only takes action. By the way, in the training they stress NOT spending money on them, the goal is to better their lives without fostering an economic focus in the relationship.

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