RE: owned but not collared.....wth?

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 6:32:00 PM)
The difference being, his is still legible. Between the slashy speak, poor punctuation, run-on sentences and no paragraphs, what you are typing is very difficult to read. I really would like to read it.

Missokyst -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 6:41:25 PM)
In those instances where the man in my life said "I own you" I have to say it was mutual. At that point we put aside dating other people and focused exclusively on each other (romantically). It was indeed like a vanilla couple being exclusive. Though I have spent all of my life in BDSM'y D/s type relationships I have never been collared. For me being collared is more like a symbol that my mate would require to feel secure in my committment. So far no one has required it of me. I am not sure I would use a collar for anything except play. But then I resisted marriage too, having only gone that route once in my life. quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance To me Im owned long before Im collared, a collar to me, Is like a wedding ring, however being owned is like a vanilla couple saying lets be exclusive. Ownership, is that feeling I get when Im with someone and I want to put his needs before mine. A Collar is something that comes after...that mental happyness

bestheadyet -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 6:50:31 PM)
that was meant in jest ....the 'talk to him' youre speaking of. the right dynamic? how does anyone know where they fit in this world? im a newbie to ALLof this.. ....though i have been a subbie for years. most of the time when i start a post its just a little question....and then 3 pages later here we are. i don't have any friends in the 'vanilla world' i can discuss it with ya know? and dynamic wrong or right because of how i feel ....is why im still with Him. and i am stubborn enough to try and get whatever 'it' i seem to be missing. sorry if i'm out of line laurell.

Aileen1968 -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 6:54:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I think Domi's point is, it is better to gift your one with a nice pair of flip flops instead of a collar. That's what Ailleen did with Shore! They are..... flip flopped! Hahahahaha. Owned and collared go hand in hand to me. I can't imagine him owning me without collaring me and vice versa.

SirsJewel -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 6:57:18 PM)
i think most people read me just fine. Maybe you need to get the point of the crown you wear as queen puncuation outta your behind tho? Don't read my comments if they bother you so horribly. i have never seen such crankmasters and mistresses get off the beaten path so horribly,it really takes the fun out of communication to find ONE mispleeeeeeeeeelling and milk it for an ego.sheesh ~ jewels

Aileen1968 -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 6:59:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirsJewel i think most people read me just fine. Maybe you need to get the point of the crown you wear as queen puncuation outta your behind tho? Don't read my comments if they bother you so horribly. i have never seen such crankmasters and mistresses get off the beaten path so horribly,it really takes the fun out of communication to find ONE mispleeeeeeeeeelling and milk it for an ego.sheesh ~ jewels Chill. Count me in on one of those that skips over your posts too.

laurell3 -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:01:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet that was meant in jest ....the 'talk to him' youre speaking of. the right dynamic? how does anyone know where they fit in this world? im a newbie to ALLof this.. ....though i have been a subbie for years. most of the time when i start a post its just a little question....and then 3 pages later here we are. i don't have any friends in the 'vanilla world' i can discuss it with ya know? and dynamic wrong or right because of how i feel ....is why im still with Him. and i am stubborn enough to try and get whatever 'it' i seem to be missing. sorry if i'm out of line laurell. I'm not suggesting you are out of line for asking for advice. Please read it again. I am saying the only people that really know the answer to these questions is you and him. Take a good inventory of what you need from a dynamic/relationship and asess realistically whether you are getting that. Then talk to him. We cannot tell you why he does what he does. We cannot tell you what a collar means to him....that's my point, not that you are "out of line." I don't believe in any dynamic that includes abandonment for "punishment" personally. I don't know the circumstances though. I'm not going to jump the gun and say anything about him. Maybe you need more attention than he can give....who knows other than you and him? I could care less whether the terms "owned" or "collared" apply to my dynamic. I care whether we are both happy and getting our needs met in the relationship. Is that true for you or him? Hell if I know. Do you see where I am going here? It's not, you're horrible for posting, it's you seem to really want us to tell you what you and he should need and want. We can't and your ability to communicate with HIM is your greatest tool to preserve this relationship.

SirsJewel -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:01:30 PM)
Sounds good to me! ~ jewels

laurell3 -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:03:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 quote: ORIGINAL: SirsJewel i think most people read me just fine. Maybe you need to get the point of the crown you wear as queen puncuation outta your behind tho? Don't read my comments if they bother you so horribly. i have never seen such crankmasters and mistresses get off the beaten path so horribly,it really takes the fun out of communication to find ONE mispleeeeeeeeeelling and milk it for an ego.sheesh ~ jewels Chill. Count me in on one of those that skips over your posts too. Do you react to everything leading with your ego? Do you honestly believe that I would even post that if I wasn't trying to help you? I would just not read anything you write. I'm not alone. I think you are attempting to communicate and it's important to you. I'm dating Jeffff for fucks sake, do you REALLY REALLY think spelling is that important to me?

JstAnotherSub -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:04:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet i dont thrive on it at all...... it makes me feel like im in freefall with no parachute. ive been asked why do i continue..... its more simple than this thread for sure....i love Him ....in an inexplicable way. color me crazy but im allowing heart to rule me....its part of me letting go of control ....for me anyhoo thats my story and im sticking to it[8\|] You will either learn to deal with it or he will change or you will leave. Maybe in a day or a week or a month or ....well...... Uncertainty all the time would not be good for me, and I would know it wasnt right for me immediately. Good luck.

SirsJewel -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:08:50 PM)
No offense taken, but i don't come to Cm for grammer lessons and most don't. i dont write horribly,but i do notice that anyone new seems to get thier 9 slashes. i don't read posts and think"hmmmmmmmmmmm i think i will correct that individual on a bunch of crap",it's not my place any more than it would be to speak "down" to someone in person. i have done nothing offensive purposely to gain attenton. i am not that way here or in real life. i just wish people would lighten up a tad honestly, life is way too short, Have fun ~ jewels xo

Jeffff -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:09:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 I'm dating Jeffff for fucks sake, do you REALLY REALLY think spelling is that important to me? I believe my spelling was just insulted there. I am warning you, I will not wear flip flops!

Jeffff -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:10:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirsJewel No offense taken, but i don't come to Cm for grammer lessons and most don't. i dont write horribly,but i do notice that anyone new seems to get thier 9 slashes. i don't read posts and think"hmmmmmmmmmmm i think i will correct that individual on a bunch of crap",it's not my place any more than it would be to speak "down" to someone in person. i have done nothing offensive purposely to gain attenton. i am not that way here or in real life. i just wish people would lighten up a tad honestly, life is way too short, Have fun ~ jewels xo It is easier to read with spaces....... that's all

Missokyst -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:11:58 PM)
When I was new I never got those slashes. Luck? Perhaps I should have pulled off my shirt.

DesFIP -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:12:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet he thrives on my uncertainty. its not the questions i get in trouble for ...its my presentation im sure....and i go into near hysteria when separated ...and dig my holes further....and regarding a collar....i think i want his declaration and clarity of where i stand.....if i am being honest Did you agree to his emotional sadism? Does this work for you? Do you feel happier being refused visits, being refused any clarification, being punished for things you didn't know were wrong, not being told or taught how to succeed but instead being set up for failure? Because there is nothing different about a power relationship to a vanilla one. You need the same things in both. You need to be fulfilled, to feel better with him than without him, you need honesty and open communication.

LafayetteLady -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:13:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet i want more than i certainly deserve....but i want to know i am doing something right!!!! LOL [/size] I'm not sure why no one else has asked this, but what in the world makes you think you don't deserve what you want? Does HE make you feel that way? Does something in your past make you feel that way? Thinking you are undeserving of what you want is not a good thing. Then you go on to say that you want clarity of where the relationship stands. Do you think for some reason you don't deserve to have that information? If the reason you feel undeserving is due to something in your past, then you should get yourself into some type of therapy and work on realizing that you are deserving. If the reason you feel you don't deserve what you want is because that is what HE is telling you or leading you to believe, then you need to leave, now. Because unless what it is that you want is something unrealistic like being in charge of the relationship (which is only unrealistic because you identify as an s-type and he a d-type), or he is withholding something as punishment, you should never feel as though you are undeserving, and his job as your dominant is to help you learn that, not to encourage that belief as a means of control

Nineveh -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:13:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirsJewel i think most people read me just fine. Maybe you need to get the point of the crown you wear as queen puncuation outta your behind tho? Don't read my comments if they bother you so horribly. i have never seen such crankmasters and mistresses get off the beaten path so horribly,it really takes the fun out of communication to find ONE mispleeeeeeeeeelling and milk it for an ego.sheesh ~ jewels Honestly I usually skip your posts. Not because you don't have valuable things to say but because they are difficult to read.

Level -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:14:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I am warning you, I will not wear flip flops! Be strong! Hide her yarn if need be.

laurell3 -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:17:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I am warning you, I will not wear flip flops! Be strong! Hide her yarn if need be. hahahaha I don't knit! That's for the kyra yarn revolution! Long live yarn!!!!!

bestheadyet -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/27/2010 7:19:09 PM)
ty DesFIP......i really do ty

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