RE: owned but not collared.....wth?

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/28/2010 7:26:02 PM)
D/s Not every one who don't believe in giving collars don't take responsibility. I personally don't believe in collars, nor would I ever want one, nor would I choose a dom who believed in them, but believe me, we're still taking responsibility for the relationship, for us, and he takes responcibility for my care and up keep. quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage All the benefits, none of the responsibility?

barelynangel -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/28/2010 7:42:31 PM)
[sm=applause.gif]

bestheadyet -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/28/2010 7:52:13 PM)
just an interesting piece of info....http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/4240579.stm regarding lovesickness=unrequited love goodnight everyone and ty

Nineveh -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/28/2010 7:59:28 PM)
Also important, not everyone who believes in giving collars is responsible. Thus the term "velcro collar"

MagiksSlave -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 3:18:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss quote: our r/t has been limited by my misbehavior.....hey im new what can i say? quote: I can barely get thru some days of my new situation...because i am willful,outspoken and in general the daggone 'question girl'. So.... he expects you to learn stuff by osmosis? Gee I wish I could tell all my students who ask questions and who misbehave to stay home. It would make it so much easier! No responsibility on my part to actually teach and mentor them. Just - GO AWAY until you learn to behave. How does that work? As to the question - Just like any relationship, feelings are separate from the physical manifestation. Rarely do they show up at the exact same time. Best, sunshine You mean you CANT do that?? Oh noes!!! I'm done for! Anyway, sorry bout that, as for the thread... well everyone has really touched on it. It is different for all you really need to ask him about it, but it sounds like communication between you two is down for the count, and that doesnt bode well I'm afriad... Also, withholding time with you as punishment... BIG HUGE red flags there dear. But more then that, you just dont sound happy. Something isnt working and I dont think its the question of owned vs collared that is the problem here. You need to think long and hard about what you want, how you can be happy and then look at the person you are with and see if he fills these things. After that it just comes down to communication between you two. If he wont allow or fasilitate communication, I question his motives as a Dom,

MagiksSlave -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 3:20:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I think Domi's point is, it is better to gift your one with a nice pair of flip flops instead of a collar. That's what Ailleen did with Shore! They are..... flip flopped! Thats awsome.... I so wana get flip flopped!

MagiksSlave -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 3:23:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet he thrives on my uncertainty. its not the questions i get in trouble for ...its my presentation im sure....and i go into near hysteria when separated ...and dig my holes further....and regarding a collar....i think i want his declaration and clarity of where i stand.....if i am being honest Am I the only one that had huge red flags popping up from this??

sunshinemiss -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 3:25:00 PM)
Nope, you're not. eta: However, there are people who absolutely adore emotional sadism. It would seem that the OP is not* one of those people. That is where the concern is. I've always said that my part in all of this is to make sure I do as I'm told and to take care to make sure I'm not harmed - physically or emotionally. What the OP and her fellow are doing is something that would harm my heart. It would then be MY responsibility NOT HIS to step back and say. Whoa Nelly! The concern is that she doesn't seem to see that emotional sadism is not the end all and be all of wiitwd. There are wonderful, glorious men who are much more nurturing or who are just at least neutral on this particular spectrum. The OP is terribly new and possibly doesn't have the practical, real life experience (and vision that comes with it) to accurately assess her situation. Possibly. Or she may just love being in that head space and not know it. It is not for me to judge. best, sunshine

MagiksSlave -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 3:51:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Nope, you're not. eta: However, there are people who absolutely adore emotional sadism. It would seem that the OP is not* one of those people. That is where the concern is. I've always said that my part in all of this is to make sure I do as I'm told and to take care to make sure I'm not harmed - physically or emotionally. What the OP and her fellow are doing is something that would harm my heart. It would then be MY responsibility NOT HIS to step back and say. Whoa Nelly! The concern is that she doesn't seem to see that emotional sadism is not the end all and be all of wiitwd. There are wonderful, glorious men who are much more nurturing or who are just at least neutral on this particular spectrum. The OP is terribly new and possibly doesn't have the practical, real life experience (and vision that comes with it) to accurately assess her situation. Possibly. Or she may just love being in that head space and not know it. It is not for me to judge. best, sunshine Im conserned because she says she is in love but is so apparently not happy, he is hurting her and doesnt seem to care, again I havent talked to him so I dont know what he is thinking I do know what he is doing is making her not happy but she stays out of love... many a woman has stayed in an abusive relationship becuase they "love hm" and they "deserve it" so a lot of warning bells have gone off in my head. Loving something isnt always the best reason to indulge in it...

KneelingSub25 -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 4:05:16 PM)
Excellent point, Sunshinemiss. It should never be alright to seek to "break" a slave. That's just silly. The point is to strengthen them. (unless we are talking about roleplaying games)

bestheadyet -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 4:10:57 PM)
i really appreciate ya'll's input but the wider i open my 'mouth 'the bigger bite of foot i get. gonna put myself in a corner

DarlingSavage -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 4:12:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom D/s Not every one who don't believe in giving collars don't take responsibility. I personally don't believe in collars, nor would I ever want one, nor would I choose a dom who believed in them, but believe me, we're still taking responsibility for the relationship, for us, and he takes responcibility for my care and up keep. quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage All the benefits, none of the responsibility? I think you're reading far too much into my response here.

KneelingSub25 -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 4:16:40 PM)
I don't think collars have to be "worn" so much as "felt." In other words, you can ditch all the BDSM gear and still retain an alternative relationship with a partner. You can be collared WITHOUT a collar. But, then again, I'm also more drawn to the mental aspects of the lifestyle than the physical. I understand the gear does play a role to many people.

sirsholly -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 4:42:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet gonna put myself in a corner you have too much going for you to stick yourself in a corner, i hope you realize that.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 4:57:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet gonna put myself in a corner you have too much going for you to stick yourself in a corner, i hope you realize that. Agreed PLUS you deserve so much better than that jerkwad, I hope you realise that real soon.

juliaoceania -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 5:29:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet just an interesting piece of info....http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/4240579.stm regarding lovesickness=unrequited love goodnight everyone and ty Love is much more rewarding when it is returned, and although adults experience this phenomena from time to time, I tend to think that when you get to a certain age and you engage in relationships without mutual love it is an unhealthy thing. It is saying either you feel you aren't worthy of love, or even more unhealthy, you are putting yourself into relational situations that push real love away. The former can be overcome much more easily then the latter in my experience of watching people.... Here is the thing. I have read through your posts on this thread, and those posts you were responding to, hell, I am not going to attack your dominant person. I am not going to tell you that you deserve more. That would be futile because you have decided that putting up with second best is suiting your needs at this point, and if you weren't getting something out of all of this, you wouldn't be doing it. I will say this, you know in your gut something is out of place... or you wouldn't have questioned the entire thing... So, it is up to you, want to be kept guessing, the emotional roller coaster of not knowing when you will be up or when you will be down... keep on keeping on and enjoy the ride, you bought the ticket, only you can decide if it is a round trip or a one way...

laurell3 -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 5:42:34 PM)
Great post julia I agree. In general response, we really cannot tell her to stand up for herself and choose what is right for her and then say...well wait that's not the choice I meant. She's made her choice, and like everyone else, she's still welcome to post about it.

IronBear -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 5:46:38 PM)
~FR~ I posted the following in "Ask A Master" in reply to a similar question. My view still stands. From my personal point of view, and whilst I love to see a girl's neck decorated with a collar, and I don't care of it be a hand made collar or a million dollar diamond, emerald and ruby one, it is still only a symbol of what is there. If she believed she is my property and I have declared it so then she belongs to me and referring to her being collared is but semantics.

angelikaJ -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 5:47:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: ORIGINAL: bestheadyet gonna put myself in a corner you have too much going for you to stick yourself in a corner, i hope you realize that. Agreed PLUS you deserve so much better than that jerkwad, I hope you realise that real soon. I think it is admirable for people to be so outwardly caring towards this new poster. However, given that her master is evidently following this thread, I am not sure voicing those feelings here would be the best way of offering her continued support.

bestheadyet -> RE: owned but not collared.....wth? (6/29/2010 6:04:28 PM)
quote: caffeinated psychotic hair pixies where can i join that club???? hugs everyone j

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 [6] 7 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875