RE: owned but not collared.....wth?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: owned but not collared.....wth?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: owned but not collared.....wth?

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 [6] 7 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/28/2010 7:26:02 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

D/s Not every one who don't believe in giving collars don't take responsibility.

I personally don't believe in collars, nor would I ever want one, nor would I choose a dom who believed in them, but believe me, we're still taking responsibility for the relationship, for us, and he takes responcibility for my care and up keep.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

All the benefits, none of the responsibility?

(in reply to DarlingSavage)

Post #: 101

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/28/2010 7:42:31 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 102

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/28/2010 7:52:13 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

just an interesting piece of info....http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/4240579.stm

regarding lovesickness=unrequited love

goodnight everyone and ty

< Message edited by bestheadyet -- 6/28/2010 7:54:10 PM >

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 103

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/28/2010 7:59:28 PM

Nineveh

Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline

Also important, not everyone who believes in giving collars is responsible. Thus the term "velcro collar"

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 104

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 3:18:10 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

our r/t has been limited by my misbehavior.....hey im new what can i say?

quote:

I can barely get thru some days of my new situation...because i am willful,outspoken and in general the daggone 'question girl'.

So.... he expects you to learn stuff by osmosis? Gee I wish I could tell all my students who ask questions and who misbehave to stay home. It would make it so much easier! No responsibility on my part to actually teach and mentor them. Just - GO AWAY until you learn to behave. How *does* that work?

As to the question - Just like any relationship, feelings are separate from the physical manifestation. Rarely do they show up at the exact same time.

Best,
sunshine

You mean you CANT do that?? Oh noes!!! I'm done for!

Anyway, sorry bout that, as for the thread... well everyone has really touched on it. It is different for all you really need to ask him about it, but it sounds like communication between you two is down for the count, and that doesnt bode well I'm afriad... Also, withholding time with you as punishment... BIG HUGE red flags there dear. But more then that, you just dont sound happy. Something isnt working and I dont think its the question of owned vs collared that is the problem here.

You need to think long and hard about what you want, how you can be happy and then look at the person you are with and see if he fills these things. After that it just comes down to communication between you two. If he wont allow or fasilitate communication, I question his motives as a Dom,

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 105

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 3:20:17 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I think Domi's point is, it is better to gift your one with a nice pair of flip flops instead of a collar.

That's what Ailleen did with Shore!

They are..... flip flopped!

Thats awsome.... I so wana get flip flopped!

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 106

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 3:23:01 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

he thrives on my uncertainty.

its not the questions i get in trouble for ...its my presentation im sure....and i go into near hysteria when separated ...and dig my holes further....and regarding a collar....i think i want his declaration and clarity of where i stand.....if i am being honest

Am I the only one that had huge red flags popping up from this??

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 107

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 3:25:00 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Nope, you're not.

*eta: However, there are people who absolutely adore emotional sadism. It would seem that the OP is *not* one of those people. That is where the concern is.

I've always said that my part in all of this is to make sure I do as I'm told and to take care to make sure I'm not harmed - physically or emotionally. What the OP and her fellow are doing is something that would *harm* my heart. It would then be MY responsibility NOT HIS to step back and say. Whoa Nelly!

The concern is that she doesn't seem to see that emotional sadism is not the end all and be all of wiitwd. There are wonderful, glorious men who are much more nurturing or who are just at least neutral on this particular spectrum. The OP is terribly new and possibly doesn't have the practical, real life experience (and vision that comes with it) to accurately assess her situation. Possibly. Or she may just love being in that head space and not know it. It is not for me to judge.

best,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 6/29/2010 3:31:30 PM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 108

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 3:51:10 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Nope, you're not.

*eta: However, there are people who absolutely adore emotional sadism. It would seem that the OP is *not* one of those people. That is where the concern is.

I've always said that my part in all of this is to make sure I do as I'm told and to take care to make sure I'm not harmed - physically or emotionally. What the OP and her fellow are doing is something that would *harm* my heart. It would then be MY responsibility NOT HIS to step back and say. Whoa Nelly!

The concern is that she doesn't seem to see that emotional sadism is not the end all and be all of wiitwd. There are wonderful, glorious men who are much more nurturing or who are just at least neutral on this particular spectrum. The OP is terribly new and possibly doesn't have the practical, real life experience (and vision that comes with it) to accurately assess her situation. Possibly. Or she may just love being in that head space and not know it. It is not for me to judge.

best,
sunshine

Im conserned because she says she is in love but is so apparently not happy, he is hurting her and doesnt seem to care, again I havent talked to him so I dont know what he is thinking I do know what he is doing is making her not happy but she stays out of love... many a woman has stayed in an abusive relationship becuase they "love hm" and they "deserve it" so a lot of warning bells have gone off in my head.

Loving something isnt always the best reason to indulge in it...

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 109

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 4:05:16 PM

KneelingSub25

Posts: 63
Joined: 12/9/2006
From: New York City
Status: offline

Excellent point, Sunshinemiss. It should never be alright to seek to "break" a slave. That's just silly. The point is to strengthen them. (unless we are talking about roleplaying games)

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 110

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 4:10:57 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

i really appreciate ya'll's input but the wider i open my 'mouth 'the bigger bite of foot i get.

gonna put myself in a corner

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 111

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 4:12:19 PM

DarlingSavage

Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

D/s Not every one who don't believe in giving collars don't take responsibility.

I personally don't believe in collars, nor would I ever want one, nor would I choose a dom who believed in them, but believe me, we're still taking responsibility for the relationship, for us, and he takes responcibility for my care and up keep.
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

All the benefits, none of the responsibility?

I think you're reading far too much into my response here.

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 112

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 4:16:40 PM

KneelingSub25

Posts: 63
Joined: 12/9/2006
From: New York City
Status: offline

I don't think collars have to be "worn" so much as "felt." In other words, you can ditch all the BDSM gear and still retain an alternative relationship with a partner. You can be collared WITHOUT a collar. But, then again, I'm also more drawn to the mental aspects of the lifestyle than the physical. I understand the gear does play a role to many people.

(in reply to DarlingSavage)

Post #: 113

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 4:42:34 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

gonna put myself in a corner

you have too much going for you to stick yourself in a corner, i hope you realize that.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 114

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 4:57:26 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

gonna put myself in a corner

you have too much going for you to stick yourself in a corner, i hope you realize that.

Agreed PLUS you deserve so much better than that jerkwad, I hope you realise that real soon.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 115

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 5:29:32 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

just an interesting piece of info....http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/4240579.stm

regarding lovesickness=unrequited love

goodnight everyone and ty

Love is much more rewarding when it is returned, and although adults experience this phenomena from time to time, I tend to think that when you get to a certain age and you engage in relationships without mutual love it is an unhealthy thing. It is saying either you feel you aren't worthy of love, or even more unhealthy, you are putting yourself into relational situations that push real love away. The former can be overcome much more easily then the latter in my experience of watching people....

Here is the thing. I have read through your posts on this thread, and those posts you were responding to, hell, I am not going to attack your dominant person. I am not going to tell you that you deserve more. That would be futile because you have decided that putting up with second best is suiting your needs at this point, and if you weren't getting something out of all of this, you wouldn't be doing it. I will say this, you know in your gut something is out of place... or you wouldn't have questioned the entire thing...

So, it is up to you, want to be kept guessing, the emotional roller coaster of not knowing when you will be up or when you will be down... keep on keeping on and enjoy the ride, you bought the ticket, only you can decide if it is a round trip or a one way...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 116

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 5:42:34 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Great post julia I agree.

In general response, we really cannot tell her to stand up for herself and choose what is right for her and then say...well wait that's not the choice I meant. She's made her choice, and like everyone else, she's still welcome to post about it.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 117

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 5:46:38 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

~FR~

I posted the following in "Ask A Master" in reply to a similar question. My view still stands.

From my personal point of view, and whilst I love to see a girl's neck decorated with a collar, and I don't care of it be a hand made collar or a million dollar diamond, emerald and ruby one, it is still only a symbol of what is there. If she believed she is my property and I have declared it so then she belongs to me and referring to her being collared is but semantics.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 118

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 5:47:12 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

gonna put myself in a corner

you have too much going for you to stick yourself in a corner, i hope you realize that.

Agreed PLUS you deserve so much better than that jerkwad, I hope you realise that real soon.

I think it is admirable for people to be so outwardly caring towards this new poster.
However, given that her master is evidently following this thread, I am not sure voicing those feelings here would be the best way of offering her continued support.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 119

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/29/2010 6:04:28 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

caffeinated psychotic hair pixies

where can i join that club????

hugs everyone

j

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 120

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 [6] 7 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: owned but not collared.....wth?

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 [6] 7 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109