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RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:21:37 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsJewel

i think most people read me just fine. Maybe you need to get the point of the crown you wear as queen puncuation outta your behind tho? Don't read my comments if they bother you so horribly. i have never seen such crankmasters and mistresses get off the beaten path so horribly,it really takes the fun out of communication to find ONE mispleeeeeeeeeelling and milk it for an ego.sheesh ~ jewels

I can read your stuff just fine..She's a snotty miserable bitch..

How's my punctuation?

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to SirsJewel)

Post #: 61

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:26:09 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

To many elipses, a comma would have been better.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 62

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:27:25 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Too

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(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 63

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:28:19 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

I hate you.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 64

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:29:54 PM

SirsJewel

Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline

lmao, that's all ya can do! ~ jewels xo

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 65

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:33:31 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

deleted

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 6/27/2010 7:49:01 PM >

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 66

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:34:01 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Do you see where I am going here? It's not, you're horrible for posting, it's you seem to really want us to tell you what you and he should need and want. We can't and your ability to communicate with HIM is your greatest tool to preserve this relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

that was meant in jest ....the 'talk to him' youre speaking of.

the right dynamic? how does anyone know where they fit in this world?

im a newbie to ALLof this.. ....though i have been a subbie for years.

most of the time when i start a post its just a little question....and then 3 pages later here we are.

i don't have any friends in the 'vanilla world' i can discuss it with ya know? and dynamic wrong or right because of how i feel ....is why im still with Him. and i am stubborn enough to try and get whatever 'it' i seem to be missing.
sorry if i'm out of line laurell.

I'm not suggesting you are out of line for asking for advice. Please read it again. I am saying the only people that really know the answer to these questions is you and him. Take a good inventory of what you need from a dynamic/relationship and asess realistically whether you are getting that. Then talk to him. We cannot tell you why he does what he does. We cannot tell you what a collar means to him....that's my point, not that you are "out of line."

I don't believe in any dynamic that includes abandonment for "punishment" personally. I don't know the circumstances though. I'm not going to jump the gun and say anything about him. Maybe you need more attention than he can give....who knows other than you and him?

I could care less whether the terms "owned" or "collared" apply to my dynamic. I care whether we are both happy and getting our needs met in the relationship. Is that true for you or him? Hell if I know.

Do you see where I am going here? It's not, you're horrible for posting, it's you seem to really want us to tell you what you and he should need and want. We can't and your ability to communicate with HIM is your greatest tool to preserve this relationship.

what i was originally asking was what was the difference in owned and collared ...to other people. and things kinda went where they did....all these posts and my open bookness lol.
i always talk to Him about issues but sometimes i am not a good listener or real life gets in my way(i dont live with M)
i actually had asked someone in private ...and she thought it would be great for the board:)

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 67

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:34:18 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

To many elipses, a comma would have been better.

Thank you. I wasn't sure.

Noble and helpful!

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 68

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:35:36 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsJewel

lmao, that's all ya can do! ~ jewels xo

you mean spelling jokes or telling the truth?

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to SirsJewel)

Post #: 69

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:36:25 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Of course he feels that way.

Laurell is intelligent. She has the ability to establish a position and defend it.

He will say it isn't submissive. That's because he is threatened by it.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to SirsJewel)

Post #: 70

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:37:28 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Of course he feels that way.

Laurell is intelligent. She has the ability to establish a position and defend it.

He will say it isn't submissive. That's because he is threatened by it.

It's her one eye picture..It keeps looking at me.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 71

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:49:36 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

What..we're not in a mood to play anymore? Off to bed I guess

Night.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 72

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 7:51:37 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsJewel

No offense taken, but i don't come to Cm for grammer lessons and most don't. i dont write horribly,but i do notice that anyone new seems to get thier 9 slashes. i don't read posts and think"hmmmmmmmmmmm i think i will correct that individual on a bunch of crap",it's not my place any more than it would be to speak "down" to someone in person. i have done nothing offensive purposely to gain attenton. i am not that way here or in real life. i just wish people would lighten up a tad honestly, life is way too short, Have fun ~ jewels xo

Grammar.

So sorry. I tried to resist. Carry on.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to SirsJewel)

Post #: 73

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 8:00:59 PM

SirsJewel

Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline

Oh, the spelling jokes for sure. i don't laugh at folks that's just mean-spirited lol~ jewels

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 74

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 8:01:01 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

i appreciate the support and opinions today. i think i may reconsider it next time i have a question.... before i post/shoot myself in the foot.

i love insight into areas ive never walked ya know...but clearly i need to retreat and find some clarity in my head.
glad i met some new friends today tho!!!

hugs to all

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

Post #: 75

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 8:02:43 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

best,

Again, I am not telling you not to post. I am suggesting to you that I think what DesFip and LafayetteLady are suggesting to you (and similar questions posters have said in other threads regarding the questions you asked), may REALLY be the questions you need to ask of yourself and him.

I'm not remotely close to condeming you for posting. Nor could I ever tell you what is right for you or him. I am encouraging you to make sure that your partner and dynamic fit for YOUR needs and talk to him about it. My suggestions are from concern, not frustration at your post. Can you see that?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 76

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 8:03:43 PM

SirsJewel

Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline

Hugs back, it certainly has taught me what character some have for sure. i wish you only the best ~ jewels xo

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 77

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 8:22:49 PM

Nineveh

Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

i appreciate the support and opinions today. i think i may reconsider it next time i have a question.... before i post/shoot myself in the foot.

i love insight into areas ive never walked ya know...but clearly i need to retreat and find some clarity in my head.
glad i met some new friends today tho!!!

hugs to all

I think it was probably for the best that you did post. You haven't come out looking like a bad person and I don't think he has either.

I do notice people on the boards do tend to tear apart relationships, but you don't seem to have your commitment to it shaken, so I don't think that has been a problem.

ETA: by tear apart I mean disparage, not actually break up.

< Message edited by Nineveh -- 6/27/2010 8:23:21 PM >

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 78

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 8:36:26 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I also agree that it was a very good idea for you to post. You admit this is your very first BDSM relationship. I, for one, believe it is always good to learn how others do things. Some may work for you, some may not, but it can definately help you find your own way.

I didn't see you coming out as "bad" at all, although I would suggest you give some thought to what some of us said (I'm especially concerned about your statement about wanting what you don't deserve).

There are no hard and strict rules to this, only what you and your partner agree on. But it is very important to know that you don't have to agree to everything, especially being new. Why? Because things will come up that you hadn't thought about, and you need to be able to consider for yourself if some of those things are for you. All too often when someone enters their first relationship, they are told they MUST do what they are told, that that is the way it works and since you are now "owned" you don't get to decide otherwise. Yes, often deciding otherwise may mean the end of the relationship, but better to end the relationship with your integrity, values and morals intact than to feel forced into something you aren't comfortable with.

As usual, the "you" in that paragraph is the general "you" not you in particular. But still important to be aware of.

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 79

RE: owned but not collared.....wth? - 6/27/2010 9:22:03 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

think it was probably for the best that you did post. You haven't come out looking like a bad person and I don't think he has either.

per ninevah.....
ty but others have lambasted me tonight for posting.....that i have dishonored my M etc.
i do not feel i have because 1. we are not public here 2.i wanted others opinion of a topic.

i really appreciate the things i have read....and because it has made me think so much(ty lafayettelady)
i have been in tears for hours. yes this is my first experience....my heart is open and im so aware of my mistakes when i have input from others....instead of me continuing on learning nothing....experiencing nothing.

anyway time to for quit today
thanks gang

< Message edited by bestheadyet -- 6/27/2010 9:23:20 PM >

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 80

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