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Random Question - 7/2/2010 5:37:41 PM

BigDaddy723

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline

I was talking with a friend of mine lastnight. And it sparked a question. As a novice Dom, do you think it is possible as a submissive or slave, depending on your situation in life, can teach your Dom/Master/Owner, without changing the dynamic of the relationship?

I figured I would ask, I'm intrested in hearing what you all have to say...

So enlighten me, please..

Post #: 1

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 5:41:31 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Yes

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to BigDaddy723)

Post #: 2

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 5:45:14 PM

BigDaddy723

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline

Thanks, MagiksSlave.

So far that is two yes's,

Anyone else?

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 3

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 5:49:30 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

*lol* It's like any other relationship.
Children teach their parents...the needy teach those who have...the sub teaches the dom.
We are ALL here to teach and to learn.
It's often surprising who can teach us if we let them.
If you choose a submissive who is so far "below" you, you can't learn anything, perhaps you are too insecure to choose someone who is right for you. (this is the royal you, not the OP)
There's a good reason these threads are open to anyone (imo...without speaking to the owners of the website)
They seem to believe that we all have things to contribute.
Those who choose to serve are not less intelligent than those who would like to lead. We just have different...attractions.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 4

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 5:55:31 PM

BigDaddy723

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline

I know everyone has something to contribute, and I do value intelligence. I trust the answer my friend gave me, but I am phishing for other opnions. I am just curious at what others think...

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 5

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 5:58:01 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

I was talking with a friend of mine lastnight. And it sparked a question. As a novice Dom, do you think it is possible as a submissive or slave, depending on your situation in life, can teach your Dom/Master/Owner, without changing the dynamic of the relationship?

I figured I would ask, I'm intrested in hearing what you all have to say...

So enlighten me, please..

Of course. We teach each other in all types of relationships all the time. It wouldn't work for me during a scene to do it, but face it, every single time we're with someone new we "teach" them about us on both sides. Experience isn't really the end all, be all, especially when it changes drastically from person to person.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to BigDaddy723)

Post #: 6

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 6:01:21 PM

BigDaddy723

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline

Thanks Laurell.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 7

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 6:01:31 PM

Valyraen

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

I was talking with a friend of mine lastnight. And it sparked a question. As a novice Dom, do you think it is possible as a submissive or slave, depending on your situation in life, can teach your Dom/Master/Owner, without changing the dynamic of the relationship?

I figured I would ask, I'm intrested in hearing what you all have to say...

So enlighten me, please..

Granted, I'm not your target audience, but here's my input.

I was in that position when Kitten and I first hooked up. I knew nothing about BDSM - the theories, the practices, the implements, anything. She had far, far more experience than I did, going in, and basically had to start from the ground up with me, including being patient with me while I was adjusting to the thought that beating on someone was okay, even welcomed. Quite a bit of what I learned at the outset was the theory behind WIITWD, just wrapping my head around it.

Actually beating on her, she couldn't teach me - Kitten could tell me what she liked, what was pleasant for her, what she didn't like - but she couldn't teach me technique. Technique, like any other skill that I've developed, I had to learn on my own, getting my training on the job, so to speak. Hell, I'm still refining technique, and hopefully will continue to do so as long as I continue the practice of beatin' on her - it's one of those things I don't think I'm ever going to view as having mastered.

Unless your sub has experience on the other end of the whip, they can't really give you a demonstration of how they like to be beaten - they can only give you tips as you're doing it. My lil girl's a great teaching bottom because she gives instant feedback while still quite firmly in the role of bottom.

Can it be done? Sure - I'm living proof. You've just got to find a sub who's willing to teach.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

(in reply to BigDaddy723)

Post #: 8

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 6:09:46 PM

BigDaddy723

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline

There is no true "Target Audience" I thought posting here would be the easiest way to avoid some random posts. And any a input is good input when it comes from someone with more experience then me, no matter what side of the paddle they're on.

(in reply to Valyraen)

Post #: 9

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 7:05:36 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I have taught more than a few and it never changed our dynamic. It requires that both people be secure in themselves. Sometimes that is difficult to find.

(in reply to BigDaddy723)

Post #: 10

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 7:08:26 PM

BigDaddy723

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline

it takes a special person to be secure in themselves and in their relationship.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 11

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 7:11:47 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Every dynamic is a different thing, so who knows in what way it would be "changed"... of course it would impact it, but that is not necessarily a bad thing

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BigDaddy723)

Post #: 12

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 7:13:50 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I have pretty much taught most of the men in my life about BDSM. It did not change the hotness factor; it just added to it since they got to discover their inner Doms and I got to live out what I needed.

As someone else said, humans should be open to learning from one another regardless of orientation.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 13

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 7:31:07 PM

dove967

Posts: 102
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline

My Daddy was not "Daddy" when we first met. Now we did meet within the lifestyle,but, he asked me to simply address him as "Sir". I saw the Daddy/Dom in him right away, he had just never had a "little girl" before. After we had been together long enough to establish a certain level of trust, I asked him if I could address him as Daddy and he agreed. From that moment on, he came to discover and relish being a Daddy/Dom. He tells me I taught him about his true Dominant self I say he was that way when I met him. Either way, the fact that he has an open enough mind and heart to learn something from this little one makes me respect and admire him even more.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 14

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 7:36:16 PM

BigDaddy723

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline

Wow, thanks for all the great info everyone, please keep it comming

(in reply to dove967)

Post #: 15

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 7:39:11 PM

joey46

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/19/2009
Status: offline

No, I do not think that I can "teach" a dominant person with whom I am in relationship anything without changing the dynamics of the relationship. And that's good.

Any relationship that is not changing is dying in my limited experience.

Or, perhaps I am missing the meaning of "teach" in this context. If I am asked how to do something, that is like any other directive. When I comply and teach a Dom/Domme how to do something, it becomes theirs do do with as they will. I have never had one of these pieces of skill or knowledge come back around to me in exactly the form I passed it on and that can be incredibly powerful in itself, seeing what the particular man or woman makes of it.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 16

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 7:50:08 PM

BigDaddy723

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline

That is the a very similar responce to the one I got when I asked my friend

(in reply to joey46)

Post #: 17

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 8:33:13 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

From experience: ABSOLUTELY!

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(in reply to BigDaddy723)

Post #: 18

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 8:42:31 PM

BigDaddy723

Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline

I'm liking all the affermitive responces, again thank you everyone, keep it comming

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 19

RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 8:46:30 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

do you think it is possible as a submissive or slave, depending on your situation in life, can teach your Dom/Master/Owner, without changing the dynamic of the relationship?

Of course they can. To think that they couldn't would imply that the Dom/Domme in question was omniscient. Which they clearly are not.

I meet far too many Doms/Dommes who allow themselves to become caricatures, rather than real people. They try to take on the persona of an uber-Dom. They act as though they are right all of the time. Moreover, even when they are wrong, they want the sub to behave as though they are right. To me, this displays the saddest form of low self-esteem and self-delusion. I could never submit to a Domme like this. It shows that she lacks a true image of herself, and it also shows that she doesn't value the knowledge and skills that I bring to the table.

Bottom line: If you accept that it is okay to learn from your sub, you will open the door to acquire a higher grade of sub. If your sub has to lack the capacity to teach you anything, then your only viable candidates for submission will be complete morons. Think about it.

(in reply to BigDaddy723)

Post #: 20

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