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RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 8:47:24 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		ONly idiots will think that someone can't teach them. I care not for being around idiots. Thank you very much.

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RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 9:20:58 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		I agree with you both whole-heartedly. I expect to learn alot from my subs no matter who they are. I appericate someone with a wide depth of knowledge it puts things in perspective for me. And just so it is clear. I appericate you A. And you know who you are.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Random Question - 7/2/2010 9:25:26 PM   
Ayamuz


Posts: 19
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Wow thank you for this question, as it was a concern of mine as well. I am fairly new the this lifestyle, though I am getting great advice and tips from people in my local community, I felt there was only so much you can learn by watching or reading, as it is important to me to know what I'm doing, both for safety and mutual enjoyment. It makes me pleased to know, though it may seem obvious, that it is not unusual that this dynamic happens. Again thank you for your comment

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
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RE: Random Question - 7/3/2010 10:16:43 AM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		No problem Ayamuz,

Not really a concern for me. I just wanted to know what others think. It is something I activly believe in. I have just been lucky enough so far to meet people who are indulgent of my curosity.

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RE: Random Question - 7/3/2010 11:22:40 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		FR having only read the OP

Of course.   If he is a novice I could teach him about aspects of bdsm and D/s.  I could also give some guidance to a more experienced dominant about how to get more reactions out of me.  Though they then could use this information in any way they choose.

In general though there would be a lot that I could teach my dominant simply because as two people we would both have different skills and abilities.  For example, I may be able to teach him how to be less stressed or how to appreciate the small things in life and he could teach me how the hell maths works ... none of this would impact on the fact that he is the dominant and I am the submissive.


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(in reply to BigDaddy723)
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RE: Random Question - 7/3/2010 12:11:52 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		It is always nice to have my thought process validated. Thank you all for inflating my ego a bit more..

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Random Question - 7/3/2010 5:06:01 PM   
MagisterCapto


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline 		Sure they can - there is hardly a human being, that you can't learn something from. (If only in some *how not to do it* way.) And of course, in an actual relationship, everyone but the most ignorant of dom(me)s would eventually learn something from their sub.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Random Question - 7/3/2010 7:01:18 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		I think you kind of miss understood my question a little MagisterCapto. It is not if the Dom can learn from the sub, It was does the Dom learning from the sub change the dynamic of power between them?

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Random Question - 7/4/2010 9:10:49 AM   
fragilepieces


Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

I think you kind of miss understood my question a little. It is not if the Dom can learn from the sub, It was does the Dom learning from the sub change the dynamic of power between them?

Imho, it depends how the learning process goes . Since I am no longer involved in the lifestyle---I'll put a vanilla twist on it. Let's say we both have an avid interest in a certain area, randomly picked psychology. I have more of a back ground that he does, lets say I majored in it and he is merely fascinated by it and hasn't ever taken a class. We talk about it and he actively engages in learning more about it on his own. When we talk again, he has absorbed a few things and our discussion gets more intense, because he has taken time out to learn on his own and because people think and absorb material in a different way, he can provide his own intake on things. Through that we learn and feed off each other.

Let's just say though that I teach him everything I know about psychology and he accepts everything I say without question. He never indulges in any self learning. Just feeds his knowledge from me. If I continue to feed my interest (psychology is a good random choice because it constantly changes) I will continue to grow and depending whether we continue to discuss it or not he will always be at least one step behind me.

From a bd/sm stand point. I can see where it can change the dynamic. If one person grows and changes and the other person stays stagnant the relationship is bound to change.

(in reply to BigDaddy723)
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RE: Random Question - 7/4/2010 11:31:46 AM   
MagisterCapto


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

I think you kind of miss understood my question a little MagisterCapto. It is not if the Dom can learn from the sub, It was does the Dom learning from the sub change the dynamic of power between them?


How could it possibly change the dynamic of a relationship? Assuming there is no vast gap between the mental abilities of the dom and the sub, admitting to be wrong at times, and accepting that living means learning, does not make one less off a dom, just less of an idiot.
it is those, who learn faster, we regard as smart, and those who refuse to learn, we rightfully call stupid.
If on the other hand, the aforementioned gap exists, I can see where your coming from, though I could hardly imagine such a relationship to work, anyway.

(in reply to BigDaddy723)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Random Question - 7/4/2010 12:35:30 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		There better be!  There will be teaching if she has something to teach and I am open to learn.  

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RE: Random Question - 7/4/2010 2:15:31 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		The whole question came about after a conversation with a friend of mine I will call him "A" who has an overly inflated ego, But that is a topic for a diffrent discussion, but we were talking about how his sub "C" having been a boys scout tried to show him a diffrent way of tieing some knots, A, was upset and was venting to me about how he felt like C, was trying to top him from the bottom. I dissmissed his claim and told him there are more then one knot and to go looks some up. But It made me think, and I wanted to know what other people thoughts were.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Random Question - 7/4/2010 3:33:14 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		I came into my current relationship with about three years experience, while my Sir had no solid experience, just a lot of dominant tendencies.  I was able to teach him what I like and how I enjoy being treated...that's all it took, he ran with it, and is now surprising me with new and fun things.
So, yes.  If the dominant is willing to learn, and the submissive not to weirded out to share their knowledge, why not?


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(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Random Question - 7/5/2010 12:31:24 AM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		Once again Thank you all for your insight. You are all confirming for me what was much my own thoughts on the subject.

(in reply to FetishRose)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Random Question - 7/7/2010 11:03:50 AM   
kuppykake


Posts: 125
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		If the Dom/Master/Owner is teachable, as I believe any respectable one should be, then yes it is possible.  I believe  having an open mind is very important with any relationship... both parties need to be willing to learn everything they can from their partner.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Random Question - 7/7/2010 5:21:48 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the input, I appericate it.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Random Question - 7/7/2010 6:04:19 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

As a novice Dom, do you think it is possible as a submissive or slave, depending on your situation in life, can teach your Dom/Master/Owner, without changing the dynamic of the relationship?

Let me add on to the pile by saying yes. While I ideally see the Master or Mistress as the intellectual superior, that is not to say they always are, or that even if they are, that they cannot learn from a slave. The Master or Mistress must have the maturity, openness and self security to accept being taught by the slave from time to time, however. All temperaments are different, of course, so YMMV.



< Message edited by MarcEsadrian -- 7/7/2010 6:05:18 PM >

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RE: Random Question - 7/7/2010 6:10:23 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the input. It is good to see that I am not cingular in my thought process.

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Random Question - 7/7/2010 7:22:49 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

Thanks for the input. It is good to see that I am not cingular in my thought process.

Certainly not, though I must confess the temptation of declaring I am so wise that I cannot be taught anything anymore.

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(in reply to BigDaddy723)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Random Question - 7/7/2010 7:25:17 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		Hey I am still new to this, so I can want to learn what I can from everyone and anyone

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 40
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