Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Random Question


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Random Question Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 6:12:33 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

Certainly not, though I must confess the temptation of declaring I am so wise that I cannot be taught anything anymore.


That's quite a confession. But I must admit, you phrased it...wisely.



_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 9:42:32 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Yes.

Honestly my domly mojo is not something I can lose under the bed or in the nightstand drawer. Carol's submissive personality isn't going to get misplaced or forgotten. Nothing can change the dynamic between us short of some radical alteration in the core personality of one or both of us. So there is not, nor can there ever be, any sort of threat to our dynamic.

On the other hand, having a life partner who can actually contribute to my life has a lot of appeal.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to BigDaddy723)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 9:47:28 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723
A, was upset and was venting to me about how he felt like C, was trying to top him from the bottom.
I personally find the entire phrase "topping from the bottom" to be suspect. SimplyMicheal once said, "If your sub is topping you from the bottom, that means your bottoming from the top." Carol can try to get her way. Whether I choose to interpret that as an authority-grab and whether I allow it is entirely up to me.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to BigDaddy723)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 1:03:55 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

I was talking with a friend of mine lastnight. And it sparked a question. As a novice Dom, do you think it is possible as a submissive or slave, depending on your situation in life, can teach your Dom/Master/Owner, without changing the dynamic of the relationship?


BigDaddy723,

In my opinion effective leaders utilize their resources. If the slave possesses knowledge that would benefit the dominant its dismissal would lead me to question if he did such due to her station or for ego preservation. Her input wouldn't erode the dynamic unless its foundation was questionable from the start. Speaking from my own experiences, I prefer men more adept than myself. Their presence provides opportunities for growth and advancement. Mine is never static and his commitment to furtherance assures continued sustenance on my end. However, it's unlikely that we'll arrive with identical experiences or levels of intelligence. I don't view that as problematic, but see it as an opportunity to glean from the other and capitalize on the attributes presented.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to BigDaddy723)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 2:12:41 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
In my opinion effective leaders utilize their resources. If the slave possesses knowledge that would benefit the dominant its dismissal would lead me to question if he did such due to her station or for ego preservation.
Oh come now... that's not really a question, is it? And what, exactly does "due to her station" mean? Pragmatically, if Carol has a better thought/idea/suggestion than my own idea and I dismiss it then I am absolutely choosing an inferior path. So I've done something stupid "because of her station"?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 2:38:11 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Oh come now... that's not really a question, is it? And what, exactly does "due to her station" mean? Pragmatically, if Carol has a better thought/idea/suggestion than my own idea and I dismiss it then I am absolutely choosing an inferior path. So I've done something stupid "because of her station"?


Jeff,

I attempted to say that in a delicate fashion. In short I'm suggesting that he believes her position makes her inferior to him and his ego and role allows him to validate those ideas and dismiss hers when they exceed his in a manner he finds uncomfortable. Some people have a real problem with the subordinate besting them. He needs to maintain her position a few pegs lower for safekeeping.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 2:39:36 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		Leadership,
I happen to agree with you that the phrase is suspect. And the knowledge I am gleaning from everyone is that the only way the dynamic can change is of some radical shift is allowed to let the dynamic change. Again that was my view from the begning, I just wanted to know what others thoughts on it were, as well as seeing if there was anyone who thinks, like my friend, that it would change the dynamic. I see however that if there are any they have chosen not to reply to this post.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 3:37:25 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
I attempted to say that in a delicate fashion

*chuckles* And I went ahead like a bull in a china shop and de-pc'd it.

@Bigdaddy
In my own little corner of reality (not to be confused with anyone else's reality or any one true way), I tend to keep things simple. I don't believe in all the intangibles like "stations", "roles", "hearts", "energy" or whatnot. What I believe in is very pragmatic. Carol is submissive to me because in our relationship, I give the commands and she obeys them. She's my slave because she has never disobeyed (hence the "total" part of TPE). That is the essence of D/s from a social sense -- who's giving the orders and who's obeying them.

What's interesting about that is that with this view, it becomes obvious that there are lots and lots of situations where no command was given hence there is no D/s interaction. For instance, Carol might of her own accord decide that we needed a better diet and make some suggestions about new meal plans or even just go ahead and implement them. Since I've given no command, then there is no "topping from the bottom" or any other related thing going on -- in fact there is no D/s interaction at all.

In addition, as I like to say, "There's a lot of ground between an initial idea on my part and a command." We frequently have significant back and forth when I give some command, she provides input, details, further insights, and/or alternate viewpoints. Again, none of that is any skin off my nose. At any point I can say "OK, I've made a decision. We're doing X" and it's a done deal. That is the only point which matters to me. That is the place where her collar hinges on unhesitating and total obedience. When we reach that point, I will say to her, "Listen and obey me mine." That way there's no confusion about expectations.

As I said above, it's just how I do it. But it sounds like you might be of a similar mind so I thought I'd elaborate.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 3:47:55 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the elabortation. And the question itself hinged from a conversation I had with a friend of mine about his sub offering to teach him some new knots. The first thought in my head was "Sounds like fun, lets go." which would have also been my frist reaction. However it wasn't my friends, he was upset and felt his dominance was threatened, which confused me a bit. So I brought it here to see if I was a singularity in my though process as a whole, which I can see I am not.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 3:50:51 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

I was talking with a friend of mine lastnight. And it sparked a question. As a novice Dom, do you think it is possible as a submissive or slave, depending on your situation in life, can teach your Dom/Master/Owner, without changing the dynamic of the relationship?

I figured I would ask, I'm intrested in hearing what you all have to say...

So enlighten me, please..
I've said it before elsewhere and I'll say it here...I've learned all KINDS of things from submissives and it didn't threaten my dominant core one teeny little bit. 

(in reply to BigDaddy723)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 4:10:37 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

*chuckles* And I went ahead like a bull in a china shop and de-pc'd it.


Jeff,

Of course you did. You're wicked that way. I believe there's a sincere interest in owning a girl that's very adept, but the ramifications of that are usually where challenges arise. Keeping her pigeonholed gives him the glory of calling her his without the consequences of her outpacing him. Limiting activities that might contribute to this is a nifty way of combating its occurrence. I'm speaking theoretically of course.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Random Question - 7/8/2010 6:17:56 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		Alot of intresting views, I am enjoying this.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Random Question - 7/10/2010 2:08:40 AM   
alandra2


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline 		The one thing I have learnt is no matter how experienced you are you never stop learning, all Masters learn from their slaves and each new experience teaches both something new.

Never be afraid to admit it is your first time at trying something, every single one of us has been there. Take advice if needed from others that have the experience, make sure you know of the safety implications and be guided by your bottom and your instincts.

Most importantly of all take your time, there is always tomorrow and the learning is half the fun.

So 'yes' is the answer to your question.

Have fun for yrs to come hun, and if you need advice....Master or myself would be happy to share our experiences with you but please bare in mind that although we have a vast range of experiences between us....we are still learning ourselves xxx

(in reply to BigDaddy723)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Random Question - 7/10/2010 8:08:50 AM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the responce. And I think it is the absolute truth, you should never stop learning.

(in reply to alandra2)
Profile   Post #: 54
Random Answer - 7/10/2010 4:56:50 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		I am filled with Random facts and trivia. In this sense I am simply playing a part as an informer.

If information can be accredited to experience that is simply what the submissive gives and the dominant takes.

Other factors come into play. How hard is hard? How soft does it tease? What is the difference between ecstasy and torture? Safe and Dangerous?

Informational Servitude.




_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to BigDaddy723)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Random Answer - 7/10/2010 6:37:37 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		That is an intretsing view. Thanks for sharing.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Random Question - 7/12/2010 3:16:48 AM   
patina


Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline 		I admit i am lazy and did not read all the replies. If you are asking about teaching things outside of the lifestyle, then --yes.-- A past Master and i were discussing a variety of things one evening and we got on the subject of special needs students. He had the old way of looking at it. As i am an advocate in that field i know a lot of the issues dealing with those kids so i taught him a different way of understanding and he said later he was glad we had talked and he had learned a lot.

Now years later i have been trying to explain and educate my current Master about my applachia culture. He said he never knew we had so many differences from the standard American culture he is Canadian i am American/applachian.

i hope this helps. He feels it is good for the Master to learn from the slave, he said we all grew up differently so we each have learned things the other has not. Why should he not learn from me? He just expects me to teach him in a respectful way.


patina


_____________________________

a diamond in the rough

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Random Question - 7/12/2010 4:08:36 AM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the reply Patina, your reply seems to concur with most of the others. But I wasn't just speaking of outside the lifestyle. I had a discussion with a friend of mine which lead to me posting the thread here.

(in reply to patina)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Random Question - 7/12/2010 4:32:09 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDaddy723

I was talking with a friend of mine lastnight. And it sparked a question. As a novice Dom, do you think it is possible as a submissive or slave, depending on your situation in life, can teach your Dom/Master/Owner, without changing the dynamic of the relationship?

I figured I would ask, I'm intrested in hearing what you all have to say...

So enlighten me, please..


I actually think, that unless it's technique or something, that it would be difficult for me. I can't teach him how to be a dominant or a master. I can't teach him how to grab power and keep it, mold it to his desires, use it at his whim etc. Teaching him simple techniques would not alter the dynamic but if I felt that he required teaching in some other area, especially an area I didn't know that well myself, I think that would alter the dynamic for us in a significant manner because then it becomes *my way* rather than *his way* if that makes sense. I follow his path because that's the path that appeals to me. If I'm going to set the path, what do I need with a dominant? I can't do give and take with my power where some days I'll have it and other days I don't. I need more consistancy and if I were the one with the plow carving out the direction we are going I really believe I would be hard pressed to turn the machine back over to someone who had already demonstrated they weren't sure what to do with it.

I would worry that if there was something that I thought was right for us and he disagreed then a power struggle would ensue that could change or even destroy the dynamic. I am not his teacher to lead him or advice him on what should be natural to him and if it's not natural to him, I think I've been around long enough that I would recognize it and.. frankly, it would turn me off if what he is in reality has to be learned behavior. In any event, my preference would be that he find himself a mentor who is actually dominant and not rely on me to show him the ropes .. in a manner of speaking. I don't mind a few Clark Kent moments on occasion, but the majority of the time, I'm more interested in Superman.. or, at least, Lex Luthor, yanno? :D There's just something about evil genius ...



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to BigDaddy723)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Random Question - 7/12/2010 2:35:19 PM   
BigDaddy723


Posts: 275
Joined: 5/7/2010
Status: offline 		That makes sense. If you have to teach a dominant to dominate, then is he really dominant...
However in terms of the question I was more curious about technique

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Random Question Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109