RE: Do-me dominants?

RE: Do-me dominants? (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:07:04 AM)
But I'm a woman Can't you see what I am I live and breathe for you What good does it do If I ain't got you If I ain't got you If I ain't got you If I ain't got you Say you don't know What it's like Baby you don't know what it's like To love somebody To love somebody The way I love you

Jeffff -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:07:20 AM)
Doesn't it all come down to compatibility? Whether it is a longterm relationship, or a hot weekend. If folks aren't compatible it is not going to be as good as it could have. Haven't many of us driven home and thought, "fuck I wish that hadn't happened" Learn or stagnate.

juliaoceania -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:12:53 AM)
quote: Learn or stagnate. Yep

BeingChewsie -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:18:22 AM)
quote: I think there has to be a tremendous amount of compatibility for a one sided "do me" relationship to work. If he always picked things to do that I completely hated, then it would crash and burn eventually. We are lucky that the things he likes to do match with the things that I like to do...for the most part. It makes it much easier to give up that control to him. Compatibility is huge. We still say to each other that we could not have done a better job in choosing each other if we had been able to custom order one another. I think when you are very well suited to each other in most areas of personality or likes/dislikes it makes areas where you diverge easier to swallow. At least for me it does. I think Michael hit on a point that can't be hammered home enough about not jumping in or settling for something that doesn't meet a majority of your needs or where you have a shred of doubt about his/her ability to lead in an effective/productive way that benefits you both in the ways you need it too.

Jeffff -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:31:49 AM)
Ok. maybe I am odd.... ok... I know I am...but anyway. my needs change. To me, compatibility is more some one who has the ability to change also. It is probably a function of the internet, but so many people here have their shit set in stone. While I do have a few principles that I will not violate, the rest of me tends to change and shift. My major need, is "don't be a dumbass". Oddly enough, that's not as easy as it sounds..:)

juliaoceania -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:37:23 AM)
I think you and laurell are so well suited because she has voiced those sentiments in the past on these boards... I remember well because I agreed with her. Life is weird, and nothing stays the same. I would rather have someone that was a constant for me in that they were committed to seeing it through then a "role" that never changed. You are not alone.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:39:55 AM)
I would like to learn to be a do me dominant! People should do stuff while I ignore them, and send me monies! The hard part for me is figuring out how I get satisfaction from that kind of thing.... [8\|]

juliaoceania -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:41:36 AM)
I just want them to send me monies... screw telling em what to do, they can figure that out for themselves...

LadyPact -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:42:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Ok. maybe I am odd.... ok... I know I am...but anyway. my needs change. To me, compatibility is more some one who has the ability to change also. It is probably a function of the internet, but so many people here have their shit set in stone. While I do have a few principles that I will not violate, the rest of me tends to change and shift. My major need, is "don't be a dumbass". Oddly enough, that's not as easy as it sounds..:) That's the problem with many of these conversations, Jeffff. Too many of these topics, folks act like there is only ever one drive, one motivation for their interactions. That really isn't how it goes. Very few things in life have some kind of singular focus. It's rare in life that we ever do things for one reason alone. There might be a primary thing that drives us at the moment, but the secondaries are still in there. The next time around, what was secondary the last time might become the primary. We're not one dimensional creatures by a long shot. When someone comes along and proclaims they want to be a Dominant because they want to be in charge, they are skipping all of the other stuff that goes with it. If you asked them all of the reasons they wanted to be the person in authority, you're more than likely going to end up with a list, rather than just that one reason.

mstrjx -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:42:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus The hard part for me is figuring out how I get satisfaction from that kind of thing.... [8\|] The monies. Jeff

juliaoceania -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:44:47 AM)
Yeah, money can be its own reward[:D]

lally2 -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:46:54 AM)
the thing is you can have compatibility and be with a 'do me' Dom - granted he wised up eventually but i do remember a convo where i said something like 'i need some gentleness too' and he basically said 'this isnt about youre pleasure'. as SM said or at least intimated it is a bit of a learning curve for some Doms who find the concept of giving to their sub a bit confusing - i think it is confusion because im damn sure they havent gone their entire lives taking and never giving. but here the message is that its all about them, period and yes, the relationship burns out because its actually soulless to be constantly giving into a big black gaping hole and thats what taking creates - a situation of constantly having to satisfy a demanding void thats always demanding more, more, more - what else can it do but take if it hasnt conceived the notion of giving back. but basically i agree that if you find someone who wants what you want then youre home.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:54:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Yeah, money can be its own reward[:D] Yeah... but I don't go through life with my hand out. I would feel like a piker taking bux for nothing! I would have to open my own church!! THEN I could do it![;)]

Jeffff -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:54:55 AM)
"Do me dom" "Service top", "Master", Owner", Wannabe" "Fake" , "real" True", "sub", " slave"........ I am Jeff, I will have what I want. Anyone may feel free to refer to me as they wish. One nice thing about being me. I don't need no stinking validation..:)

laurell3 -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:56:45 AM)
Daddy?

Jeffff -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 9:57:39 AM)
Ok..... there is one.......

KnightofMists -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 11:01:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Ok. maybe I am odd.... ok... I know I am...but anyway. my needs change. To me, compatibility is more some one who has the ability to change also. It is probably a function of the internet, but so many people here have their shit set in stone. While I do have a few principles that I will not violate, the rest of me tends to change and shift. My major need, is "don't be a dumbass". Oddly enough, that's not as easy as it sounds..:) I would say adaptablity is more important in my world... than compatiability. With us three there are some things that we are very much compatiable with. But, there is far more things that we have adapted towards in order to make a go of this relationship. Secondly, I don't see adapting as being the same as compromising. To me... compromising is the settling for less than what you want for the betterment of the relationship. Adapting to me is the changing of what you want for the betterment of the relationship.

Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 11:05:50 AM)
If you two get any cuter, posting lyrics back and forth, you're both out of the will! I do love that Aerosmith tune, though I thank everyone for their response -- seems like compatibility, and the realization that we're ALL human, and have needs, are key.

Jeffff -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 11:25:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I would say adaptablity is more important in my world... than compatiability. With us three there are some things that we are very much compatiable with. But, there is far more things that we have adapted towards in order to make a go of this relationship. Secondly, I don't see adapting as being the same as compromising. To me... compromising is the settling for less than what you want for the betterment of the relationship. Adapting to me is the changing of what you want for the betterment of the relationship. Yes, I could not agree more.

DomImus -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 11:47:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Our own lovely lally made a comment on the do-me sub thread, asking about "do-me dominants". Is there such a thing? And the one thing that popped into my head was, is being a dominant, by its nature, something that leans towards "do-me-ism"?? Obey me? Make me happy? My way or the highway? I suppose that's one way to look at it. You have succeeded in condensing the 'do-me' discussion down to its essence: the person doing the 'do-me' thing is the one calling the shots. Now, ask yourself... which side of the slash is (by definition) designed to be calling the shots?

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