RE: Do-me dominants? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 2:27:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

This is an over-simplification of the way I see it, but it might make sense. If we had just enough money to get one cream dessert and he told me to go get it. And he wanted a fudge brownie thingy with all the fixings on it and I just wanted a scoop of chocolate. I would go get the fudge brownie thingy with all the fixings on it because that's what he wanted. Why? Because him getting what he wanted would make me happier than him settling for just a scoop of chocolate.

Now if we had enough money to get 2 desserts and everytime he insisted that I get what he got, then I would see that as a "his way" only relationship.

I know it's an over-simplification. And relationships are not that simple, but yet sometimes, they seem like they can be if both partners are on the same page.


[8D][8D][8D]

And I think he would notice that, and make damn sure you knew how much you were appreciated for it, k.



Missokyst -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 2:51:52 PM)

I totally get putting his desires above your own for that instance. My question is, IF his needs were the only ones that needed to be met, would you stick with it? I had a friend whose relationship started out great! Lots of play, lots of sex, everyone was happy. Then after a year it went from play, to his idea that play would always be her on her knees, giving him a BJ. After that first year, the idea that she needed pleasure beyond what pleasure she was supposed to get from giving that BJ became non existant. Why? He told her that as his slave it was not about her pleasure, but his. She kicked him out on their 2nd year together.

When I see people saying they are content making sure his needs are met and that that is all they need.. I wonder if they have no needs of their own.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

This is an over-simplification of the way I see it, but it might make sense. If we had just enough money to get one cream dessert and he told me to go get it. And he wanted a fudge brownie thingy with all the fixings on it and I just wanted a scoop of chocolate. I would go get the fudge brownie thingy with all the fixings on it because that's what he wanted. Why? Because him getting what he wanted would make me happier than him settling for just a scoop of chocolate.

Now if we had enough money to get 2 desserts and everytime he insisted that I get what he got, then I would see that as a "his way" only relationship.

I know it's an over-simplification. And relationships are not that simple, but yet sometimes, they seem like they can be if both partners are on the same page.




jujubeeMB -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 2:58:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Do me sub! [8D]

No, I'm sure you look great in your short shorts, etc. Did the doms telling you how to dress dislike such a look, or were they just fashion-challenged?


Yes, that's right. Do me! [:D]

Oh, and absolutely. Fashion-challenged. I am a genius with clothing [:)]



Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 3:14:37 PM)

quote:

Missokyst:

He told her that as his slave it was not about her pleasure, but his. She kicked him out on their 2nd year together.


I just love the advances in slavery, from the olden days! [8D]

quote:

jujubee:

Oh, and absolutely. Fashion-challenged. I am a genius with clothing


Well, I can understand how that would make it tougher to obey them (IF you were in a relationship with them, that is)! Let's say Rembrandt was a submissive, and his dominant told him to ONLY draw stick figures. Tough to swallow? Sure. That's where one has to decide what is of more value to them, and there really is not a wrong answer. Personally, I'd call that dominant a dumbass, and cheer ol Remmy on to keep painting. It's all in what we value.

Now, girl genius... [:D] .... I'm purty good with the stylin' too, but it's hard to tell, as I pretty much stick to jeans and simple shirts. But I got the eye, never doubt that....



lally2 -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 3:18:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I totally get putting his desires above your own for that instance. My question is, IF his needs were the only ones that needed to be met, would you stick with it? I had a friend whose relationship started out great! Lots of play, lots of sex, everyone was happy. Then after a year it went from play, to his idea that play would always be her on her knees, giving him a BJ. After that first year, the idea that she needed pleasure beyond what pleasure she was supposed to get from giving that BJ became non existant. Why? He told her that as his slave it was not about her pleasure, but his. She kicked him out on their 2nd year together.

When I see people saying they are content making sure his needs are met and that that is all they need.. I wonder if they have no needs of their own.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

This is an over-simplification of the way I see it, but it might make sense. If we had just enough money to get one cream dessert and he told me to go get it. And he wanted a fudge brownie thingy with all the fixings on it and I just wanted a scoop of chocolate. I would go get the fudge brownie thingy with all the fixings on it because that's what he wanted. Why? Because him getting what he wanted would make me happier than him settling for just a scoop of chocolate.

Now if we had enough money to get 2 desserts and everytime he insisted that I get what he got, then I would see that as a "his way" only relationship.

I know it's an over-simplification. And relationships are not that simple, but yet sometimes, they seem like they can be if both partners are on the same page.




the way it feels to me is that i dont need to have needs if my needs are taken care of - they just dont equate as needs anymore.  they only equate as needs when theyre not being met.

sooo, in a way i dont have any needs



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 3:44:17 PM)

quote:

the way it feels to me is that i dont need to have needs if my needs are taken care of - they just dont equate as needs anymore. they only equate as needs when theyre not being met.

sooo, in a way i dont have any needs


I love, love, love the way you said this lally! It's exactly the way I feel too



Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 4:09:12 PM)

But....

I need to breathe. The need is being met, but it is still there.



Missokyst -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 4:11:48 PM)

If that was the case, then the dominant would have no needs to be met either. 
let's take the case of my friend and her former owner.  His needs were being met by the BJ's.  But even though he got them at least twice per day, he still needed them, wanted them, demanded them. 
Needs, whether they are met or not, are still there.  If I have an orgasm today, should I be satified and not need any more?  For how long? 
Needs, are desires.  Mine just keep coming and hopefully so do I. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2
the way it feels to me is that i dont need to have needs if my needs are taken care of - they just dont equate as needs anymore.  they only equate as needs when theyre not being met.

sooo, in a way i dont have any needs



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 4:12:55 PM)

It's hard to explain, Level, I honestly don't feel the need to keep track of my needs when I'm with a man. It seems that they are being met without needing to articulate them. That's the closest I can come to explaining. Do you understand?

Oh and I love it when a Dominant does me [8D]

edited for stray "I"



Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 4:18:27 PM)

zephy, I think I gotcha there, the needs still exist, but if they're being met, then it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind"?



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 4:20:39 PM)

Yes, that's exactly it! I only notice them if they aren't being met.



Missokyst -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 4:32:17 PM)

I wonder if submissive personalities are more likely to deny they have needs, not because they don't need them to be met.. but because they don't want to admit a hint of selfishness?  Most subs I know have their needs met and that is why they go out of their way to make sure their mates are content. 



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 4:49:03 PM)

I'm not denying I have needs......I guess a better way of putting it is that I don't keep score, I don't fixate on whether they are being met. Like I said before, I notice when they AREN'T being met rather than when they ARE because well they're being met



kallisto -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 4:55:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I wonder if submissive personalities are more likely to deny they have needs, not because they don't need them to be met.. but because they don't want to admit a hint of selfishness?  Most subs I know have their needs met and that is why they go out of their way to make sure their mates are content. 



Great question and point made. I don't know if it's so much a denial, but for me it's hard to be selfish if I don't have a reason to be selfish.

If tonight his need is to leave me rode hard and put up wet, with no orgasm, but this morning and last night and the time before that he made sure I had multiple orgasms, how could I be selfish tonight and hollar, "it was all about you and you didn't give me an orgasm?" This would be one of those times where my need of him getting what he wanted would fulfill my need of happiness/satisfaction. It wouldn't negate my need to orgasm, but it certainly would not be an issue.

I think when it became a one way street is when I would become selfish. I think someone else (Level??, lally??) said it as well, when my needs are being met, they are not at the forefront - out of sight, out of mind.



DomImus -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:19:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
So a dominant must have a "my way or the highway" sorta attitude or he is marketing himself incorrectly?


I was actually referring to submissives with a 'do me my way or you don't get to do me' attitude.



juliaoceania -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:20:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
So a dominant must have a "my way or the highway" sorta attitude or he is marketing himself incorrectly?


I was actually referring to submissives with a 'do me my way or you don't get to do me' attitude.



OOOhhhhhhh... I am slightly dense sometimes...



heartcream -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:39:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I used to be full of hope for such things, but then people began calling me a dick, and that just ruined it. [X(]


Oh dear. But you were a dick, you even admitted it [8|]. You know that didnt ruin a thing! Picnic?



Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:42:25 PM)

LOL, noooo, I admitted that I *am* a dick, sometimes, but that probably wasn't one of those times [:D]

And yeah, me and you, and a picnic [;)]



heartcream -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:46:14 PM)

Okay no problems thank you Level. Sorry, too.[:)]



Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:58:12 PM)

Nothing to be sorry about, my friend.



Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
5.859375E-02