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RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 8:10:09 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		I am probably saying the same thing Laurell and Katy are saying but...

I only seek to have a relationship, and one that is exclusive.  The one time I did have it, everything flowed so easily, there was none of the doubt and omg is he right and will I get what I want and am I doing the right thing and all that.

We clicked, it was all great and it was almost seamless for as long as it lasted.  Even when it ended, it was still damn near perfect, if that makes sense.

It may be because of that relationship that I expect it to be be that easy again.  I think, if it is right, it will flow easily, each person will get what they want and need, and there wont be a lot of drama.

Course, I may be losing out on something great, because I expect it to be that way from the beginning, but life has always worked that way for me when something was right.  I am not willing to put a lot of time into wondering and drama and trying to figure out what I need to do to make him happy or what I need for him to do to make me happy.

It just happens, like it was meant to be.  Or it doesn't.  Either way, I will be fine.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 8:11:52 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

But....

I need to breathe. The need is being met, but it is still there.


if you were in the cake shop with Kalisto and you needed that choccy fudge brownie on a visceral level, had all the sprinklies and eat it all up would you need more choccy fudge brownie on a visceral level still - and dont say yes, cos thats just greedy  - as the others have said, if a need is met it stops being something you really need and want and miss.  like for me, i need a certain amount of gentleness during sex sometimes and with one guy i missed that so much, it wasnt a massive thing, but after we broke up and later when we thought about getting back to gether that was one of the things that stopped me.

.... and thanks for the really lovely intro earlier, made me feel all nice and stuff


Ummmmmmmmchocolatefugebrowniething.......

Thanks for explaining, lally, and I'm glad I made you feel nice, pretty one.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 8:18:15 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


It's like reverse CM day for some odd reason.


We are high from having a day off from work!


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 8:41:29 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		JstAnotherSub, I had similar experiences when I was a submissive for 3 years and a slave for 1 year. Things wound up not working out for reasons that were unrelated to the power exchange, and that part always worked and felt not just easy for me, but difficult and upsetting to do anything contrary to what they wanted of me.

Maria, I think what laurell is saying is similar to what I experienced. In any relationship I've been in, I wanted my partner to be happy and to do things for him, but if I am submissive toward him, I feel compelled and driven to serve his needs in any way I can. I want to be useful and used in a way that goes beyond what I have experienced in other dynamics. It's not selfless, I get pleasure from making him happy, from feeling useful and wanted and meeting his needs. It doesn't mean I never want anything or have needs of my own, but if we're reasonably compatible, a lot of my needs will be met in the course of meeting his. Both my former Master and my former Dominant encouraged me to ask for things I wanted or needed. Sometimes the answer was no, or more often, "Not right now," but they couldn't read my mind. So, part of what they wanted of me was transparency and communication.

Someone said earlier that they define a "do-me dominant" as someone who just wants their kink needs met, and doesn't care about the person who fills them, or even view them as a person with thoughts, needs, and desires. I agree, and I think it's important in any relationship for both people to get their needs and at least some of their wants fulfilled.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 8:43:42 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		It is definite compatibility. I think a lot of times people forget how much dominants do for us. My life has been made better, fuller, and more joyous when I am with someone who has inspired me to submit. And while I am prone to do anything for my mate once he is part of my life, his being there was not gone into lightly. He did something for me. We did things for each other. It might seem like it is the sub doing the giving but if the dominant.. .. well heck, the person, nilla or kinked did not also do their part to getting needs and wants met, they probably won't last long.
It took me a long time to realise this point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Much of it does depend on compatibility, I don't think any of us would purposely set out to build a relationship only to find out that we could not bridge the important stuff, we would probably write those potentials off early in the game.  I can be close to selfless with the right person.  Yet I understand that if my needs and some of my wants are not being met, I do become resentful and things get difficult.


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 9:14:08 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

It is definite compatibility. I think a lot of times people forget how much dominants do for us. My life has been made better, fuller, and more joyous when I am with someone who has inspired me to submit.


yay for Dominants - im a fan!

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 10:47:26 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Truly, we are the selfless ones

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 11:36:15 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Truly, we are the selfless ones



pffft! 
                                                                 

                                  

< Message edited by lally2 -- 7/5/2010 11:40:11 AM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 12:27:08 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Truly, we are the selfless ones







And lally, I just spit tea all over my keyboard. Thanks for the laugh.

< Message edited by kallisto -- 7/5/2010 12:32:49 PM >

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 12:51:57 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Truly, we are the selfless ones







And lally, I just spit tea all over my keyboard. Thanks for the laugh.


 - !

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 2:24:20 PM   
Michael3001


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline 		I live to be used, that's my kink.  I get off on situations being unequal.  I want it to be about her.  She needs to be a "DO ME" dom or else I  can't get into serving her.   Thats what gets me hard.  What doesn't get me hard is a being with a dominant who isn't really into me or the dynamic.  I have needs and as a dominant, if were a match, she'll like my needs being met .  My need is to be told what to do, how and when.  I get off on being led by a woman, sexually and otherwise.  That's why i consider myself a submissive as opposed to a bottom.  My need to be used is only turned on by a woman who wants to use me.  That's what I need in her.  I need her to get off on the whole idea of using me.  Yeah, Im all about servicing her needs and I could care less about all the toys and chastity games.  Tell me you want me, tell me you want to use me, tell me you want me and I'm all yours. 


(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 4:45:16 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Wow lally, I never thought I would see the day when pigs fly. Gotta go to my mum's and collect on a whole lotta stuff from my childhood

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 4:57:01 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		*puts lally, kallisto, and zephy on The List*



_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 4:57:33 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I fucking hope so....
The basis of our relationship is that I do what he wants when he wants it. And he does what he wants when he wants it.
It makes it all very easy. And it's a complete turn on for me. My brain is wired to be with a man who requires that.
For him...it's not an option to be in a relationship where he doesn't have complete control over all things.



_____________________________


Claps,

CP

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 5:10:10 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Hey how come I'm on the list? I was commenting on the icon only

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 5:22:55 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Hmmm, okay *puts an asterisk by zephy's name*

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 5:29:48 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

*puts lally, kallisto, and zephy on The List*





The List? What List?

*runs and hides ... but where the hell am I gonna hide?

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/5/2010 5:35:04 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Hey come on, I shouldn't be on the list at all!

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/6/2010 1:29:32 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

*puts lally, kallisto, and zephy on The List*





 - hop in i have the perfect hiding place - and i have cake

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Do-me dominants? - 7/6/2010 1:32:23 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite


Maria, I think what laurell is saying is similar to what I experienced. In any relationship I've been in, I wanted my partner to be happy and to do things for him, but if I am submissive toward him, I feel compelled and driven to serve his needs in any way I can. I want to be useful and used in a way that goes beyond what I have experienced in other dynamics. It's not selfless, I get pleasure from making him happy, from feeling useful and wanted and meeting his needs. It doesn't mean I never want anything or have needs of my own, but if we're reasonably compatible, a lot of my needs will be met in the course of meeting his. Both my former Master and my former Dominant encouraged me to ask for things I wanted or needed. Sometimes the answer was no, or more often, "Not right now," but they couldn't read my mind. So, part of what they wanted of me was transparency and communication.



There is absolutely no contradiction in my voice for this sort of dynamic. In my opinion its these sort of relationships that stand out and shine.
I spoke about DoMe Doms/subs and I obviously worded it in a way that came over wrongly.
I have never had a DoMe Dom but I have most certainly had a DoMe sub. I have however, had a DoMe partner and I can liken that to a DoMe dominant.
This man never noticed that he always had clean and freshly ironed clothes. He never noticed that the bed was made in the morning or that a nice dinner was cooked every evening. He didn't notice that the house was clean, the garden was trimmed, the dog was walked and the cat were fed. Worse than that, he never noticed when I put on a pretty dress, polished my nails and did my hair all nice. This was a man who expected it all but gave nothing back and I mean absolutely nothing. This to me is similar to a DoMe Dom.
The only time a DoMe Dom will really notice you is when your bags are packed in the hallway and your ready to leave.


_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 160
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