Do-me dominants?

Do-me dominants? (Full Version)

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Level -> Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:12:05 AM)
Our own lovely lally made a comment on the do-me sub thread, asking about "do-me dominants". Is there such a thing? And the one thing that popped into my head was, is being a dominant, by its nature, something that leans towards "do-me-ism"?? Obey me? Make me happy? My way or the highway?

Elisabella -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:17:00 AM)
imo a "do-me" dominant or a "do-me" submissive is someone who sees the other person as a means to fulfill their kink or sexual desires rather than as an individual they are relating to.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:18:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Our own lovely lally made a comment on the do-me sub thread, asking about "do-me dominants". Is there such a thing? And the one thing that popped into my head was, is being a dominant, by its nature, something that leans towards "do-me-ism"?? Obey me? Make me happy? My way or the highway? I fucking hope so.... The basis of our relationship is that I do what he wants when he wants it. And he does what he wants when he wants it. It makes it all very easy. And it's a complete turn on for me. My brain is wired to be with a man who requires that. For him...it's not an option to be in a relationship where he doesn't have complete control over all things.

kallisto -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:27:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Our own lovely lally made a comment on the do-me sub thread, asking about "do-me dominants". Is there such a thing? And the one thing that popped into my head was, is being a dominant, by its nature, something that leans towards "do-me-ism"?? Obey me? Make me happy? My way or the highway? I hope so. That's the kind of relationship for me ... the "do-me Dom". It's not about me, it's about him. That's what makes me happy .. making sure he is taken care of, his needs are met.

Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:30:36 AM)
Aileen, but you do get your needs met, by Shore's being in total control? Sounds like a win-win thang! [8D] Elisabella, what if the "do-me" IS using the other person to get their rocks off, but also interacts with them in other ways? Do we all have a little do-me in us?

ranja -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:32:32 AM)
He was for a long time someone who did not want to be done... and He did not want to do me either... life was very boring... i generally want to be done and also am usually very keen to do Him so i am rather happy that He now wants to be done again, and expects me to do Him when He does... also He has refound His appetite to do me again i am very happy that we both are do-me people again

Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:34:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kallisto quote: ORIGINAL: Level Our own lovely lally made a comment on the do-me sub thread, asking about "do-me dominants". Is there such a thing? And the one thing that popped into my head was, is being a dominant, by its nature, something that leans towards "do-me-ism"?? Obey me? Make me happy? My way or the highway? I hope so. That's the kind of relationship for me ... the "do-me Dom". It's not about me, it's about him. That's what makes me happy .. making sure he is taken care of, his needs are met. See, this sounds like the perfect D/s set up, to me. Both sides have their needs met, with a prime need of hers being to make the dominant happy, and with a prime need of his, to allow her that function. They must have something good in the drinking water over there in Georgia.... [;)]

Tantriqu -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:42:21 AM)
I'm 'Do-Me' only in the sense of having an orgasm whenever I want it and how I want it. If the guy isn't into it, there's little joy in it, so it only works if the guy is aroused and completed by this.

Elisabella -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:47:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Elisabella, what if the "do-me" IS using the other person to get their rocks off, but also interacts with them in other ways? Do we all have a little do-me in us? Not sure. I think casual play/casual scening is sort of "do me" but not in a negative way, it's just two people looking for someone with a compatible fetish rather than looking for someone to build a friendship or relationship with. I'd guess a litmus test would be, if the other person stopped fulfilling your fetish, would you keep talking to them? As a friend, as a facebook friend, whatever...but would you feel any desire at all to maintain contact if there was no chance they'd ever fulfill your fetish again. To me a do-me dominant is like one of those guys who has on his profile "looking for a femsub, age 18-50, looks not important, I don't care if you're married, but you must be into spanking" or something like that. Just looking for a generic warm body to do stuff with.

kallisto -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:55:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level See, this sounds like the perfect D/s set up, to me. Both sides have their needs met, with a prime need of hers being to make the dominant happy, and with a prime need of his, to allow her that function. They must have something good in the drinking water over there in Georgia.... [;)] [:)] Both sides having their needs met ... seems to me to be the core to a healthy relationship. Needs are as individual or collective as the ones in the relationship want them to be.

laurell3 -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:56:25 AM)
Level, It's odd that Doms don't get the same negative common labeling that subs and others do. I would think a "do-me" Dom isn't about whether sex is casual or not, someone that is completely oblivious or uncaring of the other person's needs. I've met a few. They're fun for about a week then their utter lack of substance and connection becomes boring.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:58:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level Aileen, but you do get your needs met, by Shore's being in total control? Sounds like a win-win thang! [8D] I absolutely do get my needs met. It's ironic that this relationship would most likely not work if I was given choices. We both need him to be in total control. It doesn't mean he's selfish or doesn't take me and my likes and dislikes into consideration. In fact, a lot of the things he decides to do are based on things that I like. "Do me" does not always mean being oblivious to the other person.

mstrjx -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 5:59:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella imo a "do-me" dominant or a "do-me" submissive is someone who sees the other person as a means to fulfill their kink or sexual desires rather than as an individual they are relating to. Why, this all sounds like it should be part of the objectification thread downstairs. From the posts we've seen so far, relationships 'work' because there is the veil of complicity implied here. The d-type says 'The world revolves around me, as it should, and this is what satisfies me'. The s-type says 'I move heaven and earth so that the world revolve around my partner, as it should'. Each is wired towards the same goal, and the accomplishment is an equality of sorts, not just geared 100% (or 90, or 80) towards the one rather than in the middle. What if this veil, or equality doesn't exist? What is left? Coercion. The mother of all 'Do Me' scenarios. The question truly lies whether there is a place for 'that' in our world. Jeff

Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:17:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Level, It's odd that Doms don't get the same negative common labeling that subs and others do. Hey laurell -- is this because there IS a natural degree of do-me in dominants? Kind of how most don't see boxers as thugs, because fighting is what they do, but if you were to see someone in the street that got into 30 or 40 fights, you might see them differently?

LaTigresse -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:18:00 AM)
Using fast reply... My head tends to go more towards the concept that KoM has so often expressed. Ultimately, all parties are serving the greater unit. The relationship/family. All parties are doing what they need to do to be sure the relationship/family thrives. Different individuals do that in different ways by providing different strengths, talents and abilities. Different relationships will each have different goals. For some the 'do me' mindset, regardless of which side of the slash, will work perfectly and for others, no.

myotherself -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:22:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 In fact, a lot of the things he decides to do are based on things that I like. "Do me" does not always mean being oblivious to the other person. QFT [:D] This is exactly how I see my next relationship going. He wants to make me happy because it makes him happy, and vice versa. We want to do this because we have an emotional bond...maybe even 'love' eventually.

Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:24:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx Coercion. The mother of all 'Do Me' scenarios. The question truly lies whether there is a place for 'that' in our world. Jeff Good question. And how thin is the line between coercion, and non-consenual behaviour?

laurell3 -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:25:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Level, It's odd that Doms don't get the same negative common labeling that subs and others do. Hey laurell -- is this because there IS a natural degree of do-me in dominants? Kind of how most don't see boxers as thugs, because fighting is what they do, but if you were to see someone in the street that got into 30 or 40 fights, you might see them differently? Yeah of course. I'm not referring to the typical role based stuff though, that's hot and desired. I'm referring to an almost sociopathic disregard for their partner's needs and well-being.

laurell3 -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:27:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 quote: ORIGINAL: Level Aileen, but you do get your needs met, by Shore's being in total control? Sounds like a win-win thang! [8D] I absolutely do get my needs met. It's ironic that this relationship would most likely not work if I was given choices. We both need him to be in total control. It doesn't mean he's selfish or doesn't take me and my likes and dislikes into consideration. In fact, a lot of the things he decides to do are based on things that I like. "Do me" does not always mean being oblivious to the other person. I'm not sure there's a common definition. Rest assured what I know of Shore he wouldn't fit in the one that I'm thinking of. He may be in control but everything he has posted here indicates he is very cognizant of your needs.

Level -> RE: Do-me dominants? (7/4/2010 6:29:27 AM)
quote: LaT: My head tends to go more towards the concept that KoM has so often expressed. Ultimately, all parties are serving the greater unit. The relationship/family. All parties are doing what they need to do to be sure the relationship/family thrives. Different individuals do that in different ways by providing different strengths, talents and abilities. Different relationships will each have different goals. For some the 'do me' mindset, regardless of which side of the slash, will work perfectly and for others, no. Ol' yarn-hater is pretty smart, isn't he? [:D] quote: little boing boing: This is exactly how I see my next relationship going. He wants to make me happy because it makes him happy, and vice versa. We want to do this because we have an emotional bond...maybe even 'love' eventually. Love?? That's crazy talk, woman! Ain't no love in D/s! Aww, of course there is. It's one of my prime goals, and I would give up D/s to have it. Hopefully, that won't be the case.

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