RE: How Many Strikes?

RE: How Many Strikes? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid

Message

marie2 -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 11:50:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 Isn't it against tos to bring private conversations into the public forum? Names are withheld, but then you say the "jury should have all the evidence". Jury for whom? Evidence of what? I don't know if you've read the whole thread Marie, but the guy in question requested that the thread be unmoderated so people could give their honest opinions of him. He wanted his moderation to be discussed by, in his words, 'a jury of [his] peers'. Yes, he requested an unmoderated discussion. Private conversations are private, public discussion is public. If it doesn't get pulled, it doesn't get pulled. My feeling is that it's unethical to post a private conversation to a public forum, regardless. But then that's just my feeling. I don't expect everyone else to have the same standards.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 11:56:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 ok change the words "do we LOOK better than him" to "are we BEHAVING better than him?". I honestly think the answer is yes, because the majority of posters bring benefit to the boards as well as snark. Maybe you'd disagree with me, and that's fine. I know that if a mod asked me not to do something I'd stop, because I'm mature enough to recognise that some idealised form of free speech doesn't exist here. I try not to judge posters on anything other than their words, and I try not to make assumptions about their lives (e.g. that a decision I know very little about is automatically idiotic). I try not to make blanket judgements about large groups of people (e.g. there is something inherently wrong with male doms). If I don't know about something I understand the virtue of a polite question, free from loaded language. I understand that insight into a question can come from a person regardless of their gender or orientation. So do the majority of posters the majority of the time. Are we all perfect all the time? Of course not. But sm22 has crammed an awful lot of imperfection into not much time at all.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 11:58:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 My feeling is that it's unethical to post a private conversation to a public forum, regardless. If you don't mind my asking, does the fact that he gave his permission for the conversation to be made public affect your feeling at all? Is that not a mitigating circumstance?

marie2 -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 12:10:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 My feeling is that it's unethical to post a private conversation to a public forum, regardless. If you don't mind my asking, does the fact that he gave his permission for the conversation to be made public affect your feeling at all? Is that not a mitigating circumstance? Absolutely, if he gave his consent. Which I saw from Ishtarr's second post when she clarified that. Look, I have no admiration OR disdain for the guy. I just think the public roasting is crazy. Just because he asked for public opinion (which takes a FUCK of a lot of balls) doesn't mean that some people have to be complete pricks in their delivery. That's my main point. It's just as ugly, from where I'm sitting. But then who the hell am I? Just another poster with an opinion.

mnottertail -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 12:12:54 PM)
LOL, I have been moderated more that most of you girls got shoes. Ron

DesFIP -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 12:13:00 PM)
Considering the fact he gave approval of the conversation being posted, and that VAA specifically asked him if he was sure he wanted this to be unmoderated, then yes imo it is ethical. It's like calling a 1-800 number for service and hearing them say the phone call may be recorded. If you don't want it to be recorded then you hang up and try contacting them another way. He was asked if it was okay to post this and he agreed. Consent trumps all as there is nothing illegal happening. Is the OP getting mauled? Yes. Did he ask for it? Yes. Did he expect a 'jury of his peers' to agree with him? Yes. Is it our fault that he assumed this time people would agree with him when they haven't yet? No. It's his fault for thinking delusionally. He asked for it, he got it. In my world that's fair. If he wants people to think of him differently, then he needs to act and post differently. For the moment he appears to be the textbook definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result.

marie2 -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 12:16:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail LOL, I have been moderated more that most of you girls got shoes. Ron ha ha ha.....Wanna bet?

sirsholly -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 12:19:21 PM)
quote: Just because he asked for public opinion (which takes a FUCK of a lot of balls) If you mean that in a complementary way, let me point his last post out to you, Marie... quote: ORIGINAL: submissivemale22 this thread has not developed as i expected. im going to go think about the reasons for this and wont return until i figure out why things never really worked out for me on this site. I get the feeling he was once again surprised at his inability to baffle us with his bullshit.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 12:44:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ishtarr quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 Isn't it against tos to bring private conversations into the public forum? Names are withheld, but then you say the "jury should have all the evidence". Jury for whom? Evidence of what? Honestly, I was mostly being sarcastic because this whole thing is beyond ridiculous... But other than that... What VC said: he specifically requested a "jury of peers" to render judgment on him and let him know exactly what they think about his posting style. If that wasn't the case, this wouldn't have been posted. As to the TOS, I checked the guidelines and the TOS, I couldn't find anything on it not being allowed to post private conversations WITH the participants explicit consent -which I asked for and got. Maybe I missed something, and in that case that post will get pulled, which is fine. But I seriously at least couldn't find anything to indicate that that post would go against CM policy. First Ishtarr, I want to say I find you to be an exceptionally wise and well spoken young lady. Yes, I said young lady, so cuss me for ageism, htfe it is spelled. When you get old, you will understand that to be a compliment. That said, some things may not always be against TOS or the rules of the place you are. Sometimes. we have to use a compass within us. FOR ME, putting that entire private conversation would have been a line I would not have crossed, with or without the permission of Collarme or our young, thrashing about in the water trying not to drown, not as wise and well spoken young man who wants (or think he wants) all of these honest opinions.

NorthernGent -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 12:52:59 PM)
A trillion.....I would never in a million years even begin to think of blocking someone...anyone...... To me it's like going to the shop.....where you're sifting through the tomatos and the spring onions and the fish or what have you...."yeah...I'll have that...and that...I'll leave that...and I'll have that"...... Thing is here....life should be simple....

LadyPact -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 12:55:32 PM)
We have completely different methods, NG. I block anyone on the other side who can't comprehend the term "local". LOL.

LaTigresse -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 12:57:46 PM)
I am not sure I've got anyone blocked. I have hidden a lot of profiles though. There is only so much I want to see when I log in to check mail at 5:30am.

domiguy -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 1:04:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ishtarr Seeing that somehow yet another thread that could have been a great topic got turned into drama, let's go drama all the way, shall we? And hopefully get it over and done with this time... Yahoo handles and some names edited according to the guidlines, to protect the privacy of the participants... s: oh no s: yeah, ok... i saw your post i: ok, the i guess you'll want to reply i: go ahead... s: no... im just kind of shocked s: its like the end of julius caesar, when he gets attacked by even brutus i: lol i: you are SUCH a drama queen i: and i never stopped attacking you from the very beginning, in case you hadn't noticed... i: i've been telling you for all the time we've been communicating that i expect you to make changes on the boards i: in fact, we talked about this in lenght just yesterday s: yeah.... i thought i did change though i: and yet you manage to go on posting all night long doing just about anything and everything i told you not to do.... i: you're arguing your ass off just to argue i: you're not right in this i: they are i: accept that i: man up to it i: and move on i: you've insulted people i: baited s: you dont understand i: been extremely disrespectful i: broken TOS on several occations i: people are pissed i: you EARNED that s: i have never broken the tos i: no matter your motives for provoking it i: you have on several occations i: you called somebody a liar and accused him of making weapons i: THAT alone is breaking TOS s: no it isnt i: you openly disaproved of other people's kinks in several topics of yours i: breaking TOS again s: you are talking about the forum guidelines i: i'm not s: ok, well i familiarized myself with the "tos", and im confident there is nothing in it with regard to posting conduct (aside from posting about minors) i: This isn't a place to insult the kinks, preferences, lifestyles, etc. of others. If you don't like what another person enjoys, rest assured that there are plenty of others out there that probably don't like your activities either. Furthermore, baiting, harassment and personal attacks will not be tolerated. i: you insulted people's kinks... do you denial that? s: thats the forum guidelines i: sigh fine, the forum guidlines, fuck, you are arguing technicalities AGAIN i: did you or did you not break that code of conduct that CM expects from it's users? s: because i feel like i should technically not be banned s: i did not s: since my moderation i: your current one? s: lol, nooooo s: my previous one i: you insulted people's kinks with your hostel topic s: no i didnt i: you called toys art weapons i: and you claim that's not an insult? i: and not intended as one? s: that is worth 2 months? i: you KNEW full well it would be taken it as one i: is that what i'm asking? i: am i asking you if the punishment fits the crime? s: that isnt insulting his kink s: so, no i: ok, i'm done i: if you don't think that calling toys "weapons" is insulting his kink, then you're beyond what i want to deal with... s: sorry Ishtar. i know that you are right on this point, but it is just a compromising situation for me because i truly feel like i should still be allowed to post. s: so even though we did talk about changing my posting, and i wanted to do so, it kind of went awry when i got back into a corner on this thread s: i have not yet fully processed what happened between us, so im electing to wait to craft a more detailed apology until that point arrives, though the fact that this development is sure to dominate my mind in the interim means such a point is not all that far away. s: having said that, i do want to extend my immediate contrition and remorse, because above all else i recognize that you have a lot going on without me being an added source of aggravation. i know very well that im of but miniscule importance to you, but i never wished to complicate your life in the slightest way. s: and now having done so, its hard for me to beg for your forgiveness... not because im too proud to do so, but rather that even i dont feel at all justified in stating that i deserve it. i never was worthy of your attention in the first place, and though i was blessed with the opportunity to get to know you, it was something i ultimately squandered it in pursuit of something completely trivial. s: my penchants for drama queenery aside, to have done so is one of my greatest failings, and represents a sizable burden that i must bear. s: as i said at the top, i will probably have more thoughts on this as time passes, but for now i just want to communicate that im sorry for failing you, and i regret that i never was able to bring the happiness to you that i know you deserved. i: you have penance to take care off with a lot more people than me... you pissed me off because you refused to take care of that... you're right that my annoyence towards you at this point is cause because of unimportant trivial stuff that shouldn't matter, yet you keep insisting on arguing technicalities, and refuse to see things in light of "the spirit of the law" this is one argument that you are not going to win by winning the debate or being right... with me as well as with the others, the more you try to proof you are right based on whatever technicality you can come up with, the more you are going to loose sight of what i suppose to be your intended goal if you want to set things right, i suggest you start at the place you began to fuck things up -counselor i: until that time, you'll feel that being placed under moderation and being ignored your right to speak freely on CM is not the worse that will come from your continued indisgression s: i see that you blocked me on cm. if you dont want me to contact you, i understand and will respect that. its really a struggle for me to express how sorry i am for this with words, so i think it is time to demonstrate it by actions. i told the moderator not to ask me to live on my knees, but on some level im prepared to do that for you. for the first time i think i finally understand why the way i interact with others strains our relationship. having said that, the only conflict is that im so disgusted with myself in some ways i feel like i could never deserve your attention again. i: quit whinning about not deserving forgiveness and earn it s: i know... i want to... its just hard for me i: if it's too hard, then fuck off s: thats not what i mean... i want to earn it i: i don't lower standards because people refuse to try i: stop whinning and earn it s: i dont expect you to lower anything, and i intend to try, because i don't want to lose you... but i guess the reason i say its hard is that, like you, i find submissiveness in males to be a weakness... s: which is why i was motivated to be as antagonistic on the boards as i was s: any why i now feel in part that you might be better off without being burdened by my friendship s: but as long as there is a chance that such isnt the case, i desperately want to do anything to make amends to you s: so, thats definitely how im approaching it, and i hope that if i do get back in your graces, knowing what i know now... i dont think i will ever have to apologize like this again i: do i have your permission to quote what you said here, if i edit out your yahoo handle? s: yes. i: good s: personally, i would prefer it private between the two of us... but if i know if im ever going to start earning your friendship back, i have to start somewhere s: i literally feel sick for hurting you i: you're not capable of hurting me s: yeah, i know i: but you're got me royally pissed of now s: im really sorry either way s: at the time, i didnt realize how insulting i was being. i was just thinking i was disagreeing with you as i would with any other friend Seeing that we're apperently holding a tribunal here -which was requested by the defendant I might add- I thought the jury should have all the evindence.... I have no idea what this is about....I find Ishtarr's posts difficult to read, follow and I think her advice is often horrid. Does this have something to do with SimplyMichael being moderated? No idea what this is supposed to be about.

Ishtarr -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 1:13:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub First Ishtarr, I want to say I find you to be an exceptionally wise and well spoken young lady. Yes, I said young lady, so cuss me for ageism, htfe it is spelled. When you get old, you will understand that to be a compliment. That said, some things may not always be against TOS or the rules of the place you are. Sometimes. we have to use a compass within us. FOR ME, putting that entire private conversation would have been a line I would not have crossed, with or without the permission of Collarme or our young, thrashing about in the water trying not to drown, not as wise and well spoken young man who wants (or think he wants) all of these honest opinions. No insult was taken, rather, I'd thank you for the compliment. Other than that, you're entitled to your opinion. Personally... I was getting rather fed up with him being one way on the board and pretending to be another way in private. Either he starts being consistent AND quits deliberately trying to piss people off, or he goes on block/hide/disappears from my radar. The main reason I chose to post that -a reason I still stand by- is that I'm fed up by inconsistency and all talk and no actions. Pointing out the difference is the first step, whether he makes the next on, and then one after that, and the one after that, is up to him. Michael and I have spend too much time trying to explain to him the difference between consent and non-consent, between hurting and harming, between force and desire, between provoking thought and provoking outrage, between insulting and questioning, to continue to try and get somewhere with him merely by talking. I really do enjoy talking to him, for the most part, to the point even that we were probably going to meet in one of the next couple of weekends and I was seriously considering beating the shit out of him for being such a brat. [:)] However, his reaction to this topic has been beyond annoying to me. He's still trying to justify his mistakes with circular logic and technical arguments. He's still trying to explain that other people are wrong for feeling the way they do, instead of acknowledging that he is at least in part responsible for provoking those feelings. I have very few options available to me to force him to face the consequences of his actions, publicly pointing out his inconsistencies is only a feeble substitute for that. Personally refusing to engage with him any longer if he refuses to change might proof to be more effective, and is the next step, but then it's too late for him as far as I'm concerned. So this is his last chance, at least with me. He either stops simple refusing to use logic and empathy in his arguments, or he disappears as far as I'm concerned...

Ishtarr -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 1:14:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy I have no idea what this is about....I find Ishtarr's posts difficult to read, follow and I think her advice is often horrid. Thanks, coming from you that's the best compliment I've gotten all day. [:D]

VaguelyCurious -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 1:17:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 Absolutely, if he gave his consent. Which I saw from Ishtarr's second post when she clarified that. Look, I have no admiration OR disdain for the guy. I just think the public roasting is crazy. Just because he asked for public opinion (which takes a FUCK of a lot of balls) doesn't mean that some people have to be complete pricks in their delivery. That's my main point. It's just as ugly, from where I'm sitting. But then who the hell am I? Just another poster with an opinion. I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one-he asked for public opinion because he was positive (incorrectly) that he would get an answer that would prove a moderator wrong-I don't see that as taking a lot of balls. And just for reference, from Ishtar's first post: quote: i: do i have your permission to quote what you said here, if i edit out your yahoo handle? s: yes.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 1:24:37 PM)
I think VAA said this was gonna be an un-moderated thread. I am sure if I am mistaken I will find out soon enough-lol. I think that engaging 22 and expecting him to respond differently or better or more intellegently is akin to throwing ice on the retarded kids at school as they walk by, or making fun of them and then being surprised when they cry and get upset and kick and throw things and act in a way we, the smart cool kids, would never act.

NorthernGent -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 1:27:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Does this have something to do with SimplyMichael being moderated? Mick's moderated? Lurking though....still.....can't keep a good man down!

NorthernGent -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 1:29:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact We have completely different methods, NG. I block anyone on the other side who can't comprehend the term "local". LOL. Where are you that isn't a plane ride away? Or is this cultural?

VaguelyCurious -> RE: How Many Strikes? (7/9/2010 1:33:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub I think that engaging 22 and expecting him to respond differently or better or more intellegently is akin to throwing ice on the retarded kids at school as they walk by, or making fun of them and then being surprised when they cry and get upset and kick and throw things and act in a way we, the smart cool kids, would never act. Not sure if you're talking to me personally or if that was a fast reply, but if you are talking to me: 1) I don't define myself as a 'smart, cool kid'-I'm myself, people like me or they don't, but I don't judge myself on whether or not I'm 'cool'. 2) So we're supposed to treat him like a retarded kid? (using the term for consistency, not because I'm particularly keen on it). This isn't school any more-this is an adult site on which he has voluntarily created a profile and consistently made extremely unpleasant posts, which has made other posters (myself included) think badly of him. If he can't handle that he shouldn't be here.

Page: << < prev 12 13 [14] 15 16 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125