jujubeeMB
Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010 Status: offline
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For me, hard limits are called hard limits because they're hard. As in, unmovable. You may be partially referring to me, QSM, from the anal sex thread, and the thing is, if we were playing and you tried to push me towards anal sex, you would very quickly discover that you would be pushing me towards a huge amount of physical damage. My hard limits are things that I will not do, either for physical reasons or psychological reasons. Even if some of those limits changed due to physical changes, deep levels of trust or new desire in me, it would be mine to say without any pushing from my partner. Soft limits are a slightly different matter, in that most of my soft limits are there because I've never done them before, don't think I would like them and am scared of them. This does not mean they're not limits, it means that with someone I deeply trust, I may someday be open to trying certain things. But again, if I feel pushed, forget it. I know we all want what we can't have in life, but at some point you have to ask yourself whether what you want is the person or the thrill of what you can make that person do that they really don't want to do. And if you want the latter, don't come knocking on my door.
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