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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 6:29:24 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Using anal sex as overcoming a hard limit is rather benign.

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 6:39:17 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		You know, what we should really be discussing is the phrase "hard limit." You don't believe there are levels of limits, but a lot of people do - it's a standard phrase around here. This really has nothing to do with me, since you've made it clear that you're open up front about your feelings on limits with people, but you might want to watch out for people you play with who actually believe in hard limits.

It sounds like the people you've played with have had compatible limits to yours, which is why you haven't had a hard time pushing their "preferences." When you brought up the initial question, and ever since, you've referred to them as limits but have actually stated that you think people are confusing limits and preferences. I would guess that what you want is someone who has no limits that don't fit with yours, and whose preferences you can push. And that I can understand and respect. But the language gets confusing because you keep saying "limits," which in my world means "no."

The final sticking point for me is that you say you respect people's limits by agreeing to let them go at first, and be discussed later, but you've also made it clear that if, after discussion etc, the sub doesn't waver on her limit (re: my cutting example) then you and she will be incompatible and you will end the relationship. Why not just trust the person up front to tell you their hard limits (what they believe to be hard limits, not you, since you don't believe in hard limits) and if they list something that you absolutely need, end it then? Why the waiting game, if you're just going to find you're still incompatible down the road?

After that curiosity, I won't debate your methods anymore because I agree with you that we just have very different ways of being and looking at it. But trust me: I'm not misunderstanding you. I'm glad that you think that engaging me in limit pushing would be barking up the wrong submissive tree, because that says to me that you're only engaging in that particular kink with people who enjoy being pushed. So really, if it works for you it works for you. You say you "prefer there be nothing to push at all." I don't believe that for a second - you would miss it. You would look for ways to find it again, even if it was with another person

Oh, and it's "moot" point, not "mute" point. I'm sorry - that was so cute I had to point it out. I'm not making fun, I promise.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 7:27:09 PM   
mastertizzi


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/7/2010
Status: offline 		sorry if someone finds this offensive, but i find the fact that someone would have anal as a hard limit as quite humorous. i find it as one of those try it and then try to justify that you don't like it things. maybe if said person had a bad experience, though i could justify it. eh, i don't know. (this was side note coming from a male who enjoys self fisting just a little bit too much)

anyways i see my hard limits as anything that i find disturbing, gross, or things that are just morally wrong. obviously anyone who even asked about things involving children, animals, dismemberment, actual rape (pseudo rape i can somewhat be flexible on, not really my thing though) are all hard limits. as well as anything illegal, or that invades into certain personal moral bounds.
my hard limits are things that i don't flex on.

i see soft limits as things that i would be willing to take part in, under the right circumstances, usually in a way where i have say to how far things go. these are things like scat, roleplay rape (pseudo rape), needle play, knife play, fireplay, waterbondage (where the submissive would have their head fully submerged), other things that im too lazy to list right now.
my soft limits i can be flexable with them but the circumstances must be perfect, definitly not something that i would just try with a new partner. i would have to be with them know them for a couple years maybe or until i feel comfortable even at the thought attempting things of the sort.

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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 7:29:30 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

but i find the fact that someone would have anal as a hard limit as quite humorous.


What if they were sodomized by force nonconsensually, would you still find that "humorous"... all I can say is "wow"




< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/11/2010 7:30:07 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 84
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 7:30:49 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
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Status: offline 		If they bite the pillow hard enough, you don't have to listen to em complain.


I hope this helps.

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Profile   Post #: 85
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 7:31:06 PM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

The final sticking point for me is that you say you respect people's limits by agreeing to let them go at first, and be discussed later, but you've also made it clear that if, after discussion etc, the sub doesn't waver on her limit (re: my cutting example) then you and she will be incompatible and you will end the relationship. Why not just trust the person up front to tell you their hard limits (what they believe to be hard limits, not you, since you don't believe in hard limits) and if they list something that you absolutely need, end it then? Why the waiting game, if you're just going to find you're still incompatible down the road?


You did not read what I said....

we would have come to an agreement that you would be willing to discuss cutting again later, and if you still could not do it that you accepted that I would seek it out elsewhere.

Why do you keep missing this.

This is an AGREED upon thing, sub agrees and Dom agrees on it or they are not compatible.

I have had situations I had to walk away from someone because one thing could not be agreed on.

You have been treating the whole thing like in my world there is no return communication. she is always there talking about her side and we are coming to an AGREEMENT.

quote:

I'm glad that you think that engaging me in limit pushing would be barking up the wrong submissive tree, because that says to me that you're only engaging in that particular kink with people who enjoy being pushed. So really, if it works for you it works for you.


Now I know you don't get it.... I said before and I will continue to say I would perfer there be no limits to push in the first place... but just because there are doesn't mean I say there is no chance for us... I am willing to discuss it, talk about it and see if we can reach an agreement.

The way you presenting it isn't how it really is, you keep assuming many things... and no matter how many times I tell you that isn't how it is you keep saying that it is.... which is odd considering you have never discussed limits with me or seen how I am in that situation.

QSM

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 7:33:19 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mastertizzi

sorry if someone finds this offensive, but i find the fact that someone would have anal as a hard limit as quite humorous. i find it as one of those try it and then try to justify that you don't like it things. maybe if said person had a bad experience, though i could justify it. eh, i don't know. (this was side note coming from a male who enjoys self fisting just a little bit too much)




You are allowed to find someone else's limit of anal humorous. But you are not allowed to tell someone else what they can or cannot limit. More importantly, if you act like this then you'll never learn why it's a limit. Perhaps they were brutally raped in this manner. Perhaps they've had colon cancer and have scar tissue there. By dismissing someone else's limits as unacceptable, by assuming you get to judge for somone you aren't in a relationship with who hasn't consented to give you that right, you won't ever be trusted enough to learn why.


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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 7:49:31 PM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mastertizzi
anyways i see my hard limits as anything that i find disturbing, gross, or things that are just morally wrong.


How is having things you find "gross" as hard limits less humorous than someone having anal?

To be clear, I think you've got a perfect right to have that as a factor.  But I think you're being hypocritical here.

quote:

as well as anything illegal


Actually, that I'm more dubious about, even though a lot of people say it.  Simply because, in a lot of jurisdictions, the legality of many s&m activities is murky, to say the least. 

It's fine that people have specific illegal activities listed as hard limits.  But I'm cynical about whether most people who say "nothing illegal" are actually thinking that one through properly.


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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 7:57:26 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I generally don't set specific activities as limits.  I feel it is coming from a defensive headspace, and makes it more difficult for me to feel submissive.  If something is likely to cause significant harm to me, physically, legally, or emotionally, or if it goes against my morals, then I would need to discuss it, and most likely would not do it.  I don't choose to make it a blanket out, for the reasons Apocalypso mentioned.  If something is fairly minor, like doing S/M consensually, driving 5 MPH over the speed limit, or likely to cause permanent marks such as tattoos, brands, etc., I'd evaluate it on a case by case basis.  If someone wants something I really feel is going to damage me to the point I can't handle, mostly likely I just wouldn't date someone who was that incompatible with me.  Casual sex, whether with that person, or in a "sharing" context, is one of relatively few specific hard limits I have.  Plenty of people are into that, but I need emotional connection and commitment.  In my last relationship, I did several things that were scary and I had concerns about.  He was supportive and encouraging, addressed my concerns, and brainstormed with me to find ways to make them work for both of us.  In my last relationship, I did several things that were scary and I had concerns about.  He was supportive and encouraging, addressed my concerns, and brainstormed with me to find ways to make them work for both of us.

I usually use "limit" terminology with a casual playpartner who I don't have a committed relationship with, since I'm more likely to need to maintain and defend my boundaries with them.  Even though those limits are situational, they aren't very negotiable.  I might also refuse a particular activity based on their not having experience, and not choosing to educate themselves first, if I feel they are not approaching it safely.  I have them for darned good reasons in those situations, and if someone gets pushy, I'll probably just stop interacting with them. 

Mastertizzi, some people think anal sex is gross, or have medical issues that make it likely to damage them.  I know several people have tickling as a limit because of bad past experiences.  I think it's really irritating that you make fun of people for having limits, or feel they have to explain them to you in order to respect them.  If someone has limits that aren't compatible with you, don't date them or thwack them or whatever.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 7/11/2010 8:29:25 PM >

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 8:08:40 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB



The final sticking point for me is that you say you respect people's limits by agreeing to let them go at first, and be discussed later, but you've also made it clear that if, after discussion etc, the sub doesn't waver on her limit (re: my cutting example) then you and she will be incompatible and you will end the relationship. Why not just trust the person up front to tell you their hard limits (what they believe to be hard limits, not you, since you don't believe in hard limits) and if they list something that you absolutely need, end it then? Why the waiting game, if you're just going to find you're still incompatible down the road?



The thing is that sometimes people evolve in the relationship (on both sides) and the desires can become more "extreme".

I get what you're saying about hard limits being absolute. I feel the same way about a couple of things. Getting into a cage or other small space is not something I would ever do, it's a phobia and the sheer thought of it alone is enough to make me implode, therefore it's not something I have any desire to conquer. But putting aside the semantics of "hard limit" for a minute, I can say from my own experiences that there were things I once thought were hard limits, things that I swore I could never do, yet I ended up doing them when I reached a particular frame of mind. This is pretty common actually.

Some submissives want to conquer some of these "limits", some want to be pushed out of their comfort zone, and they want to put that decision-making process into the hands of their dominant. With trust and communication, they want to let the dominant navigate this process. It's not the same as stealing something from a person. If the sub and dom want the arrangement that way, and they are agreeing to it, then what's the problem.

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 8:24:25 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
It's a lot sadder when someone writes you specifically because you are a single mother, targeting your children.


1.  Lure the motherfucker in by saying you're interested.
2.  Contact "To Catch A Predator" and turn the conversation over to them.  If they're not interested in a sting operation, the cops may be.
3.  Hopefully get the sick fuck off the streets and in jail where he belongs.


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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 9:05:31 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2
But putting aside the semantics of "hard limit" for a minute, I can say from my own experiences that there were things I once thought were hard limits, things that I swore I could never do, yet I ended up doing them when I reached a particular frame of mind. This is pretty common actually.

Some submissives want to conquer some of these "limits", some want to be pushed out of their comfort zone, and they want to put that decision-making process into the hands of their dominant. With trust and communication, they want to let the dominant navigate this process. It's not the same as stealing something from a person. If the sub and dom want the arrangement that way, and they are agreeing to it, then what's the problem.


Absolutely no problem, if everyone is happy in the arrangement. And totally none of my business. But again, if you consider something a hard limit - as in seriously something you'll never do - then it's not something that you want your Dom to do to you, or help you discover. If you do want your Dom helping you push past limits, then those are not hard limits. Anything that you can fathom doing with the right person is not a hard limit. If you can't even fathom doing it with the right person, but you meet someone and he's great and he makes you want to soften your hard limits, then that's up to you regardless of who is in charge of the relationship. You may be making an overarching decision to not have hard limits with your Dom, but it is still your decision, and ultimately most people make that decision because the hard limits are compatible.

Honestly, I think this whole thread is a difference of opinion over the definition of limits. Limits are, in my book, limits. If you're open to changing them, even a teeny tiny bit, they're not limits. If you're not open to changing them, and a lot of trust and a little persuasion changes them, and you feel good about that, more power to you. But then they were never hard limits, because hard is what you would rather end a relationship than do. That's just my understanding of the definition of the word. Something that I apparently have to clarify with every Dom I meet in case his definition is "hard until I want to push it."

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 9:13:31 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Limits are, in my book, limits. If you're open to changing them, even a teeny tiny bit, they're not limits.

Can I get an Amen?
This is my perspective. A limit is a limit...period. Course, in my relationship, the limits are defined by me.


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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 9:21:25 PM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

Limits are, in my book, limits. If you're open to changing them, even a teeny tiny bit, they're not limits.


This is not true in your own words you yourself mention Soft and Hard Limits.

I believe in LIMITS. I do not use hard or soft I use LIMITS. And YES before I agree to take full responsibility of another human being I want to fully discuss each and every limit they claim to have.... Many people... and I mean MANY people have stated limits which are not limits they are fears and I want to address fears, I want to address when you are saying you do not what me to do and why, if it is something that I want to do and will see conflict in the future over then I will discuss it further and present you with possible situations and ideas that you may not have thought before and after presenting that I will offer you the idea that we leave this thing open for discussion at a later date. I will not require it of you, but if you decide that you are unable to partisipate in this at all will you accept that I have every right to seek it out elsewhere, with your blessing?

If this cannot be agreed to, it this agreement cannot be reached then we are NOT compatible as Master/slave or Dominant/submissive.

This "Pushing" that I am talking about is not a game, it's not a kink, experiencing things with people that might not have experienced otherwise certainly is. I enjoy that very much. But the "Pushing" is just me making sure that I get what I desire out of a relationship too..... something I think just as a submissive has a right to so does a Dominant.... just cause you don't want to do it does not stop the fact that I do.

If we are going to cohabitate or bond in a relationship style then we need to come to agreements on these things and if we cannot then we just are not compatible. And YES I do believe my wants and needs are EQUALLY as important as their wants and needs.....

And yes in a reverse sitution I will do things that I may not be interested in as long as it is not harmful to my well being... I will learn ballroom dancing, I will learn how to do a Peticure, I will learn how to do a waxing (Not the Kinky kind) all because my partner ask me if I will and I don't see any harm in it.

Why is it that you create this dasterdly idea? Why do you assume it's all about this supposed Thrill of pushing a limit... I would seriously perfer not to feel I have to. I have never had to defend what I see as respecting someone this hard before.

QSM

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Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 9:21:50 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		The Dom who accepts my hard limits off the bat, and then tries to renegotiate down the road, has grossly violated my trust, in my opinion. i would almost surely break up with this person. i would probably never speak to Them again.

pam

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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 9:38:32 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
And yes in a reverse sitution I will do things that I may not be interested in as long as it is not harmful to my well being... I will learn ballroom dancing, I will learn how to do a Peticure, I will learn how to do a waxing (Not the Kinky kind) all because my partner ask me if I will and I don't see any harm in it.


Ok, hold on. So you are willing to do things you're not interested in as long as it is not harmful to your well being - that would be the definition of a hard limit. Something that is harmful to a person's well being. You keep getting frustrated with me for not getting your points, but you don't seem to be getting that one of mine.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
Why is it that you create this dasterdly idea? Why do you assume it's all about this supposed Thrill of pushing a limit... I would seriously perfer not to feel I have to. I have never had to defend what I see as respecting someone this hard before.


You don't have to defend it to me. Why do you care what I think? I've already said you should go ahead and do what works for you. You did call it a kink earlier in this thread, however, so you might want to make up your mind about that.

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Profile   Post #: 96
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 9:53:42 PM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
And yes in a reverse sitution I will do things that I may not be interested in as long as it is not harmful to my well being... I will learn ballroom dancing, I will learn how to do a Peticure, I will learn how to do a waxing (Not the Kinky kind) all because my partner ask me if I will and I don't see any harm in it.


Ok, hold on. So you are willing to do things you're not interested in as long as it is not harmful to your well being - that would be the definition of a hard limit. Something that is harmful to a person's well being. You keep getting frustrated with me for not getting your points, but you don't seem to be getting that one of mine.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
Why is it that you create this dasterdly idea? Why do you assume it's all about this supposed Thrill of pushing a limit... I would seriously perfer not to feel I have to. I have never had to defend what I see as respecting someone this hard before.


You don't have to defend it to me. Why do you care what I think? I've already said you should go ahead and do what works for you. You did call it a kink earlier in this thread, however, so you might want to make up your mind about that.



juju, you are absolutely right I shouldn't care, I just wonder how someone can see something do different from what is being said.. how you can see what I mean to be something so different than what I feel in my heart... it was the same way in the aftercare thread. It is obvious you disagree with what I have said... but your reasons for doing so are laden with things I never said and you assumed I meant.

You just said Limits are Limits and now you are trying to argue a Hard limit again. I get the point you are trying to make... but that is how YOU see it, I understand how YOU see it which is why I have said time and time again that you would not be someone I would consider, there would be far to many restrictions for me to be comfortable being your Dominant. I would not feel free to be ME.

Why I care is that the way you present it, through your eyes I would not like me either... but what I don't like in your eyes are that things I never said, things you just group together. You don't even know how these disucssions go.... the fact that it is up for discussion is this horrible thing to you.... This is what I don't get.

Why are the Dominants desires Back seated to yours? Why do you get to decide what does and does not get done but your Dominant doesn't? Where is the Power Exchange, Dynamic, or Transfer when you call the shots that way? I assume this is not really true for you. I assume you care very much about your Dominants needs, but if one of those needs was something that you Limited then he would not be your Master... How is this any different than what I am discussing here?

Just because I care enough not to throw them into panic or throw them away completely by being honest and discussing what I am into along with what they are NOT into and finding out the WHY as well as the WHAT, you lable me a bad guy.

I said before that it was a Kink, not the pushing of the limit but the experiencing something with someone for the first time... it is an amazing energy. I would perfer not to have to discuss a limit because I would perfer that nothing I want be off the table, just as I make sure not to say no to things that may want that I may not want to do, I am willing to try, even things I didn't like with other partners, with any new partner... sometimes its the person and not the act which has been discussed here a LOT in this thread.

I am done now... cause you are right I shouldn't care what you think... the partners I have and have had in the past all agreed and were fine with the way I do things... I just seriously dislike being misread, especially when I know in my heart how different I really am from the way you have verbally illustrated me in your posts,

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

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(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/11/2010 11:44:48 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
Why I care is that the way you present it, through your eyes I would not like me either... but what I don't like in your eyes are that things I never said, things you just group together. You don't even know how these disucssions go.... the fact that it is up for discussion is this horrible thing to you.... This is what I don't get.


Ok, first of all, you need to take a step back and take a deep breath. You are projecting like crazy, and it's making me start to wonder if you have doubts about yourself, since I haven't painted you in any light at all. I told you several times that I'm not judging you, but I get to disagree with your dismissal of "hard limit," and I do disagree. I have not made any comments on your character, here or in the aftercare thread. If you'll recall, you emailed me and I thanked you for your input. So I'm not entirely sure what has you in a panic about my opinion of you, but it's completely out of the blue from my perspective. I don't know how many times I can repeat "if it works for you and everyone involved likes it then great, and it's none of my business."

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
Why are the Dominants desires Back seated to yours? Why do you get to decide what does and does not get done but your Dominant doesn't? Where is the Power Exchange, Dynamic, or Transfer when you call the shots that way? I assume this is not really true for you. I assume you care very much about your Dominants needs, but if one of those needs was something that you Limited then he would not be your Master... How is this any different than what I am discussing here?


There are so many things wrong with those first three questions, I don't quite know how to begin. Having hard limits and soft limits has nothing to do with the "Dom's desires being back seated." I even stated in this thread that I wouldn't want to be involved with someone who really wanted to do something that was a hard limit of mine, because I would feel bad about that person not being able to do it. His desires are equally as important as mine - I don't say more, because that doesn't work for me. It's an exchange, whatever that works out to be to the Dom and I. However, if we compare notes and most desires match up quite well and we decide to be together despite some differences, hard limits take precedence over desires. Asking why that is is like asking why his desire to stab me is being "back seated" because of my hard limit of being stabbed. You may find that an outrageous comparison to what you've been talking about, but it isn't to me. He ultimately doesn't get more rights over my body than I give him, and I give him as many rights as are not my limits.

Where is the power exchange? Are you kidding me? Have you noticed that I'm not the only person on this thread insisting they have limits, hard or otherwise? Do you think none of us have power exchange relationships, and that we're all just faking it? The power exchange is in what the Dom does with what they're given. The sub says (in crude shorthand) "I submit to you all my power and control, with these guidelines of my likes, dislikes, preferences, soft limits and hard limits." The Dom (in the apparently power exchangeless relationship I'm describing) takes the information they're given and makes it into getting what he wants and needs while maintaining his sub's happiness and pleasure in whatever way she wants and needs. Having limits doesn't make someone any less powerful when they've reduced you to a puddle on the floor and you know without a trace of a doubt that if they pushed, you would give. That they don't push - that they don't need to - is what keeps me there.

And by the way, I frequently do things I don't like or don't really want to do. You seriously can't compare ballroom dancing to the things I've done for Doms out of extreme devotion. I used to be quite afraid of gagging while having my mouth fucked, but my ex coaxed me - through extremely gentle, slow persistence - into trusting him enough to the point where he was able to fuck my mouth with complete abandon, and quite deeply. It's now my absolute favorite activity, which is surprising since it started as a fear. But it was never a limit, or anything close to a limit.


quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
Just because I care enough not to throw them into panic or throw them away completely by being honest and discussing what I am into along with what they are NOT into and finding out the WHY as well as the WHAT, you lable me a bad guy.


...I said about twenty times that "as long as things are discussed beforehand openly and honestly, then great." So I'm not sure where you're getting this.


quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
I said before that it was a Kink, not the pushing of the limit but the experiencing something with someone for the first time... it is an amazing energy. I would perfer not to have to discuss a limit because I would perfer that nothing I want be off the table, just as I make sure not to say no to things that may want that I may not want to do, I am willing to try, even things I didn't like with other partners, with any new partner...


You say that you would prefer that nothing you want be off the table, and I don't think that's a particularly surprising desire, since almost everyone wants what they want. However, in reality, you're going to have a hard time finding someone who has literally perfectly synchronized desires with yours. If you break up with someone every time they refuse to do one of the things on your apparently extensive list (if you go up to cutting, I'm assuming the list is extensive), you're going to be breaking up with a lot of people.

But like you said, that is absolutely your right and your call. I hope you find many poly, no-limits, awesome subs. I'm pretty sure you're going to think I'm being snide with that, so let me just clarify: I MEAN THAT GENUINELY. Ok, off to bed. Getting enough sleep is a limit of mine

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/12/2010 12:57:05 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan


How Pushable are your Limits.


I am physically limited in some areas and impossibles (how I differentiate between something I can do and something I can never do) can't be pushed, pulled or coaxed out of me. If I am physically capable, I have no problems doing it. I may not know if I am physically capable, but I would have no problem making an attempt.

quote:

The Idea is how offten do you Limit something that scares you but you don't really know all that much about?
Thrills rock so if someone came up with something that actually scared me within consensual BDSM I'd jump on it to give it a go!

quote:

What Limits have you set that later on you had to reset because you fond someone you LIKED doing that thing with?


I don't recall anything of that nature.

On the flip side, I have seen Himself shed a whole lot of his own limits since we've been together. I have always been fascinated by blood, blood letting (spiritual and for sport) and exchanging it with Michael on occasion has brought us so close together which is something he never thought he would do. He had no problem with cutting me, drinking my blood but had never wanted to spill his own until one day he did and allowed me to take his blood into my body. It is something that is occasional - actually, rare, but all the more precious for it and he has stated that he would not do that with or for anyone but me. There have been other things as well and things he has introduced me to that I had never heard of (like figging.. never a limit because I was clueless on what it was until I met him) but I loved it and still do!

I have to say, though, that I never *pushed* Michael into giving up or getting past what he calls his limits.. just that in time as I would talk about some of the things I enjoyed or wanted to experience (I have a way with words on occasion) he would just get interested in my descriptions of my desires and ended up wanting to try out some of the things as well. He has often told me that some of that stuff just didn't sound that interesting or fun to him until I was able to explain it in such as way as it actually sounded like a hell of a lot of fun so off we went and because of that there are a lot more goodies available in the goodie bag than there used to be with him.






_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/12/2010 1:28:14 AM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

He has often told me that some of that stuff just didn't sound that interesting or fun to him until I was able to explain it in such as way as it actually sounded like a hell of a lot of fun so off we went and because of that there are a lot more goodies available in the goodie bag than there used to be with him.


THIS.

This Exactly.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 100
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