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Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 12:35:12 AM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		I often hear on the boards others being insulting of others physical imperfections.  I usually look at the person not the body (which is just a shell).  We all have some imperfections here and there.  Others get imperfections due to rituals, play, medical or health issues, etc. 

Why is there such criticizm of ppl's bodily imperfections at times?

How important is someone's body to you?

How does everyone feel about body imperfections when you meet someone new?

How does it reflect on whether or not you want to 'play' or develop a meaningful D/s or M/s relationship?

Just curious on everyone's thoughts to this subject.
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 12:49:41 AM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook
I often hear on the boards others being insulting of others physical imperfections.

I don't think I've seen that.  Can you point me to some posts where members are insulting other members' physical appearances? 

(in reply to acctonthelook)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 12:59:03 AM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CanadianGuy

quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook
I often hear on the boards others being insulting of others physical imperfections.

I don't think I've seen that.  Can you point me to some posts where members are insulting other members' physical appearances? 


One thread was about facial hair where one woman was very upset and I posted prior re: health issues could be a cause.  I wrote to her personally about my understanding and felt bad that some ppl were being nasty, not just being funny like everness was being about 'herself'.  Others however were just nasty.

The whole thing started me thinking about body imperfections in general and what others thought.

(in reply to CanadianGuy)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 1:16:30 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



Why is there such criticizm of ppl's bodily imperfections at times?


I don't know. Seems rather silly doesn't it?

quote:

How important is someone's body to you?


::shrug:: I wear blindfolds too often for it to be a concern.

quote:

How does everyone feel about body imperfections when you meet someone new?


Basically, it doesn't matter to me. The mind is of much more interest to me.

quote:

How does it reflect on whether or not you want to 'play' or develop a meaningful D/s or M/s relationship?


It doesn't. I think the human body is beautiful in all it's shapes, sizes, tones, textures and forms. Give me someone who appreciates life and I'm right there. :) A practically perfect body with a crappy attitude and small mind is a -10 on the beauty scale and that is what I'd pass on in a hot second.

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to acctonthelook)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 1:29:18 AM   
DigitBox


Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:


Why is there such criticizm of ppl's bodily imperfections at times?

How important is someone's body to you?

How does everyone feel about body imperfections when you meet someone new?

How does it reflect on whether or not you want to 'play' or develop a meaningful D/s or M/s relationship?

Just curious on everyone's thoughts to this subject.


*shrug*
Asside from having certain preferences, I don't find outward apperances something that is the only decission over who I'm interested in.

I have a 6" heart surgery scar running down my front.  Plus a few other "imperfections".  I won't  bother with someone who has a problem with any of my unique features.


(in reply to acctonthelook)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 2:13:17 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook
I often hear on the boards others being insulting of others physical imperfections
Usually comes from angry or insecure people who resent others anyway, and since body imperfections are easy to spot and not that politically incorrect, they attack that.
quote:

I usually look at the person not the body (which is just a shell).  We all have some imperfections here and there.  Others get imperfections due to rituals, play, medical or health issues, etc
We all have imperfections, and that is all that needs to be said, without the rationalizing or explaining.   We also all are attracted to different folks for different reasons, again, no explanation needed really.  Some people are more shallow about their choices, most of us need a little more substance than what one looks like, but I don't begrudge anyone for being attracted to whatever they are, because it is a choice we all have/make when choosing a lover or friend.
quote:

Why is there such criticizm of ppl's bodily imperfections at times?
Because it's easy, and they can sound sanctimonius spouting off how it is associated with many illnesses, as if the majority of people actually care about mine or your health. 
I'd rather people just say I like being able to carry my boy/girl, or my friends think I look more manly if my girl looks like the magazine prototype, or I like thinner girls so I can feel like a superman when phucking her, etc.etc... Am getting silly, going to bed.

quote:

How important is someone's body to you?
How does everyone feel about body imperfections when you meet someone new?
I need some attraction to the person contacting me;  I tend to not be attracted to extremes on either side (someone 6', 140# or someone 5' 400#), but appearance has never been THE primary determinant of whether I am attracted or not...  I know now from experience, that I can love someone I would not initially be physically attracted to.

I don't expect anyone is perfect, and anyone who pretends to be, and or pretends to look for perfection, I stear clear from.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to acctonthelook)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 2:18:16 AM   
TheShadows


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline 		I've not received criticism of my imperfections on this site yet, but I'm sure it'll happen eventually, so I really can't answer this first one.  Shallowness, maybe? 

Someone's body is nowhere near the top of my list of priorities.  If it were, I'd be the biggest hypocrit alive.  I'd rather get to know the mind before the body ever comes into play anyways.

I don't expect perfection from anyone, except maybe myself sometimes, so I tend really not to notice.  I don't think I would notice unless, say...they were missing half their face or something, which would immediately say to me..."This person has a story to tell, and I wanna get to know them."

Not in the least.  Why continue to narrow my already VERY short list of potential matches by adding "NO UGLY/SICK/SCARRED PEOPLE" to my profile?  I'd rather be with someone who are all those things on the outside, rather than on the inside.

As always, YMMV. 

Signed,
A Proud Fat, Ugly, Sick, and Scarred Woman

< Message edited by TheShadows -- 4/16/2006 2:20:53 AM >

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to acctonthelook)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 3:45:19 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:


Why is there such criticizm of ppl's bodily imperfections at times?


Hey...  some people are superficial! What are you going to do?

quote:


How important is someone's body to you?


Well....I like active, athletic women, but on the thick side - Gotta have some meat on the bone. But the mind is the real prize.....
quote:



How does everyone feel about body imperfections when you meet someone new?


Like I said... the mind is the real prize

quote:

How does it reflect on whether or not you want to 'play' or develop a meaningful D/s or M/s relationship?


Honestly.... a true deal killer for me would be someone who doesn't like any physical activity at all. In other words....it's highly unlikely I'd be attracted to someone who wanted to sit in one of those electric golf carts they have at Wal-Mart and ''motor'' around the store instead of walking.


 - R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 4/16/2006 3:48:50 AM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to acctonthelook)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 4:08:45 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		When you are a tad over weight, old and ugly, every one ermm well damn near every one is looking pretty bloody good to me......

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 4:22:54 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

When you are a tad over weight, old and ugly, every one ermm well damn near every one is looking pretty bloody good to me......


Nonsense.... I'll give ya another fifteen before you get to that point.  ; }


 - R


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 4:31:05 AM   
slaveladyj


Posts: 161
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		I suspect it might have something to do with the fact that as children we were taught to judge people by the physical appearance. The media adds to this problem. Turn on any television set in the world, and you'll see impossible perfect people scrubbing floors, and get the sense that if you used their product, you too will look like that. Now of course as we have gotten older, we should know better, but you'll always find those that judge.
I never share my picture with anyone, not just the folks here, but recently because I wouldn't, I was told that I must be a gay male. (Still laughing over that) I'd rather get to know the person inside, then see the phyisical person first.

(in reply to acctonthelook)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 4:34:58 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		As a child, I was taught not to judge people by looks or their station in life, their colour, creed or beliefs.. It was what they were and how they presented themselves which mattered.. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to slaveladyj)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 4:52:36 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Why?  I assume it's because we live in a society that's has taken it's values from
Marketing?  We are presented daily with the loose weight, fix your skin, tuck this
and or trim that.  Combign it with the want of instant gratification and the ~me~
mentality of entitlement where little will ever meet the mark of perfection.......

Someone elses body?  I have my preferences like everyone else.  I prefer men
a bit taller then I, I like Stocky over thin, but what it really comes down to is if
their body allows them to be active.  The mind is so very important, yet if their
lifestyle cant meet mine we wont be a match to begin with............

First Meet?  Hummm, I'm about to go do just that ... and to tell the truth I'm
more conserned with how I will be viewed then to what I'm viewing. 
All ~my~ imperfections are shifting place in my head, all those things about me
that are not up to marketing standard are glowing ~in my mind~ possibly
given my status I'm being much to self centered........

Body condition as a deal breaker?  Unless someone blantely misrepresented
themselves it wouldnt effect it at all..

Awe ~Bear~ your just too Precious.........
Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 5:04:55 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver


First Meet?  Hummm, I'm about to go do just that ... and to tell the truth I'm
more conserned with how I will be viewed then to what I'm viewing. 
All ~my~ imperfections are shifting place in my head, all those things about me
that are not up to marketing standard are glowing ~in my mind~ possibly
given my status I'm being much to self centered........

Q


Good luck on the meet, and try not to be concerned! I think you'll be fine.
 
Level

(in reply to Quivver)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 5:54:27 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

First Meet? Hummm, I'm about to go do just that ...




All my best to you, have fun...


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Quivver)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 6:21:46 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Awww Bear!!! Personally I think you are just adorable even though I am fairly certain you might not like someone using that word to describe you. Your words in these forums show you to be someone definately worth knowing.   Aside from that, like everyone I am attracted to a pretty face and trim figure. I remember meeting one very beautiful young lady that had contacted me on another site. Simply gorgeous! However, her personality was such that I could not get away from that restaurant fast enough!! The way I like to put it is this. Have you ever met someone that at first did not seem that attractive but the more you got to know them the more desirable they became? Then visa versa, at first they seemed beautiful or handsome but quickly became less and less so because of their personality? Of course like everyone I have preferences, likes and dislikes. I dislike tatoos and lots of piercings. I dislike breast implants, not too fond of large breasts period. I would love a woman that was smaller than I in height. However, most of those preferences have flown right out the window and become a non-issue because of the person involved at some point or other in my life.

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 6:30:46 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		IronBear, i am collared so do not take this the wrong way; but you are fine looking to me. Nothing wrong with what i see in your photo, great goatee, apparently strong arms, genuine smile. 

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 6:31:06 AM   
MrMister


Posts: 272
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		I too want to wish you all the best with the first meeting. From what I see, you have about as much chance as the temperature in Hades dropping somewhat below thirty-two degrees as you do in the person you're meeting finding any fault with your appearance. You are indeed quite an attractive lady.

Getting back to the OP - As others have pointed to so well here, it is the mind that will raise us above all else. To me this is what is of the utmost in importance, but in all  honesty, there also has to be a physical attraction to sustain a relationship for any length of time. How we each percieve others is certainly a subjective thing and varies from one individual to another. But suffice it to say, if we are around someone that continually picks people apart in regards to appearences, well, most assuredly we will be far better off if we just move along, as it is highly likely that this particular person is far too shallow to ever support a meaningful relationship. IMHO, personal character, values, and other similar attributes are far more important than her appearance. Beauty will eventually fade, but if there are other qualities and traits that actually serve to make her beautiful, oh what a find that its. A very rare and precious treasure.

< Message edited by MrMister -- 4/16/2006 6:39:48 AM >

(in reply to Quivver)
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RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 6:46:39 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook

I often hear on the boards others being insulting of others physical imperfections. I usually look at the person not the body (which is just a shell). We all have some imperfections here and there. Others get imperfections due to rituals, play, medical or health issues, etc.

Why is there such criticizm of ppl's bodily imperfections at times?

How important is someone's body to you?

How does everyone feel about body imperfections when you meet someone new?

How does it reflect on whether or not you want to 'play' or develop a meaningful D/s or M/s relationship?

Just curious on everyone's thoughts to this subject.


Oh dear, if Master and I cared about the way our bodies look we'd never be together I have stretch marks and a "tummy" from two babies. He has scars all over His body from the itching skin people with kidney failure get. He had a catheter in His tummy, plus a pot belly from holding in dialysis fluid for the past 4 years. He used to be a pretty husky guy, but His disease has wasted His muscles.

I don't see all that, never did. I see a strong gentle caring Man who loves me. He doesn't see my stretch marks or tummy either, He sees me the woman who loves Him.

We were friends online before we became lovers, or even Master and sub. He never knew what I looked like until we started to fall in love, and I sent Him my picture. I knew His face, but not what His body looked like. That first time I saw Him nude I do admit I was a little shocked but only for a moment and when I felt His touch for the first time I forgot all about it

(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Body Imperfections? - 4/16/2006 6:48:38 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook


Why is there such criticizm of ppl's bodily imperfections at times?


I have rarely seen this here, when i have i think these folks are just insecure about themselves.

quote:

How important is someone's body to you?


As long as they are healthy and content with themselves , not at all.

quote:

How does everyone feel about body imperfections when you meet someone new? 


My own? I am up front about how i look. After all as we age gravity is not kind to us.

Someone else's? As long as i do not get a sudden shock (i.e. i was told they were 6 foot tall and turn out to be 3 foot tall), fine. Actually at that point it becomes about their honesty.

quote:

How does it reflect on whether or not you want to 'play' or develop a meaningful D/s or M/s relationship?
 

Not at all as, what is most important to me is their state of mind, their inner self, the passion and vitality contained in their souls, the ability and capacity of their hearts to love. 

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to acctonthelook)
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