RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (Full Version)

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Kana -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 5:36:53 AM)

The worst punishment?
Easy
Look her dead in the eyes, say I am terribly disappointed, I thought much better of you. Matter of fact, I am so upset I have nothing at all to say.
Then turn and walk.
After that, whatever I say or do to her will be as nothing compared to what she is saying and doing to herself.




CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 8:20:14 AM)

I'm not big on "punishment". I think that if an individual who has yielded authority feels compelled to constantly act out, that person does not belong in that particular relationship (or, perhaps, is not ready to yield authority at all, no matter how 'romantic' or 'interesting' it seems from a distance). I require absolute -functional- obedience... which doesn't mean "no mistakes" -- it means that the individual genuinely embraces yielding authority, and accepts my right to make decisions based on our agreed-upon authority dynamic. If the servant in question chooses to defy my authority, then xhe is defying the dynamic, and my "punishment" consists of stating, quite clearly, that such behavior is unacceptable, and if it happens again, the dynamic will cease to exist. Period.

Occasional -mistakes- in functional application of the rules are not "punished" -- they are "disciplined"... the difference being that "discipline" provides direct correction and re-training to assure that the same mistake will not occur again. Punishment is strictly retributive. Therefore, if someone were to make a mistake about how they address guests in my home, I might require them to use speech restrictions for a period of time that would -reinforce- both that individual's -station-, reinforce, through constant repetition, the correct forms xhe is to use, and also require hir to think about every word xhe spoke.

Repeated mistakes, to me, indicate either an unwillingness or an incapacity to grasp a certain rule or required behavior. If it is incapacity, born out in a servant who is genuinely -trying- to do what needs to be done, I will often modify until xhe is able to succeed, and then re-build until xhe comes up to standards. I have -no- issue with working with someone who is genuinely trying. However, for the individual who constantly "forgets" or "messes up" just out of laziness or unwillingness to put out the effort, there is no "punishment", there is simply release from our household, and a genuine hope that xhe will find a situation more compatible with hir expectations for hirself and hir situation.

Calla




DesFIP -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 9:37:22 AM)

We don't have a punishment dynamic.

I'm human therefore I'm fallible. Being punished for making mistakes which I am bound to do occasionally would make me give up and not even try.

More importantly in the eight years I've been with him all items that he could have chosen to punish me for have actually been caused by miscommunication. So beating me because he was ambiguous and I misunderstood is not something I will accept. Even less when he meant to say do not do this and forgot the not. Nor for those occasions when he forgot my schedule and ordered something I couldn't do.

But had I been punished for being imperfect and him not being punished for the same is not something I will do. If I have to be perfect, then so does he. And neither of us are.




cassandria -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 9:46:42 AM)

oyyy...

[:(] some of these are just awful to hear...Kana ...ouch....*wince*....

~~~

I'm going to list punishments that I remember....but some, they had a playful aspect to them and more of a teaching to them than anything....I don't think I've ever been punished in ways that are spoken about here...so perhaps these don't count, but they did teach...

I'm going to think of these just so I stop cringing at collars being cut like credit cards and being ignored by one's Master and told they're so disappointed in you that they cannot even speak...cuz Gawd that's awful. Really, really awful. *shudders*

~~~

1) kneel on rice for an hour - then count it all out and put it back in the burlap sack. That took me an additional four hours - each time I miscounted I had to begin over again. I wasn't allowed to use paper or pen or anything. And I think it took a while for the rice imprints to go away on my knees lol

2) had my perfumes taken away. Apparently a woman can smell "too pretty". Sniff.

3) before, years ago, when I was still terrified of anal anything...I had to lay down, spread my asscheeks and give him access for an hour. He timed it. Scream abuse, whatever, but those aren't the dynamics in my relationships so it wasn't abusive...it was a punishment for me trying to withold something. And in hindsight, it was silly of me..because I was in excellent hands and after that evening, I also moved past that fear....a whole lot [;)] But before that happened, I begged, I pleaded, I stamped my foot, but at the end of the day I did as I was told, and because he kept talking to me, I wasn't able to block him out.

4) I had to pee on newspaper. Granted, it was the Globe and Mail..only the "best" for me apparently, but that's what I get for sauntering past my Master (at the time) and informing him I was going to the bathroom...I wasn't aware my cheeks (the ones on my face) could blush that pinkly. Till he informed me he wasn't leaving the washroom till I peed. Humiliation, anyone? I *still* blush, thinking of that!

5) Was warned if the waxer missed any hairs that he'd be tweezing. She missed five. And fuck, they hurt coming out one at a time. I told her next time, and from then on....that I'd tip her extra, just PLEASE don't miss any lol

6) When I was having "it's not fair!" deleted from my vocabulary, I was handed a flogger and told to use it on his other slave/submissive/woman. I held the thing, not knowing what to really do with it, with a growing aversion to even having it in my hand. He was serious though, and when I hesitated, looking down, he came over and grabbed me by the hair, pinned me up against the wall and told me if I ever again used those words that he'd take off his boots and give them to me. Can you say "horror"?? He laughed, life went on. Lesson learned. That, and I now had an association with his boots that made me wet. His boots = power.

7)This one...more serious. I'd been sassing back all morning, playful but with a bit of an edge...this was a poly relationship and the other woman was constantly taking tons of time, her self-centredness was grating on my nerves, both towards me and towards him, she was making everything into a competition which had me feeling off balance, he was making excuses for her etc...and it was all just rubbing me really the wrong way.

Finally he dragged me down to the dungeon, suspended me, whipped me till I was screaming in fear - phuck those things are terrifying - I'm sure it only lasted a few seconds because it doesn't take long to scare me with them - then caned me. Thoroughly.

It began as a punishment...and then ended with him reminding me of who and what I am, irregardless of the situation. Time on my knees, crying it out, open and raw and honest.

He kept me beside him, on my knees, for the rest of the day. I remember that, because I remember asking him later why I hadn't just gone the simple route and asked him for what I needed...and he told me because I just didn't always know what I needed...that that was his job to read me. And that I had my own way of telling him, eventually. And that he'd always respond accordingly, not to worry.

If he'd really been punishing me, I'm sure he would have ignored me or something worse....but this wasn't something I had done deliberately wrong, was more like me reacting to a not-so-good situation.

It had an effect though...because I wasn't expecting him to be so abrupt or strong...he'd never before done anything like this without a warming up, or at least touching me etc...but this wasn't playtime. Those marks stayed for nearly a month....and I think I lost my sass for at least a few days. Kinda sobering now that I think about it.

8) A canestroke for every minute late. I got away with setting his clocks five minutes ahead for a while, but I forgot about his darned phone. You know, when your Master is someone who bills in six minute incriments, it's _impossible_ to get away with being late. And I shouldn't be late anyways, but in my defense I was coming from a country where time isn't exactly measured in the same way it is here, and old habits die hard. And since I'm more of a wussochist than a masochist, those canestrokes? AIIEE!

I literally would come flying into his office, high heels in my hands, coming to a skidding stop at his feet, on my knees, out of breath saying "I'm not late I'm not late I'm not LATE!!!" because the seconds were ticking and I couldn't wait to be near him...and hoping and praying that I'd made it in time!

~~~

I don't think it's in me to desire to annoy or upset someone deliberately, or anything near it...I think I'm usually looking for ways to make a person smile or be pleased with me, not the opposite. So if the definition of punishment is inclusive of something on my part, deliberately done...then what I've listed doesn't count...sometimes teaching is done in a more negative/creative way, at least with me...because I can be too dense to figure it out myself lol or need a little help.

*edited to add that I left anything abusive out...I have plenty of that, in the past,...but that served no purpose other than to harm me and raise up his own power. I didn't think that counted as "punishment".





wandersalone -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 9:53:20 AM)

I was severely beaten for choosing to remove myself from a M/s relationship as my Master had been given an ultimatum from his um - the slave or me. 

I would make exactly the same decision in the future and no I am not still with him.




littlewonder -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 10:02:47 AM)

The worst punishment is just as he stated...telling me how disappointed he is and turning his back.

That kills me.

I'd rather he beat me till I couldn't move than hear those words.




Lve -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 10:08:50 AM)

Not being able to spin in my chair.




Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 10:28:58 AM)

I am in the camp of a good talking to, and if that and our displeasure isn't fixing my mis behaviors, then I obviously don't care enough about him, or our relationship to straiten up and fly right.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow


I think there is a place for punishments. In a LTR, sometimes the slave or sub disobeys some rule, for whatever reason. You wouldn't just give up on the relationship then or there, but something must be done. Some people prefer a good talking to, some people prefer to get a spankin'.





Jeffff -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 10:39:24 AM)

I once made a girl get completly naked and lie directly on top of a cheap hotel bedspread.




xXsoumisXx -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 10:40:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I once made a girl get completly naked and lie directly on top of a cheap hotel bedspread.


That's just not right...
downright abusive!!!




Jeffff -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 10:41:24 AM)

She had been a very bad girl.




divi -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 10:43:22 AM)

Wow like the cheap hotel itself wasn't bad enough ..Jeff you just love to spoil the ladies lol




Jeffff -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 10:44:12 AM)

I would take you to a red roof inn!

And then make you lie naked on the bed spread.




divi -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 10:46:43 AM)

that is cruel and sadistic..

I hope you break your hip




Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 11:25:20 AM)

My very first dom, after I had spent about 6 months of off and on again horrid behavior, when we finally met, handed me the belt and said since I want to act like the boss and treat him like a submissive, HE will lay down and I will spank HIM.

I looked at him dumbly for a moment and then began to cry. I had no desire to beat him.

He was like all right then, stop acting like you're in charge and I just have to roll over and let you do that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cassandria



6) When I was having "it's not fair!" deleted from my vocabulary, I was handed a flogger and told to use it on his other slave/submissive/woman. I held the thing, not knowing what to really do with it, with a growing aversion to even having it in my hand. He was serious though, and when I hesitated, looking down, he came over and grabbed me by the hair, pinned me up against the wall and told me if I ever again used those words that he'd take off his boots and give them to me. Can you say "horror"?? He laughed, life went on. Lesson learned. That, and I now had an association with his boots that made me wet. His boots = power.








sexyred1 -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 12:47:22 PM)

The worst punishment is not giving me enough attention or ignoring me.




NorthernGent -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 1:02:32 PM)

I would imagine taking away something she values whilst making it clear she in turn has prevented you from having something you value....is more effective than "you have disaappointed me".....as not only has she disappointed you but it's made clear to her she has ruined your evening.....

Such as....

If you like eating at restaurants......you take her.....she is told in no uncertain terms not to eat or talk.....she has a privilege taken away....and as she knows you really appreciate wine/food/conversation with her.....then it is obvious she has ruined your evening.

I don't go in for the 'punishment means the relationship has gone awry' school of thought.......there will always be something that is unsatisfactory....the issue is: are you a strict disciplinarian or not?




cassandria -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 2:33:13 PM)

NorthernGent, Sir? You just made me gulp. Aloud.




sunshinemiss -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 2:56:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I once made a girl get completly naked and lie directly on top of a cheap hotel bedspread.


That's disgusting.  You are a hard hearted bully butt.




Jeffff -> RE: Worst punisment you've given/received (7/14/2010 2:57:04 PM)

Thank you for noticing!




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