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ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron

AQS, I think you just hit the nail on the head.  It is a about a power exchange. Whether an adult needs to be punished or not is irrelevant if that is the power dynamic they have agreed to. The whole point in a power exchange is that one partner is yielding a level of authority and control to another partner. If they have agreed that part of that authority is the right to punish, then an adult sub would need to be punished simply because that is part of the agreed upon parameters of their relationship. The Dom/me does not get punished for the same reason, its part of the power exchange. And if a sub has a Domme that doesn't know how to discipline him or herself, then the sub should choose a better Dom/me

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ORIGINAL: myotherself
I agree with you LadyCimarron, in particular the bits in bold. For me, my kink does not include punishment. I'm looking for a dominant who does not want a punishment dynamic, and thankfully there seems to be many out there who fall into that category.

Just because the dynamic does not include punishment, it doesn't mean it's not a bdsm relationship. Every relationship is different, and it's what works for the people involved.

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ORIGINAL: whitekat

So there's various threads about 'how should I punish her for X' and 'What's the worst punishment you've gotten' but what I want to know is who punishes the dominant for their infractions?

I realize most people aren't like this, but I've been involved with various groups for several years, and one of the negative things I've noticed is the arrogance of dominants then they 'punish' submissive or slaves, while turning around and making mistakes themselves.

Who corrects their bad behaviors? Or are we left to just deal with their stupidity or selfishness. Is the fact that they have such a difficult time finding and keeping partners punishment enough? Or does that not work, since most never realize why they're alone?

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: myotherself
I agree with you LadyCimarron, in particular the bits in bold. For me, my kink does not include punishment. I'm looking for a dominant who does not want a punishment dynamic, and thankfully there seems to be many out there who fall into that category.

Just because the dynamic does not include punishment, it doesn't mean it's not a bdsm relationship. Every relationship is different, and it's what works for the people involved.

Nobody said that it doesn't.  There are plenty of D/s and M/s dynamics out there that don't even involve BDSM.

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ORIGINAL: Focus50
What a strange question... lol

When the girl screws up, she has to deal with me. But when I screw up, I've got the toughest taskmaster of all to appease. There's no escape; he waits patiently for me in every mirror. It's not a physical reflection so much as a reflection of my conscience, personal standards and sense of justice.

There's no bullshitting that fella.... And getting rid of all mirrors won't work either, 'cause then he won't let me sleep. Pfffft, at worst the girl only gets half an hour in the corner...!

Focus.

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

What on earth makes you think that submissives don't have to face their own reflections too, though?

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ORIGINAL: myotherself
Maybe I should have clarified here. At present I'm looking for a partner/dominant/whatever-the-label-is, and I'm getting a little weary of being told that not accepting punishment somehow makes me 'untwue'. Not from anyone on the boards, but from guys I know from personal experience who have been involved in wiitwd for many years.

I know they're not compatible with me, and I do move on, but I guess it's a bit of a 'hot button' at the moment

Just a personal note, that "twue" silliness is enough to give some folks a headache.  I don't know why that ever evolved.  The same goes for "weal".  I've never understood why it wasn't just acceptable to use the honest versions of the words as a shortcut to saying what is or isn't compatible for a person. 

I suppose it works both ways.  You're sick of people telling you that you're not a real submissive because a punishment dynamic isn't right for you and I'm sick of people who have to beat the dead horse against the topic of punishment and those who use it.  I'm willing to venture that neither of us are going to be converted to the other opinion, so let's just enjoy a cool afternoon beverage. 

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ORIGINAL: whitekat

So there's various threads about 'how should I punish her for X' and 'What's the worst punishment you've gotten' but what I want to know is who punishes the dominant for their infractions?

I realize most people aren't like this, but I've been involved with various groups for several years, and one of the negative things I've noticed is the arrogance of dominants then they 'punish' submissive or slaves, while turning around and making mistakes themselves.

Who corrects their bad behaviors? Or are we left to just deal with their stupidity or selfishness. Is the fact that they have such a difficult time finding and keeping partners punishment enough? Or does that not work, since most never realize why they're alone?

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ORIGINAL: Rogue886

Well as far as I am concerned if I make mistakes then I hope My girl would tell Me. As a lot of ppl on these boards have said before it comes down to communication & respect. I freely admit I am nowhere near perfect, & therefrore have & will make mistakes. And personally I`d rather know what My mistakes were so I can try to avoid making them again.

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

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ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

Oh, the injustice...

Who punishes the "dominant"? The consequences of his or her own actions, basically.

Yes, and don't you feel it should be that way for ALL adults? Or do you feel that subs are so dim that they dont get the consequences of their own actions and need further teaching?

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ORIGINAL: lally2

this about says it all really.

i can usually sense when whether or not someone is capable of saying 'sorry i got that wrong' or 'oops my mistake' - everyone needs to be culpable whoever they are and they need to be able to admit when they are wrong.

i have met a few D types who i genuinely believe considered it unDomly to ever get anything wrong or be seen to get anything wrong and thats just ridiculous.

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One would hope most issues are resolved with communication and honesty, however, the Dom is supposed to be driving the train, if he's that poor of an engineer, punishment isn't the issue, getting off the train is.

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

What on earth makes you think that submissives don't have to face their own reflections too, though?

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ORIGINAL: Kana

"Who punishes the dominant?"

IDK about anyone else, but I have this pesky little thing called a conscience...

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ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Focus, I got to say this is the most reflective (No Pun Intended) statement I think you have ever made for me.