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Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 12:10:32 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7
do they?? I have been reading alot of Profiles that people seem to think that all of us live the lifestyle 24/7.
I have even gotten messeges thinking that I do. I do not?
Why is it people think we live Bdsm 24/7 when it is not so?????

Sincerely, eyesofAslave~




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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 12:15:48 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		I know that it is impossible for most and I have yet to meet anyone that is actually doing it for real. Many say that they are, but then also say that they work outside the home. How does that work?
I think that's it's more like a serious hobby, something that comes second to a career, home and family. And call me vanilla if you like, but that's how it will always be for me.

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 12:20:47 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7
do they?? I have been reading alot of Profiles that people seem to think that all of us live the lifestyle 24/7.
I have even gotten messeges thinking that I do. I do not?
Why is it people think we live Bdsm 24/7 when it is not so?????

Sincerely, eyesofAslave~



If by living 24/7, you mean we wear leather jammies to bed and constantly walk around swinging an implement, or that subs are naked 24/7 and never make any decisions for themselves, no.
But I am a lifestyler 24/7, my conversations round the television set with my roommate involve BDSM - he likes to watch cooking shows & I am always kidding him about ginger. I wake up as a lifestyler, I talk lifestyle during the day & put my head on my pillow at night hatching evil to do to my subs for their enjoyment. The only time I didn't talk BDSM was at work, but I was still thinking about it.

So there is 24/7 and realistic 24/7

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 12:20:54 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Siamsa24,
I like what Your saying. It is hard to be 24/7

Sincerely, eyesofAslave




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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 12:36:11 PM   
GoddessJules


Posts: 549
Status: offline 		Shoshin,

I totally agree with you. There is TOTAL equivocation on the term "24/7". . .so to lessen the ambiguity, I usually say live-in or TPE.

~Jules~

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 12:52:09 PM   
ScorpioMaster


Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline 		The reality we are living in economical hard time and that every one needs to bring in extra money. I know some houses that are poly and they do have slaves who also work but the money is control by the Dom. He got every one working so they can live convertible. They are in a 24/7 relationship but to think if you are and not having to work is unrealistic idea. I am even thinking in the story of O she was rented out to other Dom’s and Mistress. Since pimping someone is against the law is not a good idea. Remember the skills you have will be used for the Master benefit and if that means you help bring in money to the house hold then you do it.

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 12:59:02 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

If by living 24/7, you mean we wear leather jammies to bed and constantly walk around swinging an implement, or that subs are naked 24/7 and never make any decisions for themselves, no.


Lady Shoshin,

We consider ourselves living 24/7. beth doesn't wear leather jammies, but every night she does wear leather collar/cuffs, sometimes attached together, to the bed, or free per my decision. she is naked 24/7 in the house, even when frying foods (she's to be careful). she IM's or calls prior to any decision that is outside the parameters set in the rules I established for her. And often I walk around swinging an implement. When together (I work she is home during the day) she must ask permission for any activity, from bathroom to having a cigarette. But I don't consider any of these to be examples of 24/7, because we can and could have done all those things without having a 24/7 relationship.
Like you, we also enjoy, lifestyle and non-lifestyle conversation, TV and other distractions. But I don't see this as "realistic 24/7". We identify ourselves as 24/7 because we maintain the TPE relationship 24/7. Whether I'm with beth or not, she exists and behaves under the rules I set for her.

Some people actually do live in this lifestyle as a couple 24/7. We have been living this way for over two years. Sure it is difficult. It is not for everyone. And actually, although I have been in this lifestyle many years, beth is the first person who agreed to even consider being in a 24/7 relationship with me. I have sought out this relationship for a long time. I've heard the comments like those from knees2you, "Nobody really lived the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 - do they??" Well, I always told any submissive I've been with - "Yes - I would!!" But, until beth, I never found a person who had that same desire.

It's not a requirement, it's not even a common goal of everyone who enjoys this lifestyle. There is no problem with being a 'weekend warrior' or a casual player or just being kinky once in a while to spice up your love life. Hell, that was me for the first 20+ years of my lifestyle experience. Some friends in the lifestlye we've met think I'm nuts to want to deal with beth asking permission for everything. Even the thought of making EVERY decision, what to eat, where to go, what to do, is overwhelming. But I have never been as fulfilled and happy as I am now living it 24/7. And, since beth is right by my side, I am not speaking for her (but I could) when I say she feels as strongly about it as I.

We would hold up our relationship to any challenge that it is not 24/7.

Merc & beth

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 1:01:16 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		Like everything else in this lifestyle, it is in your definition of 24/7. For me, yes I am a Domme 24/7, a very dominate person who enjoys being in control. If you interpretation is akin to being male or female 24/7 then no, no one can. I have had this discussion before. Going to the grocery store can be a vanilla event or not. The same can be said of going to work or to the dentist. BUT I am always who I am. It is also in your particular definition of D/s. Mine, the other Dommes and the males in my life view it as a mind set more than the outward trappings. Sundew

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 1:08:29 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7
do they?? I have been reading alot of Profiles that people seem to think that all of us live the lifestyle 24/7.


As most have said, it just depends on your definition of what 24/7 is. Also what is BDSM. Well it could go on and on.
There was a post here not so long ago is BDSM all about sex. So if you go by that analogy. How can you possibly be having sex 24/7? It cannot happen.
However if you take the lifestyle into its full context. The mental aspects as well as the physical. It can happen.
The only part of my life that is not controlled by my Dominant is my work. I run two households. However, when I say that the reason I run them is because I was told to run them. So, I am in control because someone has controlled me to be in control.
Did that make any sense?
So, I do believe one can live the 24/7 lifestyle. However my definition of it may vary from yours. To me the lifestyle is the daily grind of life and how we present ourselves within it.
I answer to a single person. I answer to him many times a day. That is the lifestyle in my mind. We don't play daily because life gets in the way. Perhaps he had a bad day at work?
Something more precident has come up. Whatever the reason doesn't mean we are not lifestyle.

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 1:42:03 PM   
NoCalOwner


Posts: 241
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you
Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7
do they?? I have been reading alot of Profiles that people seem to think that all of us live the lifestyle 24/7.
I have even gotten messeges thinking that I do. I do not?
Why is it people think we live Bdsm 24/7 when it is not so?????
Sincerely, eyesofAslave~


I've occasionally posted without thinking about how much other peoples' practice may differ from my own, just kind of assuming that we were all doing the same sort of thing as me. I'd imagine that I'm not alone in doing that, dumb though it may be.

We consider ourselves 24/7, and although I have to go to work, I am (as I type this) talking to my slave over an instant messenger about the tasks she's performing. No, she doesn't walk around naked in front of the kid, I don't have her on a leash when we go shopping, and I don't order "A stout for me, and a beer for my slave" at restaurants. But that's not what almost anyone means by "24/7." People can't stay in their houses 24/7, and constant public displays of kink may result in things like Child Protective Services coming to take away your kid(s), or inexplicable elimination of your position at work. So sometimes you have to play vanilla for people, but it's just an act, which you drop at the first possible moment. Not necessarily a very deep act, either. Anyone who is very attentive will notice that her collar is locked onto her neck, as it has been continuously for months.

"Live-in" does seem more accurate, though.

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 2:38:09 PM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline 		Yes, you can have a D/s relationship 24/7. That doesn't mean someone is always actively giving orders, but the dynamic is there. People can exist within the boundaries set by that dynamic while doing every day activities. You don't have to indulge in micromanagement to be 24/7. To me, what it boils down to is that one party has the final say, and the other party follows.

BDSM play 24/7 would most likely end up killing you after a while, I'm sure.

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 3:12:51 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		i have discussed this on several occasions over the past couple years with several Dommes. What i've heard and tend to agree with is it's simpy too much work, especially for the Dominant partner to be "On" all the time. Another good point is that people would likely burn out or get bored trying to live the day to day strictly adhering to protocols and such.

The descriptions in the replies here seem to support this. i think having a 24/7 attitude or understanding of who's who and why with little reminders and acts of D/s is more like reality. This way, those times when the intensity wave arrives, the full enforcement of Domination and submission can have more meaning.

anthrosub

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 3:13:56 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

BDSM play 24/7 would most likely end up killing you after a while, I'm sure.


We'll let you know...

Merc & beth

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 6:26:49 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

BDSM play 24/7 would most likely end up killing you after a while, I'm sure.


We'll let you know...

Merc & beth


That's the spirit you two!

Btw, can I say I really appreciate your addition to our collarme.com forums. And you look so cute in that pic, so in love, so wonderful. Ok, enough gushing! Aherm.

Now addressing kiki's remark

Physically:
Bondage --- well 24/7 bondage would cause severe muscle damage at the very least... true
S&M --- there is only so much percussion, piercing, stretching, burning, etc a body and mind can take... true

D/s --- now this one I see as totally safe 24/7 if both are willing and eager to communicate and make it work.

- LA

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 6:30:23 PM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline 		No i dont think of 24/7 means in cuffs, naked chained to whatever.

But to me it is a mind set. It is the mindset that my dominant is utmost importance in my life. That i think of things that will please him. Try and make life easier for him. Make sure his wishes and orders are being followed and that is 24/7!

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Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 8:08:26 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I guess it all depends on your definition here. If you live with your Dom/Domme and serve Him/Her whenever needed i would consider that 24/7 even if you have time to yourself as well. Whenever Hubby is home i wait on him hand and foot, i help Him with his business in any way i can, and on the golf course i always drive the cart when we use one. However i am not bound and used 24/7, don't wear a collar, don't call Him Master, don't stay naked all day, and i have quite a bit of freedom to do things with my friends and to play golf when i want. So you tell me if that is 24/7.

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proudsub

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/22/2004 8:25:00 PM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline 		Proudsub i would call that 24/7!

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Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/23/2004 12:04:27 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I believe in moderation, so my slave and I are only 23/7.

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/23/2004 2:39:29 AM   
merrymasochist


Posts: 156
Joined: 9/2/2004
Status: offline 		i think 24/7 could best be described as a mindset rather than a physical thing and Lady Shoshin has the right track...
quote:

If by living 24/7, you mean we wear leather jammies to bed and constantly walk around swinging an implement, or that subs are naked 24/7 and never make any decisions for themselves, no.
But I am a lifestyler 24/7, my conversations round the television set with my roommate involve BDSM - he likes to watch cooking shows & I am always kidding him about ginger. I wake up as a lifestyler, I talk lifestyle during the day & put my head on my pillow at night hatching evil to do to my subs for their enjoyment. The only time I didn't talk BDSM was at work, but I was still thinking about it.
So there is 24/7 and realistic 24/7

how it is interpreted varies from one lifestyle couple to another, but the common thread remains that the lifestyle is uppermost on our minds... it's not something that is ever put on the back-burner so-to-speak, nor is it something to be turned off and on like a tap...

< Message edited by merrymasochist -- 9/23/2004 2:40:47 AM >

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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/23/2004 9:06:55 AM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

it's not something that is ever put on the back-burner so-to-speak, nor is it something to be turned off and on like a tap...


I agree with merrymasochist. I do not view my submissive nature as something that I turn off and on - it is part of who and what I am. I do not think that 24/7 means engaging in one specific act of sadomasochism after the other day in and day out. Nor do I think it is an issue of continuous bondage and discipline. However, the Dominant/submissive or Master/slave dynamic within a relationship is one that does exist at all times. One does not stop being the master or the slave or the dominant or the submissive when one leaves to go to work in the morning. One continues to honor vows and parameters of the relationship regardless of the location or activity. When in a time, place, or activity during which one's partner is not present, that does not make either partner less.

If you think of in terms of a "regular" marriage, were I married and I go out with the girls or he with the guys or I go to work or visit my sister, I would not be less married because by spouse is not standing immediately beside me. I believe the same is applicable in terms of the D/s, M/s dynamic. To be a submissive does mean that I am on my knees every minute of the day and not being so does not lessen the level of control my partner has over me. As stated, the dynamic, the control exists within me, in my mind, in the way I act and think. Sometimes, that translates into an overt and explicit act; however, it is always an implicit understanding between my partner and me that does not require props and toys.

I do make a distinction between playing and scening and that which is a more committed relationship that maintains a D/s dynamic, but that is just me.

newflowers




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