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RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/23/2004 9:33:48 AM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

One does not stop being the master or the slave or the dominant or the submissive when one leaves to go to work in the morning


I do, but in my line of work I have to. And as far as the back burner goes, if it starts to negatively effect my work, relationships (friends etc.) or education then it does go on the back burner, but then of course so does my Dom and he knows that. There is more to a healthy relationship then just the two people in the relationship.

(in reply to newflowers)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/23/2004 10:31:24 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		And so siamsa24 I would say that by the generally accepted definition of a TPE relationship .. you dont have one.. you retain control .. you retain your own power within the context of the relationship.. giving it up for a specific time period in a mutally agreed fashion. And, there is nothing wrong with that .. it works for you and your partner.. There are others who retain no control and still manage to live productive lives. The example I give is a couple he is retired and a public speaker now..she is a high powered corporate lawyer in a major oil company. She is his slave... she never uses his given name ever at any time.. she doesnt talk about what she does in her life at work but at work she is still his slave.. she calls him each morning on arriving at work.. to dedicate her service to him through her work.. that through being sucessful at work she is a more sucessful person and that makes her a better slave ..she thanks him for the opportunity he allows her through allowing her to continue her work. She crawls to her bed each evening and thanks him for allowing her to serve him that day and allowing her to rest so that the next day she can re dedicate her service to him. She would if he so choose stay kneeling at that bedisde never resting her head.. while he snored away. That sort of relationship isnt for everyone but it is for them.. so yes 24/7 exists and functions in a TPE relationship.

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to siamsa24)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/23/2004 10:43:12 AM   
mergingdreams


Posts: 16
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline 		I am new to the lifestyle but I thinkas in all relationships you are a reflection 24/7 on your partner wether with them or not. Yes, you could be working or going to the grocery store which may or may not be *vanilla* but how you act reflects back on your partner in your activities. Who is to say that you do not run into another who is part of the lifestyle. You may not know them or even discuss anything with them, but the next time you are out with your partner you run across them. They might in fact have something positive or negative to say to your partner about that time depending on how you presented yourself. So to me it is not that perhaps you are with the person 24/7 but that you act in the manner you were trained to 24/7. You live within the guidelines and rules you were given.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/23/2004 7:10:45 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		I think it depends on how much control is being taken and given. If you are micromanaging a sub then it does become a 24/7 thing. This doesn't appeal to everyone. Certainly not to me. I would enjoy suprise domination, when least expected. If it's 24/7 control I'd lose the element of surprise.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to newflowers)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/23/2004 9:10:08 PM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

I think it depends on how much control is being taken and given. If you are micromanaging a sub then it does become a 24/7 thing. This doesn't appeal to everyone. Certainly not to me. I would enjoy suprise domination, when least expected. If it's 24/7 control I'd lose the element of surprise.


I don't see 24/7 as micromanagement, but rather that the relationship operates within certain guidelines 24/7. I am always the dominant in our relationship...she is always my slave. We don't turn off our dominance or our submission once we walk out of the dungeon. Granted, I don't always FEEL dominant or she may not always feel submissive, as life tosses us a curve or two, but the dynamic doesn't change.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/23/2004 9:29:19 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		I've been 24/7, and I've known other lifestylers who were, too. Keep in mind, as others have pointed out, fantasy and reality don't quite mesh, but I was a kept "houseboy" for almost two years. I wore a padlocked collar, the only key to which my mistress kept with her. I lived in her house, I did whatever chores were assigned to me. I dressed in whatever manner was dictated for me and at any time I might be called upon for "playtime". This does not mean that I was a mindless drone at the beck and call of whomever was in the house. I had opinions, I had my own income (which I willingly applied towards a share of household expenses) and I had my own friendships and relationships. However, my mistress came first, and if she required something of me (or even if some task simply amused her) I would do it, even if that meant setting aside my own plans and desires for the moment.

I've always wondered about the "fantasy subs" I encounter online, who refuse to refer to themselves in the first person and who claim to be some mindless extension of their owner's wills. I find myself seriously wondering if the've ever actually spent so much as one hour in an IRL scene, simply because I have never known a flesh-and-blood bottom who could keep that kind of behavior going for more than a few hours. It's a great fantasy, but it's not real life.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/24/2004 8:59:05 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

I've been 24/7, and I've known other lifestylers who were, too. Keep in mind, as others have pointed out, fantasy and reality don't quite mesh, but I was a kept "houseboy" for almost two years. I wore a padlocked collar, the only key to which my mistress kept with her. I lived in her house, I did whatever chores were assigned to me. I dressed in whatever manner was dictated for me and at any time I might be called upon for "playtime".



This is what I thought 24/7 was. A total TPE where in certain situations the sub/slave does not even have a car to get around in. I agree with others who say that in any relationship you still feel your role even during the day when you are away from your partner. But it is confusing to call that scenario also 24/7 to me. I am new to this lifestyle and it would help others that I know who are new to have some kind of definition. I know there have been threads on labels and people do not like them. But labels would help those who are looking for a partner. If I was looking for a 24/7 relationship I would review all profiles that mention 24/7. I hope this makes sense.

Sincerely,
ann

< Message edited by sweetpleaser -- 9/24/2004 9:00:54 AM >

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to Suleiman)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/24/2004 9:09:23 AM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		What I described was what was called "full time" or "lifestyle" back when I was involved in my local community (keep in mind that the lexicon I learned in all likelihood does not match exactly with other's useage of the same terms). This was as made distinctive from "players" (or, derogatively, "posers") who dabbled in the areas of SM but for whom it was really just a party thing - folks who liked the whole whips and chains concept as it applied to bed, but not as a major part of their life. The run of the mill leather person (who was given no appelation or epithet per se) was living what most folks seem to think of as "lifestyle" - that is to say the kink was a major part of their life, but they and their partners had real lives that would get in the way of a 24/7 arrangement.

Then again, most of the folks in that community tended to look down on folks who got their sm hook up off of the internet. Sheer elitism, of course, but every clique has its prejudices.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to sweetpleaser)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/24/2004 9:15:56 AM   
kajiranecantha


Posts: 16
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline 		this girl thinks this is the truest she;s heard. we also live 24/7. Yes, girl works out of the home, however it is at Mistress' orders and her paycheck gets directly deposited into Her account. The moment girl gets in from work, she undressess and gets into her "uniform" a long red cotton skirt reaching the ground and a white blouse. and starts on her work. We have a set scheduel..and sometimes other slaves to assist. we ARE 24/7...we just bend to the reality of life and work it into our lives.

_____________________________

submissively yours,

necantha

"What are you? A slave girl" Assassins of gor.

(in reply to LadyShoshin)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/24/2004 10:13:27 AM   
infyniti


Posts: 37
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline 		My 2 cents.... We all eat, we drink, we sleep, we are golfers, bowlers, friends, lovers, we own boats, pets, airplanes.
That makes us humans. We don't eat, sleep, golf, bowl, sail, fly or play with our pet all the time. There is a balance in life. That balance keeps us sane for the most part.

I live with a man first, a man i married. That man is also my Dom, my life partner, my soulmate. At 43, i feel it took me most of my adult life to find him and my world revolves around him. We have set up a household that is comfortable. He has the last the word.
I work part time ( though recently full time until December) along with that, i make dinner, i clean, i do laundry, i sew, i make love, i play, i laugh, and i feel that i am in a 24/7 D/s relationship. He is the strong character in my life. He is the discipline figure, the care giver ( when i am bumming) figure, my lover, my friend, my sadist

I believe we all make things work to the best of our ability. We are not a poly couple, we live for each other. NO, 24/7 is not about 24 hours a day of being tied to a cross, of being flogged or fucked. It is about spiritual control as well as mental and physical control. It is about the truth we share.

For me, i feel that 24/7 i am his submissive and he is my Master. He feels the same. ( we talked about this) We derive comfort from this, we derive pleasure from this, it is a very erotice adventure. And i sure hope the adventure lasts 4-ever.
Kinky is in my heart and in my soul.

infyniti

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/24/2004 3:26:00 PM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline 		knees2you,

WOW!!..... is about all this girl can say if that is what you really think.


Master Bear and His girl stormi are a 24/7 bdsm Master/slave couple. There is never a time that stormi is not slave to Him. stormi's ko'lar is never.... yes you are reading correctly, never removed, not to mention two tatoos that belong to Master as well.

Even in the most vanilla sittings where Master is called just Bear, if He sees that something has stormi riled up ..... He will look at her and say "enough", to which stormi says Yes Sir and moves to stand/sit near Him and remain quiet. So YES there truly are couples who do live 24/7, BUT that does not mean it is a game, or that they are "playing or having a scene" all the time.

be well,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/24/2004 4:37:29 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

Original: LadyShoshin

If by living 24/7, you mean we wear leather jammies to bed and constantly walk around swinging an implement


I had a lovely soft brown leather spaghetti strap, ankle length shift once, that I would wear while lounging about at home. A friend once commented on it saying, "I just adore your sleepwear!"

Re Lifestyle 24/7, I do believe it's natural.

< Message edited by LadyBeckett -- 9/24/2004 4:38:01 PM >

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to LadyShoshin)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/24/2004 5:54:28 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I think when someone advertises for a 24/7 sub or slave they mean live in, maybe marriage, as opposed to someone who just wants some scening or role playing.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to siamsa24)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/25/2004 8:05:03 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		So after reading all the responses, it looks like as long as someone has a relationship and *thinks* about it in a dominant or submissive way, that makes it 24/7. By that definition, it seems to be a rather meaningless statement; however when you see it in a lot of ads, it appears as though the folks are giving themselves merit badges for being "serious".

Anyway, I guess this all means I have a 24/7 relationship with my cat. She is a femdom.

(in reply to infyniti)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/25/2004 10:42:42 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

So after reading all the responses, it looks like as long as someone has a relationship and *thinks* about it in a dominant or submissive way, that makes it 24/7. By that definition, it seems to be a rather meaningless statement; however when you see it in a lot of ads, it appears as though the folks are giving themselves merit badges for being "serious".

Anyway, I guess this all means I have a 24/7 relationship with my cat. She is a femdom.


Well, if you choose to look at it that way, then anyone who chooses to be dominant, submissive, slave, switch, etc by following their particular path, have awarded themselves "merit badges" as well. In 24/7 relationships, the power exchange is real. The basic structure of the relationship doesn't go away when the scene is over.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/25/2004 10:49:23 AM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

Anyway, I guess this all means I have a 24/7 relationship with my cat. She is a femdom.


I feel ya. lol I have a male tuxedo cat, that is large for a domestic, very tall, muscular, and extremely possessive of me. Which he sometimes demonstrates aggressively. I call him my Dom. Our relationship is 24/7 also. *sigh* He won't let me out of his sight.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/25/2004 2:58:23 PM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		"24/7" is a military term dating from WW2 that was used to denote time in the field.

Needless to say, like most colloquialisms, it has been diluted and utilized to describe things unassociated with it's origins.

24/7 simply signifys that people are live in... with one another during the time they are not away from home.

The entire "I am 24/7 because we think of one another constantly" belongs with the dregs of high school "tittering".

And, certainly it is ambiguous - it is an adaptation that is not accurate at all.

The thing I dislike is the subjectivity of determination surrounding it.

~J

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/25/2004 9:13:03 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline
"24/7" is a military term dating from WW2 that was used to denote time in the field.

LoD,

Always wonderful to hear the origin of our modern day sayings.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline
Needless to say, like most colloquialisms, it has been diluted and utilized to describe things unassociated with it's origins.

[...]

The thing I dislike is the subjectivity of determination surrounding it.


In this lifestyle, we understand a general concept of 24/7. We don't all agree on it but we all know it has something to do with a desire to maintain a D/s dynamic throughout every aspect of the relationship.

On an other note, my local drugstore and supermarket are both 24/7, signifying that it is open 24/7 and also 365!

We change, we adapt, we appropriate... according to our needs. We create a common vocabulary. We do it all the time. We need to in order to grow. And in the end, there are only so many permutations, so many ways to express what it is we want to say.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 9/25/2004 9:14:53 PM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LordODiscipline)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/25/2004 9:30:40 PM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		"When I use a word", Humpty Dumpty said... "It means just what I chose it to mean - neither more nor less."
"The question is", said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is", said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master -that's all."

-Lewis Caroll

Step through the looking glass, boys and girls.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 9/25/2004 9:40:36 PM >

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Nobody really lives the Bdsm lifestyle 24/7 do they?? - 9/25/2004 10:15:49 PM   
bottominwa


Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		We live in a TPE 24/7...however this girl thinks the point made earlier several times that "24/7" is a loose defintion is of note. she has never known anyone to live naked 24/7 LOL! Although she certainly wouldn't mind it might make painting the house or watching the children difficult. she has been in her house 9 years and was required to go 24/7 stay home slave status 5 years ago and it has taken a lot of getting used to. However, she is not micromanaged and she thinks that as someone else pointed out to micromanage anything 24/7 for very long would lead to burn out on both sides. In this house Master cultivates the girl as more an extension of His own will...then a micromanaged tool. So yes Virginia there is a santa claus....hehehhehehe.

sabrina King

House of King

(in reply to newflowers)
Profile   Post #: 40
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