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RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 6:10:51 PM   
DarlingSavage


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quote:


I was talking about my Master.


LOL! 


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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 6:11:58 PM   
DarlingSavage


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

This thread is relative to the forums here. Assuming you are single and you see someone else within the forums that you think might be a good fit, how do you make it known? Or DO you make it known? Do you chime in on the same threads hoping to get their attention? Do you send an email on the other side? Do you signal by perving their profile on the other side as a clue? 


Within the forums?  I would email them outside the forum to let them know I thought they were attractive or whatever.  But I won't say anything directly to them in the forum. 

If I "perv" somebody's profile, it's not necessarily because I'm interested in them. 


No, I'm sorry. I thought it was more clear. I meant confining interest to those who post here, and how you would (or would not) approach them with interest. For instance, the way I set up my search on the other side, I don't think there's a single person here who shows up my online list. So it's like it's THOSE people, and then us here. Two, two, two pools in one.

I suppose it COULD be within a thread, but even for as bold as I think I could be that wouldn't be my style at all.

Jeff


I thought it was clear, too.  Now I"m just completely confused.


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Strangers have the BEST candy!

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 6:20:12 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

... Assuming you are single and you see someone else within the forums that you think might be a good fit, how do you make it known?


Firm and I noticed each other in the forums.  He was quicker to take action by putting me on his "admired" list.  I then emailed him in return and we started conversing.

If he hadn't indicated his interest by putting me on his "admired" list, I most likely would have contacted him anyway but it would have taken much longer.  I would have tried to engage him in a thread first to see if there was any kind of interest on his part.

He told me that he had intended to contact me directly, but was giving himself time to let "cooler heads prevail".  I kind of beat him to the punch. 

Edited to add that we would have never gotten together had we not been in the forums.  I didn't peruse profiles so would have never seen him.  I didn't show up in Firm's list as I was way outside his locale and the search criteria he used.


< Message edited by TreasureKY -- 7/25/2010 6:24:22 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 6:31:14 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

In the 'Investment in Relationships' thread yesterday I made the below post to the notion that Julia and Katy made that in approaching someone of the opposite sex (for women, anyway) that it is better for the man to make the first move.


I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this. It really depends on the individuals involved. If I see someone that catches my eye I have no problem saying hello. I will offer a compliment when warranted if I find his comments appealing. I'd rather be direct than beat around the bush. I have little time for chasing, dancing, or any mating games in all truth. Men that employ these tactics don't get very far with me.

I'm not a fan of profiles and I don't bother reading them either. I think it's an impediment to the conversation flow that interrupts its natural cadence. The benefits of discovery are lost when too much is shared. In regard to forums, I view them as enjoyable diversions but don't look upon them as opportunities for future engagements. Suitability and personal preference have never made them a viable resource for me.

~porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 6:34:03 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

Edited to add that we would have never gotten together had we not been in the forums.  I didn't peruse profiles so would have never seen him.  I didn't show up in Firm's list as I was way outside his locale and the search criteria he used.


My last partner and I met here 3 years ago. Alas, no more, moving on. Back.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 6:46:20 PM   
nancygirl34652


Posts: 291
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline 		i am usually too shy to post here but i do from time to time....but i do read the forums all the time....so much that i feel i know most of you but the only one i have been lucky enough to talk to off the forums is Lockit....but there are some Doms on here who have interested me enough by their posts that i will go look at their profile...just to see where they are, how old, etc. i also peruse the profiles....if a profile contains something that i find very interesting or something is said very well, then i will normally send a short message about it....however, i normally wait until i am approached....i figure if someone sees that i have viewed them and they view me, then they will contact me if interested...seems to be working so far...i have been lucky enough to meet some from the "other side" in real life and they have all been very nice people....not totally compatible but very nice.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 6:49:52 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		When I had an active profile on the other side I never contacted a profile that I found interesting. I would view them and if they were interested then I assumed they would contact me.
On this side I was a huge flirt, never with the intention of meeting someone. It was just pure fun with no pressure. I used to view a ton of profiles from this side just because I was curious to see a bit more of the person behind the words, especially if they said things that were witty or just plain stupid.
Shore's first post ever with his original profile was a direct response to one of my threads...this is going back to December of 2006. He never wrote me or really made me aware of his presence until he was ready, about a year later.
With him, once I was aware of him on the boards I used to log on and search to see if he had written anything and then finally I broke down and viewed him, not in stealth mode, but fully aware that he would see that I had looked. He wrote me and the rest is history.



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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 6:51:27 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

My last partner and I met here 3 years ago. Alas, no more, moving on. Back.

Jeff


I'm so sorry to hear things didn't work out, Jeff, but it's good you are back. 

Firm and I have always considered our past less-than-successful relationships with others as a hidden blessing.  If it weren't for the bad, we wouldn't have had the experience necessary to appreciate and make the most of the good relationship we now have with each other. 

Wishing you the best,
Treasure

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 6:59:40 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
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quote:

My last partner and I met here 3 years ago. Alas, no more, moving on. Back.

Jeff


I always thought you were with someone.  I actually thought you were married. Sorry it didn't work out.  That sucks. 


_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 7:05:26 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx


quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

Edited to add that we would have never gotten together had we not been in the forums.  I didn't peruse profiles so would have never seen him.  I didn't show up in Firm's list as I was way outside his locale and the search criteria he used.




My last partner and I met here 3 years ago. Alas, no more, moving on. Back.

Jeff


If you kept all the same stuff around you wouldn't have any room for new stuff... that is the way I choose to look at it....

Always forward...

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(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 7:13:27 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

My last partner and I met here 3 years ago. Alas, no more, moving on. Back.

Jeff


I always thought you were with someone.  I actually thought you were married. Sorry it didn't work out.  That sucks. 



No. Not married. Single and monogamous looking for perverse good times. Emphasis on perverse.

But enough about me.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 7:16:32 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I let them approach me. I can sit back and wait patiently. I am not desperate or needy for a relationship. It is an easy thing to do if you are not in a situation where you feel as though you need a relationship to complete you. I am traditional enough to believe that the man should lead and I should follow, that is truly my comfort zone. I am also careful not to give a man more attention than he gives me, he needs to want it as badly as I do, or it will not work.


Same here. Wanting something is not the same as needing it. I never approach anyone, they approach me. I will flirt with some here, and tell someone I like their posts, but come on to someone first? Nah, not going to happen.

One thing that always interests me is that so many people have me on their admirers list but they never say hello; same thing with being viewed. So I guess a lot of people have this passive approach.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 7/25/2010 7:19:22 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 7:20:35 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I let them approach me. I can sit back and wait patiently. I am not desperate or needy for a relationship. It is an easy thing to do if you are not in a situation where you feel as though you need a relationship to complete you. I am traditional enough to believe that the man should lead and I should follow, that is truly my comfort zone. I am also careful not to give a man more attention than he gives me, he needs to want it as badly as I do, or it will not work.


I will flirt with some here, and tell someone I like their posts, but come on to someone first? Nah, not going to happen.

But isn't that showing some interest? Isn't that, on some level, planting a seed? And what's wrong with that?

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 7:23:24 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Planting a seed for what?

It is usually showing interest just out of admiration for their words or point of view or how they express themselves.

It is also ok to be friends or acquaintances. I mean, there is someone on the board for example who is totally involved with someone. It does not stop me from telling him that I like his posts, etc.

But it doesn't mean anything beyond that.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 7:25:20 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

No. Not married. Single and monogamous looking for perverse good times. Emphasis on perverse.

But enough about me.

Jeff


Join the club...


_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 7:28:05 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

It is usually showing interest just out of admiration for their words or point of view or how they express themselves...

...But it doesn't mean anything beyond that.

So you mean you *don't* actually want to jump into bed with me?



(I'm only kidding, Gorgeous :P)


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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 7:46:50 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Planting a seed for what?

It is usually showing interest just out of admiration for their words or point of view or how they express themselves.

It is also ok to be friends or acquaintances. I mean, there is someone on the board for example who is totally involved with someone. It does not stop me from telling him that I like his posts, etc.

But it doesn't mean anything beyond that.

As humans, whenever there is interaction, be it typed or verbal, there are potentially up to three 'conversations'.

What you said. What I heard. And the truth.

Our brains process information subjectively based on a myriad of things. Some of these may be fellacious such that we misunderstand or misinterpret.

All I'm saying is that is it not possible that you, as a single person, paying a compliment to another single person could be 'loaded'? And not in a bad way. Is it impossible that instead of being direct and sending an email saying 'Hey! You're cute. Wanna chat some time?' which would be too forward for you, you send an email saying 'Hey! Nice post there.' (with or without the obligatory pat on the butt like football players) and not have it mean the same thing? It's just opening a door that the other person chooses or not to accept without taking the personal risk of putting your feelings on the line.

Jeff

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 7:53:16 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline 		I do not believe I have an approach as much as I know when to approach. I have never been the type of man that searches for whatever it may be that I need. Instead what I need tends to find a way to connect paths with myself on my journey and this includes relationships also. There is a distinct difference in finding someone to be interesting as opposed to knowing that my interest will not fade. When I know to approach I do so in a clear, direct yet uncompromisingly way that is offered with a one time effort. If my one time effort lacks receptivity I become quietly content to remain undisturbed. Life goes forth without fail knowing that if it is meant to be that I will one day connect paths with that special lady that gains my unwavering gentlemanly attention and unrelenting trustworthiness. Patience leads the way in all I set forth to accomplish. I have always been willing to wait for that which is of great worth and value to myself. The same personal value remains uncompromised.

Take care!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 7/25/2010 7:56:53 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 8:24:11 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx


... If I go through a day of posting where I don't get perved (viewed on the other side) I get all weepy and morose. ...Jeff


I perved you, but my profile is hidden. I'm stealthy that way.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: So what IS your approach> - 7/25/2010 8:29:52 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance


quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx


... If I go through a day of posting where I don't get perved (viewed on the other side) I get all weepy and morose. ...Jeff


I perved you, but my profile is hidden. I'm stealthy that way.

With my current photo I get perved very little, and at this moment in time I like it that way

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Profile   Post #: 40
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