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RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 9:09:27 AM   
PeanutTigerinBox


Posts: 1624
Status: offline 		It depends...

In general I don't take offense...my ex isn't a dominant as such, though he can be a pain in the arse at times...and when I dated him in 2005 he wanted me to wear skirts and stockings at times when we met....me not having worn a skirt since 15 years by then, felt a bit odd....also - as mentioned before on another thread at some point - he had bought me stockings with a really nice rose pattern on the siide....and on my way to him I popped into a supermarket in my area as I needed a drinking bottle for my bag (I always have my drink with me otherwise I don't feel comfortable).

Once I entered that shop a woman was shrieking at me and why??? Because she was desperate to know where I got those stockings from....gosh I wished the floor would swallow me straight away at that moment as her shrieking gave me far more attention then I ever wanted in the first place....I so wished she would have just asked me decently about that...

However, later at the tube I reflected on that situation and felt a little bit nice about her compliment of those stockings...

So him wanting me to show a bit more my feminine side was a good thing...and he had the intention to buy a dress with me at that time as he wanted to take me to his politician club in the near future where according to him the dress code requires from women to wear a dress...but that we never did at the end...and in general I still don't wear skirts at work or  uni or so....only for special occassions with special people.


Apart from him at the moment my longterm (though sadly most time distance) date demands me to address him with sir when I communicate with him as I had a few rants too many at him in the last months...as simply situation is a fair bit different then it looked it would be going to be originally when we started dating...and I dislike using the word Sir in the first place (as he knows) but he makes it clear, either his way or no way....meaning I had no long enough time to have my way now it is his way...and to be fair on him, it keeps my tongue more in its appropriate place as ranting at him is for me far more difficult with addressing him that way then without it.


On the other hand, before I was introduced to Bdsm I dated a bloke in London who made a fuss about the jacket I wore at that time....when we went out for dinner on one occassion he demanded that I wear his leather jacket instead...for him my jacket was not good enough (was nothing wrong with my jacket....just a normal black jacket, not made from leather)...on that occasion I felt offended as he knew pretty well that I had no work over 6 weeks from my agency at that time and when you live on your last pennies, then quite frankly the clothes you wear during such a time are the least worry on your mind...but he had a few more issues anyway, therefore soon later it was better to go separate ways.




< Message edited by PeanutTigerinBox -- 7/26/2010 9:15:26 AM >

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RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 9:27:13 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NymphetamineGirl

No derail intended but I was kinda touched by what porcelaine said (I often am actually) and I want to embrace this about myself, for I feel being a lady and being obviously sensual are inclusive.  The safety of being both publicly comes from trust in a Master, for me.


Thank you for the compliment. I believe sensuality is displayed differently and the personality of the woman can be intentionally masked through her attire or more prominent because of it. Overt displays are not to my liking. I'm of the belief a taste is more than enough and it should entice him to look closer to unwrap rather than gawk at the goods instead. I prefer elegant sophistication and that can be articulated whether one is wearing a tailored suit or jeans, pumps, with a white shirt and blazer. Quality and presentation can amplify or diminish ones look in my opinion.

~porcelaine


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RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 9:44:44 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Master likes my style. If i wear somefhing he does not like he will let me know and i will change. I don't take offense he only wants what is best for me. When i tell him i am getting my hair done he only says ok just don't get it cut short. That works well for me because i look much better with long hair than short. If he wanted short hair we would have to talk abo it cause it just dose not suit me. He des not micro manage me he trusst my jusgement in clothes and fashion. Of course what he likes me best in is nothing at all.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 12:49:26 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		~ Fast Reply ~

When we met for the first time, he said he liked how I dressed and how I wore my hair and make up.  He later commented that it was nice to kiss a woman whose make up did not rub off on his face. I don't wear a lot of make up.

He decides how short I can cut my hair, and as I've lost a lot of weight, wants me in more form-fitting clothes.  At home, "more skin is better" - as he wants me to dress as his eye candy (when the girl-child is not there).  I am still a bit self conscious at all the skin exposure, as I'm used to covering up from being so overweight.  But I'm getting used to it.

He's always telling me I am pretty and sexy, and if any of his preferred style changes enhances that in his eyes, then I'm happy to oblige.  He doesn't typically dictate what I where to work or when I am out with friends, without him, although last week I was going out with another couple, without him, and he said "wear something sexy."

The only thing I've had a hard time with is I think he wants me blonde at some point.  He loves the blonde look.  This does not make me feel not good enough or that he doesn't like me enough - if he didn't then he shouldn't have picked me.  But he just loves the blonde look.  I would look washed out as a blonde and my hair stylist said she won't do it!  I asked if I could practice with wigs, first, and he laughed and said we could do that.

We all have our taste preferences. He loves blondes but chose me.  I love black men but chose him.  We both love each other. We're both extremely happy with the choices we made. 

< Message edited by NuevaVida -- 7/26/2010 12:50:13 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 1:22:09 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		There is a right way and a wrong way to tell a woman something.
Luckily, Shore knows the right way.
As of now, he tells me how to dress at certain times.
I think it will progress to a 24/7 thing when my finances become more stable and I'm able to purchase the things I know he likes.
I have to get his permission to cut my hair or to restyle it.
I have to weigh in every morning for him. He has set goals for weight loss for me.
He's never told me how to do my makeup other than the times he's told me to wear red lipstick.
He's rational and knows my financial limitations and doesn't put added pressure on me.
I'd like to be able to dress better for him...some day.

I've never taken offense to anything he's told me. I think of myself as lucky that he enjoys seeing me dress for him or look the way that turns him on.

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RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 4:51:15 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

There is a right way and a wrong way to tell a woman something.
Luckily, Shore knows the right way.
As of now, he tells me how to dress at certain times.
I think it will progress to a 24/7 thing when my finances become more stable and I'm able to purchase the things I know he likes.
I have to get his permission to cut my hair or to restyle it.
I have to weigh in every morning for him. He has set goals for weight loss for me.
He's never told me how to do my makeup other than the times he's told me to wear red lipstick.
He's rational and knows my financial limitations and doesn't put added pressure on me.
I'd like to be able to dress better for him...some day.

I've never taken offense to anything he's told me. I think of myself as lucky that he enjoys seeing me dress for him or look the way that turns him on.



I would love to be there for the weigh in.....


(microphone mysteriously drops from the bathroom ceiling....Shore dressed in a tuxedo, grabs the mic and starts to speak)

....And in this corner, weighing in at one hundred and...Oh My Fucking God!!! pounds....... We have the Ho of yo, the ass to mouth assassin, the Taylor pork roll herself, give it up for the knobby kneed nad licker, Aileen!!!

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RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 4:59:42 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Don't you feel kinda sorry for Shore.... carrying all the weight of the relationship on his shoulders.... so to speak.

Shore is a good guy.

We might consider a SHore-A-thon

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RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 5:25:41 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I swear to God you two are like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 6:03:04 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Scary isn't it?

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 6:27:11 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Yes, and I did not feel criticized. A dominant asked me to grow out my bangs. I think his reasons were that the bangs made me look too young and he probably also felt that I was hiding behind them. We were together years ago, and I still have no bangs. I should mention though, that he is a smart guy, undoubtedly one of the smartest men I have ever known, and I always held his comments and opinions highly.

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 7:08:01 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		So, if we boil all this down, for the majority, it's who says it, how they say it, and when they say it.

Heck, I knew that...

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 7:22:23 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Yes, and I did not feel criticized. A dominant asked me to grow out my bangs. I think his reasons were that the bangs made me look too young and he probably also felt that I was hiding behind them. We were together years ago, and I still have no bangs. I should mention though, that he is a smart guy, undoubtedly one of the smartest men I have ever known, and I always held his comments and opinions highly.


I think he was trying to create his very own Cousin It.


You would have to shave your pussy a bit.

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RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 8:16:20 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		It completely depends on the tone and our dynamic.  Do I feel secure and adored?  If yes, then criticism is easy to take and use constructively.  Do I feel insecure, underappreciated, yada, yada?  Then anything you say is a reason to be offended.

The saying is something like...people will forget what you said to them, but they'll never forget how you made them feel.

Besides, I like knowing the person I'm with is enjoying me at full potential.


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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Taking offense? - 7/26/2010 9:15:06 PM   
Dragonswhore


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/22/2010
Status: offline 		My Sir has some different ideas about clothing than I do, but for the most part we agree. He wants me either naked, or in skirts with no panties...that doesn't bother me at all, I think it's flattering he wants to be able to get at me easily.

He does like red hair, so i will probably go back to that eventually. He prefers the more natural look, no make-up..which is good for me also. He wants me to quit tanning for my health, a hard one for me, but since it's his wish I will find a way to do it.

He will always pick my clothes, keep my hands and nails done, and have me pleasing for him.

None of this upsets me, I actually love his input. I much prefer he tell me what he likes me in, and be proud of being with me in public or private, than to not say anything while I constantly try to pick something that will knock his socks off.

I look forward to being the best I can in every way, and I trust him to get me there.

Just my thing I guess.

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/1/2010 9:58:27 AM   
txurinal


Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		Often been told how to dress, how to cut my hair, etc. It never bothered me as my goal was to obey and please. The MASTER i see currently has ordered me to keep my pubic areas completely shaved, which i gladly do for HIM

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Taking offense? - 8/1/2010 3:38:47 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		My ex suggested I grow out my hair, and I was offended to the nth degree. I basically had a fit (it was my first experience with being told I ought to alter something physically, and I think I was just shocked) and told him "no freakin' way," but I have a really hard time disobeying even the most indirect suggestion, and I grew out my hair. It's quite a bit longer now and I really, really love it. Go figure

Seriously though, I have a hard time with this one. Because in my experience, my image of myself and how I am attractive is very solid and makes me awfully happy. If someone comes in and tells me "if you wear preppier clothing and bright red lipstick you'll be more attractive" I'm thinking they have this image of someone else in their head that they want me to be. For instance, I have these red tennis shoes and brown hoodie that I just adore. They do not look delicate and feminine, they make me look like a 12-year-old at recess. But you know what? A big part of me is a 12-year-old at recess, and if I looked like a French model all the time, I would never get to be that. If you don't sometimes want a 12-year-old at recess, I am probably not the girl for you.

On the other hand, even though I have a fit when someone suggests I change something about myself (evidently, based on limited experience), I do find it enormously sexy to be physically attractive to my Dom, whatever that means to him. And I have to admit that I even found having a fit and then changing my hairstyle anyway kind of hot. So who knows what I think, is my conclusion to this one

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/1/2010 5:05:57 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		That's why I post these questions, to help others get to the bottom of things!

*adds pushing a french model on a merry go round to my to do list*

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Taking offense? - 8/1/2010 5:59:58 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

My ex suggested I grow out my hair, and I was offended to the nth degree. I basically had a fit (it was my first experience with being told I ought to alter something physically, and I think I was just shocked) and told him "no freakin' way," but I have a really hard time disobeying even the most indirect suggestion, and I grew out my hair. It's quite a bit longer now and I really, really love it. Go figure


The hair thing seems to be common. But I'm dying to hack my tresses off. There's something about those blunt bobs that I can't dismiss. It looks svelte and I love it.

~porcelaine



< Message edited by porcelaine -- 8/1/2010 6:00:42 PM >

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His will; my fate.

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 5:38:01 AM   
NymphetamineGirl


Posts: 55
Joined: 11/29/2009
Status: offline 		Haha, I just cut my super-long hair really short. It's naturally super-spiral curly and non-naturally red, which I did just for fun for the summer ( I love my rich dark brown). It's in a style like what porcelaine described and I forking LOVE it. Still enough to grab onto though :) And NO I won't post a pic. I exercise fairly complete freedom over my appearance, which varies widely by season and mood (pretty modest though, except for special occasions). I did ask my husband how he'd feel about it, though he's never tried to change my appearance, as a courtesy. Only thing bigger than radical hair, to me, would be body piercing/tattoo. Then again, my hair is rather representative of my personality--wild, shiny, rich, thick, and kinky.

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 5:54:07 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline 		he expects me to wear skirts or dresses and no underwear in the house both of which i am happy to do if its cold or wet when we go out he doesnt mind if i wear jeans etc as long as i am comfy. he didnt order me to be completely shaved but made it clear he expected it and i was happy to comply. he would love me to wear high heels but knows it would damage my knees more so doesn't ask me to. and as somone said before he doesnt like me getting a tan either for health reasons as its bad especially as i burn first.

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Profile   Post #: 60
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