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RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 6:20:28 AM

jujubeeMB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
The hair thing seems to be common. But I'm dying to hack my tresses off. There's something about those blunt bobs that I can't dismiss. It looks svelte and I love it.

DO IT. It's really fun cutting everything off, and it all grows back in a few months anyway

What I really wish I could pull off is one of those pixie cuts, but that's just cause I'm lazy and my hair takes work.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
*adds pushing a french model on a merry go round to my to do list*

Add that to my list too, except make it a male french model

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 8:16:18 AM

chamberqueen

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I was talking to a "Master" at one point and was under consideration by him. He told me that I was beautiful, but to be his I had to have breast implants, and tummy tuck, and liposuction along with changing my hair color to a shade I knew would not match my skin tone. He was basically looking for "Slave Barbie". I asked him if the thought I was beautiful why he felt I needed to undergo so many changes, and he told me to be worthy of being on his arm. Didn't happen. LOL That Master is still looking for a slave a year and a half later.

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Post #: 62

RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 8:40:15 AM

bestheadyet

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omg i sooooooooooo relate to this particular entry!!!!

i am perfect except........
always the exception......

maybe that should be the new nickname here lol.

i have not read the thread for lack of time,but this entry hit me upside the head.(during its scrolling)
ty chamber ....sometimes i feel like im the only one feeling this way!

ill catch the thread later.....blessings

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Post #: 63

RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 10:13:25 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

DO IT. It's really fun cutting everything off, and it all grows back in a few months anyway What I really wish I could pull off is one of those pixie cuts, but that's just cause I'm lazy and my hair takes work.

I've done it in the past including the pixie. I don't know if I'll go that short. But it sounds appealing.

~porcelaine

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Post #: 64

RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 3:29:49 PM

cosmicbunny

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i'm a heavy make-up goth type girl, andi am ALWAYS made to take off every trace before any fun happens, and i absolutey hate doing it.

bunny
XxX

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Post #: 65

RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 3:50:49 PM

kallisto

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

So, if we boil all this down, for the majority, it's who says it, how they say it, and when they say it.

Heck, I knew that...

Exactly

It's the who, how, and when.... and sometimes where

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Post #: 66

RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 7:48:19 PM

DarlingSavage

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

To the submissive women:

If you have ever had a dominant tell you to change your "style", whether hairstyle, clothing, makeup, etc, did you take offense, on some level? Did it make you feel lessened, or criticized?

This popped in my head earlier, while watching the tube; there were two women, both fairly attractive, but they had a semi Tammy Faye Baker eyelash thing going on...

EW! I had one guy say that he wanted me to submit to him on the first date by letting him have my hair cut. I said, "Thanks, but no thanks." I wasn't offended, he explained what he wanted, but I'm not about to hand someone my submission when I don't even know them or that I even want to give that to them.

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 7:51:40 PM

itsmeinLV

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Speaking about physical appearance only, yes, I have been asked to change a few things about myself. I did feel a bit of offense because it hit my self-confidence button.

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/2/2010 8:04:04 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Ladies that said "no, I didn't take offense", was there no sense of "why's he telling me to _____?"; I guess what I'm getting at is, if you did a certain thing, then obviously you thought well of it, and when you were told to change, were there no qualms of any sort?

Well, I've never had a Dominant insinuate that I was ugly or unattractive, etc., so it didn't insult me. I know that everyone has personal likes and dislikes, and I've had Dominants tell me to dress or wear make-up a certain way because that's just what They liked on Their submissive. I knew that's why He would ask me, so I would do it to please Him & never felt badly about what I was doing before either.

~sweetsub~

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/3/2010 4:34:03 PM

pains

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My opinion is that it is important I am pleasing for my Master not just in the way I behave but also in the way I dress etc, he has never asked anything of me that would be considered drastic but does state his preference on what he prefers me to wear but I wouldnt go as far as saying Im micro managed.

I have not taken offence and nor would I as I stated above I want to be pleasing to him and if my 'style' is not pleasing to him then i would want to know in order to change it.

p

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Post #: 70

RE: Taking offense? - 8/4/2010 4:39:15 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Yes I have, no I didn't take offense. That having been said, let me make it perfectly clear that I'm not walking around 24/7 in latex and tiger print pumps.......

Another dream destroyed....

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/4/2010 7:15:11 AM

tiggerspoohbear

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My Sit knows I'm low maintenance. I wear what I feel comfortable in, hardly ever wear make-up and my hair gets washed and dries on its own. I will wear make-up if going out to an event or such and will dress up more. It's a treat for me to get to make myself up, try to do my hair (try being the operative word) and get to wear a nice dress or skirt.

I've had and still do have problems with self-esteem because of my weight and he's very well aware of this. No way does he put me down, but if he wants me in a certain outfit, I'll do it to please him and it makes me feel better that he wants me to wear a certain item or not.

As for high heels, i usually only wear sandals during the summer and low heel boots during the fall, winter and spring. If he wants me in heels, then I get dropped off as close to the entrance as possible, I sit down, and I get picked up at the entrance. Not because I demand it, but because some of the heels I own are damn hard to walk in. My knees are done in from falling down too many times and I have weak ankles that can turn over in bare feet. Yeah, yeah, I'ma klutz and proud of it.

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/10/2010 10:50:04 AM

daddymel

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Daddy told me he wanted to send me to that rue paul show that takes plain girls and makes them dress girly and while it didn't really offend me it did hurt. I don't have girly clothes to wear. I hardly have any clothes besides my work uniforms as it is.

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/10/2010 11:01:09 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddymel

Daddy told me he wanted to send me to that rue paul show that takes plain girls and makes them dress girly and while it didn't really offend me it did hurt. I don't have girly clothes to wear. I hardly have any clothes besides my work uniforms as it is.

See, I find that offensive. If you are a simple or plain woman and he chose you, why on earth would he suggest that you go on a reality show that features 3 over the top drag queens making over simple, plain women?

It is completely passive aggressive behavior on the guy's part. If you do not like a woman the way she is, don't be with her. If a woman asks a guy for his opinion on her hair, etc. that is cool, but to hurt someone by intimating they should change, is highly offensive.

It boggles my mind. If you don't have any clothes other than work uniforms, tell the dude to buy you everything.

Shakes head....

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/10/2010 11:15:01 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

See, I find that offensive. If you are a simple or plain woman and he chose you, why on earth would he suggest that you go on a reality show that features 3 over the top drag queens making over simple, plain women?

Unless they've negotiated a hands off philosophy on her appearance it's up for grabs. It could be enhancing and not meant to offend at all. I think this goes in line with the idea that you can't dial up perfection.

I don't see any difference between the show and Queer Eye that was very popular a few years ago. It's a way for people to improve themselves without any out of pocket costs and more than a few have bitten the bullet. Getting the same from a professional image consultant wouldn't be cheap.

quote:

If you do not like a woman the way she is, don't be with her. If a woman asks a guy for his opinion on her hair, etc. that is cool, but to hurt someone by intimating they should change, is highly offensive.

I don't know anyone that is keen on every aspect of their partner's being. There's always something that isn't your cup of tea but in the grand scheme of things it is minor when compared to the gains.

quote:

It boggles my mind. If you don't have any clothes other than work uniforms, tell the dude to buy you everything

Perhaps he's unwilling or unable to finance that. The community isn't overflowing with well heeled men. And those that are would have already covered this without her input. It goes along with the territory.

~porcelaine

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/10/2010 11:30:51 AM

sexyred1

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I understand all that you have pointed out, Porcelaine, but I still maintain that many people have a very unrealistic visual of what they want their partner to look like.

Because of that, many, many people use passive aggressive techniques to make their partner feel badly about how they look, that they are not measuring up, etc.

As I stated, if one asks for an opinion or advice, that is a different story.

Let me give an example: I just saw a talk show where women were on confronting their men on how they made them feel badly about themselves.

In one case, this cute, sporty looking girl was with a man for 5 years who was obsessed with Megan Fox. Obsessed to the point that he got 5 tattoos of Megan Fox on his body; he kept a photo album of Megan Fox next to their bed, etc.

She tried to laugh it off and put up with it, but he kept saying to her, I wish you looked like Megan Fox, if you did, I might be more into you, blah blah blah.

The other examples on the show were less intense, but no less hurtful. A psychologist came on and said these people are delusional and hurtful and offensive and that they are damaging their partner's self esteem.

In pretty much each case, the woman left the relationship because the man felt that it was ok to constantly compare.

That is how I see some of this topic. Not that all comments or wishes to see shorter or longer hair, etc are bad, but if you need to change someone that much, there is a much bigger issue going on.

Perhaps I have been lucky in my life that none of my relationships felt any need to criticize or change my looks. I remember asking my husband if he liked certain clothes, make up, etc. and he would answer honestly, but he always said, hon, I love you and think you look great all the time, so whatever you choose is fine with me.

P.S. I liked Queer Eye and felt it was not mean spirited. I feel some of the current crop of makeover shows, are.

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/10/2010 11:48:01 AM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Yes I have, no I didn't take offense. That having been said, let me make it perfectly clear that I'm not walking around 24/7 in latex and tiger print pumps.......

Another dream destroyed....

LOL sorry to disappoint!

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When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/10/2010 12:27:56 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I understand all that you have pointed out, Porcelaine, but I still maintain that many people have a very unrealistic visual of what they want their partner to look like.

You know, that is probably true. But I guess I'm not sure why any of this is even a question. It seems to me that there's only a few ways this can go.

TPE Relationship: Any and all changes within scope
Non-Total Relationship: Some stuff in scope, others out. Needs to be discussed in the "limits" discussion.

For the record Sexy, I've changed more than trivial things with Carol and I have no compunctions about changing more. I don't "need" to change Carol that much. I just happen to like playing with my female slave and I see no reason not to steer towards perfection in terms of physical looks. You know, the whole "mine" thing and all. But that being said, there are no "bigger issues" going on here. There's just Carol and I loving each other. It needn't always be sinister motives.

And that show you referenced... I often think we need a "men's lib" in this country. I say that because men-bashing is seen as perfectly acceptable - even fashionable, and the subject matter on the show was a perfect example. If the genders had been reversed, would the networks have allowed it to air? I'm venting here, but men can be bashed to a degree that would never be tolerated with women - and it just flies under the radar.

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/10/2010 12:54:19 PM

laurell3

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I don't know about that Jeff. I'm not sure it's as simple as looking at the dynamic type. If you look at the answers in the thread, it's fairly obvious there is a way to suggest things that may be better than others. Even in a TPE situation, if one constantly indicated to their partner by their comments and the way they made them that they did not believe their partner was good enough, eventually it would probably destroy the foundation of the relationship.

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RE: Taking offense? - 8/10/2010 12:54:28 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I understand all that you have pointed out, Porcelaine, but I still maintain that many people have a very unrealistic visual of what they want their partner to look like.

You know, that is probably true. But I guess I'm not sure why any of this is even a question. It seems to me that there's only a few ways this can go.

TPE Relationship: Any and all changes within scope
Non-Total Relationship: Some stuff in scope, others out. Needs to be discussed in the "limits" discussion.

For the record Sexy, I've changed more than trivial things with Carol and I have no compunctions about changing more. I don't "need" to change Carol that much. I just happen to like playing with my female slave and I see no reason not to steer towards perfection in terms of physical looks. You know, the whole "mine" thing and all. But that being said, there are no "bigger issues" going on here. There's just Carol and I loving each other. It needn't always be sinister motives.

And that show you referenced... I often think we need a "men's lib" in this country. I say that because men-bashing is seen as perfectly acceptable - even fashionable, and the subject matter on the show was a perfect example. If the genders had been reversed, would the networks have allowed it to air? I'm venting here, but men can be bashed to a degree that would never be tolerated with women - and it just flies under the radar.

Regarding the show and so called male bashing. If it was a show about women who were getting tattoos all over their bodies of Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson, etc. and the men were feeling hurt and offended, I am all for that as well.

I am an equality opportunity stupidity basher and believe all stupidity from either gender should be addressed.

As for "steering towards perfection" in terms of physical looks...I believe that is a common trait of humanity to desire to look your best and have one's partner reflect your taste level.

I just think it goes a tad far when morons are getting movie stars tattooed on them and holding the movie star's photo next to the bed while they fuck their regular girlfriends.

I mean, really??

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 8/10/2010 12:57:42 PM >

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