RE: Request made for wearing high heels

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OttersSwim -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 7:21:11 AM)
If this is something you decide you want to do for him, then my advice would be to ask to negotiate on the issue. There are foot issues that can arise from the wearing of high heels and certainly you need to be aware and take steps to avoid those issues if you want this to work. So talk to him. Heels of any sort need to be of reasonably high quality, and your feet need time under pressure as it were to get used to wearing them. Get some heel insoles and gel inserts, and wear heels for a couple of hours each day so your muscles, arches, tendons, and legs can build the structures needed to wear them longer and with more comfort. As a girlie-boy, I am coming at this from feet that had never worn heels and I had to work up to them and do my best to give my feet time wearing them - especially in the weeks leading up to an event where I know I will be in heels for the night. They are still damned uncomfortable things and if I have to walk long distances, I will still slip them off. :)

whiteslavebitch -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 7:25:19 AM)
MasterK loves high heels, and I used to wear them for him during play. However, several months ago I severely sprained my ankle, and I can no longer wear them. He is very understanding of that, and I no longer wear them at all.

Chrisincuffs -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 8:00:48 AM)
I guess all the time I spent playing hockey paid off! My ankles are strong enough to wear some pretty extreme heels. I agree with the guys on here that a stiletto is much sexier than a wedge and gives them something to grab when your feet are in the air! lol. I feel very lucky then that Master prefers me on my knees and could care less about heels. Master thinks I'm hawt as fuck when I'm all dressed up, but prefers to see me completely vulnerable with no make up, no clothes, no shoes

juliaoceania -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 8:09:26 AM)
I am seeing someone new who wants me to wear heels of different types. I have not worn heels much over an hour or two in about 20 yrs. He wants me to wear them on occasion, and I have agreed to. I discussed with him the pain issues and that heels were bad for women's feet. He assured me he would not have me wear them to where this became an issue. I am 5 foot 10, he and I are about the same height, but he doesn't care that I will be so much taller in them. He is so secure about who he is, he does not care how tall I am in comparison. There is something very submissive about being "forced" to be a giantess[:D] ... and I think he sensed it in the way I questioned him about wearing them. If a dom wanted me to wear awful shoes the entire time we were together, I would not do it. I think it is important to note that fetish shoes often have a platform to increase height, if that makes you more comfy. Good quality shoes will also make a difference in how long you can comfortably wear them. I have decided that since he wants me to wear them when he takes me to museums, etc, I will bring an extra pair of flats until wearing them becomes more comfortable..... you do have to work up to being able to wear heels, it gets easier as you practice (I remember this from the days when I wore them a lot)

porcelaine -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 8:24:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania If a dom wanted me to wear awful shoes the entire time we were together, I would not do it. I think it is important to note that fetish shoes often have a platform to increase height, if that makes you more comfy. Good quality shoes will also make a difference in how long you can comfortably wear them. I have decided that since he wants me to wear them when he takes me to museums, etc, I will bring an extra pair of flats until wearing them becomes more comfortable..... you do have to work up to being able to wear heels, it gets easier as you practice (I remember this from the days when I wore them a lot) Ditto. I walk everywhere and I don't drive. There's no way I'd last in those shoes all day. Plus I have a real issue about not being comfortable when I'm out and about. It's annoying. I agree that quality is a must and I've taken shoes back on more than one occasion that didn't fit the bill. If being in heels all day was something my partner wanted me to do I'd require some bespoke pieces. They would fit far better than anything you purchase off the rack. ~porcelaine

Bobanna -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 9:44:24 AM)
Update: One of the men I was speaking to (and was becoming quite attached to) came to the realization that the person he is looking for has to be willing and do what he says without question regardless if there may be a logical reason behind why they would protest in whatever he wants them to do. I told him that he is looking for someone with what I would term a "slave" mentality (loosely defined by me as someone who obeys without thought) And that I was definately not that type of mentality. Not even close. ((Via ----> the stiletto heel issue. )) So after many markers that we did match on (morals, common interests, and so forth) it came down to little issues such as heels, necklaces and silly things that I felt would infringe and take away from my free spirit, which is a part of me I cherish. Thus I wished him well and have ended our communication as of this morning. The other man I'm conversing with (that has the desire for me to wear high heels) seems to have some other red flag issues that are anthother story all together, probably moral issues. SIGHS ~~~~~~

DesFIP -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 9:52:57 AM)
Above the age of 30, all women have problems wearing heels. As far as men who insist on this stupidity, just tell them to talk to your podiatrist and get his approval first (plus pay the bill). Mine flatly refuses permission for me to ever wear heels while standing. I do wear them lying down.

happylittlepet -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:05:31 AM)
My Chiropractor is my spine's Master [:)] So no heels here. Like DarkSteven said, it's a great screening tool. I brought health issues to the attention of a Dom who is into heels and corsets. He insisted to have it his way, without respect for his prospect. Then I have heard enough.

UniqueRaven -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:08:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobanna Update: One of the men I was speaking to (and was becoming quite attached to) came to the realization that the person he is looking for has to be willing and do what he says without question regardless if there may be a logical reason behind why they would protest in whatever he wants them to do. I told him that he is looking for someone with what I would term a "slave" mentality (loosely defined by me as someone who obeys without thought) And that I was definately not that type of mentality. Not even close. ((Via ----> the stiletto heel issue. )) So after many markers that we did match on (morals, common interests, and so forth) it came down to little issues such as heels, necklaces and silly things that I felt would infringe and take away from my free spirit, which is a part of me I cherish. Thus I wished him well and have ended our communication as of this morning. The other man I'm conversing with (that has the desire for me to wear high heels) seems to have some other red flag issues that are anthother story all together, probably moral issues. SIGHS ~~~~~~ Your entire experience here with shoes made me think of this corollary story about my experience as a slave, if it is useful for anyone....[:)] Slave mantra for the day: "Whatever must be endured, can be." i understand what the man you were speaking with was getting at here. Honestly, with my previous Master, the "shoes issue" was HARD for me for a long time. i cried, i begged, i pouted, i cited all sorts of information to him about how he was ruining my feet, my knees, etc...but at the end of it all, he just didn't care. He wanted me to wear the shoes, and nothing on my part would stop his desire for me to wear them - as it was about HIS fantasy, not mine, of what i was "supposed to be" as a slave. But over time i realized something much deeper, greater, and more profound - which was that it wasn't about the shoes at all. It was about him pushing me into learning and realizing that whatever he wanted is what would happen. And it wasn't about ruining my feet, knees, and body - he didn't want that, he did love me after all, and took care of me - it was about him seeing me giving him every bit of "me" to endure and accomplish what he set out for me - he wanted to see me give him my all, and make it work. And once i learned this lesson, and accepted that this was his will for me, and just did my best, then suddenly - it became easy. i tell you, repeatedly falling on your butt in the middle of Manhattan while wearing stilettos and a short skirt and walking on a tilted sidewalk in front of the building staff (almost all sidewalks in Manhattan have a slight tilt towards the street for draining) is way more humiliating than eating out of a dog dish and sleeping in a cage. The lesson i had to learn as a slave is you don't get to pick and choose your challenges - and what people think most often of as "slave challenges" - being beaten, caged, peed on, collared, leashed, etc. - are actually some of the easiest challenges. The hardest are the ones that you do not want to do, you have lots of reasons not to do them - you can even cite writings, posts, articles, etc., to back you up - and...the hardest challenge - where what he wants you to do goes against your identity, and how you have defined yourself as an adult human woman. These are the challenges that actually mean something - and are where there is the most growth as a slave. It's how you deal with these moments that define your slavery. i had to learn that it wasn't about the shoes - it was about obedience. Standard disclaimer, this is about my journey as a slave, isn't right for everyone, i don't say it's "the one true way," and so on and so forth. [:)] Edited to add: DesFIP, i wonder if you remember all this - i remember you posted to those "other" boards with me way back then...sometimes i wonder what you recall reading of my struggles over the years, ha ha! (hugs!)

juliaoceania -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:10:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Above the age of 30, all women have problems wearing heels. As far as men who insist on this stupidity, just tell them to talk to your podiatrist and get his approval first (plus pay the bill). Mine flatly refuses permission for me to ever wear heels while standing. I do wear them lying down. What if the man doing the "insisting" was a doctor?

juliaoceania -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:14:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobanna Update: One of the men I was speaking to (and was becoming quite attached to) came to the realization that the person he is looking for has to be willing and do what he says without question regardless if there may be a logical reason behind why they would protest in whatever he wants them to do. I told him that he is looking for someone with what I would term a "slave" mentality (loosely defined by me as someone who obeys without thought) And that I was definately not that type of mentality. Not even close. ((Via ----> the stiletto heel issue. )) So after many markers that we did match on (morals, common interests, and so forth) it came down to little issues such as heels, necklaces and silly things that I felt would infringe and take away from my free spirit, which is a part of me I cherish. Thus I wished him well and have ended our communication as of this morning. The other man I'm conversing with (that has the desire for me to wear high heels) seems to have some other red flag issues that are anthother story all together, probably moral issues. SIGHS ~~~~~~ Isn't it nice when they help weed themselves out?[;)]

UniqueRaven -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:23:22 AM)
You know, the human body can endure a lot more than we think it can. Modern society, and the free availability of information on the internet, can give us more information than we need - or is even useful, at times. For the majority of women out there, wearing stilettos for an evening isn't going to make her knees explode. Is it going to be really uncomfortable - oh yes!!! But that's often part of the point. [;)] i see it all the time in yoga - people who endure, and push themselves beyond what they think they are capable of, reap great rewards. Sometimes you just have to do something, and quit thinking about all the possible outcomes. [:)]

happylittlepet -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:25:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven It's how you deal with these moments that define your slavery. i had to learn that it wasn't about the shoes - it was about obedience. This. Then, like you wrote, it becomes easy. Edit: quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven Sometimes you just have to do something, and quit thinking about all the possible outcomes. Edit 2: It is his decision to forgo his desire when it can lead to a month worth of bed rest for his slave. After all, that deprives him of more obedience [;)] It all depends on who and what and where and when.

UniqueRaven -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:35:05 AM)
happylittlepet - Exactly. [:)]

happylittlepet -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:37:25 AM)
[:)]

juliaoceania -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:41:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven You know, the human body can endure a lot more than we think it can. Modern society, and the free availability of information on the internet, can give us more information than we need - or is even useful, at times. For the majority of women out there, wearing stilettos for an evening isn't going to make her knees explode. Is it going to be really uncomfortable - oh yes!!! But that's often part of the point. [;)] i see it all the time in yoga - people who endure, and push themselves beyond what they think they are capable of, reap great rewards. Sometimes you just have to do something, and quit thinking about all the possible outcomes. [:)] I think that pain is an indication that damage maybe happening. The human body is designed to take some abuse, but pain is an indication that something is going on that needs attention. I think that this is an individual decision, and there are no right or wrong answers. In some instances, such as someone that has issues with their feet, I would say that those issues need to be respected. I would also say if the discomfort begins to be extreme, this means that there is something going on that could be permanently damaging. If a man insisted that I walk around in agony with no relief, he wouldn't be the man for me. I would see this as a callous disregard for my welfare. I had my wrists damaged by a bad bondage session. They mostly came back to full function, but my last dom almost completely fucked up my hands by a bad decision on his part. He was not watching that my full weight was being held by my wrists.. .. if I COMPLAIN that I am in pain, and this isn't attended to, isn't checked, etc, it would be a red flag for me. Things can happen even if your partner doesn't want them to, if I am self reporting damaging pain and they say "suck it up", well that is not a relationship where I would feel valued. But that is just me. This is one of those things that requires trust. Who is it asking this of me? What is their skill to determine if something is going wrong? These are questions I ask myself about someone before I entrust myself to them. I would trust someone like a surgeon to determine what was okay for me more than I would, let's say, a long haul trucker. So if your dom is a medical professional, and is telling you that there seems to be no damage according to is xrays, well that kinda carries more weight with me than someone who does not know shit from Shinola about medicine, bones, ligaments, etc.... a dominant that told me to ignore my body would at the very least take me to a doctor to sign off that I was doing okay. But that is just me... And I see wearing shoes until you feel pain is different than ordering you to wear them past your pain threshold... Again, just me

sublizzie -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:43:37 AM)
I am of the mentality that I would force myself to do something to please the One (if I had one). BUT I can no longer feel the bottoms of the balls of my feet or the pressure on my toes. Therefore, if I'm wearing heels, I have no clue if my foot is on the floor or still inches above it. It's not safe for me to wear heels of any kind unless I'm in one place and off my feet. Doesn't mean I couldn't be put in a position where I would try but it wouldn't be safe at all.

DesFIP -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:46:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Above the age of 30, all women have problems wearing heels. As far as men who insist on this stupidity, just tell them to talk to your podiatrist and get his approval first (plus pay the bill). Mine flatly refuses permission for me to ever wear heels while standing. I do wear them lying down. What if the man doing the "insisting" was a doctor? Doctor specializing in what? Because a psychiatrist isn't going to remember anything about the foot from one class thirty years ago. An orthopedic surgeon wouldn't demand you wear them every day, all day. The stiletto emails we get aren't about going out to dinner on Friday night and him looking at you in the car with the heels on. They're about sleeping in them, showering in them and so on. Anybody who puts the fetish before the person he is engaging in is not someone I want to be with.

UniqueRaven -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:52:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I think that pain is an indication that damage maybe happening. The human body is designed to take some abuse, but pain is an indication that something is going on that needs attention. I think that this is an individual decision, and there are no right or wrong answers. In some instances, such as someone that has issues with their feet, I would say that those issues need to be respected. I would also say if the discomfort begins to be extreme, this means that there is something going on that could be permanently damaging. If a man insisted that I walk around in agony with no relief, he wouldn't be the man for me. I would see this as a callous disregard for my welfare. I had my wrists damaged by a bad bondage session. They mostly came back to full function, but my last dom almost completely fucked up my hands by a bad decision on his part. He was not watching that my full weight was being held by my wrists.. .. if I COMPLAIN that I am in pain, and this isn't attended to, isn't checked, etc, it would be a red flag for me. Things can happen even if your partner doesn't want them to, if I am self reporting damaging pain and they say "suck it up", well that is not a relationship where I would feel valued. But that is just me. This is one of those things that requires trust. Who is it asking this of me? What is their skill to determine if something is going wrong? These are questions I ask myself about someone before I entrust myself to them. I would trust someone like a surgeon to determine what was okay for me more than I would, let's say, a long haul trucker. So if your dom is a medical professional, and is telling you that there seems to be no damage according to is xrays, well that kinda carries more weight with me than someone who does not know shit from Shinola about medicine, bones, ligaments, etc.... a dominant that told me to ignore my body would at the very least take me to a doctor to sign off that I was doing okay. But that is just me... And I see wearing shoes until you feel pain is different than ordering you to wear them past your pain threshold... Again, just me i agree julia, it is an individual decision, and up to the relationship and the individuals involved. i don't necessarily agree that pain always indicates damage is occuring. i personally have worn heels until i literally could not walk - my ankles gave out - and my Master had to carry me. Did i have permanent damage? No. But might someone else? Sure, it's possible. It is all about trust. The reality is that i'm no less a physician than any Master of mine is. We both are capable of making informed decisions. The point is my letting go of my ability to make the decision, and giving it all to him. But then my absolute duty to him becomes absolute openness, and absolute honesty, about what i am experiencing physically, so that he can make appropriate decisions as a result. It isn't about disregard for my welfare - it's about his control over it. And you know, if i hurt my ankle and had to be on crutches for a month? So be it. For me, i would much rather have the experiences and the challenges in life, than find reasons why i can't do them. But again that's just me, please don't take that to imply anything other than that. Again, just me, just my thoughts, and so on.

juliaoceania -> RE: Request made for wearing high heels (7/30/2010 10:52:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Above the age of 30, all women have problems wearing heels. As far as men who insist on this stupidity, just tell them to talk to your podiatrist and get his approval first (plus pay the bill). Mine flatly refuses permission for me to ever wear heels while standing. I do wear them lying down. What if the man doing the "insisting" was a doctor? Doctor specializing in what? Because a psychiatrist isn't going to remember anything about the foot from one class thirty years ago. An orthopedic surgeon wouldn't demand you wear them every day, all day. The stiletto emails we get aren't about going out to dinner on Friday night and him looking at you in the car with the heels on. They're about sleeping in them, showering in them and so on. Anybody who puts the fetish before the person he is engaging in is not someone I want to be with. I was talking about a medical doctor, like maybe an internist or something of that nature, a surgeon, perhaps.. And I agree, being told to wear them to the movies once a week, or while eating out, or while at home (not walking around), is A LOT different than wearing them every day, all day long. I wasn't talking about that scenario... but addressing you only wearing them while laying down...

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