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ORIGINAL: DomYngBlk

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I have zero desire to please a man yet I adore dressing up all sexy like. I do it to please myself.

And, I do remember, quite some time ago, reading a study as to what REALLY drives women's desire to look good, have nice things, and an overwhelming percentage didn't do it for a man/men at all. They did it to impress/outdo other women. We assume most guys will like whatever we wear.

Sorry guys![:D]

But then if you all hate wearing high heels......then why are they worn?

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The interesting thing about a medical professional's opinion - often it is a matter for them of simply "does it hurt?" and "is it bothering you?" - even with xrays, if a bone isn't clearly broken, so much of the body is about pain tolerance, working with our bodies, and our ability to enable the body to heal itself. So much of the physical therapy that is performed is simply enabling the body to heal for pain management. And yes, i have worked with actual physicians and physical therapists in my yoga therapy practice, this is an informed opinion that i have. Just because someone is a medical professional doesn't necessarily imply he's got the absolute answer - the human body is a complex system, and it just isn't as black or white as that. Pain you live with "forever" isn't always true - i have seen people with chronic injuries that they have had 10+ years - especially back injuries - find pain management and new movement via yoga therapy (i recommend it for both you and your mother, btw).

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And yes, it is taking a risk. But so is getting out of bed in the morning, getting in my car, or jogging along a busy street - there is really nothing we truly control in life. The body is a system, it ages, it changes, and we manage it. i can have carpal tunnel from all my typing! i can gain a back injury from sitting in my desk chair for years. The point is the decisions that we make, and working with the results, whatever they may be, as you very aptly point out. i choose more risk. This is simply what works for me.

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Also for those that immediately run to say that this is abusive behavior by a Dom, or a sign that he doesn't care, or that he places his kink higher than my welfare - please don't make things so black and white. There's informed decisions, and if i'm in pain, and unable to perform, then he makes his decisions accordingly. It isn't always just "suck it up" for his kink. There is love, and caring involved, even in this sort of dynamic. The primary difference is - who holds the control to make the decisions.

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And a bit more shoe advice: i don't necessarily recommend platforms, as walking on a 3" platform prevents you from "feeling" the ground, and also creates a higher risk of ankle injuries if you do fall. i've fallen worse in platforms than any other shoe - just my experience. i recommend start with shorter heels, with good support and cushioning, and an ankle strap - and work your way up.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

The interesting thing about a medical professional's opinion - often it is a matter for them of simply "does it hurt?" and "is it bothering you?" - even with xrays, if a bone isn't clearly broken, so much of the body is about pain tolerance, working with our bodies, and our ability to enable the body to heal itself. So much of the physical therapy that is performed is simply enabling the body to heal for pain management. And yes, i have worked with actual physicians and physical therapists in my yoga therapy practice, this is an informed opinion that i have. Just because someone is a medical professional doesn't necessarily imply he's got the absolute answer - the human body is a complex system, and it just isn't as black or white as that. Pain you live with "forever" isn't always true - i have seen people with chronic injuries that they have had 10+ years - especially back injuries - find pain management and new movement via yoga therapy (i recommend it for both you and your mother, btw).

So, with your "special training" you think it is advisable to just ignore pain so bad in one;s feet that they literally need to be carried because of the pain inflicted on them? You, with your special training are posting on a forum, with women who read you and think to themselves "well uniqueraven's master made her walk in heels until she could not any further... she even said that it was a part of her submission and it helped her 'grow'. I shouldn't complain, even though my feet hurt for a week from what is being done to them"

uniqueraven, I enjoy your posts, I love your outlook, please... seriously please do not feel I am picking on you, but your words have power here. Someone may read them, and your pushing yourself forward as an "expert" of sorts and think ruining their feet is an okay price for a Ds/Ms relationship. I do not find your "credentials" and your explanation of why it is okay for YOU to do an activity as what I would consider "good advice". No, they do not just take xrays, in my case they did a nerve study on my hands... which is what they would do if others sought medical help. What you are saying is that medical professionals should not be consulted, that they have no way to measure nerve damage... I know for a fact that this isn't true. Your yoga training may indeed help you, but how many submissives are yoga experts, for one. For another, how many submissives may think it is okay to ignore their body's warning signs? It is a very bad idea.

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Uniqueraven:

Thank you porcelaine, and i agree - i don't claim to be a licensed medical professional, and i encourage anyone with questions or concerns to always get an individual opinion from whichever professional they are most comfortable with for their own individual medical health and condition.

The thoughts and overall viewpoint i share are simply from my experiences, that's all, and aren't intended to be any sort of "medical opinion." i would ask that anyone considering any course of therapy to research it on his/her own and discuss with his/her physician first.

And you are right, if i could go back and edit my last post - which i can't now - i would change from my "opinion" to my "thoughts" - which is a more accurate descriptor.

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ORIGINAL: Bobanna


The problem I have with it, is that most steletto type heels over 3 inches tend to KILL my feet after wearing them for a while.  So much so that it is all I can think about is how much my feet hurt and then I lose focus upon everything else.  Does any other sub have problems with wearing these types of shoes? 

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

*snipped for brevity**

Those who are saying beauty is pain, do it for the guy, be a good sub and please him, suffer for him...sorry, I am not that submissive.

My first loyalty is to myself and my health and comfort. I would never be with anyone who cared more about their heel fetish than my comfort.

There are a myriad of activities I can do and will engage in that more than make up for not wearing heels all the time.

Believe me, it is a total annoyance because I have such stunning shoes, they are like works of art and I can still look at them and wear them inside.

Someone said that women wear shoes for other women and that is often true. You can look very sexy without high heels, I have an awesome boot collection and never had any complaints about that.

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ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven


Edited to add: DesFIP, i wonder if you remember all this - i remember you posted to those "other" boards with me way back then...sometimes i wonder what you recall reading of my struggles over the years, ha ha! (hugs!)

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

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ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven
Edited to add: DesFIP, i wonder if you remember all this - i remember you posted to those "other" boards with me way back then...sometimes i wonder what you recall reading of my struggles over the years, ha ha! (hugs!)

I don't remember you sharing the details as much back when you were with him. But I wonder how you can reconcile him claiming he wasn't interested in you being harmed and demanding you do things like this where the risk of breaking an ankle or a leg was so high.

But this is one of those things that makes me glad I'm not with someone who wants what he wants no matter what. Because I can't see how you falling down was anything but a bad risk waiting to happen. Not just something to be endured but something that could well have caused permanent damage. There's a level of uncaring there that stops me cold.

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ORIGINAL: marie2


Try getting heels with a platform. That takes a lot of the pitch out of the position of your foot, and makes them easier to walk in. I own a ton of high heels, and I'd say all but maybe 2 or 3 pairs of them don't have a platform. And instead of stilettos, you might want to try a thicker stalkier type of heel; it makes for easier balance.

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

OK...so how do you go about dealing with the foot pain? I'd love to be able to wear high heels more often.

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ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Thank you! [:)]

*passes out*

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ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Well it wasn't like that - but i've already given up for today. i'm going to have to chalk this one up to one of those that i simply will be unable to explain.

Hugs! [:)]

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

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ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Thank you! [:)]

*passes out*

/Takes advantage of UR while she is helpless/  [:)]

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I hope you'll rethink this. Because if you did indeed fall down numerous times, then how can that still be considered 'taking care of the property'?

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ORIGINAL: porcelaine

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I hope you'll rethink this. Because if you did indeed fall down numerous times, then how can that still be considered 'taking care of the property'?

I would hope anyone would be mindful of the risk and potential cost of injury. That includes loss of income, medical appointments (co-pays), physical therapy, and the long term impact of the problem. Is he compensating you? If you need help at home will he provide this or pay for a nurse to come in? Hopefully you have sick leave remaining. If not, will he cover the lost wages?

Individuals that engage in activities that have the possibility of going awry should educate themselves. Don't depend on the other person to know what he's doing or always present the information you need to make an informed decision. It's your body and your problem.

~porcelaine