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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 7:53:47 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds to me like the "Dominant" in question didnt like the fact that the submissive wasnt sucumbing to online orders from a virtual stranger.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 7:55:27 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		For me, the best relationship is one where i'm able to be uniquely myself - which is "me" as a slave, and includes the fact that at times i can be deeply submissive. At other times i can be funny, strong, outgoing, thoughtful, many other things. For me being submissive is an action, not a state of being.

But getting to know someone? Some of the men i've been most interested in are the ones i've fought the hardest. i think it's that need to "feel the boundaries", like when you bring a dog home for the first time and they need to learn where the fence is in the backyard. And then men who work through that resistance of mine with patience and deliberate intent are the ones i bond with the most.

So just be yourself - and if that means you're not a "fit" for a man on Yahoo, so be it.



And OP - ditto to what Lockit said. i love your posts, i empathize with you and hope you slow down at some point.

< Message edited by UniqueRaven -- 8/3/2010 7:57:17 AM >

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(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 8:00:01 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
I don't care what he thinks, but I'm just curious as to whether or not this is usual.

Usual for some, unusual for others. I don't think this guy is being very realistic with his expectations that you failed to live up to. Then again, if this guy knows precisely what he wants more power to him. He didn't have to go there with comments about you not being "real" that was just outta line and uncalled for.

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 8:02:38 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I wish everyone would remember that when a man says you are not "real" it simply means you are either not what he is looking for, you are not acting as he expects or desires or you have rejected him.

Oh, and the same goes for subs who say Doms are not "real".

It really simplifies things to know why that word "real" is being thrown about.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 8/3/2010 8:03:19 AM >

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 8:15:30 AM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		I expect my partner to know that she IS submissive 24/7.

This means that no matter what is going on... If I expect something of her, she knows it is her responsibility to Obey.

This has nothing to do with how she talks or how she ACTS. because if her submission was an ACT I would relieve her of it as soon as I caught on.

QSM

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 9:11:51 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I wish everyone would remember that when a man says you are not "real" it simply means you are either not what he is looking for, you are not acting as he expects or desires or you have rejected him.


This. I kind of think of it as a gift when someone tells me I'm not real, because then I can write them off quickly. And as for "acting submissive" all the time, yeah right

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 9:21:45 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

I was just talking to someone on Yahoo, who told me a frank goodbye because he believed I wasn't acting submissive enough to be 'real'. I never thought that acting like a normal person meant I was a fakey McFake-Fake :/



Maybe you stumbled upon Miss Cleo's long lost sibling. The idea that anyone can ascertain someone's submissiveness through pixels is stupefyingly funny. But it makes a lot of little people feel good to suggest it. And some 'practitioners' are looking for fictional recreations and dismiss anything outside of that.

~porcelaine


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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 10:11:51 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Ello Glasgow,

The short answer for me is - Hell, fucking no! I would be extremely bored if a sub acted in a submissive way 24/7.

But, I imagine there are some D-types for whom 24/7 submissiveness is essential (and some S-types who would love to be in that kind of relationship).


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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 10:18:53 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
I was just talking to someone on Yahoo, who told me a frank goodbye because he believed I wasn't acting submissive enough to be 'real'. I never thought that acting like a normal person meant I was a fakey McFake-Fake :/
I don't expect someone to "act" anything. I expect the people in my life to be their authentic selves and then I decide whether I like that or not. Insofar as Carol responds to the whole world submissively so yes, I expect her to react in submissive ways to most things.

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 10:47:57 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I wish everyone would remember that when a man says you are not "real" it simply means you are either not what he is looking for, you are not acting as he expects or desires or you have rejected him.



Or he could simply be an adult and thank you for your time and wish you well in your pursuits. It's a put down. Nothing more or less. And I couldn't care why he does it, other options exist.

~porcelaine


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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 12:00:33 PM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I was just talking to someone on Yahoo, who told me a frank goodbye because he believed I wasn't acting submissive enough to be 'real'. I never thought that acting like a normal person meant I was a fakey McFake-Fake :/
If one submits to me she submits 24/7. Of course, this also means she submits 0/0 to others.

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 12:07:26 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		In this context, I expect a person to be true to themself -- not to act, role play, and merely pretend.

It is quite another thing if we happen to not resonate.

(in reply to Glasgow)
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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 12:12:37 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Being submissive all the time is alot of work for the dominant.


Got better things to do...

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 12:29:58 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I wish everyone would remember that when a man says you are not "real" it simply means you are either not what he is looking for, you are not acting as he expects or desires or you have rejected him.



Or he could simply be an adult and thank you for your time and wish you well in your pursuits. It's a put down. Nothing more or less. And I couldn't care why he does it, other options exist.

~porcelaine



I agree wholeheartedly, but find it is too much to expect adult behavior from most.

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 1:28:19 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I agree wholeheartedly, but find it is too much to expect adult behavior from most.


While this is true one can't condone the tomfoolery. People that behave like that are simply not up to par with those that want to relate with an adult.

~porcelaine


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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 2:12:21 PM   
Chrisincuffs


Posts: 602
Joined: 12/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

If one submits to me she submits 24/7. Of course, this also means she submits 0/0 to others.


I agree with texangael on that. Also, if i submit to someone it is someone that I know and trust and if they aren't going to take the time to earn that from me than they can fuck off. Bottom line if they aren't being to be what I want in a D, then why would I want to be ANYTHING they want in a sub?

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 2:35:54 PM   
Undying90


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/3/2010
From: Abilene, TX
Status: offline 		So i just had one of these 'always sub' experiences with someone from the site.
they messaged me and we started talking about BDSM, she requested a pic of me and i felt that i needed to see one of her as proof she is who she claims(no profile pic).

Well apparently, according to her im a sub and do not have the right to say what i need.
This i completely  disagree with. until i am owned i don't think i HAVE to act any certain way. and even once i am owned i do not act in sub character all the time, ive held long friendly conversations with my Mistresses in the past.

(in reply to Chrisincuffs)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 2:39:12 PM   
Chrisincuffs


Posts: 602
Joined: 12/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

So i just had one of these 'always sub' experiences with someone from the site.
they messaged me and we started talking about BDSM, she requested a pic of me and i felt that i needed to see one of her as proof she is who she claims(no profile pic).

Well apparently, according to her im a sub and do not have the right to say what i need.
This i completely disagree with. until i am owned i don't think i HAVE to act any certain way. and even once i am owned i do not act in sub character all the time, ive held long friendly conversations with my Mistresses in the past.


That's too bad, I'd ignore anybody like that I guess.

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No kind of sensation is keener and more active than pain it's impressions are unmistakable. -Marquis DeSade

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 2:39:53 PM   
Undying90


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/3/2010
From: Abilene, TX
Status: offline 		the way i see it, if i have to prove i am who i am, its only safe and smart that they do the same.
i have been doing BDSM long enough to know that much.

(in reply to Chrisincuffs)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 2:56:33 PM   
interlocutor


Posts: 68
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline 		I see submissive and dominant as orientations. Not quite sexual orientation but very similar to gay or straight. So a simple test that can gauge the 'validity' of a statement or the thought behind it is a simple word substitution. Substitute 'gay' for 'submissive.'

"he believed I wasn't acting gay enough to be 'real'."

Can one act "gay" enough to be gay? This illustrates the absurdity of judging some ones orientation based on what they type in a chat box.

(in reply to Undying90)
Profile   Post #: 40
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