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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 2:58:02 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I am always submissive but I don't always *act* submissive. Sometimes I become quite dominant and demanding in submission to someone else. For instance, I've been told that I am quite the dominant in a kitchen and that people need to watch out for me there. Well, if I'm obeying someone by getting a meal out for 100 people by a set time, then I'm going to by-God get it done and no one is going to stand in my way. If that means I'm demanding particular actions of people who are in the kitchen to help me accomplish my goal, then I'm going to be quite demanding so I can complete my service to the dominant I am submitting to even if it means bossing around a dom-type person who is there to help.  

OTOH, if I'm just chatting with someone on-line, they aren't my dominant so I'm not going to go out of my way to play sub-dom games with them. If I've given them my submission, that's a whole 'nother ball game!

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"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to Undying90)
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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 3:10:34 PM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

if i have to prove i am who i am
If you have to wonder about that, you have much to learn.

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Corny movie cliche that just happens to be true.

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 3:15:47 PM   
Undying90


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/3/2010
From: Abilene, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael

quote:

if i have to prove i am who i am
If you have to wonder about that, you have much to learn.


i have proof i am exactly who i appear to be... but when the other person refuses to give any evidence and just seems to want pics and things i find that suspicious.

(in reply to texangael)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 3:36:50 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Undying90

i have proof i am exactly who i appear to be... but when the other person refuses to give any evidence and just seems to want pics and things i find that suspicious.



Showing images of yourself don't prove ones identity. It just means you have a snapshot to exchange. Unless the person is in your vicinity and capable of meeting face to face you're dealing with the possibility of them being who they purport but not a foregone guarantee.

Pictures depicting supposed BDSM activities doesn't make them a player. You can hire a model or have a friend stand in for next to nothing. Some people share staged images as a sort of calling card that validates their experience on either side of the paddle. All it proves is they have a camera and another body. Suffice to say if you haven't witnessed it with your own eyes or have a really good idea of their character anything is possible. Don't believe the hype.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Undying90)
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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/3/2010 4:11:42 PM   
Bobanna


Posts: 95
Joined: 5/1/2009
Status: offline 		THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS HE LEFT YOUR CHAT !!  --------->  good riddance to bad rubbish !

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Let them eat cake ~ !

A dream for some ... A nightmare for others

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/4/2010 4:33:42 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

I was just talking to someone on Yahoo, who told me a frank goodbye because he believed I wasn't acting submissive enough to be 'real'. I never thought that acting like a normal person meant I was a fakey McFake-Fake :/



As long as you are not sessioning and just talking, why on earth should you act all submissive? I would think a general respectful behaviour from both sides it's always appreciated. Unless of course you met on Yahoo just to do some online play and you were supposed to be already in "character".

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/4/2010 12:03:50 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		~FR~

For me, it depends on what you mean by "act submissive 24/7"... you see, I prefer those who yield to me to have that sense of yielding as part of their nature -- therefore, I don't do the "fall on your knees and worship me" scenario. Everyone makes choices. I look for those people whose choices, in general, show that they will choose to yield, rather than choose to hold the reins overall. This doesn't mean that they don't take -responsibility-... merely that they don't claim -authority-... I -expect- that they will take responsibility for themselves, for their choices, and for anything that I have delegated to them to take care of -on my behalf-. Because I choose people for those roles for whom yielding is an expression-of-self, rather than a -role- that they play, I don't tend to worry about whether or not the person is going to "be submissive" -- if one of those who yields to me comes to me and says "Hey, this thing isn't going to work this way, and I think we ought to try it another way instead", I'm not going to go all ballistic and call "faker" -- because I know that that person is yielding up to me the benefit of hir knowledge or wisdom about the situation, and is -assisting- me by making me aware of a potential issue BEFORE it blows up in my face.This, too, is service.

I would say worry a lot less about whether someone else thinks you're 'submissive enough', and spend more time worrying about being who you are and enjoying the company of people who appreciate who you are, who understand what motivates you, and who accept you on those terms. If you're bossy and bratty, you need to -be- with someone who is looking for a submissive individual with those overtones to hir nature. If you're apt to completely yield yourself and everything about you, make sure you've got a person who is willing and able to take on that kind of responsibility -- what you are is exactly what you are supposed to be -- so rather than trying to make someone who doesn't understand you appreciate what you are, spend your time seeking out and enjoying time with those who 'get you'... problem solved.

Calla


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/4/2010 12:14:01 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		*FR* reminds me of the debate between sexually submissive and being submissive in personality.

Am I submissive in my personality? Not in the least.
Sexually? Yesssss but I don't invite strangers into my sexual life so all those 'twue' dom's out there don't get to see it, sorry.

Some wankers will just want you to 'act submissive' in a chat or emails so they have some material to fantasize on. Don't feed them, they only grow into even bigger pains.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/4/2010 12:30:13 PM   
KariCloud


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		Someone telling me "you aren't submissive enough" gets translated in my brain to "you aren't compatible with me and I'm too chickenshit to tell you that without trying to insult you."

This my brain does on it's own. It is usually an accurate translation, too! Sometimes though, this can cause small problems. I think it can take me a few years to submit fully to a new partner, when everything goes exactly right. So sometimes that translation gets directed to someone who in fact does have the right to judge my degree of submissiveness. Then again, there's nicer, less insulting ways to say the same thing and I do insist on my dominants being respectful and polite to me 24/7. :)

I am submissive 24/7, just as I am gay 24/7 and light-skinned 24/7 and female-bodied 24/7 and poly 24/7 and pagan 24/7. But I'm not chanting to my goddess, or kissing girls, or in love with more than one person, or whatever else, all the time. Whether I'm actively engaging one particular side of me or not, it is still a part of who I am. For me, being submissive is as much a part of my personality as my sexual orientation, physical gender, race, religion, etc. I always am who I am, no matter what anyone else thinks of that. Thinking that I'm not submissive enough is absurd.

There are some, that I know personally, who are submissive only sometimes. For them, they've described it as more of an interest rather than an integral part of their personality. The ones I know describe themselves as "bedroom" subs, or "play" subs, they are only submissive in specific limited situations. They choose when to engage in submissive play and when not to. It isn't so much something they just are, rather it's something that they do.

Nothing wrong with either way, or even being something in between. It just requires finding someone who's compatible to the type of submission you want to give. Someone respectful and adult should be able to say "we're not compatible" rather than "there's something wrong with you".

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/4/2010 1:02:52 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

I was just talking to someone on Yahoo, who told me a frank goodbye because he believed I wasn't acting submissive enough to be 'real'. I never thought that acting like a normal person meant I was a fakey McFake-Fake :/



I demand that the woman I'm involved with conforms to what I think she should be "24/7". That doesn't necessarily mean well behaved...as then she'd deprive me of the chance to strip her to the bone.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Glasgow)
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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/4/2010 8:18:08 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent



I demand that the woman I'm involved with conforms to what I think she should be "24/7". That doesn't necessarily mean well behaved...as then she'd deprive me of the chance to strip her to the bone.


Are you gonna need a filet knife for that?

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/5/2010 4:14:58 AM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		Why are you bothering about this? Is life just too easy for you?

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/5/2010 8:18:09 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		My former Master, and my Dominant who I was previously in a relationship both didn't want me to submit to anyone except them.  I'm frequently compliant and enjoy helping people, but I don't consider that to be submission, unless it is accompanied by feeling/reacting submissively toward that specific person.  My personality is in general neither dominant nor submissive.  I'm happy to take charge if there's something that needs to get done, and happy to follow along and go with the flow when that is appropriate.  If someone randomly tries to order me around, when they have no authority over me, I generally dig in my heels and put a mule to shame with my stubbornness. 

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/5/2010 8:25:58 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Laughs
Hell, I expect her to be my slave in her dreams, not just waking hours.
And ya know what?
I've never asked, but I bet she is...


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/5/2010 10:18:25 AM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
Do you expect subs to act be submissive 24/7?


Submissives? No. Slaves? Yes.

But we are human. We have our moments. What is expected won't always be fulfilled perfectly; that's reality. Occasional misbehavior isn't a reason to hit the big red nuke button; it can be corrected through punishment and/or communication. Consistent subversion is another story, however.

I decided to just answer the post's title question as a concept, as addressing internet drama feels akin to arguing over imaginary friends.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/6/2010 5:06:22 PM   
MistressLonita


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/30/2010
Status: offline
Online is the problem.   There maybe some out there who live life in this way 24/7; however, I would question that as being extreem and boring after a while.  I want my sub to have a life of their own and have fun as well.   Tell him to take a hike.
 
MistressLonita

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/9/2010 5:23:57 PM   
MistressLonita


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/30/2010
Status: offline 		[/si.ze] I don't won't a robot. I want someone who adds to my mundaine life. Besides, no person is perfect 24/7.


MistressLonita

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/10/2010 5:17:01 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: reynardfox

Why are you bothering about this? Is life just too easy for you?
life is never easy for a drama queen...

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RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/10/2010 6:34:59 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		I am submissive to the very core of my being, but that doesn't mean I submit to everyone.  I only submit to one.  I'm helpful to others, I cook for others, I do things I enjoy so that people can share my joy in what I'm doing.  But there's still only one who will garner all my attention when we're together or with others, and that's my Dom.  I won't be ignorant or ignore others, but I am fully aware of his needs and wants. 

24/7 is all fine and dandy, I'm not playing a role or acting, I'm just me.  But there's that pesky outside life that still comes into play, and that has to be taken into consideration.  I don't need to be micro-managed, I managed to live thru 47 yrs of life without yet killing myself or dropping off the face of the earth.  For now, I'm accepted for who I am, the complex and layer by layer person i call *me*.

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, sometimes it's hard for me to explain, but I've done my best, and that's all I can ask for.  Although I'm not perfect I strive for perfection.

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Do you expect subs to act submissive 24/7? - 8/11/2010 3:03:36 PM   
twistedbeing


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/10/2010
From: Buffalo, New York
Status: offline 		Expecting that from a sub is a tall order. It all depends on the person in question and one needs to realize that too much of a good thing can take all of the fun away. We need normalcy in order for the extraordinary to exist.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 60
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