RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (Full Version)

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VaguelyCurious -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 11:26:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer

I never made this a referendum about men's experience vs women's experience.
Well, you did when you said that I'd only had a good experience here because of my gender, but ok, we can leave it....

quote:

This is a post about making CM a more useful tool by allowing it to automatically sift pro-doms from the search results.
Ok: self-assigned tags are impractical, and I find your suggestion of user-assigned tags unethical, but I noticed you didn't address that. On topic enough?

quote:

If you've got problems with YOUR experience, make a post proposing solutions to the problems. Don't sit here and shoot down the solutions suggested by others.
I *don't* have a problem with the site-that's my point. It takes all of three seconds to skim and delete a mail. It takes all of three seconds to skim and hide a profile. You are moaning about a non-problem.

quote:

Furthermore, I won't NOT stand up for what I believe in just so girls will like me. Anyone who does needs to reevaluate what's important to them.
Painting some bickering about the administration of a kink site as 'standing up for what you believe in' is probably a bit strong. Either that was hyperbole, or I suspect you might be taking this thread rather more seriously than anybody else posting....



poise -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 11:26:32 AM)

[image]http://i685.photobucket.com/albums/vv215/ice_0/wthread.gif[/image]



BoiJen -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 11:31:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
Hey hey hey, don't speak for me please, honey-I have plenty of luck! Females into females have a head-start IMO, because any female on this site gets bombarded by inappropriate mail from men, so we look better in comparison, frequency be damned [:D]

(And I'm pretty sure you get lucky on a regular basis. Just sayin [8D])

VC (who cannot resist making inappropriate comments about MsKitty and Jen because they are both hot.)



Hey, I'm with ya, frequency be damned! But let's look at it this way for a sec..(shhh...just indulge me) if the commonly referenced statistic is that within any given population only 10% is bi or homosexual, that means there's 90% of the folks here who are straight.

So 9 out of 10 females on here are supposedly straight. Motherfucker, that some fuckin odds, let's not add in the need for finding a chick who understands "boi", is a Sadistic, Domme switch and close enough to me for it to matter.... Motherfucker! It's gotten damned hard. So what can I do to strengthen my chances?

I can take an insane amount of time to filter through some profiles on any given internet site or I can get off my lazy ass and show up at a munch, get cozy with some folks there, and get invited to a party. At the party of munch, I'm likely to find more opportunities of more stuff happening with more people. Holy shit! I've really expanded my base search area and narrowed part of my criteria if only by location. Motherfucker...who knew?

Anyways, for the sexy comment, you get one free clip lol

boi

Who's NEVER had a problem finding hot women who want to spend a sexy time with me cuz I'm awesome. 



dbloomer -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 11:37:59 AM)


quote:


What you're not understanding is that the community as a whole isn't interested in presenting the case.


quote:


The group decision here would be to not change the current search process, if this sample is accurate. So, yes, it is on the OP to make the case to the proper people to complain to.

boi


If you actually polled the people who would USE this feature or whom would be affected by it (the people who actually MATTER when considering this idea) you may find the consensus to be very different.

The OP is using an activist approach which has resulted in bringing MANY unpopular but ultimately GREAT ideas in to fruition throughout history. If the feature he's proposing is not useful to you, fine. Don't sit here and suppose you know what's best for the community simply because the feature isn't useful to you.




LadyPact -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 11:40:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer


quote:


So contact CM and offer your services as a profile moderator. See how that goes, going to management about helping out. But coming onto the forums and complaining about the situation doesn't get their attention in any real way.


The community is able to present a much more compelling case than 1 individual guy sending an e-mail in. The site admins probably receive a THOUSAND messages from individuals claiming they know what's right. I doubt they often see a thread that weighs the issues critically and fairly, amongst many members of the community.

Don't underestimate the significance of group decisions.

Here's the deal.

The so-called "community" here doesn't have an issue with the set up now based on the majority.  Women, on both sides of the kneel couldn't care less about pros.  I would have to say the same for the majority of Dom males.  Some sub males even come here for the mixture of lifestyle and pro, so even the category of sub males isn't entirely on board with whether this is an issue or not.

Now, if you want to talk about site traffic, let's be honest here.  Chasing the Dominant women off of the site is the worst thing they could do.  This isn't an even playing field when it comes to number of males vrs number of females.  If the new flagging system is thought that it would make the number of females less, you might as well hang it up.  If the women leave the site, the men will follow.  It's not the other way around.  Even in one of your earlier comments, you mentioned just how many folks might be joining each day.  The submissive males who don't like the system and leave would soon be refilled with turnover.  However, it's not as quick for the female number to be replenished because that number is already lower to begin with.

In short, I don't think CM is going to risk losing it's female members for the small number of submissive males who would prefer a different system.  It's the women that keep attracting people to this site.  Not the other way around.  Good business sense says keep the women happy, which most of them are under the current method.



SorceressJ -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 11:44:58 AM)

[sm=argue.gif][sm=banghead.gif][sm=confused.gif] [sm=dancing.gif][sm=hair.gif]

[sm=jerry.gif][sm=popcorn.gif] <--- me, enjoying the show. [:D]



KurtAllen -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 11:47:44 AM)

porcelaine:
If you can't use the Internet without grabbing your wallet for a little virtual slap and tickle that's no one's fault but the undersigned.
~porcelaine
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dbloomer:
I'll be patiently awaiting the day you have an actual contribution to this discussion. A smart girl like you should know by now that
trying to pick on me is not an effective strategy and it simply demonstrates how childish you can be.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Actually, I found her comment revealing, but think about the words she used, wallet, virtule, slap and tickle. Is that the path you trod upon or the one she trodds upon? If not, how did she get that opinion of you or was she just sharing without sharing? Is it possible some people just type to see their words in print? What if either of you actually had something beneficail to others to share, would a topic like this even surface?



dbloomer -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 11:51:19 AM)

quote:


I never made this a referendum about men's experience vs women's experience.

quote:


Well, you did when you said that I'd only had a good experience here because of my gender, but ok, we can leave it....



No, I said that you likely do not have to deal with the problem of EVERYONE trying to con you out of money because your experience here is different than that of a male here. The focus wasn't meant to be on "men's experience vs women's experience", but on the usefulness of the feature the OP is discussing.

quote:

This is a post about making CM a more useful tool by allowing it to automatically sift pro-doms from the search results.
Ok: self-assigned tags are impractical, and I find your suggestion of user-assigned tags unethical, but I noticed you didn't address that. On topic enough?

quote:

I *don't* have a problem with the site-that's my point. It takes all of three seconds to skim and delete a mail. It takes all of three seconds to skim and hide a profile. You are moaning about a non-problem.


I don't care about things you don't have a problem with, why would I? I don't have a problem with MANY things on this website. I don't expect you to care about the things I do not have a problem with.

I care about things people DO have a problem with, like the OP. You are essentially saying to me here that because you don't find the task of sorting tedius, neither should anyone else?

quote:

Furthermore, I won't NOT stand up for what I believe in just so girls will like me. Anyone who does needs to reevaluate what's important to them.


quote:


Painting some bickering about the administration of a kink site as 'standing up for what you believe in' is probably a bit strong. Either that was hyperbole, or I suspect you might be taking this thread rather more seriously than anybody else posting....



What's a bit strong is snooping through this thread and suggesting to me I should be nice or women won't like me, as though any of that is relevant to the topic at hand.




udaboss -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:03:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer


quote:


So contact CM and offer your services as a profile moderator. See how that goes, going to management about helping out. But coming onto the forums and complaining about the situation doesn't get their attention in any real way.


The community is able to present a much more compelling case than 1 individual guy sending an e-mail in. The site admins probably receive a THOUSAND messages from individuals claiming they know what's right. I doubt they often see a thread that weighs the issues critically and fairly, amongst many members of the community.

Don't underestimate the significance of group decisions.

Here's the deal.

The so-called "community" here doesn't have an issue with the set up now based on the majority.  Women, on both sides of the kneel couldn't care less about pros.  I would have to say the same for the majority of Dom males.  Some sub males even come here for the mixture of lifestyle and pro, so even the category of sub males isn't entirely on board with whether this is an issue or not.

Now, if you want to talk about site traffic, let's be honest here.  Chasing the Dominant women off of the site is the worst thing they could do.  This isn't an even playing field when it comes to number of males vrs number of females.  If the new flagging system is thought that it would make the number of females less, you might as well hang it up.  If the women leave the site, the men will follow.  It's not the other way around.  Even in one of your earlier comments, you mentioned just how many folks might be joining each day.  The submissive males who don't like the system and leave would soon be refilled with turnover.  However, it's not as quick for the female number to be replenished because that number is already lower to begin with.

In short, I don't think CM is going to risk losing it's female members for the small number of submissive males who would prefer a different system.  It's the women that keep attracting people to this site.  Not the other way around.  Good business sense says keep the women happy, which most of them are under the current method.



First of all, it's not a "small number" of submissive males. At least half the males on this site are subs. And I can assure you, LOTS of them would like the feature I suggested.

Second, why would this chase women away? I'm not saying business dommes shouldn't be allowed to use the site, just that there should be a different category for them. And I'm also not saying they couldn't have a second profile under the lifestyle if they are truly lifestylers.

The fact that we can filter people out on the basis of age, weight, race, country, height and other variables but NOT on the basis whether they're here for money or not seems very backward.

And just who would leave the site because of this? The lifestyle dommes? They really LIKE being lumped in with pro dommes, scam dommes, financial dommes, etc?

And the ones doing it to make money wouldn't leave either. Money is money. If it can be derived from a submissive male on CM, you think they're not going to have a profile here?



thishereboi -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:05:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Or, you could take a small amount of your time and determine whether or not the woman is a pro or not.

If she is, you could then move on.


MistressJeff



But I wanna get laid NOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!



dbloomer -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:06:45 PM)


The simple fact is there are many men who are here NOT looking for pro dommes, and for whom this simple feature would be valuable to.

It should not be surprising to anyone that the majority of the opposition is NOT from the people for whom this feature would be useful.

Generally people don't have much interest in making things better unless it helps them.

quote:



In short, I don't think CM is going to risk losing it's female members for the small number of submissive males who would prefer a different system. It's the women that keep attracting people to this site. Not the other way around. Good business sense says keep the women happy, which most of them are under the current method.


The argument that "it'll scare away dommes" is an insightful one. If the market really WAS there for pro-dommes, then this feature would be a blessing to them. It would help men meet the pro-dommes they were seeking more quickly.

The above quote is right in that, in this case, improving the search methods to allow people to find matches faster WILL result in people departing from the service once they see the search spit out a dreadfully low amount of results.

quote:


In short, I don't think CM is going to risk losing it's female members for the small number of submissive males who would prefer a different system.


Trying to cast aside men who want to find a partner and not PAY for it as "a small number of submissive men" is just... Unreal to me. Frankly, as a domme I would have expected you to hold the interest of submissive men in a little higher regard.






dbloomer -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:11:35 PM)


quote:


The fact that we can filter people out on the basis of age, weight, race, country, height and other variables but NOT on the basis whether they're here for money or not seems very backward.


It is ABSURDLY backward. The people in such strong opposition don't care about you or your experience here. They've only asked themselves 1 single question:

What's in it for me? The answer: Nothing.

... Sometimes we have to admit the possibility that it's okay to take delight in seeing someone else get what they need, even if there's nothing in it for you.



BoiJen -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:12:09 PM)

It doesn't matter if we find a new feature useful or not...you're not looking to prove how useful it is or isn't. Hell, you're not even looking to prove how much it would be used. You're not even looking for support from a segment of the "community" here. To be effective, you need support from the WHOLE "community" here, male s-types, female s-types, male d-types, females, d-types, switches, etc. To enact a change worthy of such note that CM management would bother with it, you'd need everyone from every thread in this section knocking down the door to CM support. Most of us don't care that much. 



BoiJen -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:15:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer

Trying to cast aside men who want to find a partner and not PAY for it as "a small number of submissive men" is just... Unreal to me. Frankly, as a domme I would have expected you to hold the interest of submissive men in a little higher regard.


Here's another thing you don't understand. Dommes may not give a fuck what some whining male wants on a website...if you want to dismiss that as not caring what "any" submissive male thinks, go ahead. But what I'll promise you is that no matter how cold a Domme might be to your cries of "unfairness" on an internet forum, she cares more about the feelings of HER s-type than that of some random stranger complaining.

boi



dbloomer -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:16:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

It doesn't matter if we find a new feature useful or not...you're not looking to prove how useful it is or isn't. Hell, you're not even looking to prove how much it would be used. You're not even looking for support from a segment of the "community" here. To be effective, you need support from the WHOLE "community" here, male s-types, female s-types, male d-types, females, d-types, switches, etc. To enact a change worthy of such note that CM management would bother with it, you'd need everyone from every thread in this section knocking down the door to CM support. Most of us don't care that much. 


Yes, my presence here has many other affects that have deviated from the original goal of the post. Namely, not sitting by and twiddling my thumbs while people accost this poor guy because he doesn't want to sort through a list of sex-workers.

I *WAS* looking to prove how useful the original concept was. Obviously that objective has changed from within the context of this thread when a chorus of people who are not submissive men looking for non-pro-domme women popped up to demoralize the guy and take pot-shots at a brilliant idea.




MissAsylum -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:19:15 PM)

out of curiosity, i'm a lifestyle and a prodomme...what of the flagging system then?



dbloomer -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:20:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen


Here's another thing you don't understand. Dommes may not give a fuck what some whining male wants on a website...if you want to dismiss that as not caring what "any" submissive male thinks, go ahead. But what I'll promise you is that no matter how cold a Domme might be to your cries of "unfairness" on an internet forum, she cares more about the feelings of HER s-type than that of some random stranger complaining.

boi



The goal of this post isn't to figure out what Dommes want and cater to their whims, it's to discuss implementing a way for men not to have to scan through sex-workers every time they click "search". I don't know what the above quotation has to do with anything. I have no doubt it made you feel good to say it, but I don't see the relevance.



LadyPact -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:23:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: udaboss
First of all, it's not a "small number" of submissive males. At least half the males on this site are subs. And I can assure you, LOTS of them would like the feature I suggested.

Second, why would this chase women away? I'm not saying business dommes shouldn't be allowed to use the site, just that there should be a different category for them. And I'm also not saying they couldn't have a second profile under the lifestyle if they are truly lifestylers.

The fact that we can filter people out on the basis of age, weight, race, country, height and other variables but NOT on the basis whether they're here for money or not seems very backward.

And just who would leave the site because of this? The lifestyle dommes? They really LIKE being lumped in with pro dommes, scam dommes, financial dommes, etc?

And the ones doing it to make money wouldn't leave either. Money is money. If it can be derived from a submissive male on CM, you think they're not going to have a profile here?

I don't agree with your estimate of the breakdown of males.  If the site is reflective of the scene at all, it's not a 50/50 deal with half of the males being Dom and half the males being subs.  The breakdown is probably more along the lines of 70/30, with male Doms in the majority.  It's a gray area because there are those who identify as switch.  Males of either category who are gay fall outside the interest of the subject.  (I've yet to meet a gay male Dom who was negatively impacted by pros.)

Of that 30% of males only who use the site (remember, we're not considering the female users right now) you have to remember that many of them are not especially looking.  Others are married, interested in cam only, etc, so even that number gets reduced.  If a male sub is already involved, why would they care if pros are flagged or not.  This means that you have an addition of folks who just honestly don't care.

Now, take someone who is similar to Myself.  I'm not a pro, but if the site would be more difficult for Me to use, I'm less likely to be here.  (This is exactly why I don't use Fet more often, unless I'm promoting a local event.) 

Some of My friends happen to be pros.  It doesn't hinge My opinion one way or another if they aren't flagged, but the potential abuse of such a system does.  If they wouldn't be welcome here, I'd most likely feel the atmosphere was not an accepting one.  Not to mention, many of us lifestyle types are glad the pros are here.  It means less crap in the personal mailbox.

Look at the thread in it's entirety.  Not one female has said that they would welcome the potential of the site being harder to use, willing to sacrifice being the target of blacklisting, or be patient while the "bugs" are worked out.  We're happy just the way it is as far as the categories go.  There are absolutely more folks who are satisfied with the set up than those who aren't.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:24:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer

I care about things people DO have a problem with, like the OP. You are essentially saying to me here that because you don't find the task of sorting tedius, neither should anyone else?

Yes, that's what I'm saying-I don't consider the problem you and the OP are complaining about to be legitimate-or at least not legitimate enough to justify a tagging system that will designate profiles as money-seeking without their consent, which is what you seem to be proposing.

quote:

What's a bit strong is snooping through this thread and suggesting to me I should be nice or women won't like me, as though any of that is relevant to the topic at hand.

Snooping? What?! I read your posts as you made them and I posted right back-it's not like I was hiding somewhere behind a lamp-post making secret observations and then suddenly jumping out at you...

I wasn't suggesting you should be 'nice' (my English teachers used to ban us from using 'nice', as the word is a dilution of a beautiful language). I was suggesting that pointless whining isn't terribly attractive. But you aren't looking here, so that's fine.

It was an aside to do with your attitude-I wasn't suggesting it had anything to do with the topic at hand. Sometimes conversations meander.



BoiJen -> RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money? (8/3/2010 12:26:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer

The goal of this post isn't to figure out what Dommes want and cater to their whims, it's to discuss implementing a way for men not to have to scan through sex-workers every time they click "search". I don't know what the above quotation has to do with anything. I have no doubt it made you feel good to say it, but I don't see the relevance.


Dude! I was responding to this quote of your's:

quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer

Trying to cast aside men who want to find a partner and not PAY for it as "a small number of submissive men" is just... Unreal to me. Frankly, as a domme I would have expected you to hold the interest of submissive men in a little higher regard.


Don't be an ass with making comments that are off topic and then trying to make me or anyone else look dumb by responding to you. It only makes you look more like an ass.

boi



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