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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 9:58:40 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		The only way a question like this can be answered is to the know the depth of the connection, all the facts and the willingness on both parties to be proactive.

Some people can handle issues, so people cannot and some choose not to.

I know someone who has bi polar and if they do not adhere to their therapy, nothing works no matter how proactive and supportive the other is.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 10:02:32 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Even if he did know, we don't know what behavior is causing the conflict. It is one thing to say you would stand by the side of someone with mental illness. It's another to do that and deal with the consequences. While, yes, it is ideal to help people in bad situations, there can be circumstances where the other person's behavior and actions are so detrimental, it is not possible to do that. I've been in that situation with someone that's bipolar. It can be a horrible disease that causes extreme changes in the person when it is not controlled.


I think it's easy to point the finger at the dominant and say he's a bad guy if he chooses to release the submissive. However, everyone has a threshold and we don't know his lifestyle nor the mitigating factors surrounding her illness. Our levels of tolerance are very different and I would never have anyone trashing my home or accept deception either. Even if she disclosed the illness upfront, that doesn't suggest that he's equipped to handle the impact of the behavioral changes or the possibility of their continued occurrence. It's a lot to take on.

~porcelaine




_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 10:04:11 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

A relationship can't be a substitute for therapy, but often taking away the relationship can be like pulling the ground out from underneath their feet. Give them time to stabilize and then let them decide would be the ideal option, though not always practical...

I'm not arguing this point (well, maybe I am) but at the same time, it has to be remembered that there are two people (or more) in the relationship.  While the person starting therapy does have a more stable personal life due to the relationship remaining in tact, it also has to be considered how this effects the other person.  If remaining in the dynamic is detrimental to the Master in this scenario, he really has to look at if his quality of life is being impacted negatively or positively.  From what you're saying in this thread, you obviously have experience in a similar area.  There is a point where someone has to say enough is enough to keep themselves from sinking.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 10:55:00 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm all for preserving your own sanity, but once there is a commitment that commitment can't just fade away because it might be uncomfy for a while, at least not for me. I wouldn't jeopardize my own mental health but I would also consider it a bit shallow to walk away when the going gets a bit tough, where the difference is between the two has to be the decision of the individual, they have to live with themselves and they are the only ones who can make that decision, it's just for me that when I bond, the bond isn't easily broken and something very very significant has to happen. The "it's a bit uncomfy now because I don't get my kinks and the person needs TLC" wouldn't cut it for me, that's something that I would consider shallow, but the "I can't handle it anymore because otherwise my life would go to pieces" is a valid reason to back out.

_____________________________

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Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 11:05:36 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think we're on exactly the same page, LadyC.  

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 11:09:09 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I think we're on exactly the same page, LadyC.  
And I think I'd sign up with this line of reasoning also. There is a balancing point for "when to throw in the towel" that is unique to every situation. It's easy for us armchair internet relationship quarterbacks to toss about statements like, "I would" or "I would not".... but for anyone who's actually BEEN in this situation... well... Non-trivial mental health issues can put a huge freakin load on the partner and relationship.

For me, I give up on my partner just before I go under myself.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 11:28:52 AM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

And I think I'd sign up with this line of reasoning also. There is a balancing point for "when to throw in the towel" that is unique to every situation. It's easy for us armchair internet relationship quarterbacks to toss about statements like, "I would" or "I would not".... but for anyone who's actually BEEN in this situation... well... Non-trivial mental health issues can put a huge freakin load on the partner and relationship.

It should also be mentioned that mental health issues are frequently lifetime issues--whether the issue is bi-polar disorder, clinical depression, dependency, et cetera. Successful management of such issues requires the person afflicted commit to a lifelong regimen of treatment; some persons struggle mightily with that commitment.

As a consequence, accountability is of paramount importance when building a relationship with such individuals. The relationship must never become a crutch or an easier path than proper treatment of whatever condition.

Does this apply to the OP and her master? I do not know and will not speculate on her particulars. I do know that the long term health of a person with bi-polar or other mental health issues rides significantly on their willingness to be accountable for their own treatment plans, and that those closest to them must be willing to hold them accountable--even at the expense of a close relationship.

_____________________________

"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no Try."
Corny movie cliche that just happens to be true.

(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 1:07:59 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		I completely agree with IronBear, who shares yet another excellent answer.

Additionally consider meditation as a discipline to quiet the mind and center the heart.

One overlooked treatment for the physiological condition is fish oil, where the Omega-3 EPA and DHA lipids serve to balance synaptic and neuronal function. This has been supported but not conclusively confirmed in several double blind studies.
Linus Pauling Institute: Micronutirent Research for Optimum Health
Note: more than 1gram each of EPA and DHA is necessary. Omega-6 ALA does not work.

(in reply to loyalonlychild)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 1:11:38 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

I completely agree with IronBear, who shares yet another excellent answer.

Additionally consider meditation as a discipline to quiet the mind and center the heart.

One overlooked treatment for the physiological condition is fish oil, where the Omega-3 EPA and DHA lipids serve to balance synaptic and neuronal function. This has been supported but not conclusively confirmed in several double blind studies.
Linus Pauling Institute: Micronutirent Research for Optimum Health
Note: more than 1gram each of EPA and DHA is necessary. Omega-6 ALA does not work.



For a person suffering from Bi- polar disorder you are suggesting meditation and fish oil?

Really?..........







_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to aldompdx)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 1:40:38 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		The OP did say that when she was depressed she had nothing good to say about anything.

I would have a huge problem with this part of her condition, and would have to think hard and long before committing to supporting a master with this condition  -  especially since i cherish quiet and calmness.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 1:49:25 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff


quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

I completely agree with IronBear, who shares yet another excellent answer.

Additionally consider meditation as a discipline to quiet the mind and center the heart.

One overlooked treatment for the physiological condition is fish oil, where the Omega-3 EPA and DHA lipids serve to balance synaptic and neuronal function. This has been supported but not conclusively confirmed in several double blind studies.
Linus Pauling Institute: Micronutirent Research for Optimum Health
Note: more than 1gram each of EPA and DHA is necessary. Omega-6 ALA does not work.



For a person suffering from Bi- polar disorder you are suggesting meditation and fish oil?

Really?..........







Wasn't it just a year or two ago that Tom Cruise got blasted by every health organization out there for his stance on anti-depressants?  Of course, that was about the same time he was jumping up and down on the couch of the Oprah set looking like a lunatic.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 1:54:38 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Some years ago when I was cutting my grass, the 17-18 year old neighbor girl waved me over and said.

" I don't know why they are all surprised I am growing a penis, I told then it was going to happen"

I said ok, and wished her well. She than said " I have never had a penis before I might need some help"

I said, " that is something you should ask your doctor". She said, " GREAT idea!"

THAT was bi-polar. I fail to see how mediation and fish oil fix that. She was fine when she took her meds. Then she would feel better and stop taking her meds.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 2:12:21 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff


quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

I completely agree with IronBear, who shares yet another excellent answer.

Additionally consider meditation as a discipline to quiet the mind and center the heart.

One overlooked treatment for the physiological condition is fish oil, where the Omega-3 EPA and DHA lipids serve to balance synaptic and neuronal function. This has been supported but not conclusively confirmed in several double blind studies.
Linus Pauling Institute: Micronutirent Research for Optimum Health
Note: more than 1gram each of EPA and DHA is necessary. Omega-6 ALA does not work.



For a person suffering from Bi- polar disorder you are suggesting meditation and fish oil?

Really?..........








Omega 3 fatty acids (fish oil) are becoming a much more common adjuctive therapy in many mental illnesses.

Meditation techniques can be a part of psycho-therapy... .

Those treatments alone probably aren't going to cure Bi-polar disorder.

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 8/4/2010 2:13:03 PM >

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(in reply to Jeffff)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 2:41:40 PM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

Some years ago when I was cutting my grass, the 17-18 year old neighbor girl waved me over and said.

" I don't know why they are all surprised I am growing a penis, I told then it was going to happen"

I said ok, and wished her well. She than said " I have never had a penis before I might need some help"

I said, " that is something you should ask your doctor". She said, " GREAT idea!"

THAT was bi-polar. I fail to see how mediation and fish oil fix that. She was fine when she took her meds. Then she would feel better and stop taking her meds.

Omega-3 fatty acids play a role in proper neuron functioning; their capacity to potentiate Bi-Polar meds is in fact quite probable.

_____________________________

"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no Try."
Corny movie cliche that just happens to be true.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 4:20:43 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, I can accept that. I don't wish to pound on the OP either. She has serious shit to deal with.

If he knew going in he should probably sack up and do the right thong.

If he didn't, her bad.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to texangael)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 4:45:48 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Master was warned of my clinical depression years ago when we were getting to know each other.

He had more than enough time to run in the other direction.

He chose to stick around.

If at some point in our relationship it becomes too much for him though I would not want him around to make my depression worse.

I would talk to your owner and if it's too much for him then he's obviously not the one for you.

Not everyone can handle such things in life. Doesn't make them a bad person, just means their disposition is different from yours.

Let him go and find someone that can deal with it and loves you for you.

edited to add:

You also need to be proactive in your health. You have to help yourself if you expect anyone to stay around. You can't expect them to fix you and you can't expect them to want to be around you if you decide to take the "victim/abused" route.

If you both decide to stick it out together and to continue to try then I would suggest you both attend some of your therapy sessions together so he can get a better idea of just what you are going through.



< Message edited by littlewonder -- 8/4/2010 4:48:33 PM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 6:17:21 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I have a good friend, a Gorean Master who shares my birthday but is a year older then I am. When others were shunning him and turning their backs, Neets and I stayed with him and made sure he had what he needed, drove him to medical appoints and visited him in hospital after he booked himself into the psych ward for his bi-polar situation. He is now self sufficient, working and taking his meds. His psychiatrist (a professional friend who I often link with professionally) has him on Omega3 which has I understand shown to be helpful.

I take omega3 because of my osteoarthritis on both knees and I was informed by a couple of well thought of (professionally internationally) physicians that Omega3 will also be of some help in restoring my immune3 system too..


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 7:06:19 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		I have a bi-polar friend that is sans medication and has been that way for several years. She functions quite well and has gone on to create a successful business for herself. She uses alternative practices including Reiki and a giant dose of accountability. Rather than the disease controlling her life she took control and is doing far better than she ever did when medicated. I recognize her experience is unique and wouldn't be the same for everyone.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 7:45:06 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		and I have a step son who's bi polar wife is a bitch..she spends all their money on her self and her friends, and she phyical attacts and beats him at times..and she refuses to take her meds too...yet he stays with her no matter How many times she cheats on him with others.
yea, there are other sides...not just his or hers, but both sides of the family that watches that kind of shit and feel helpless to stop her, or her behaviors. I feel for her..and I feel for him. Its not a simple thing at all, for her ..or for him.

(in reply to porcelaine)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 8:01:48 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		That's kind of the point.

Bi-polar is all over the map.

I will not slam the " master" in the OP without knowing more.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

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