Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Do we have vanilla sex?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 5:22:36 AM   
sweetbbwsub31


Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		i have vanilla far too often but i am not in a 24/7 D/s relationship. i am guessing that if i was there would still be vanilla sex. Life gets in the way and there isn't always time for a full scene. i enjoy both sides. For me, it's 2 very different kinds of pleasure, both special in their own way.

(in reply to mathiasdomm)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 5:38:53 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

mathiasdomm: Do people in D/s relationships have vanilla sex? 

This is an odd and intimate question, but one I've been thinking about a lot lately.


Not an odd question & definitely not one that has never been asked before.

My standard reply is yes, but even our vanilla has a dash of sprinkles!

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to mathiasdomm)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 5:53:16 AM   
unquenchable


Posts: 155
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline 		Oh yes we have vanilla sex, need to let the body heal sometime!! 

grins

un--------------

(in reply to mathiasdomm)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 6:23:58 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mathiasdomm
Do people in D/s relationships have vanilla sex?  By vanilla, I mean no play, no toys, no kink.  Not even mental bondage.  The kind of sex you imagine the neighbors with the matching Volvos and track suits having. 

People who are kinky have non-kinky sex all the time.

However, if their authority dynamic is an ongoing one, it doesn't stop just because they have sex (even if the sub is on top, even if the dom is giving oral sex, etc).

It's rare for me to have non-kinky sex, but it certainly happens.  I went through the normal stages of thinking "No vanilla EVER!  Vanilla sucks and is pointless!"

And then I realized how stupid that was- vanilla sex is just as mind blowing and connecting as any type of sex can be.  So while it's rare for me to HAVE a vanilla sex connection with someone, it certainly does happen on occasion.

quote:

Or are we a subset of people who are going to find ways to make it interesting and creative regardless of circumstance? 

Vanilla sex is not boring or lacking in creativity.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mathiasdomm)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 6:30:53 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
BDSM does not refer to sex. It refers to controll, submission, and pain for punishment and or pleasure. The kink or lack there of during sex has little if not nothing to do with the life style. Punishment, torture, bondage, controll and such can still be in the relationship regardless of what goes on under the sheets.  


I find this very weird considering your previous statements:
What separates the bdsm community from everyone else?

By everyone else do you mean the Vanilla Community?

When a vanilla person tells you they are having sex, we normally think "Well that's nice." And don't put much thought into it. If you tell a vanilla person about having sex while being forced and tied down, slaped in the face, blind folded, and called dirty names, they'll think we're sick in the head. Vanilla is highly more judgmental on how people have sex.
 
And now here you're saying:
The kink or lack there of during sex has little if not nothing to do with the life style.
 
It seems like first you differentiate bdsm from vanilla by making a clear statement about sex and perceptions of sex, and now you say sex has absolutely nothing inherently to do with bdsm.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 6:37:17 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		Sex is such an emotional, psychological power that all facets of the person come into play. Denying my sadistic/Dom side is possible, but it is like thinking of a baseball game when I’m trying to make an embarrassing erection go away. I don’t always have to spank or whatever, but the control and power dynamic is usually there and shows in my aggressive ways.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 6:45:47 AM   
MistressXinran


Posts: 24
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not sure I do the only people I have sex with are my submissive partner and a few female subs and because they are all naturally submissive to me in life this transfers to sex, there can be no toys or play but there is always a D/s dynamic.
Xinran

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 7:26:00 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		What is vanilla sex?

It's a serious question.

(in reply to MistressXinran)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 2:06:04 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

What is vanilla sex?
It's a serious question.
Sex (intercourse, not oral) in the missionary position while eating vanilla ice cream I think.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 2:13:19 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

What is vanilla sex?
It's a serious question.
Sex (intercourse, not oral) in the missionary position while eating vanilla ice cream I think.   M


She hates vanilla ice cream.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 4/19/2006 2:15:01 PM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 3:18:25 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I know people who use blood as anal lube


I have been thinking about this line all day.  A year ago the thought of this would have just been gross.  Now it's "oh boy, I want to try that!!"  Blood play is becoming a new passion of mine  *eg*

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 3:31:04 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Thank goodness for vanilla sex.  Aren't there times, early in the morning, when you want to fuck without fanfare?  Aren't there times when a quickie will suffice?  With the right partner, it's all good.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 3:34:53 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

Sex is such an emotional, psychological power that all facets of the person come into play. Denying my sadistic/Dom side is possible, but it is like thinking of a baseball game when I’m trying to make an embarrassing erection go away. I don’t always have to spank or whatever, but the control and power dynamic is usually there and shows in my aggressive ways.


I have to agree with this...I can't seem to turn off my submissiveness even during what might appear to be missionary, kink-free sex. That's not to say I don't have missionary sex. (Hell, no, I couldn't give that up!) I just find that if my partner turns down the dominant thermostat, then my brain compensates by slipping into intense fantasy.

(Reluctant slave-girl and heartless owner is the hands-down favourite.)

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 4:29:49 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Sure we do...and it's terrific!

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 8:48:35 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP..I would think "vanilla" sex would be incorporated .However..The Dominant will always be dominating whereas the submissive will always submit..It is the mindset not the act...Tempting

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 10:05:27 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
What is vanilla sex?
It's a serious question.
Sex (intercourse, not oral) in the missionary position while eating vanilla ice cream I think.   M

She hates vanilla ice cream.
So the concensus is everyone except meatcleaver and his girl can have vanilla sex.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 10:59:59 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		"It seems like first you differentiate bdsm from vanilla by making a clear statement about sex and perceptions of sex, and now you say sex has absolutely nothing inherently to do with bdsm."

I didn't make a perception about sex, just the differental of what we think versus what vanilla people think. That particular thread points out how the majority of the vanilla people think we're freaks. Most of us, the life stylers, just think of them as regular people who do what works for them. Most of us do not view them as harmful or psycho. It pisses me off when we let them live there lives yet some if not most continue to fight against our life style with laws and local policy. We don't have our creative writting forum anymore because of there Bull Shit.

The "S" in BDSM stands for Sadisim. Sex is not mentioned in BDSM. It's a life style of controll. If I decide to spank my sub because she didn't finish the dishes then I will and no sex will be involved in it. If I want to tie my sub up to a chair and toss hot wax on her just for the fun of it, then I will and no sex needs to take place before, during, or after for me to enjoy my sadistic actions.

When I wake up with morning wood but to tired to get out of bed to get the cuffs, clamps, blind fold, and such, I'll persue and have good old fashin whip it in whip it out vanilla sex. It happens and I don't find it boring.  

Sex in itself does not have to be kinky to have a BDSM relationship. Bondage, domination, sadisim, and masochisim, can be in all or limited areas in a relationship.   


_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 11:19:35 PM   
IndigoDadesi


Posts: 185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom
not sure if I could "pass" without being spoted as a pervert. 


Well, yea. Your 12th order decoder ring gives it away.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 11:41:36 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To the OP..I would think "vanilla" sex would be incorporated .However..The Dominant will always be dominating whereas the submissive will always submit..It is the mindset not the act...Tempting

I agree here.  Master and I are always who we are, "vanilla" or otherwise.  We have a lot of "vanilla" sex, but He is always the dominant one, even if I am the one who initiates it.  I might be the agressor at times, but Master will decide if it happens. 


_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 11:44:11 PM   
DigitBox


Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mathiasdomm


Do people in D/s relationships have vanilla sex?  By vanilla, I mean no play, no toys, no kink.  Not even mental bondage.  The kind of sex you imagine the neighbors with the matching Volvos and track suits having. 

Is it possible? 


I do.  It's rare but it can be a nice change of pace when I'm just too horny to give a damn about all the other stuff that goes into scene play.

I'm still exploring the BDSM as the non-sexual purely in the headspace thing.  I have to say I like what I've experienced, but other times I mix the sex and the play together which is great too.  But  like I say, making out in an average way is quite nice too.

(in reply to mathiasdomm)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094