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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 11:48:49 PM

IndigoDadesi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
What is vanilla sex?
It's a serious question.
Sex (intercourse, not oral) in the missionary position while eating vanilla ice cream I think. M

She hates vanilla ice cream.
So the concensus is everyone except meatcleaver and his girl can have vanilla sex. M

Im lactose intolerant. And you really should discriminate against other vanilla products...like pudding, coffee cream and coke.

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/19/2006 11:56:42 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IndigoDadesi
Im lactose intolerant. And you really should discriminate against other vanilla products...like pudding, coffee cream and coke.

You've got me laughing making snorting noises on this side.
Sorry did not mean to eliminate other vanilla flavored things.

M

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Post #: 42

RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/20/2006 12:04:47 AM

IndigoDadesi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: IndigoDadesi
Im lactose intolerant. And you really should discriminate against other vanilla products...like pudding, coffee cream and coke.
You've got me laughing making snorting noises on this side.
Sorry did not mean to eliminate other vanilla flavored things. M

Anytime!

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Post #: 43

RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/20/2006 5:45:30 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
I didn't make a perception about sex, just the differental of what we think versus what vanilla people think. That particular thread points out how the majority of the vanilla people think we're freaks.

But why would you use a statement about the perceptions of sex as THE difference between vanillas and bdsmers when sex is not even inherent TO bdsm or vanilla?

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Post #: 44

RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 6:49:33 AM

FangsNfeet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
But why would you use a statement about the perceptions of sex as THE difference between vanillas and bdsmers when sex is not even inherent TO bdsm or vanilla?

Sex was just an example. Rather than just the preceptions of sex, I've also went on to the preceptions of relationships.

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 3:39:05 PM

mathiasdomm

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"I'm not sure I do the only people I have sex with are my submissive partner and a few female subs and because they are all naturally submissive to me in life this transfers to sex, there can be no toys or play but there is always a D/s dynamic.
Xinran"

"I have to agree with this...I can't seem to turn off my submissiveness even during what might appear to be missionary, kink-free sex. That's not to say I don't have missionary sex. (Hell, no, I couldn't give that up!) I just find that if my partner turns down the dominant thermostat, then my brain compensates by slipping into intense fantasy.

(Reluctant slave-girl and heartless owner is the hands-down favourite.)

Cin "

This is the kind of thinking that I'm in line with. I think the D/s is always there, I can't see where it goes away, even when the toys do. Obviously, there are a lot of different opinions about this, but I can't get away from this conclusion.

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 3:43:26 PM

CandiStarr69

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All this talk about vanilla ice cream is making me want to smear chocolate sauce all over my body.

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Post #: 47

RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 3:50:27 PM

meatcleaver

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Can I watch?

Or should I say, I do too!

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 4/21/2006 3:51:51 PM >

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 3:59:11 PM

LadiesBladewing

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I'm not entirely sure how to answer this, since it isn't the toys, play, or kink that make the sex that we have in our household something other than "vanilla"... and that "thing" existed in my relationships before I was ever involved in the lifestyle -- for me, the thing that marks my sexual relationship as "different" is the intense connection we have... it is never a routine "hump, hump, now dump the trash" around here -- when we are physically intimate with one another, it is passionate, electric, and powerful... but, as I said, this was the way things were for me even when I was married in a "normal" marriage, to an average guy who happened to be a soldier and fixed VCRs on the side -- I could never call my sex life "average" or "redundant" or "boring" -- because we just never let it be that way. *shrugs* It's the same now, though there are so many aspects of our life now that are outside of the mainstream, and all of those impact our physical intimacy with one another, so even though we -rarely- pull out the toys, scene, never do bondage, and only rarely pull out the cool-whip or spray topping, sex is still outside of the realm of what most people would consider an "average" experience.

Lady Zephyr

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 4:33:59 PM

Marva

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Well...ive enjoyed reading all Your input..but im a little confused about what exactly is considered vanilla and/or kink?...if spanking ,"dirty" talk.., toys, different postions...being tied up...etc are considered kink..then what's left for vanilla?..and if so, then i guess ive been kinked from the beginning... i THOUGHT all that stuff was normal? i mean, gee willakers....ive been doing that stuff always...(maybe girl is perverted and doesnt know it....)..Please give advice...any would be helpful....Thank You..

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 4:43:35 PM

Marva

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The former response is intended for anyone who would care to send advice my way....

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 4:47:25 PM

Lordandmaster

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I think this is the wrong way to think about vanilla sex. Actions or things aren't vanilla; PEOPLE are vanilla. The neighbors with the matching Volvos are vanilla (although you can't really be sure of that unless you're in their bedroom), so the sex they have is vanilla. We are not vanilla, so the sex we have is not vanilla--even if we appear to be doing the exact same thing as those vanilla neighbors. The d/s dynamic is always there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mathiasdomm

Do people in D/s relationships have vanilla sex? By vanilla, I mean no play, no toys, no kink. Not even mental bondage. The kind of sex you imagine the neighbors with the matching Volvos and track suits having.

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 4:49:28 PM

LadiesBladewing

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I guess I interpreted this as 'vanilla' being bland or boring or, even worse, completely apathetic sex -- "C'mon ma, it's the third Thursday of March in an even-numbered year... climb the ladder and hike your skirt... (sounds of grunting and the occasional sigh as ma thinks about whether she put enough salt in the stew in the crock-pot)."

Actually, for me, I think the thing that makes the difference between me and many of the people that I know who are in what they consider to be 'average' relationships is that sex isn't something they look -forward- to... and for those who -do- look forward to it, and want to be adventurous about it, most of them don't consider their sex lives any more "vanilla" than I consider mine.

*shrugs* Who's to say?

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marva

Well...ive enjoyed reading all Your input..but im a little confused about what exactly is considered vanilla and/or kink?...if spanking ,"dirty" talk.., toys, different postions...being tied up...etc are considered kink..then what's left for vanilla?..and if so, then i guess ive been kinked from the beginning... i THOUGHT all that stuff was normal? i mean, gee willakers....ive been doing that stuff always...(maybe girl is perverted and doesnt know it....)..Please give advice...any would be helpful....Thank You..

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 8:17:07 PM

foxglove716

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quote:

I originally put this in a reply to a post in Ask A Master (A Master's Worth), but it's a big question so I'll put it to the folks at large.

Do people in D/s relationships have vanilla sex? By vanilla, I mean no play, no toys, no kink. Not even mental bondage. The kind of sex you imagine the neighbors with the matching Volvos and track suits having.

Is it possible? Doesn't the label of 'submissive' automatically rule this out? Are we all regular people who sometimes just want to do it with the lights off, finish, and go to sleep? Or are we a subset of people who are going to find ways to make it interesting and creative regardless of circumstance?

This is an odd and intimate question, but one I've been thinking about a lot lately.

There will always be mental bondage when you make love to someone you're mentally bonded to

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/21/2006 10:12:38 PM

truesub4u

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Hmmm..... Been thinking about this thread and reading it off and on all day........Being raised and told all my life... (not by parents either... lol) that normal sex... is him on top.. you on bottom.. legs open... him between ... pumping... that's it!... Not fondling.... licking.. sucking.... nothing... just straight in and out... he is done... it's done... (Damn do gooders don't know what they're missing) So I can't say I've ever had just regular sex. I've had some slow... soft.. very sensual ..to... hard core.... pain inflicted... animal sex....(and NO not with a an actual animal either.... LOL)... but regular sex.... nope. But there's some out there i'm sure that have.....

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/22/2006 1:31:46 AM

Kedikat

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Vanilla sex is a derogatory term.
Any two or more people engaged in whatever erotic event that gives them pleasure, are getting pleasure.
It does not take props, certain roleplay or whatever, for people to have good erotic pleasure.
Some might find doing it doggie style to be a walk on the wild side.
If you are satisfied and happy with what you do, even knowing there is more to do, then you are doing fine.
Nobody does everything. But there is always someone who has done it, to tell you that you are missing out.
A lot of them are just bragging. But then, that's their thing too.

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/22/2006 1:45:06 AM

glitterdragon

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Ignore this. It's late and I hit okay instead of cancel..Ignore the dumb newbie this time..

< Message edited by glitterdragon -- 4/22/2006 2:08:31 AM >

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/22/2006 3:03:13 AM

obis

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I'm with twicehappy, if you just mean without toys or chains, then most sex we have is vanilla. But if you mean without any mental D/s dynamic at all, me deciding what to do or controlling her at all, then i don't think I've had vanilla sex in years. For us, even standard missionary position under the covers with the lights out has verbal interaction that would make most non-BDSM couples feel a little uneasy.

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/22/2006 9:40:09 AM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darke

Like the man said..I think it was Heidegger...or maybe Kant:

There's just pizza and good pizza....

There's no such thing as bad pizza.

But there's *definitely* such thing as bad sex!

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RE: Do we have vanilla sex? - 4/22/2006 9:42:22 AM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

hmm if You mean him on top and Me on bottom--nope--is he always restrained---no, are there always toys? Who needs toys when I'm the toy on top---

Seriously, in the true terms, no, I prefer the dominant position on top--<smiles>--so does he, so I guess the answer is no and I like it that way.

"Missionary position" isn't the only way to have "vanilla sex".

We have "vanilla sex" (no toys, no pain, no restraint) quite often. We don't have a vanilla *relationship*, but there's lots and lots of "vanilla sex".

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