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Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 1:44:19 PM

EasyE

Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline

I have collared my slave leah for some time now. Recently she hasn't been giving me much time. Her parents were gone all weekend and she barely made time to serve me. Now they're back and she wants to spend time with them. She doesn't seem to understand her duties to serve and only seems to when she wants to. I'm getting sick of it and thinking of cutting her loose. I think I am much more in love than she is. I understand its an age thing too. What should I say to her? If I bother her too much she thinks I'm getting clingy. I just want to be served on a regular basis and she wanted total submission.

TY in advance

Post #: 1

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 1:54:12 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I would say that she tried something and now she is over it and wanting something else. She's 19, thats what 19 year olds do - they try stuff until they find what they want.

(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 2

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:02:54 PM

EasyE

Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline

Yeah but she would probably break it off. She has an abusive past that lends herself to this lifestyle so I think it runs deep in her.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 3

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:07:33 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Um, she isn't serving you or apparently spending time with you. What would you call this relationship?

(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 4

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:08:28 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

What does slavery mean to leah? What does it mean to you?
What does submission mean to you? What does it mean to her?

It sounds like the 2 of you need to sit down separately with pen and paper and write that out along with any other 'style discrepencies' you may have.

And then sit down, read what the other person wrote and talk with each other.

If you aren't on the same page, you need to find out if you are at least in the same book.
If you are in the same book, then you need to determine if she wants to be on the same page, if not the outcome will be the same as if she wasn't in the same book: it will mean you want different things.

Best wishes.

_____________________________

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(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 5

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:09:44 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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My god... even a nineteen year old can have good common sense. From the exhibits you have provided these boards, talking (complaining) about your relationship publicly and the topics of your bitch... I wouldn't suggest many spend much time with you until you grow up.

Family is important and sometimes takes too much time, but to see it as something that is about you and not her relationship with them suggests more to the situation.

Honestly... you can't cut her loose. You need her in some way and can't figure it all out and make it work and expect far too much, then whine publicly. You might look in the mirror instead of trying to discredit her here.

_____________________________

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(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 6

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:13:18 PM

EasyE

Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

My god... even a nineteen year old can have good common sense. From the exhibits you have provided these boards, talking (complaining) about your relationship publicly and the topics of your bitch... I wouldn't suggest many spend much time with you until you grow up.

Family is important and sometimes takes too much time, but to see it as something that is about you and not her relationship with them suggests more to the situation.

Honestly... you can't cut her loose. You need her in some way and can't figure it all out and make it work and expect far too much, then whine publicly. You might look in the mirror instead of trying to discredit her here.

Yeah and as I remember you weren't any help in the last post. Keep it to yourself this is for constructive help.

To everyone else. We seemed to be on the same page but she has kinda faded off. Like she has forgotten how fun it is to submit.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 7

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:18:41 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Keeping it to yourself would be a good idea. She already thinks you are clingy, you blame her for not liking it all as much anymore and you go and post things like your last couple of threads. Now she can think you deflect, are obsessively clingy, among other things and will want even less time with you.

My posts are not helpful because you don't want to see what you are doing wrong and want people to agree with you that she is in error and help you find a way to fix her... when you really need to start the fixing with yourself.

I feel a strong dominant will view themselves prior to blaming their partner and will find their error and do something about it. The weaker one's complain about it, blame the other party and fail to see what they are doing wrong.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 8

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:20:15 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

My god... even a nineteen year old can have good common sense. From the exhibits you have provided these boards, talking (complaining) about your relationship publicly and the topics of your bitch... I wouldn't suggest many spend much time with you until you grow up.

Family is important and sometimes takes too much time, but to see it as something that is about you and not her relationship with them suggests more to the situation.

Honestly... you can't cut her loose. You need her in some way and can't figure it all out and make it work and expect far too much, then whine publicly. You might look in the mirror instead of trying to discredit her here.

Yeah and as I remember you weren't any help in the last post. Keep it to yourself this is for constructive help.

To everyone else. We seemed to be on the same page but she has kinda faded off. Like she has forgotten how fun it is to submit.

I agree with Lockit. From reading some of your past posts it sounds like you are more interested in her than she is in you.

If the two of you were on the same page, fading off would not be an issue. My guess is she is just not that into you.

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(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 9

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:34:03 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

I really thought this thread was Dancing with a flaky 19 year old, and when I saw that Holly responded,
I just knew it was going to be a fun post. Blah at my misreading.

Im sorry you are again at a crossroads in your relationship with Leah. Maybe she needs someone who can
appreciate her for her "flakiness", as you seem to be using that word as an insult. If you find her flaky, what is the
attraction you have for her?
Based on what you've written, she appears to have grown indifferent with the relationship, or she is not finding the act as rewarding as it once was when it was all new to her. As Angelica stated, communication is crucial in any relationship, and even more so in one that is on the verge of floundering. Best of luck to you in your pursuit of happier times with Leah.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 10

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:34:29 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE

To everyone else. We seemed to be on the same page but she has kinda faded off. Like she has forgotten how fun it is to submit.

So the excercise will give you an idea of where she is now as opposed to how it was.

Or perhaps for whatever reason it isn't fun for her anymore.

Since a conversation hasn't helped (or happened (?)) I suggested this... because somewhere or other I think the 2 of you have each jumped to different tracks.

If this was important to her, she would make time. She may have a short attention span, in which case I am guessing you dropped the ball in some way that gave her a big enough gap so she felt a need to fill in her time with other things.

If you want to find out your importance to her and the importance of the role of submission to her, you need to ask.
I gave you a tool.

Use it or not.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 11

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:39:15 PM

EasyE

Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline

Thanks good advice. She earned herself 35 lashes for not calling me this morning. I'm going to offer to take some away if she calls and we can talk things out. Add to them if she doesn't. I want this to work we just need to figure out what is missing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE

To everyone else. We seemed to be on the same page but she has kinda faded off. Like she has forgotten how fun it is to submit.

So the excercise will give you an idea of where she is now as opposed to how it was.

Or perhaps for whatever reason it isn't fun for her anymore.

Since a conversation hasn't helped (or happened (?)) I suggested this... because somewhere or other I think the 2 of you have each jumped to different tracks.

If this was important to her, she would make time. She may have a short attention span, in which case I am guessing you dropped the ball in some way that gave her a big enough gap so she felt a need to fill in her time with other things.

If you want to find out your importance to her and the importance of the role of submission to her, you need to ask.
I gave you a tool.

Use it or not.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 12

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:43:49 PM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

Wow. The whole thing about 35 lashes for not calling when she is already acting lackluster seems wrong to me. I confess, I'm not experienced enough in this dynamic yet to really understand why it seems wrong to me, but that is my gut reaction as a submissive/slave. It would not inspire me to in any way want to obey or work things out' if I needed space.

Just offering my personal opinion as a submissive.

(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 13

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:44:09 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE

I just want to be served on a regular basis and she wanted total submission.

I'd say first we need to work on our definitions.

If she has emotional issues (from prior relationships or not), it is natural for you to hesitate to release her into the wild. You might be concerned that her next stop on life's pinball machine might not be as pleasant as what you have to offer.

I'm thinking you and she should both take that chance.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 14

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:44:17 PM

taken2010

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/26/2009
Status: offline

@OP--I am a bit confused. Your profile indicates dominant but the way your profile reads as submissive.

You are both YOUNG and have much to learn on either side of the kneel. You can't make someone be into YOU and her family may be extremely important to her and she may want to serve and please you but also has a desire to serve and please her family.
This may leave her conflicted and trying to figure out to do both.

IF you haven't looked for a TNG or munch group I would suggest you do so.

I have elderly parents that require a substantial amount of my time. More time than I care to give at times.

However, my Dom knows that and that my primary focus outside of the parents is HIM. Is it easy? NO

IF you don't take the time to openly communicate with each other maybe you are not really ready for a
committed relationship at this time!

(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 15

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:47:16 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

I confess, I'm not experienced enough in this dynamic yet to really understand why it seems wrong to me.

So that means 40 lashes to YOU for not getting up to speed fast enough. Get with the program.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to HisEvelyn)

Post #: 16

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:51:34 PM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

::falls to her knees, quivering:: Nooo, no please spare me Sir!!! I'll be twueeeee, I'll be twueeeee, I pwomise! :)

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 17

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:55:10 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EasyE

Thanks good advice. She earned herself 35 lashes for not calling me this morning. I'm going to offer to take some away if she calls and we can talk things out. Add to them if she doesn't. I want this to work we just need to figure out what is missing.

Ok, it sounds like you are trying to force everything.

You can't force submission
You can't force communication.
You can't force her to have fun.
You can't force reciprocal feelings.
You can't force love.

The type of relationship you have would not work for me and He must be doing something right because we have been together for over 18 months.

I am there for his pleasure.
Willingness is a part of that.

Punishment gives him no pleasure.
Disobedience gives him no pleasure.

I am willingly his or I would not be his.

A 'where we stand' conversation is something you do together after a nice dinner, or while on a long walk... it isn't something you beat into someone.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 18

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:56:50 PM

EasyE

Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline

Yes 35 is a lot. We started at 20 and added 5 each new time it happens. She has been doing well so the number is still lower. 3 misses is all so far so she's doing good. If it was the same every time there wouldn't be much deterrant.

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 19

RE: Dealing with a flaky 19yo slave - 8/8/2010 2:57:10 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Thanks good advice. She earned herself 35 lashes for not calling me this morning. I'm going to offer to take some away if she calls and we can talk things out. Add to them if she doesn't. I want this to work we just need to figure out what is missing.

I would dump you so fast your head would spin for this little trick, but I'm not 19.

_____________________________

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(in reply to EasyE)

Post #: 20

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