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NuevaVida -> RE: Willing to accept less so that you aren't alone? (8/14/2010 8:39:36 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I don't want to be bitchy, but I am finding it hard to believe that everyone who is single is perfectly and totally happy to be so.
I also find it interesting that so many men and women are saying they have relaxed their standards; if profiles are any indication, that is untrue. You see all sorts of people asking for things that they probably will never find.
I also find it hard to believe those that are saying that those of us single people have something wrong with us that we cannot connect with another.
It is like the million emails and conversations I have on a daily basis where someone, male or female says, "how can YOU be single? shocking!"
It seems many cannot understand that it is who we meet that is the issue, not us, at least in my case. Just because I have not met the NEXT one, does not make me some psycho bitch for being suddenly single.
I think it would be more concerning had I remained in my toxic relationship for any longer time than I already wasted in it.
I honestly do like myself better now, feel I am a better woman and respect myself and what I have to offer than at any other time. So if I choose to only share myself with someone who I respect and admire and who offers me the same, that is what I will do.
I wish I was desperate; then I would be busy every night!! But alas, I am not desperate so will continue on my path towards whatever or whomever is waiting.
Hi sexyred1,
When I was single, I noticed there's this mindset in society that I must be unhappy for being single, and something must be "wrong" with me because I'm single - that either I can't keep a relationship or I'm too picky, or I must be lying when I said I was really OK with being single.
And then of course there were those who, when I *gasp* dated two men in a row, decided I was "jumping from one man to the next" and something was wrong with me then, too. LOL Ya just can't win.
Having suffered through a long term (bad bad bad) marriage and very nasty divorce, and then a relationship which left me messed in the head, I took time exploring myself - both dating and not dating. I cherished my girlfriends and found my life was really full and really good. I honestly saw myself growing old single, and I liked that vision. I decided I preferred to be single, and in fact I actually told the man I'm now with that I wasn't interested in pursuing any relationship - that I wanted to keep my life simple and happy and "Men just complicate things" lol.
I liked what juliaoceania said about keeping it simple. I think that's why my relationship is working - because we both just want to keep things simple.
To the OP: As for settling, I believe I settled in the past without even realizing it. I just never thought well enough of myself to give myself what I should have had; I was just amazed that someone wanted me. *Cue the violins* This time, though, it was really different. I remember telling him "My life is really good right now, and it's going to take someone really spectacular to add to the goodness I already have." And I meant it - I really was content with the way things were and saw no reason to change it. Obviously I did change it - the man makes me laugh, and gives me this platform to totally explore and be myself. I made no apologies for who I was, from the beginning - basically, "This is me, don't like it? Move on, then." It was a much different place from which to begin a relationship.
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