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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 4:28:55 AM

BoiJen

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Something tells me that if Otters is offended, he'll let me know

LOL

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 5:04:39 AM

Jeffff

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Words evolve. When was the last time anyone used "gay" in it's original meaning?

Also, when spoken out loud, how does a person know the difference between boi and boy?

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 5:39:39 AM

pahunkboy

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She can call herself anything she wants..... just as long as I get lots of SEX!!! HA

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 7:30:25 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx

I have never let the words other people say cause me to not be me. I know who and what I am. If someone wants to take a phrase that pertains to me and give it a new meaning, by all means. Go for it.

Kyttyn's words here reflect my feelings.

Unless someone gets a bunch of surgery to look exactly like me and starts running around my neighbourhood passing themselves off as me, I have a huge lack of give a damn. The racist hillbilly dickhead, I had words with at the local gas station on Saturday, can shave his creepy beard, put on a sexy dress and red stilettos and call himself a woman, and if that's his thing......I am not going to argue with him or be offended. It sure as hells isn't going to make me feel threatened as a woman or feel less like a woman. I will however, laugh at him, if I see him.

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 9:07:03 AM

Missokyst

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It still sounds like hetrosexual to me. I get aroused by watching male male porn and I am not a man. I think for fantasizing about something to indicate bisexuality, one would have to do it on your own. Hetro ... but negotiable for play.
I think women would have to turn you on without some guy present for it to be flexible. Having to have that guy in the mix is taking the flexibility out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have become aroused by watching lesbian porn. I love to draw women. I think women are beautiful...but in my noggin it isn't hot unless a man can watch me. I never fantasize about it on my own, although I have had some hot flashes talking about doing it with my partner.

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 9:07:26 AM

BKSir

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This seems to be one of the extremely rare occasions where I actually disagree with you Jen. :(
I tend to be in the "words and terms do change" camp. After all, it's kind of like now we have things like, not only cross dressers AND transvestites, but we have gender-queer, gender-neutral, blah blah blah... And while I agree that I find the term "hetero-flexible" to be kind of annoying, I think it is a valid term.

Frankly though, in a way, I do miss the days where we were just a "buncha homos". It was so much easier.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

It still sounds like hetrosexual to me. I get aroused by watching male male porn and I am not a man. I think for fantasizing about something to indicate bisexuality, one would have to do it on your own. Hetro ... but negotiable for play.

Also, NO! No, we can not have "hetero-negotiable". We have enough damn terms already.

< Message edited by BKSir -- 8/16/2010 9:10:20 AM >

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 9:09:08 AM

Missokyst

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LMAO

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir
I do miss the days where we were just a "buncha homos". It was so much easier.

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 9:26:04 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Yes, there are some people that think that.

What I meant how ever is that if all things were equal, for a relationship, I'd choose a man every time. But for sexual thrills? Women would probably win out for the sexual thrills catagory.

To me saying bisexual doesn't cover that fact. And seems somewhat misleading.

However yes I do still say bisexual, and just state the terms of bisexuality to me, in my profile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Second, are there REALLY folks who think that "bisexual" means being sexually attracted to ALL individuals of either sex?

Conditional bisexuality" or "heteroflexible" is still a cop out. Justify it all you want but if you find yourself attracted to some individuals of either sex, you're bi. That's what the word means.

boi

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 9:29:14 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Yeah it grinds my gears when STRAIGHT men use "boi". But what can we do, other than rant? There are plenty of douchecanoes out there calling themselves "submissive" when they mean "the chick ought to pay".

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 9:36:32 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

It still sounds like hetrosexual to me. I get aroused by watching male male porn and I am not a man. I think for fantasizing about something to indicate bisexuality, one would have to do it on your own. Hetro ... but negotiable for play.
I think women would have to turn you on without some guy present for it to be flexible. Having to have that guy in the mix is taking the flexibility out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have become aroused by watching lesbian porn. I love to draw women. I think women are beautiful...but in my noggin it isn't hot unless a man can watch me. I never fantasize about it on my own, although I have had some hot flashes talking about doing it with my partner.

I would agree with that at this moment in my life... but I fully intend that I will probably have sex with another woman at some point as a part of a future relationship with a man because I think it is hot. So, since bisexual under the strictest of definitions includes those who have sex with someone of the same sex, then it means it only takes the action to be bisexual?

This is the problem with these terms, most people exist in a range of sexuality that is so variable that it is hard to encapsulate them in one word. That is why I do not get people who are irate over the use or nonuse of a label. It seems damned silly to me

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 9:40:24 AM

laurell3

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quote:

Let's run with the bi thing for a second. Bi folks often have it doubly damned cuz the straight folks what you to make up your damned mind and the gay folks feel like being "bi" weakens the "fight". To be "heteroflexible" negates the struggle that bi folks go through in not only establishing their own sexuality with themselves and others, it undermines the struggles of being taken seriously from the rest of the world. It's a fuckin issue. I gotta tell you, if some of the bi folks I know (with principles) could just be "heteroflexible" and not have to deal with the shit they deal with cuz het society would accept them, they would. But it's not that easy when you have principles and words define us to the outside world.

I'm not sure it's safe to assume that people adopt a label for the same reasons you are enraged. Most people really don't consider politicial ramifications or the overall struggle in any community when they make a profile or adopt a label. They look at the defintions. Heteroflexible meets their definition and I'm kind of glad the label came about because "bi-curious" is a bit silly in my opinion and doesn't properly connote that someone has some sexual but not romantic interest and that does seem to be what people used before, which didn't really fit imo.

I can tell you I've had the bi label for over a decade now and I've never had anyone criticise me for that OTHER than lesbians quite a few years ago, who told me I HAD to pick (yeah I'm old enough to remember when the stigma existed for choosing bi rather than straight or gay). I've certainly had people criticise the switch label, I tell them to kiss my ass and move on. I can't begin to understand how someone would be overly concerned about pleasing everyone or criticising everyone else for picking the labels that they feel fit them. But then again, I see labels as a starting point, not really something that defines me as a person overall.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 8/16/2010 9:52:25 AM >

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 9:42:37 AM

BKSir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Yeah it grinds my gears when STRAIGHT men use "boi". But what can we do, other than rant? There are plenty of douchecanoes out there calling themselves "submissive" when they mean "the chick ought to pay".

LOL, Hibby... There is nothing in here that I disagree with at all.

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 9:45:30 AM

LadyPact

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I get the folks that are saying that words and definitions change with the times. It doesn't stop Me from laughing when someone who is male that identifies as male goes around using the term "boi". I've literally run into people who have changed their screen names because when they started their account, they didn't know what it meant and they thought the term originated with 'skater boi'. (That is an actual exchange, btw.)

I happen to think that the evolution of words can have a direct clash with certain cultures. The terms that people used to describe themselves before a culture became accepted (or in some cases, people now think using them is hip and cool) makes Me understand this on a certain level. At the same time, it's hard to rage against that change when you look at words that are used to describe that culture. "Gay" was an original term for happy and "fag" has had various definitions from a bundle of sticks to a cigarette. That doesn't mean that a male using the term "boi" for himself isn't going to make Me look at that person with the impression that he doesn't know where the term originated. Frankly, some of them don't.

The only place that I really do disagree with you, jen, is the bit about bisexual rather than heteroflexible. I still see the difference in that as what a person wants to do of their own desires and what one is willing to do for someone else that wouldn't happen without the outside influence. I admit freely that I base this on My own personal experiences. People can say what they will, but I really do know the difference between someone who moves to a same gender experience because it is something they may have wanted to do all along and somebody who has come to that place because they have reached that point in their submission. The former is a lot easier to accomplish than the latter. We can debate it until the cows come home, but I can promise you that these are not identical situations.

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 10:08:53 AM

Chrisincuffs

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I agree with Laurell3, I've only been criticized for calling myself "bi" by lesbians. I think beautiful women are beautiful, whether they look like a girl or a boy, I enjoy having sex with them. Do I want a relationship with them? no. It's just in my wiring that for a relationship I want a masculine dominant man to submit to.
I've been criticized for being a switch as well but it plays into the whole bi thing. I want to dominate a woman but submit to a man. The men that let me dominate I quickly lose respect for and get bored. I prefer to submit completely to my partner and we like calling each other Master and slave. We know what the definition is, but just could give a shit about labels.
I like being able do do what I like and not be labeled to begin with.
It bothers me more that I have to hide my sexual preferences from my family. If I was gay I know my family would love me the same, but to them being bi have the connotation of being promiscuous, the same as they would NEVER understand if I told them I enjoy being chained and spanked.

I do have to say that everyone has great points on this thread. Jen I totally get your rant and Julia I see exactly why you DON'T see yourself as bi. I do have one question about this though. Did you really enjoy the time you were with a woman? or was it just going through the motions and the thought of ultimately pleasing the man pleased you? Which I understand completely I've done plenty of things that didn't really get me off but pleased my partner so much that I loved it.

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 10:09:56 AM

BoiJen

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Ok. I'll comment on the rest when I finish working but what I wanted to ask is an "if x, they what?" kinda thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I really do know the difference between someone who moves to a same gender experience because it is something they may have wanted to do all along and somebody who has come to that place because they have reached that point in their submission.

Ok using this as the means of defining "heteroflexible", what's it mean when D-types use the word? Obviously it's not about their submission.

boi

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 10:10:36 AM

Jeffff

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Ok... so Laurell is bi.... and a woman......

"Jeff'sboi"

?

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 10:24:32 AM

windchymes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

To expand that definition is like expanding the definition of "het" to mean "heteroflexible" (coward shit) because someone doesn't want to own up to being "bi"

I may have sex with a woman under the right circumstances (a man would have to be present for me to get off on it), and that makes me actually "hetroflexible"...

I have heard this called "situationally bisexual" :)

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 10:24:35 AM

sexyred1

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I always believe that being bisexual, means you are capable and interested in having sex with a member of either sex. I think heteroflexible is just a new-ish term just as bi-curious, both of which are kind of annoying to me. I think men invented bi-curious to justify their endless fascination with threesomes.

For me, I could have sex with a man or a woman but would not likely fall in love with a woman. So what does that make me?

I think it makes me a straight woman who has been with women sexually and in love relationships with men. Right?

Towards Julia's point, I am the opposite, I would not want a guy around when I was with a woman. I am one on one, whoever the other is. I would never be "bisexual" just to please someone else.

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 10:28:42 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

I would never be "bisexual" just to please someone else.

I get sexually aroused by the thought of a man watching me perform with a woman.... Now, in your mind that is all about him, think about it, it really is about me getting off on his reaction to it... therefore it wouldn't be "just to please someone else".

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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 10:34:32 AM

sexyred1

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I agree, Julia. I was speaking more conceptually about those endless threads where women say they are repulsed by other women yet their Dom is making them do it to please them.

I think that is far different than your situation where you already know you feel aroused by the thought, even if it is anchored by him watching you. That is more understandable.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 8/16/2010 10:35:08 AM >

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