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RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:08:48 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

I was speaking more conceptually about those endless threads where women say they are repulsed by other women yet their Dom is making them do it to please them.

Those threads bugged me.... what sort of person makes another do something that psychologically disturbs them because they think it is hot? I do not even understand how a man could get off on it knowing he was causing his submissive to be distraught. If I am recalling the same thread you are

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

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(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 41

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:08:51 AM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Ok. I'll comment on the rest when I finish working but what I wanted to ask is an "if x, they what?" kinda thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I really do know the difference between someone who moves to a same gender experience because it is something they may have wanted to do all along and somebody who has come to that place because they have reached that point in their submission.

Ok using this as the means of defining "heteroflexible", what's it mean when D-types use the word? Obviously it's not about their submission.

boi

Damnit Jen, quit being so intelligent! You're going to turn me hetero-flexible... or bi, or whatever! ;)

I just don't understand the need to label ones self in such a manner anyway. Why not, if heteroflexible, bi, metrosexual (I hate that term too), just say, "I like sex."? It's so much simpler, and covers the subject pretty darned well.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

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(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 42

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:10:22 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

Damnit Jen, quit being so intelligent! You're going to turn me hetero-flexible... or bi, or whatever! ;)

I just don't understand the need to label ones self in such a manner anyway. Why not, if heteroflexible, bi, metrosexual (I hate that term too), just say, "I like sex."? It's so much simpler, and covers the subject pretty darned well.

I would agree with this if she was not ranting out the other side of her mouth about protecting her own label

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 43

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:13:17 AM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

For me, I could have sex with a man or a woman but would not likely fall in love with a woman. So what does that make me?

I would say that would make you "bi-sexual", in the technical meaning of the word. After all, "sexual" pertains, in my opinion, to the "sexual" aspect of the relationship.

Just like if I were to fall in love with a female, I can pretty assuredly say that I wouldn't find her attractive, but I could still love her. Thus, I would still be "homosexual".

And thus, that's the problem with labels as such. Right there in my second sentence. "in my opinion". You are what you are, what you say you are, who you feel you are inside, regardless of what others may label you as.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 44

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:15:09 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Ok. I'll comment on the rest when I finish working but what I wanted to ask is an "if x, they what?" kinda thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I really do know the difference between someone who moves to a same gender experience because it is something they may have wanted to do all along and somebody who has come to that place because they have reached that point in their submission.

Ok using this as the means of defining "heteroflexible", what's it mean when D-types use the word? Obviously it's not about their submission.

boi

For the first question, you'll have to help Me out a bit. I'll be more than happy to discuss it with you.

On the second, I can't help much. I'm as straight as I can be, so I don't have a situational reference.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 45

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:19:12 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

For me, I could have sex with a man or a woman but would not likely fall in love with a woman. So what does that make me?

I would say that would make you "bi-sexual", in the technical meaning of the word. After all, "sexual" pertains, in my opinion, to the "sexual" aspect of the relationship.

Just like if I were to fall in love with a female, I can pretty assuredly say that I wouldn't find her attractive, but I could still love her. Thus, I would still be "homosexual".

And thus, that's the problem with labels as such. Right there in my second sentence. "in my opinion". You are what you are, what you say you are, who you feel you are inside, regardless of what others may label you as.

All true. Although, I would venture to say that if you fell in love with a female, but not find her attractive, you would not be "in love" but you could, of course just love her.

To me, falling in love connotes some sort of sexual context that just simply loving someone, as a friend, does not.

Again, it is all semantics, labels, etc and we all are what we are.

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 46

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:23:05 AM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

Possibly... although, at the same time, whilst in college I was very much in love with someone, and he was very much in love with me. And we loved eachother (because, yes, I do understand what you are saying about loving someone and being IN love with someone being two different things). However, we never had any physical relationship. I mean, we slept together, but, that's all we did, slept. So, would I, just based on that situation, say that he was bisexual or homosexual? Not really.

Damned semantics. I still like to just go with "I'm me. Want a sammich?".

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 47

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:28:09 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I really truly believe that romantic love does not need to be attached to sex, or consummated in any physical manner.

I also believe that HAVING sex with a person of the same gender isn't enough to make you bi or gay. I have had sex with a woman. Pussy does not excite me. I adore women, I could turn my back on men forever (like, they could leave the planet) but I just have no sexual attraction for females.

I can have two men entertain me by having sex with each other. Unless they would have the desire to do that WITHOUT Madam Hibbers telling them to? Not gay.

I can go to church without being a Christian, too.

Whatever happened to intention counting for something?

~~having an extracranky day on the internets, I guess!~~

ETA: Yes, BK, I would love a sammich!!

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[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 48

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:28:26 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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LOL. Yes, I think we should all say that BKSir!!

I say that because in every situation I have ever been in with a man who said I love you or I am in love with you and I asked if I loved them back, I could honestly say I loved the man, even if he was gay.

However, I only ever could say I am IN LOVE with you, if I wanted to fuck his brains out as well.

Now, where is that sammich?

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 49

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:36:32 AM

DomKen

Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
Second, are there REALLY folks who think that "bisexual" means being sexually attracted to ALL individuals of either sex? Just cuz you don't want to get it on with everyone of the same sex doesn't make someone "less gay"; same for being het. If a het male isn't attracted to ALL females, does that make him not "het"? "Conditional bisexuality" or "heteroflexible" is still a cop out. Justify it all you want but if you find yourself attracted to some individuals of either sex, you're bi. That's what the word means.

The problem is that sexuality is not a set of discrete positions on a dial (homo, bi, hetero), its a continuum. There are people who are completely and exclusively attracted to members of one sex (true homo and hetero) and according to Kinsey and later studies this is actually fairly rare. The rest of the population has or has had different degrees of sexual attaction to members of each sex. Most of this group would reject the label bisexual as their sexual orientation is towards a single sex. Even amongst the group that would engage in sexual activity with either sex there are many who primarily identify as hetero or homo because that is their primary orientation.

Just as you choose the term boi as a description of your gender identity a primarily straight person can identify as heteroflexible. Both terms transmit important information about the person.

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 50

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 11:52:24 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen
terms transmit important information about the person.

This.

Back to work...

boi

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Post #: 51

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 12:07:33 PM

Missokyst

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<g> All this makes me glad I am pathologically straight.

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Post #: 52

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 3:04:40 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

what sort of person makes another do something that psychologically disturbs them because they think it is hot? I do not even understand how a man could get off on it knowing he was causing his submissive to be distraught

Sadists.................

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Post #: 53

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 3:06:26 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
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Yes?............

Oh..... nevermind.......

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Post #: 54

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 3:09:54 PM

VioletGray

Posts: 359
Joined: 10/29/2007
From: Baltimore, MD
Status: offline

I was pretty surprised to see the post that started this thread. I've been in the goth scene here since '94, and here at least, the term "boi" had always referred to an extremely effeminate male.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Goth%20Boi

It wasn't until very recently (last couple years or so?) that I've started to see the term "boi" by itself without "Goth" in front of it.

are boi's strictly a lesbian phenomenon?

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 55

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 3:10:34 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
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FR

What is the difference between a lesbian, a dyke and a boi? I wanna know.

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Post #: 56

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 3:11:01 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

what sort of person makes another do something that psychologically disturbs them because they think it is hot? I do not even understand how a man could get off on it knowing he was causing his submissive to be distraught

Sadists.................

Not all of them male, either.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 57

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 3:12:41 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

what sort of person makes another do something that psychologically disturbs them because they think it is hot? I do not even understand how a man could get off on it knowing he was causing his submissive to be distraught

Sadists.................

The thread I am speaking of was posted many years ago... it was a bit more than that, the submissive in question posted about this as though it would shatter her... it was very disturbing

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 58

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 3:13:40 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

FR

What is the difference between a lesbian, a dyke and a boi? I wanna know.

Politics and how they fuck.

boi

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Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

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Post #: 59

RE: Personal Rant...not the first time.... - 8/16/2010 3:16:29 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VioletGray

I was pretty surprised to see the post that started this thread. I've been in the goth scene here since '94, and here at least, the term "boi" had always referred to an extremely effeminate male.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Goth%20Boi

It wasn't until very recently (last couple years or so?) that I've started to see the term "boi" by itself without "Goth" in front of it.

are boi's strictly a lesbian phenomenon?

Dykes have been using the word as far back as the late 70's (so far as I can tell from the information I can find) as a push back against "extremist" lesbian feminism limiting sex to non-penetrative activities and an expression of "girl" power.

boi

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to VioletGray)

Post #: 60

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