RE: Training ??????

RE: Training ?????? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

afkarr -> RE: Training ?????? (8/24/2010 7:21:26 PM)
CHOO CHOO! Bring on the train! Every girls dream!! oh, you said "training". My bad. The last time I needed training I was wearing diapers and had to learn how to use the potty right. I was 2. And that wasn't in role play years either. FYI: in my employment world, the word "training" is not used, the preferred terminology seems to be either "orientation" or "staff education".

BonesFromAsh -> RE: Training ?????? (8/24/2010 7:40:08 PM)
When I got involved with my first dominant partner, he took the time to show me the way he liked things to be...not just in a sexual sense but in general. He showed me how to fold his shirts, how to make his favorite drink and a host of other little things. Protocol wasn't of the utmost importance but he did have expectations in regards to manners and social graces. The other day, I recieved an email from a male submissive telling me how much he wanted to be "trained" and how badly he needed to be shown what was right. I asked him what he meant by "what was right" but I never got a reply. I didn't play the game according to his rules, I guess. Training, in my opinion, is the process a person goes through to become better and more efficient at a task. Nothing more...nothing less and certainly not a magic keyword that unlocks the door to perfect submission in a general sense.

WyldHrt -> RE: Training ?????? (8/24/2010 8:08:02 PM)
Everyone has their preferences for terminology, but I don't really get why some people (general, not necessarily on this thread) seem to wig out at the word 'training'. Most humans are trained for many things in life, starting with the aforementioned potty training and continuing through on the job training. My resume lists many areas that I am fully trained and/or certified in. As an EMT, I was trained in the accepted procedures used in that profession. When my dogs and I worked with a professional in obedience training, you can bet he was training me, not my dogs (that was my job). When we were done, I was an experienced, properly trained handler with extremely well trained animals. People hire 'personal trainers' all the time to help them get in shape, don't they? Athletes are often said to be 'in training' during the pre season and season of their sport. The word is really quite common when applied to humans. On another note, I suppose we could call them "teaching bras", but it sounds a little weird. [8D] quote: Training is what occurs when you are taught to do something new. This is pretty much how I see it as well, but I would add improving on existing skills.

DarkSteven -> RE: Training ?????? (8/24/2010 8:22:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt On another note, I suppose we could call them "teaching bras", but it sounds a little weird. [8D] Throw the damn bra out. I will be happy to train your breasts in grace, protocol, and how they may please me.

CelticPrince -> RE: Training ?????? (8/24/2010 9:16:55 PM)
quote: Teaching her to be more submissive when that is appropriate. In other words, teaching her to trust more than she had when a trustworthy person was involved as well as generally teaching her to be more accepting of "submissive" as a personality type. Teaching her to be less submissive when that is appropriate. Generally, out in the world at large, Carol gets pushed around by random strangers a bit too readily for my tastes. I recognize that this very thing is what makes her my slave, but I'd at least like to see her learn to moderate that knee-jerk "must submit" response. Teaching her about good leadership. Carol will never be a leader, but I'd like her to know how to recognize good leaders so that if I die she has the best shot possible at finding a future partner. jeff, now teaching and exposure is something I can wrap my mind around / thanks for your thoughts. CP

sexyred1 -> RE: Training ?????? (8/24/2010 9:24:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Training is necessary. I am talking about a dominant training a submissive to his likes/dislikes. I am not talking about some sort of universal training, as I think that is a bunch of b.s.. I don't know Katy, I don't see it that way. I see it as sharing.

leadership527 -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 12:49:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Training is necessary. I am talking about a dominant training a submissive to his likes/dislikes. I am not talking about some sort of universal training, as I think that is a bunch of b.s.. Personally, my guess is that this is exactly why the word training has such bad connotations in this context. As has been pointed out by AquaticSub, the word "training" is used in regards humans regularly in other contexts and nobody thinks a thing of it. When I spoke of training Carol, it wasn't some generic b.s. It's the predictable set of things that'd be good to learn if you were new to all this (as we both were). It'd be perfectly reasonable to say that she trained me also. In addition, it wouldn't occur to me to think that some sub with 20 years experience would need such training. I think the word itself has gotten a bad rap because it's become a bdsm mantra... get slave, train slave... without much thought as to whether the slave in question actually needs any training.

Twoshoes -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 12:57:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 Teaching her about good leadership. Carol will never be a leader, but I'd like her to know how to recognize good leaders so that if I die she has the best shot possible at finding a future partner. That's actually pretty thoughtful. Trying to make sure the person is left in a better place if a relationship ends is not only considerate, but also seems to promote more consideration during the relationship itself! It'd be a good goal to try to make sure a relationship won't end badly too. This just promotes even more considerate behaviour. (By the way, I just stole your wisdom and made it my own. Wisdom-jacked![;)])

MistressRouge -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 1:02:41 AM)
Training, is an essential transition within a D/s context. We all evolve, and still evolve in one way or another, progress, achievement and learning new things is a healthy aspect to a D/s relationship.

CelticPrince -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 4:39:30 AM)
quote: Training is a part of everyday life. Training on a job, training children, training submissives, ect ect ect. I view training as teaching. How does he like his bed made? The toilet paper roll hung? His socks folded? His coffee made? All these, and so much more, are part of a training program. tazzygirl, Thanks for your input, bowever I have to say the way you put it might apply to every interpersonal relationship on earth. I was focusing on the D/s aspect. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 4:44:05 AM)
quote: I say, if I expect someone to serve at a high protocol dinner, I can't just expect them to just know what that entails unless I step up and make sure they have been taught how to do so. Same with any other job that anyone expects someone else to accomplish. What do we call that in the business world? Training. LP, absolutely right..........in the business world, but I address D/s When you consider asubmissive and tell they they will need trainning; what do you belive that they think that will involve? CP

LadyPact -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 7:52:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince I say, if I expect someone to serve at a high protocol dinner, I can't just expect them to just know what that entails unless I step up and make sure they have been taught how to do so. Same with any other job that anyone expects someone else to accomplish. What do we call that in the business world? Training. quote: LP, absolutely right..........in the business world, but I address D/s When you consider asubmissive and tell they they will need trainning; what do you belive that they think that will involve? CP I'm not so much of a mind reader, so let's change the focus from what they think to what I think. Keeping in mind that you're asking Me specifically about a submissive, and D/s rather than M/s, I'm not particularly going to expect someone with a leather background. Leather really is a culture within a culture of wiitwd. Protocol isn't something that most people learn by osmosis from going to their local munch. Not high protocol, at any rate. On top of that are specific skills, such as Hib mentioned. Leather care is a big one with Me and so is formal service. There are plenty of kinky people out there who have never been to a high protocol dinner, much less served at one. I'm not quite sure of what the issue is in using a term that is common to the business world. Someone can kick about if they'd like about how it's not a job, but a relationship. Yet within that relationship (in this case a dynamic) there really is more to it for some of us than just emotional ties. There are skill sets involved and there is more material to learn than someone is going to pick up from their experience from just getting to know a Dominant.

AquaticSub -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 8:04:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: Training is a part of everyday life. Training on a job, training children, training submissives, ect ect ect. I view training as teaching. How does he like his bed made? The toilet paper roll hung? His socks folded? His coffee made? All these, and so much more, are part of a training program. tazzygirl, Thanks for your input, bowever I have to say the way you put it might apply to every interpersonal relationship on earth. I was focusing on the D/s aspect. CP D/s has a nasty habit of not being exclusive. Meaning: Just because it applies to d/s doesn't prevent it from applying to every other interpersonal relationship on earth. Training is training is training. I train my hair to fall a certain way. He trains me fold his shirts. I train my drunk friend not to call at 3 AM by bitching them out. Training is just a part of a life that we all do and receive in some way or another, not a magical, mystical lifestyle thing.

tazzygirl -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 10:49:58 AM)
Thank you Aquatic. You said exactly what i thought when i read his reply. CP, perhaps you might explain just what you view as a D/s training experience that would not cross over into the "vanilla" world. Beyond the kink, i cant think of a single thing.

AquaticSub -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 11:12:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl Thank you Aquatic. You said exactly what i thought when i read his reply. CP, perhaps you might explain just what you view as a D/s training experience that would not cross over into the "vanilla" world. Beyond the kink, i cant think of a single thing. I'm in your miiiiiiiinnnnnnndddddd!!!! Hell even the kink factor has cross overs to the "vanilla" world. Boy Scouts are taught how to tie knots, horseback riding involves being trained on how to use a crop while riding and a whip if you get into breaking horses. Martial arts involves training on how to cause pain, subdue and retrain others. Certain medical training also involves being able to tie down and restrain patients who could be a danger to themselves or others. Frankly, there isn't much we do that is exclusive to us and doesn't relate to other, more or less, common activities/relationships.

tazzygirl -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 11:17:29 AM)
Ya know, you are right. Im still waiting to see what CP comes up with though. Or anyone else for that matter. Even teaching someone how to kneel, clothed, can cross over into vanilla life when a man wants nothing more than a footrub.

leadership527 -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 11:39:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub CP, perhaps you might explain just what you view as a D/s training experience that would not cross over into the "vanilla" world. Beyond the kink, i cant think of a single thing. Yeah, because... say... never in the history of the vanilla world has anyone ever tied up their lover? chuckles Even the kink isn't limited to kinksters. I'll never forget SimplyMichael sitting in my living room as I was sorting through all this kink stuff. His comment was, "Yeah, I meet women who tell me they're vanilla all the time. Then they pull out a 3 foot long dildo." Honestly, I think the only difference is one of focus. At some point, the kink becomes important enough to a person that they start self-identifying as "kinky".

tazzygirl -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 11:44:16 AM)
I explored handcuffs at 16. Enjoyed an erotic spanking at 17. Wont mention when i gave my first blow job... but it was better by the time i explored handcuffs. At that time, i didnt think of myself as kinky at all. In many ways, i still dont.

SaharahEve -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 11:46:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince Training? Where did this term come from? For those that have a fair amount of time in this path we walk..were you ever trained? For those relatively new folks that "seek" to be trained by their model Dominant...what do you think it means? To "train" means to instruct, teach or discipline, and I believe its etymology leads back to the early 15th century or late 14th century. To instruct, teach or discipline makes perfect sense in the D/s context, especially so in the M/s context. For those who seek training, the idea in my mind is that they seek and desire to be taught how to please their ideal Alpha...how to abide by their standards and rules and their particular form of dominance. A great amount of the psychological thrill in being a slave to another is molding yourself to the authority and force of the other person. Train, tutor, teach, break in, initiate...use whatever word you want, but it's necessary in my world, at least.

AquaticSub -> RE: Training ?????? (8/25/2010 12:44:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 Even the kink isn't limited to kinksters. I'll never forget SimplyMichael sitting in my living room as I was sorting through all this kink stuff. His comment was, "Yeah, I meet women who tell me they're vanilla all the time. Then they pull out a 3 foot long dildo." Honestly, I think the only difference is one of focus. At some point, the kink becomes important enough to a person that they start self-identifying as "kinky". Those things scare the hell out of me... But, just because it occurred to me, even inserting objects of various sizes has a non-kinky cross over. Male-to-female transgenders are given what are, basically, dildos to insert into their new vagina multiple times a day. Starting with small ones and moving up to larger ones. We really don't have much that is ours. [:)]

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875