RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (Full Version)

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igor2003 -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 8:30:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Myles

the one fetish that boggles my mind is Financial Domination, rings too much of " a fool and his money are easily parted" someone care to explain it?

Just a couple of thoughts.  Some people may link it to the concept of slavery in which the slave is not permitted to have financial assets.  Others want the humiliation angle of wanting to feel that the other person doesn't want them unless they pay for the privilege.  Others still get off on having no control over their finances.  There's also the deity angle.

Funny thing about fetishes, kinks, or dynamics that have anything to do with money.  There's a lot of gender bias on this one.  Folks don't often say much if it's a Master/slave dynamic and the Master takes control of  finances.  Make that Mistress/slave and suddenly, it's no longer a valid kink.



I have no doubt that there are those subs that do actually have such a fetish.  However if it actually were humiliation, loss of control, or a diety type of fetish as the main reasons then I can't help but wonder why it is almost all a matter of male subs.  If these were some of the main reasons wouldn't there be more fem subs sharing those fetishes and willing to give their money to a dom? 

I think it more likely, for the most part, that due to the large number of male subs all trying to get the attention of just a few fem dommes that many subs use this as a means of hoping to "buy" their way into the good graces of a mistress.  Time after time the female dominants on here say that the male subs have to do something that sets themselves apart from the masses.  So tell me, what is going to get a woman's attention the quickest...$500, or a sub that is willing to scrub their toilet once a week?



Twoshoes -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 8:32:19 AM)

You strolling around with stacks of cash, Myles?

On a serious note, financial domination seems to be linked to vulnerability.



Edit: I'm assuming you were addressing everyone else SubPet, but I'd like to expand on my statement.

If I give someone control of all my finances, then I'll feel vulnerable and vulnerbility is a turn on for me (whether it is me or someone else).That is at least one explanation.



SubPet715 -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 8:40:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

You strolling around with stacks of cash, Myles?

On a serious note, financial domination seems to be linked to vulnerability.


Yes by all means this thread has the makings of a good and open discussion about why one likes something, don't taint it by out and out bashing what someone else likes. There is a vulnerability with talking about what your fetishes are, so try to be understanding of some peoples wants and desires.



MrBukani -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 8:51:14 AM)

I dont have trouble understanding. I just dont respect that shit!



LadyPact -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 8:54:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
I have no doubt that there are those subs that do actually have such a fetish.  However if it actually were humiliation, loss of control, or a diety type of fetish as the main reasons then I can't help but wonder why it is almost all a matter of male subs.  If these were some of the main reasons wouldn't there be more fem subs sharing those fetishes and willing to give their money to a dom? 

I think it more likely, for the most part, that due to the large number of male subs all trying to get the attention of just a few fem dommes that many subs use this as a means of hoping to "buy" their way into the good graces of a mistress.  Time after time the female dominants on here say that the male subs have to do something that sets themselves apart from the masses.  So tell me, what is going to get a woman's attention the quickest...$500, or a sub that is willing to scrub their toilet once a week?

It doesn't have to be everybody's fetish.  The fact that some people have it is enough for it to qualify.

I happen to know a good number of M/s dynamics which are male led where the slave doesn't have any control of money whatsoever.  Some get a specific allowance or have to request permission to make purchases.  A few of them were long time posters on these boards, too.

As to your second paragraph, I think I've been more than forthcoming on these boards about what it takes for a submissive to 'stand above' the rest.  I'm not alone in that.  Many of the other female Dominants who are regular posters have done the same.  Quite often, the stories that we tell have very little to do with financial assets.  Though I have noticed a tendency for male submissives to want to blame financial status as a reason that they have been unable to form a dynamic with a Dominant woman.  It's very rare to hear them blame the potential possibility that it might have something to do with them.



leadership527 -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 9:16:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I think the fetishes that are most difficult to understand are the ones that don't disgust most people, but which leave them utterly baffled.

Dovetailing nicely with my answer of "eyeball licking". Huh... *blinks*


quote:

Of all of these, I think service is the most incomprehensible . . . and I'm someone who gets turned on by it!

I gotta admit, I don't get that either. Carol derives a great deal of personal satisfaction from serving me, but it doesn't get her all moist and wanting.



SubPet715 -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 9:17:56 AM)

Since I don't want to let on to what my fetishes are (they're all rather normal I assure you) for fear someone sees them and thinks less of me, I will mention one of my tamer ones.

I enjoy cfnm, it is an amazing turn on for me if the women is just fully clothed through any sexual activity. Cutting a hole through sweatpants, stretch pants, or wearing a skirt while she has me stripped down wearing nothing. There is such a sensual control there, because I am naked and vulnerable I feel as if i'm being used in a very good way.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 9:19:55 AM)

There are lines between Understanding, experiencing and enjoying things. I never forget the first time I heard "Daddy" pass through the lips of a girlfriend, back when I was in my early 20's. It really startled me in disturbing ways, then again I did not understand Jack-Shit about Daddy/Little Girl relationships. LOL It's really not a bad thing.

There are things that I understand, but does not mean I personally enjoy nor that I have to find accepting as part of What it is that I do. Diapers and Scat and few other things are on my "gross out" or "turn off" list.

For me personally, I have to have more of a understanding as to why people freak out over knife play and things that I take rather much for granted. Stuff that does not phase me one damn bit but totally freaks others out. It's not like I'm out to cut off body parts or anything like that.

Then again, I'm not into things such as Gun play (playing with loaded guns), because I grew up having a great deal of respect instilled in me about not treating guns like toys, and yeah it's risky. It's a risk I really ain't into. Personally, Gun play just makes me want to bitch slap somebody upside the head or across the face. Then again, that's what would have happened to me if I had been playing with loaded real guns. Actually would have had my ass beat with a belt and then some.

Ironic, as it is, It was not a problem with me building a homemade bed of nails when I 13 years old. Then again, some people freak out to hear about twisted stuff people actually did as a kid or a teenager. That it's somehow, by the age of 18 or 21 we just start doing things for the first time. Ironic, I was into bondage and many things before I actually started having sex. LOL Then again, some people don't understand you can do things without sex, but rather play off sexual tension.

What an interesting world it is, truly.



igor2003 -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 9:45:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
I have no doubt that there are those subs that do actually have such a fetish.  However if it actually were humiliation, loss of control, or a diety type of fetish as the main reasons then I can't help but wonder why it is almost all a matter of male subs.  If these were some of the main reasons wouldn't there be more fem subs sharing those fetishes and willing to give their money to a dom? 

I think it more likely, for the most part, that due to the large number of male subs all trying to get the attention of just a few fem dommes that many subs use this as a means of hoping to "buy" their way into the good graces of a mistress.  Time after time the female dominants on here say that the male subs have to do something that sets themselves apart from the masses.  So tell me, what is going to get a woman's attention the quickest...$500, or a sub that is willing to scrub their toilet once a week?

It doesn't have to be everybody's fetish.  The fact that some people have it is enough for it to qualify.

I happen to know a good number of M/s dynamics which are male led where the slave doesn't have any control of money whatsoever.  Some get a specific allowance or have to request permission to make purchases.  A few of them were long time posters on these boards, too.

As to your second paragraph, I think I've been more than forthcoming on these boards about what it takes for a submissive to 'stand above' the rest.  I'm not alone in that.  Many of the other female Dominants who are regular posters have done the same.  Quite often, the stories that we tell have very little to do with financial assets.  Though I have noticed a tendency for male submissives to want to blame financial status as a reason that they have been unable to form a dynamic with a Dominant woman.  It's very rare to hear them blame the potential possibility that it might have something to do with them.



You are comparing apples and oranges here just for the sake of argument.  Nothing was said about it being everybody's fetish.  I don't know where you got that except that I have noticed that many fem-dommes on this site like to change things around and take things out of context simply to sound superior or something. 

There are MANY situations in and out of BDSM where one partner controls the purse strings.  That has nothing to do with the topic at hand which is about financial dommes and financial slaves and why it is a fetish for THOSE in particular. 

And again no one said that YOU were a financial domme, so I don't know why you took what I said personally.  Thin skin?  You gave your thoughts on why there were financial slaves fetishes, and I gave mine.  So what's your problem?  Can't accept that other people have other ideas?

And the last part of your statement about financial situations has nothing to do with what I wrote nor the topic.  Maybe you just wanted to stand on your soapbox a little longer to spread your message?

I don't mind an honest discussion, but if we are talking about apples, then keep the topic on apples.



LadyPact -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 10:16:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
You are comparing apples and oranges here just for the sake of argument.  Nothing was said about it being everybody's fetish.  I don't know where you got that except that I have noticed that many fem-dommes on this site like to change things around and take things out of context simply to sound superior or something. 

There are MANY situations in and out of BDSM where one partner controls the purse strings.  That has nothing to do with the topic at hand which is about financial dommes and financial slaves and why it is a fetish for THOSE in particular. 

And again no one said that YOU were a financial domme, so I don't know why you took what I said personally.  Thin skin?  You gave your thoughts on why there were financial slaves fetishes, and I gave mine.  So what's your problem?  Can't accept that other people have other ideas?

And the last part of your statement about financial situations has nothing to do with what I wrote nor the topic.  Maybe you just wanted to stand on your soapbox a little longer to spread your message?

I don't mind an honest discussion, but if we are talking about apples, then keep the topic on apples.

It was actually you who wanted to throw the strawman of why some submissives are chosen by Dominant women over others.  That didn't really have a thing to do with "what fetish don't you understand" which was the original of the thread.  Your belief about why some submissives aren't able to find a Dominant who pursues a dynamic with them was what wasn't on the topic.  The topic isn't about those people who enjoy the fetish to justify it. 

I can promise you that it's not a thin skin that is the issue here.  Every fetish discussion doesn't need to be an opportunity for someone to come along to sing their chorus of 'money would make someone a desired submissive'.

In fact, you didn't give your view on the concept of financial Domination as a fetish at all.  Instead, you wanted to lean on the disproportionate numbers theory as to why money is an equalizer.  Yet, some of the submissive males that are thought of the most highly around these boards aren't perceived that way by the Dominant women here because of what they have in their wallet.  They are attractive, smart, willing to submit, and a whole list of qualities of why the Dommes here would nab them for a dynamic.

Rather than derail the thread further, if you don't believe Me on the matter, why not a little independent research?  Write ten Dominant women who are active on the forums and ask them who they see as good prospective subs who contribute on these forums and why.  See how many of the male names overlap across various lists.



Voodali -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 10:45:23 AM)

Let's see...

Anything thick and/or chunky that comes out of the body. Anything that harms an animal.  Balloons...I mean they're fun, but hardly wank material for most.

I do get the Daddy/Daughter dynamic.  I'm sure there are times when many of us would like to indulge the inner child and feel protected. The thing I couldn't do is call someone "Daddy" and not be immediately reminded of my father, which would be like having a bucket of cold water dumped on my libido.

Adult babies with moustaches I get only intellectually.  I wouldn't want to be one, and I would suck at playing with one because I am repulsed by real infants, let alone big hairy ones, particularly if they pinch a loaf in their diapers.  Also, for no apparent reason, moustaches turn me off unless you can pull one off like Freddie Mercury.Would I befriend and respect an AB, absolutely !

A seemingly common fetish...or perhaps its a lifestyle choice...that I don't get is poly with one male and more than one female.  I don't share, or see why I should have to.  Solitude is preferable, and I've often chosen it.



Voodali -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 10:51:24 AM)

quote:

So tell me, what is going to get a woman's attention the quickest...$500, or a sub that is willing to scrub their toilet once a week?


Given the choice between a moderately attractive, local, single, intelligent boy who cares about me as a person (and not a fetish delivery system), submits and obeys orders with consistency, and who regularly shows up and scrubs my toilet once every week without flaking, and is willing to accompany me to BDSM events, and $500.00, I'll take the boy, because he's incredibly rare and worth way more than $500 !



sothernnyte -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 10:58:54 AM)

i have a difficult enough time understanding why i enjoy the things i do, much less anyone else's fetishes.

some i don't care for and wouldnt consider. those i just step away from.

if it is with my Mistress or my girlfriend (my gf and i are both sub to our Mistress), i am more open to trying fetishes that perhaps arent my own as long as they dont cross over into my limits.

to each their own and me to mine



D0M1NANT -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 11:52:26 AM)

My personal walk thru this maze W/we call life has never led Me into the enjoyment of scat or watersports.. I have tried them to experience different aspects of the lifestyle I have embraced but do not understand the enjoyment derived from them. I will not condemn someone who does get such enjoyment.. O/our lifestyle cant be accepted by society at large if W/we cant all accept E/each O/other regardless of kinks that float O/our respective boats..



gungadin09 -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 12:20:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I mean why - *why* - would someone get turned on by serving someone? It's nutty!


Funny. That REALLY turns me on.

pam



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 12:38:55 PM)

I *understand* most fetishes, I just don't participate in the ones that I don't like. For me, the notion of changing the diaper of an adult who is not physically incapacitated is repugant. YAY for those that enjoy that, though. I am sure that there are those who find the sight of blood disgusted, while I am excited by it.

It's a world of folks.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 1:00:51 PM)

It can be creepy, or non creepy, just depends on the couples  or individuals motivation for doing it.

For me it's not creepy at all. My interest in Daddy Doms is a fatherly figure who loves you and guides you and teaches you, and adores the aspects of you that are still very vulnerable like a child. I sometimes argue with myself internally that doms and Daddy doms are not that much different, in roles and natures, since both nurture lead, guide and shape you, but then all the non Daddy  inclined types, never did appreciate the parts of me that are still very much vunerable and child like and how my views on things actually are from a childs view point, like how things should be fair and just, and I know logically the worlds not a fair or just place, but the parts of me that are still a child thinks they should be.

My past doms , who were not Daddy style  inclined. always tried to change or ignore the parts of me that were what makes me who I am.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I don't understand Roman, and I don't understand the whole "daddy dom" thing. Is it as creepy as it sounds?



LaTigresse -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 1:04:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: D0M1NANT

My personal walk thru this maze W/we call life has never led Me into the enjoyment of scat or watersports.. I have tried them to experience different aspects of the lifestyle I have embraced but do not understand the enjoyment derived from them. I will not condemn someone who does get such enjoyment.. O/our lifestyle cant be accepted by society at large if W/we cant all accept E/each O/other regardless of kinks that float O/our respective boats..


A prime example of another fetish I do not understand.

S/slashy T/type.



PeonForHer -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 2:41:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I think the fetishes that are most difficult to understand are the ones that don't disgust most people, but which leave them utterly baffled. Of all of these, I think service is the most incomprehensible . . . and I'm someone who gets turned on by it!

I mean why - *why* - would someone get turned on by serving someone? It's nutty!



Not to take the conversation off in a different direction, but I wanted to say about Service...it's not the "Service" that's the turn on...it's the "subtext" involved in the mental process of the sub, and the (at least for me) electrically charged interaction with the Dominant that is the turn on.  [:)]




Hmm! Now, *that* struck a chord. Whenever I think of service, I always think of the Domme's face, how she feels, then how I feel as a result of how she feels, then how she feels as a result of how I feel about . . . . er . . . . You get the picture. Then energy seems to bounce backwards and forwards, increasing as it does so. (There's a word in Physics for that. Perhaps VC will supply it.) [;)]

Heh. I'll never stop being intrigued by this stuff.



peacefulplace -> RE: Which Fetish(es) Do You Have Trouble Understanding? (9/2/2010 2:50:16 PM)

Well...I'd like to join the chorus of people who just found out what "Roman" showers are. I think I could have gone my whole life without that mental image to torment me!



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