Bisexual Dominants

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CarpeComa -> Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:33:16 AM)
This is a spin-off of this thread. It is fairly well established here, on the other side, and other places that there is a bias against bisexual dominant male partners on the part of submissive females ranging from "I don't want one for a partner" to outright hostility towards them. It is also a reasonably well established understanding that bisexuality (or willingness to engage in sexual acts with both genders) is generally approved of by straight dominant men and women on the part of submissive partners. Of course there are exceptions, your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, yada yada yada. What I am curious to know is: Does a general dislike for bisexual dominant partners exist across gender pairings? If you identify as submissive, is your dominant partner of choice one that is solely interested in your gender? Do you care? As a dominant, have you either directly witnessed bias against bisexuality coming from submissive partners or felt it being implied? Do you feel that such feelings are fairly common among the submissive gender(s) of your choice?

sexyred1 -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:36:55 AM)
Yes, I care. I want a Dominant male partner who is totally straight. End of story.

leadership527 -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:42:11 AM)
I have no idea what "female submissives" may or may not think since I don't really recognize that as a category. Carol is sex-positive. While we are both hetero right now, I think under the right circumstances she'd be fine with her being sexual with a woman and/or me being sexual with a man. I just don't think the plumbing would register on her. She'd be more worried about the poly angle.

Hillwilliam -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:43:10 AM)
I think that female bisexual Dominants are more "socially acceptable" than male. that is the result of my totally unscientific (some would say bullshit) sampling. But, if you look at it, I think that bi male subs are less accepted than bi female subs also. Guys just cant win. LOL

Twoshoes -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:43:36 AM)
I'd like to add the following question for everyone who replies: Does it matter at all to you if the man in question cannot form romantic relationships with men? Edit: wasn't directed only at Jeff.

leadership527 -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:45:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twoshoes Does it matter at all to you if the man in question cannot form romantic relationships with men? Still wouldn't matter to Carol other than the poly angle. She'd prefer our marriage stay monogamous and has concerns that it may not.

LadyPact -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:46:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CarpeComa As a dominant, have you either directly witnessed bias against bisexuality coming from submissive partners or felt it being implied? Do you feel that such feelings are fairly common among the submissive gender(s) of your choice? This isn't My personal experience. Being a straight Dominant, I've noticed it more the other way around. I can't tell you how many times over the years I've specifically heard, "I wish you were bi" from female submissives. In fact, the subject has come up more with female submissives than their male counterparts.

LadyPact -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:49:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam But, if you look at it, I think that bi male subs are less accepted than bi female subs also. Guys just cant win. LOL Heh. Just means more for Me and that means I win. I can live with that. [:D]

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:49:48 AM)
Interesting that you neglected to account for bisexual female dominants, of which I am one, and differences in how we relate to bisexuality in submissive partners and/or how they relate to our sexual orientation. If/when you work those factors into your question, I might be willing to answer. However, as it stands, I find your phrasing to be too heterosexist to be of any value.

NeedsFocus -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:53:30 AM)
For me, I don't really care if he is bisexual or not. The only problem with that is that I am not poly in any way. I'm not really good at sharing. To share sexually is one thing, but to share emotionally is something entirely different.

Wolf2Bear -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:56:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NeedsFocus For me, I don't really care if he is bisexual or not. The only problem with that is that I am not poly in any way. I'm not really good at sharing. To share sexually is one thing, but to share emotionally is something entirely different. Yet many who have bisexual leanings do not necessary indulge in their desires. A person who identifies as bisexual do not mean they are not or can not be monogamous.

littlewonder -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:58:18 AM)
I care. It was one of the first questions I asked him when getting to know him. If he had said he was bi I would not have bothered getting to know him as anything more than a friend. I have nothing against bisexual people. I just don't want to be in a relationship with one. I like men who are completely and utterly hetero. It's what I'm attracted to. The idea that he has any kind of interest whatsoever in another male just turns me off and I just can't see him as relationship material for me. I have no idea what is or isn't all that common in bdsm. It's not something i really pay attention to because it doesn't involve me directly. What others do is of no business to me.

Zevar -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:59:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CarpeComa This is a spin-off of this thread. It is fairly well established here, on the other side, and other places that there is a bias against bisexual dominant male partners on the part of submissive females ranging from "I don't want one for a partner" to outright hostility towards them. It is also a reasonably well established understanding that bisexuality (or willingness to engage in sexual acts with both genders) is generally approved of by straight dominant men and women on the part of submissive partners. Of course there are exceptions, your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, yada yada yada. What I am curious to know is: Does a general dislike for bisexual dominant partners exist across gender pairings? If you identify as submissive, is your dominant partner of choice one that is solely interested in your gender? Do you care? As a dominant, have you either directly witnessed bias against bisexuality coming from submissive partners or felt it being implied? Do you feel that such feelings are fairly common among the submissive gender(s) of your choice? Gender/ Sexual orientation blending is what I would call shifting from one gender expression to another gender/ sexual orientation expression only to not be solely of the gender/ sexual orientation expression that was originally presented. I am Heterosexual/Straight & Dominant. I do not express Gender/Sexual Orientation blending whatsoever! 100% only Dominant with NO desire to explore any other role! Obviously some differ. I respect there are differences for others. Actually there are many differences in pairing for many people. However as I stated earlier I am not willing to explore in this manner. In the nutshell I am Heterosexual/Straight & Dominant & ONLY willing to pair with a lady who is Heterosexual/Straight & Submissive. Simple! Other than that combination is when platonic friendship is considered. Do I care? 100% I do! Take care!

myotherself -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 12:04:04 PM)
I only want a man who is straight. I'm aware that just because a man is bisexual does not mean he is going to sleep with the opposite gender when he gets a partner. But discussions with a 'nilla bisexual male friend, who has been married for many years, led to him disclosing that he really missed having sex with another man. He hinted that his wife had 'ways to satisfy those urges', but that was way too much info for me [:'(] And to be honest, the thought of using a dildo or strap-on with my dominant would have me running away, screaming!

allthatjaz -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 12:06:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear quote: ORIGINAL: NeedsFocus For me, I don't really care if he is bisexual or not. The only problem with that is that I am not poly in any way. I'm not really good at sharing. To share sexually is one thing, but to share emotionally is something entirely different. Yet many who have bisexual leanings do not necessary indulge in their desires. A person who identifies as bisexual do not mean they are not or can not be monogamous. Well I'm glad someone said it! My partner has had previous bi experiences and I'm perfectly cool with that. He told me recently that the reason his last relationship broke up is because she asked him (once well into the relationship) if he had ever considered a man. When he told her that he had not only considered it but done it, she replied 'thats disgusting. Lets not ever talk about this again please' Her words hung over him for a while before he decided she just wasn't an open minded enough girl for him. He shows absolutely no sign of wanting to go with a man. We are poly with our fem sub and he is more than happy with that. But if its okay for me then why shouldn't it be okay for him [8\|]

NeedsFocus -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 12:12:48 PM)
quote: Well I'm glad someone said it! My partner has had previous bi experiences and I'm perfectly cool with that. He told me recently that the reason his last relationship broke up is because she asked him (once well into the relationship) if he had ever considered a man. When he told her that he had not only considered it but done it, she replied 'thats disgusting. Lets not ever talk about this again please' Her words hung over him for a while before he decided she just wasn't an open minded enough girl for him. He shows absolutely no sign of wanting to go with a man. We are poly with our fem sub and he is more than happy with that. But if its okay for me then why shouldn't it be okay for him [8\|] Well, to be completely honest, I'm not really into sharing at all. I don't want to be used by anyone else and I don't want him using anyone else. So there isn't really a double standard there for me. And since there is no "Him" currently, it doesn't really matter. :)

chiaThePet -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 12:14:08 PM)
I would just like to take this opportunity to acknowledge all the Straight Male Dominants who have perved my profile. Thank you, thank you very much. chia* (the pet)

chiaThePet -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 12:20:44 PM)
Was that a pin dropping? chia* (the pet)

LaTigresse -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 12:39:59 PM)
Chia, you make me smile. Thank you!!! Your statement reminds me of something I've often wondered. How many of those straight (when asked by a woman who's pants they desperately wanted to get into) were stretching the truth a wee bit. Maybe I've just known too many gay men that were a sneaky convenient fuck for a 'totally hetro' man.

chiaThePet -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 12:41:54 PM)
[;)] chia* (the pet)

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