RE: Bisexual Dominants

RE: Bisexual Dominants (Full Version)

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mstrjx -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 7:05:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet I would just like to take this opportunity to acknowledge all the Straight Male Dominants who have perved my profile. Thank you, thank you very much. chia* (the pet) Chia, you have the best quotes for me to glom onto today. Thanks! 14 out the last 15 pervs of my profile have been from men. Now, I suppose it's possible that I'm the poster child for all things 'Dominant Man with froo-froo Avatars'. I stand on the all-straight-all-the-time males side of the room. Jeff

ShoreBound149 -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 7:14:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 quote: ORIGINAL: CarpeComa This is a spin-off of this thread. It is fairly well established here, on the other side, and other places that there is a bias against bisexual dominant male partners on the part of submissive females ranging from "I don't want one for a partner" to outright hostility towards them. It is also a reasonably well established understanding that bisexuality (or willingness to engage in sexual acts with both genders) is generally approved of by straight dominant men and women on the part of submissive partners. Of course there are exceptions, your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, yada yada yada. What I am curious to know is: Does a general dislike for bisexual dominant partners exist across gender pairings? If you identify as submissive, is your dominant partner of choice one that is solely interested in your gender? Do you care? As a dominant, have you either directly witnessed bias against bisexuality coming from submissive partners or felt it being implied? Do you feel that such feelings are fairly common among the submissive gender(s) of your choice? Our relationship would end immediately if he ever told me that he had even one single bisexual experience. I would instantly lose all attraction to him. It's an absolute requirement for me that he is 100% heterosexual. Yo Hunker...you can go ahead and cancel that tour of the winery we had scheduled in October...

Aynne88 -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 7:14:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 Oh yeah...one more thing....if he suddenly decided that he was a switch, it would end the relationship too. I'm really fucking shallow. Not. I will make no excuses for being attracted only to a 100% dominant, straight man. He fits the bill quite nicely. It's how I'm wired. Yep. I have the same electrician. ;) No apologies. I can not fathom him with a guy, even 30 years ago. Turn off big time. Switching is the same thing. It makes me hugely turned off and I am ok with that knowledge.

petitespitfire64 -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 7:25:26 PM)
Good lord... in THIS forum, so many of you have problems with a Dominant male who chooses his lovers by what's in thier hearts and minds, and NOT what's between thier legs? Wow.... just...wow.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 9:16:51 PM)
We're all entitled to whatever standards and requirements we like in another person, I am not going to sneer at anyone for wanting what they want. I am sad, though, when I see such incredible vehemence that HE MUST NOT BE>>>> whatever. Not ever? So, if he let some guy blow him while he was drunk, he's not worthy anymore? If he likes it up the ass, no way? Really? Fine. I've heard this so often over the years, that he will only be the domly dom if he meets the woman's personal standard of what a dom is. Heaven forfend if he has some silly adventures from band camp, because he sure as hell will have to carry them to his grave. What I would like to know is this: in this "lifestyle", which is based on trust and transparency, WHAT ELSE DOES HE HAVE TO HIDE? What do YOU have to hide from him, so that YOU can stay worthy, and his fantasy sub? Of course you are accepting him for what he IS, right? You wouldn't have chosen him otherwise? And he is going to stay EXACTLY THE SAME. And so are you.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 9:29:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet I would just like to take this opportunity to acknowledge all the Straight Male Dominants who have perved my profile. Thank you, thank you very much. chia* (the pet) Having said that, I had to perv your profile.

chiaThePet -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 9:34:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet I would just like to take this opportunity to acknowledge all the Straight Male Dominants who have perved my profile. Thank you, thank you very much. chia* (the pet) Having said that, I had to perv your profile. You're so sweet. Sometimes. chia* (the pet)

ResidentSadist -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 9:43:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet I would just like to take this opportunity to acknowledge all the Straight Male Dominants who have perved my profile. Thank you, thank you very much. chia* (the pet) Having said that, I had to perv your profile. You're so sweet. Sometimes. chia* (the pet) You have a nice profile. I have always enjoyed your humor because it often displayed insight. After reading your profile, I see that your self awareness is astute as your situational awareness. I appreciate people with heart and intellect. Actually, I was just glad to discover your haircut in real life is not as chaotic as your avatar's.

Marini -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 9:45:03 PM)
Speaking as a female dominant, I have had thousands, it seems like millions of bi-sexual/and or bi-curious men approach me online. Not to mention, the fairly large number of men that want to be "forced-bi", in the kink world. Count me among those that also considers it a "turn-off". I am one of those people who would be unable to get "it" out of my head. There are plenty of women that don't seem to mind, so find one of them. [8\|] If anything, I would be interested in forcing them straight. lol It HAS become a hard limit for me, because I am not interested in sharing a man with another man nor will I be providing men for him to "play" with. So, for me why would I want to even bother? I have nothing against bi-sexual or bi-curious men, I just don't want to be in a serious or short-term, or long-term relationship with a bi-sexual submissive male. no, no, no I don't see having hard limits as a bad thing. We all have them, so to each their own.

Zevar -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 9:51:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus We're all entitled to whatever standards and requirements we like in another person, I am not going to sneer at anyone for wanting what they want. I am sad, though, when I see such incredible vehemence that HE MUST NOT BE>>>> whatever. Not ever? So, if he let some guy blow him while he was drunk, he's not worthy anymore? If he likes it up the ass, no way? Really? Fine. I've heard this so often over the years, that he will only be the domly dom if he meets the woman's personal standard of what a dom is. Heaven forfend if he has some silly adventures from band camp, because he sure as hell will have to carry them to his grave. What I would like to know is this: in this "lifestyle", which is based on trust and transparency, WHAT ELSE DOES HE HAVE TO HIDE? What do YOU have to hide from him, so that YOU can stay worthy, and his fantasy sub? Of course you are accepting him for what he IS, right? You wouldn't have chosen him otherwise? And he is going to stay EXACTLY THE SAME. And so are you. Greetings LadyHibiscus: I found your entry to be thoughtfully presented with excellent points to contemplate for everyone considering a relationship. However not everyone is open minded as the next person. Some things are just too much to accept for many people. As a heterosexual dominant man I could not imagine relating with a Bi-Sexual female. I understand that some men have zero issues with such. For myself though I simply do not find female on female sex arousing. I find same gender sexual relations repulsive for myself. The thought of my lady giving herself to a woman would be a major deal breaker. What works for another does not always work for everyone. No judgement on others. I simply am the man I am as are the women who happen to find heterosexual dominant men their preference. I find NO shame or harm in accepting my preferences. Ignoring them and living for others is however something that is never the way to go. I believe there are plenty of people in this World for every preference one could imagine. Honesty is the best policy even if another believes otherwise. I do agree with your reasoning regarding being able to discuss everything in a relationship without punitive results. Again not everyone is able to offer this sort of trait while others are. Thank you for your words as they did generate my reply & for that I am genuinely thankful. [;)] Take care!

AlexandraLynch -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/6/2010 11:08:42 PM)
I like bisexuals as dominants, submissives, switches, whatever. My husband and I are both bi, and we prefer it in our submissives. Not that I won't take on a straight sub, but I prefer bi boys. I think they're better in bed.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/7/2010 12:33:07 AM)
~FR~ Daddy is straight and I'm bisexual and, were I single, it wouldn't bother me to be with a bisexual Domme. It would bother me to think of any Dom I belonged to having sexual intimacy w/ another man, and I don't know why, but I'm trying to get over that. It bothers me that it would matter to me. I also know that bisexual people are capable of monogamy and just as deeply committed relationships as those who swing only one way, either gay/lesbian or straight. ~sweetsub~

allthatjaz -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/7/2010 2:43:35 AM)
I always get the impression that dominants need to prove their manliness. I have never thought of gay men as being any less manly, in fact some of the most manly men I know are gay. Switching and having a bi experience is just that, an experience and bares no relevance on his manliness. Yesterday my guy was out in a sea in a storm. That's his job, that's what he sometimes has to face. 40 ft waves, frightening winds with numerous threats of the boat going over and I whilst I sat worrying about him and continually listening for news, I thought about this thread and the ludicrousness of it. I wouldn't care if he came home and told me, 'I did all that dressed up as Marlyn Monroe!' If that had been an experience he needed then I would just smile, probably grin and say 'how did that feel?' I apologize for being so harsh Aileen, but when your looking at possible life death situations, as I was yesterday, worrying or being turned off by my man not being manly enough just seems... well I can't even start to imagine it.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/7/2010 4:24:31 AM)
Once again....it's that holier than thou attitude which I reacted too. I never said a single personal thing to you because of your preferences. I never said that you suck or that you're crazy because you are in a relationship with a man who has had bi experiences. All I said was that it wasn't possible FOR ME. And you took it personal for whatever reason. You called me sad and shallow and now you're pulling the "my man is more manly than your man" card because of his job. Followed by the once again, holier than thou attitude and implication of me being shallow because of my preferences and you being so much better for your ability to deal with life and death. You don't know my life, or that of my man's. So don't assume.

thishereboi -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/7/2010 4:35:22 AM)
quote: It is fairly well established here, on the other side, and other places that there is a bias against bisexual dominant male partners on the part of submissive females ranging from "I don't want one for a partner" to outright hostility towards them. How was this fairly well established? How many people did you actually talk to before you came to this conclusion?

DesFIP -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/7/2010 4:38:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus What I would like to know is this: in this "lifestyle", which is based on trust and transparency, WHAT ELSE DOES HE HAVE TO HIDE? What do YOU have to hide from him, so that YOU can stay worthy, and his fantasy sub? Of course you are accepting him for what he IS, right? You wouldn't have chosen him otherwise? And he is going to stay EXACTLY THE SAME. And so are you. He doesn't have to hide anything. He has to be upfront about it as do I so we can BOTH see if we are fundamentally compatible. Just as I have deal breakers, so does he. And some of them may well affect our future. There are things I could do which he would not tolerate, and things he could do which I cannot. We are both entitled to our own needs being met. As far as when needs collide, well that's when we are no longer sufficiently compatible.

allthatjaz -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/7/2010 6:19:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 Once again....it's that holier than thou attitude which I reacted too. I never said a single personal thing to you because of your preferences. I never said that you suck or that you're crazy because you are in a relationship with a man who has had bi experiences. All I said was that it wasn't possible FOR ME. And you took it personal for whatever reason. You called me sad and shallow and now you're pulling the "my man is more manly than your man" card because of his job. Followed by the once again, holier than thou attitude and implication of me being shallow because of my preferences and you being so much better for your ability to deal with life and death. You don't know my life, or that of my man's. So don't assume. Wow! you sound so upset by what I said. Calm down I'm only an invisible person on the internet [8\|]

chiaThePet -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/7/2010 6:25:54 AM)
Can't we all just get a bong..........er............along? chia* (the pet)

bellesoumise -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/7/2010 6:37:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet Can't we all just get a bong..........er............along? chia* (the pet) I find random groping is an instant argument ender. That bongeralong sounds like a good option also. Everyone bongeralong before coming to the forum. A bisexual man isn't my cup of tea. A bisexual girl? I'll take the entire pitcher please. [:D]

Aynne88 -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/7/2010 7:12:28 AM)
You are trying to tie things in together that don't have any relevance on each other. It doesn't matter at all what Steve does for a living nor does it matter if a Dom has a life and death job on a daily basis. I don't care if John (my guy)rescues puppies and babies from burning buildings every day, if he did it dressed in drag or got a blowjob afterwards, he isn't the guy for me. He'would be a great guy, but I don't dig bi-sexual men as partners, and the rest of the surrounding issues are just clouding that simple fact up. Aileen was correct to get defensive, you basically said that she was shallow to feel that way in light of some kind of bigger picture of life and death issues, which made little sense regarding the pesonal preferences of what we look for or desire in a partner. Sorry Aileen, I didn't mean to speak for you, but since we share a very similar outlook on this I wanted to reply. Obviously many women feel the same way here. Also, it is awesome to read that Zevar does not want his woman to have bisexual experiences with others, my man is that way as well, and I get tired of people thinking it's so fucked up that he doesn't want to see me with or participate himself with another hot chick. It doesn't mean he is homophobic or uptight either, maybe he's just in love and monogamous? I am a lucky woman, I don't forget it.

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