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Wolf2Bear -> RE: Bisexual Dominants (9/8/2010 1:03:29 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
quote:
ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear
What I underlined is the crux to what I was attempting to say. Nowhere in all my opoists on this topic had I called anyone homophobic and no where had I called you or anyone else homophobic either. I used the word "wonder" specifically because I am trying my damnedest to understand as much of people's reasoning on how they feel on certain topics such as this. The more I learn, the better I understand humanity and the more I am able to gain tolerance myself. Understanding brings knowledge and that is all I am trying to do, trying to understand others and in turn understand why I am the way I am.
Since you are participating in this thread, bear, maybe you can add additional insight. My understanding has been that there are some folks who identify as homosexual that also have the same preferences/opinions regarding partnerships with bisexuals. From what I've been exposed to, there is also some of the same thought patterns. There have been comments made from time to time that if someone is bi, they aren't "really" gay because they have a sexual interest in both genders. I'm not attempting to justify anyone's preference either way, but perhaps you could lend some wisdom of things that you have heard and/or experienced through the gay community. From what I know, there are folks out there who aren't heterosexual that do also consider this when dealing with a prospective partner. Maybe you could enlighten Me?
I did know a bisexual woman years ago who, even though she was bisexual herself, absolutely refused to even date a male who was bi. In fact, she had some pretty terrible things to say on the matter. I'm not sure if I want to say outright that it seemed a bit hypocritical, but it was certainly odd to Me.
Greetings Lady P.
From my own experience in the local gay community, that attitude which you stated is sadly alive and well. Most of the gay males have a learned attitude that women are for lack of a better term "yucky" and any male who identifies as bisexual is either called confused or simply unable to make their mind if they are attracted to women or men. A few years ago, I was questioned to how I could engage in BDSM play with a woman because I was gay. I had to explain to this person as if I was talking to a child that I am able to separate sexual BDSM activities with non sexual BDSM activities without conflict. Yes it is a fact that many of us in the gay community, both male and female, are just as bad or even worse for being intolerant of others, I see this every month going to a LGBT dance and observing the lack of social interactions between the genders and overhearing many of my acquaintances making derogatory comments about the women who attend.
For the longest time, I confess I also had that same close minded attitude regarding bisexuals, I knew I was wrong, I knew it stemmed from me not understanding the whys and wherefores of how a person could be attracted to both males and females yet didn't know where to start to change that. It took an honest heart to heart talk with friend of mine who identifies as bisexual to explain the attraction to both. Her analogy is "sometimes I feel like having a glass of wine and sometimes I feel like having a beer." It's amazing how a simple ananlogy was able to clear my predjudice towards bisexuals. I keep that analogy in mind every time I find I am about to make a derogatory remark towards anyone who's orientation is one I don't understand as well as their kink proclivities.
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